Category Archives: AM

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Busted

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 
Me: Good morning! Happy Wednesday! 8:43 AM
Kris: Same to you! Mwah! 9:13 AM
Me: Busy day? Hugs with groping. 9:26 AM
Kris: Pretty busy…not too bad. You? 11:01 AM
Me: Writing performance reviews for two people. Bleh. But making good progress! Can’t wait for it to be over! Hugs! 11:39 AM
Kris: “Rolling along” as u say…eah? I’m not sure “my performance” 😉 eval by u would be such a good one. (Ok…owe u another quarter.) 12:55 PM
=====
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday. June 25, 2014 4:48 PM
Re: Birthday wishes
Hi Sassy!
Thanks again for writing so much.  You have a great capacity for “attention to detail”…in MANY ways 🙂  Looking forward to checking off more items on the list!
Honestly, I’m a little stressed about Wife’s recent high level of suspicion.  I also suspect she’s getting fed crap from kids that’s feeding her suspicion–and now have at least 2 out of 4 of them pissed at me—-maybe 3 out of 4.  Our “talk” (to take place on Friday) is going to include me insisting that she eliminate them as “support” for her gripes against me.  
She’s never been able to “contain anxiety”—which is the main driver of that behavior.  She’s not necessarily trying to directly hurt me.  She just can’t “keep it to herself”—and ends up venting to the wrong people.  I told her if we can’t work things out (mostly around my lying about the bike and money in general)—I’d consider going to a marriage counselor.  But I’m NOT going to admit to having an affair.  I’ll have to get caught red-handed with indisputable evidence.  And I will NEVER “out” you—–EVER!!!!!
Kris
======
Me: Eating grapes. Thinking of you. And a boat. And.. yum. 9:30 PM
Kris: W not responding. Something bad is happening. just went to her work and they asked me to leave. She must have instructed them to not allow me there or quit job. May have been caught, but don’t know how. 9:38 PM
Me: So sorry to hear this. Try to stay calm. Hugs. Delete these texts. 🙂 9:47 PM
====
·       Jun 25 9:47 PM Kris: You there?
·       Jun 25 9:48 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Jun 25 9:48 PM Kris: been deleting all texts for past few days…moot point since she’s not around to ask to see them
·       Jun 25 9:49 PM Sassy: But she might at any time… better safe than sorry.
·       Jun 25 9:49 PM Sassy: I know it’s a pain.
·       Jun 25 9:50 PM Kris: least of my worries. f I’m caught I don’t know what she’ll do…
·       Jun 25 9:50 PM Sassy: Can you say there is confidential client stuff… better she not look?
·       Jun 25 9:50 PM Sassy: Don’t get ahead of yourself. Stay in the present. Deal with right now.
·       Jun 25 9:51 PM Kris: I am…but I’m pretty sure I’m caught. do you remember when I accidentally sent a text meant for you to my son?
·       Jun 25 9:51 PM Sassy: yes
·       Jun 25 9:52 PM Sassy: what did it say?
·       Jun 25 9:52 PM Kris: it didn’t have a lot of “really juicy” stuff, but enough to incriminate me, and my son told my wife about it, who asked me about it. at first my answer was believed – just a “joke” meant to send to wife but accidentally sent to son. they believed it before, but not now…
·       Jun 25 9:52 PM Sassy: it doesn’t prove anything
·       Jun 25 9:53 PM Kris: no, but given the present circumstances my credibility is zero with my wife, son, and at least one daughter—maybe all if they’re “talking amongst themselves”.
·       Jun 25 9:53 PM Sassy: I’m sorry. I know this is scary.
·       Jun 25 9:54 PM Sassy: Try not to let the “what ifs” get to you
·       Jun 25 9:54 PM Kris: I pretty much know how this is likely to play out, since I’ve been through it before….
·       Jun 25 9:55 PM Sassy: yes?
·       Jun 25 9:55 PM Kris: well, sort of. if she reacts the way she has in the past. but hard to say for sure.
·       Jun 25 9:57 PM Kris: my biggest fear right now (other than losing my wife who I actually still love) is the increased financial stress this puts on me, since I was looking forward to her weekly  contribution to our bills over the next 8 weeks, which is now gone.
·       Jun 25 9:58 PM Sassy: You don’t know that
·       Jun 25 9:59 PM Kris: I know my wife – something very serious is going on. I think my son and one of my daughters have convinced her to “not let me manipulate her” and to separate from me and recruit people to confront me. that’s what she’s done in the past.
·       Jun 25 9:59 PM Sassy: How can I help you? I don’t have money but I’d like to ease your mind somehow
·       Jun 25 9:59 PM Sassy: over a motorcyle?
·       Jun 25 10:01 PM Sassy: Can you tell her you love her? Want to stay? Will do what it takes?
·       Jun 25 10:01 PM Kris: the text I sent my son had your nickname in it….”Sassy girl”…..that doesn’t put you at any risk but it betrays that I’m not talking to my wife..  My son must have shared that with one of my daughters because she texted me and said I was “disgusting”. when I said she didn’t know what was going on she texted back: “HI Sassy girl.”
·       Jun 25 10:01 PM Sassy: Uh oh
·       Jun 25 10:01 PM Sassy: Still doesn’t prove anything
·       Jun 25 10:02 PM Sassy: Take a deep breath.
·       Jun 25 10:02 PM Kris: no, but it’s more than a little suspicious. I just checked my phone bill to see if there was anything incriminating there. the total texting I do is not much more than my son’s and the rare times I talked on the phone to you are buried in hundreds of other calls, mostly to my wife
·       Jun 25 10:03 PM Sassy: Who can see your phone bill? Is it paper or online?
·       Jun 25 10:04 PM Kris: online. my son has access to it but I told him last week that I was taking him off because it was time for him to get his own plan, but he could access it now but there’s nothing incriminating on it
·       Jun 25 10:04 PM Sassy: Will it work for you to get all hurt, offended that they would think such things, etc?
·       Jun 25 10:05 PM Kris: no. screwed up too bad, starting with the bike, then the high speed chase the other night. my “story” is only believable if you’re an idiot, which no one in my family is.
·       Jun 25 10:06 PM Sassy: You can’t whine to them, say she is over-reacting?
·       Jun 25 10:06 PM Kris: no, they’re on her side now. I’m in the dog house and in deep shit.
·       Jun 25 10:06 PM Sassy: You had no idea the bike would be such a big deal, you will sell it… etc?
·       Jun 25 10:07 PM Kris: if I’m caught with you the bike becomes small potatoes.
·       Jun 25 10:07 PM Sassy: What worked last time to get you back in good graces?
·       Jun 25 10:08 PM Kris: it was different – the issue was my drinking. that’s not an issue now. I fixed that by stopping drinking, went to AA, went to marriage counseling.
·       Jun 25 10:08 PM Kris: now I’m just FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!
·       Jun 25 10:09 PM Sassy: Oh honey…
·       Jun 25 10:09 PM Kris: you’re sweet to call me that…
·       Jun 25 10:09 PM Kris: and I’m also a liar…
·       Jun 25 10:10 PM Kris: and a cheating betrayer of my marriage vows…
·       Jun 25 10:10 PM Sassy: Has anyone said that?
·       Jun 25 10:10 PM Kris: not yet.but I “feel it in the air”
·       Jun 25 10:10 PM Kris: my daughter’s text “HI Sassy girl” pretty much said it
·       Jun 25 10:12 PM Kris: imagine the reaction of devout, conservative Christians. all but one of my kids are in that camp. They will be hurt, angry, indignant, outraged, and completely take my wife’s side for betraying her in such a horrible way.
·       Jun 25 10:13 PM Sassy: How can they know you have done anything?
·       Jun 25 10:13 PM Kris: I don’t know. I’m wondering if my son could hack into my Yahoo email account or yahoo messenger somehow…
·       Jun 25 10:14 PM Kris: I deleted all the conversation history in this chat.
·       Jun 25 10:14 PM Sassy: Good
·       Jun 25 10:15 PM Kris: and I deleted all but the last two emails from you…and ones I sent you…did you read what I wrote today?
·       Jun 25 10:15 PM Sassy: Yes.
·       Jun 25 10:15 PM Kris: so I’ll delete those too…later
·       Jun 25 10:16 PM Sassy: Good. It has to be a constant thing, sadly, the deleting
·       Jun 25 10:16 PM Kris: I know…and I may close the accounts altogether and create new ones.
·       Jun 25 10:16 PM Sassy: Good
·       Jun 25 10:17 PM Sassy: Use a different browser also
·       Jun 25 10:17 PM Sassy: Not the one she uses
·       Jun 25 10:17 PM Kris: but first I need to find out what my wife is actually thinking…and what she knows, that she can prove .I’ll deny anything she can’t prove but if she has hard evidence? I’m screwed.
·       Jun 25 10:18 PM Kris: at least the cops aren’t here to escort me out tonight the way they did the last three times. LOL
·       Jun 25 10:19 PM Sassy: Would any of your kids tell you?
·       Jun 25 10:19 PM Kris: then it was always after a “domestic incident” when I was drunk and intimidated her somehow.
·       Jun 25 10:19 PM Kris: tell me what?
·       Jun 25 10:19 PM Sassy: What’s going on?
·       Jun 25 10:19 PM Kris: no…my son has definitely gone silent.
·       Jun 25 10:20 PM Kris: and one daughter said, “I don’t want to have anything to do with you until you tell mom the truth.” the one who texted: “HI Sassy girl.”
·       Jun 25 10:20 PM Sassy: Wow. Your family is very different from mine.
·       Jun 25 10:20 PM Kris: you think?
·       Jun 25 10:22 PM Sassy: So lay low… stay quiet. Even when they start talking.
·       Jun 25 10:22 PM Sassy: Listen hard.
·       Jun 25 10:23 PM Kris: no one’s talking to me so I’m listening hard to silence right now. but that won’t last. my guess is I’ll get a visit from “ambassadors representing my wife”. maybe someone from the church…not sure.
·       Jun 25 10:24 PM Sassy: Ugh. I can not imagine airing family stuff to other people
·       Jun 25 10:25 PM Kris: I told her I would be willing to go to marriage counseling but that she needed to contain who she talked to. but she fears that by saying that I’m trying to cut her off from support and manipulate her.
·       Jun 25 10:26 PM Kris: the senior pastor she talked to was actually very moderate and reasonable in his advice to her.
·       Jun 25 10:26 PM Sassy: You say you like danger… is it worth all this?
·       Jun 25 10:26 PM Sassy: Oh?
·       Jun 25 10:27 PM Kris: wait…go back to your question. is it worth all this…what do you mean?
·       Jun 25 10:27 PM Sassy: This seems like a bad time for you… I wonder if our good times and the rides on the bike etc. balance it out?
·       Jun 25 10:29 PM Kris: the bike is forgiveable and if I sold it that would go away eventually. An affair is on a completely different level. I don’t want to lose my wife and I never wanted to hurt her either. my plan was to have an affair. not get caught, not lose my wife.
·       Jun 25 10:30 PM Sassy: What did the minister say?
·       Jun 25 10:30 PM Kris: he knew about both the bike and the car chase.
·       Jun 25 10:31 PM Kris: he told her to take a step back. calm down and try to talk to me and see if we could work things out before doing anything drastic.
·       Jun 25 10:31 PM Sassy: That seems very fair.
·       Jun 25 10:31 PM Sassy: Why isn’t she doing that?
·       Jun 25 10:32 PM Sassy: What does she think happened with the car chase?
·       Jun 25 10:33 PM Kris: if it was only about the bike I think she would. but if someone’s been “whispering in her ear” or she has hard evidence that I’ve been having an affair…..she wouldn’t  be able to handle that alone. and I wouldn’t expect her to.  I told her we might not be able to resolve simpler things (like the bike or money in general) and if we came to a stalemate I’d be willing to go to marriage counseling but that she needed to stop talking to “just everyone”…including our kids.
·       Jun 25 10:34 PM Kris: she doesn’t know for sure…but she said she thought she saw someone in the truck and my whole story doesn’t make sense for the way I behaved (which it doesn’t).
·       Jun 25 10:34 PM Sassy: If there is some proof, can you say it’s over, you made a mistake, forgive me?
·       Jun 25 10:35 PM Kris: I would have to. if there was any hope to not end up divorced, but I don’t know if I would or keep trying to get away with it, after a while.
·       Jun 25 10:35 PM Sassy: Did you take the chair out of the closet?
·       Jun 25 10:36 PM Kris: no but I will right now. give me a sec .be right back…
·       Jun 25 10:36 PM Kris: back… chair is gone
·       Jun 25 10:37 PM Kris: hiding stuff is a full-time job
·       Jun 25 10:37 PM Sassy: Yes.
·       Jun 25 10:37 PM Sassy: How did the truck owner react?
·       Jun 25 10:39 PM Kris: not good but not “ballistic” – I’m paying a friend who’s a semi-retired, professional mechanic and auto body man for probably over 50 years to fix it good as new. will return it in better condition than I borrowed it. not sure what it will cost. guessing $400-500. called friend and he was thankful…returning truck to him tomorrow.
·       Jun 25 10:40 PM Sassy: phew
·       Jun 25 10:40 PM Kris: how does this effect how you feel about us?
·       Jun 25 10:41 PM Sassy: I feel like it should but it doesn’t
·       Jun 25 10:41 PM Kris: what do you mean?
·       Jun 25 10:41 PM Sassy: Are you worried I’ll run screaming?
·       Jun 25 10:41 PM Kris: no…you’re too unflappable
·       Jun 25 10:42 PM Kris: but everyone has their limits. I’ve worked hard to convince you I won’t put you at any risk. if you trust that, that’s most of what should concern you…I think.
·       Jun 25 10:43 PM Kris: if I get caught I know for a fact I will take 100% of the blame…and no one will be remotely interested in who you really are.
·       Jun 25 10:45 PM Sassy: Worry about you.
·       Jun 25 10:46 PM Kris: why?
·       Jun 25 10:46 PM Sassy: I appreciate your reassurances.
·       Jun 25 10:46 PM Kris: what do you mean “worry about you”?
·       Jun 25 10:47 PM Sassy: I worry about you. wish I could do more.
·       Jun 25 10:48 PM Kris: there’s nothing you can do…except what you’re doing. be someone to talk to and be here for me for now. don’t know what’s going to happen for sure…but having a serious feeling it’s not going to be good.
·       Jun 25 10:48 PM Sassy: Might be able to say it was just online flirting… nothing physical… depending on what they know
·       Jun 25 10:49 PM Kris: I’ll lie if I can get away with it…but I’m anticipating a “little game” of “who blinks first” in terms of people telling what they know or don’t know. do you know what I mean?
·       Jun 25 10:50 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Jun 25 10:51 PM Kris: when you say you feel like this should effect us but doesn’t…can you explain that a little more?
·        Jun 25 10:53 PM Sassy: In theory this is messy, not fun, inconvenient, maybe dangerous… a sensible woman might back away
·       Jun 25 10:53 PM Sassy: but I don’t feel like it
·       Jun 25 10:53 PM Sassy: Maybe because my marriage is open, not much risk except they could get nasty
·       Jun 25 10:54 PM Kris: who could get nasty?
·       Jun 25 10:54 PM Sassy: your family
·       Jun 25 10:55 PM Sassy: but I am not really thinking about that… more about you
·       Jun 25 10:55 PM Kris: no…they will NOT care who you are. it will be ALL on me. I know them well enough to say that with 100% confidence. I will sadly, voluntarily “cut you loose” in a second if I thought anyone would do anything vindictive directed at you…NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
·       Jun 25 10:56 PM Sassy: I have a feeling it will work out.
·       Jun 25 10:56 PM Sassy: There will be a rough patch here… but in a bit it will calm down
·       Jun 25 10:57 PM Sassy: You love her. She loves you. You want to be there. She needs you.
·       Jun 25 10:57 PM Sassy: You are human.
·       Jun 25 10:57 PM Sassy: She has forgiven you for worse. She will again?
·       Jun 25 10:57 PM Kris: hope so but you and I also now have some complicating factors. that does change things that we’ll need to deal with.
·       Jun 25 10:57 PM Sassy: Try very hard not to talk much.
·       Jun 25 10:58 PM Kris: ME? “TALK MUCH”? What on earth are you talking about?
·       Jun 25 10:58 PM Sassy: Apply your pro skills here.
·       Jun 25 10:59 PM Kris:  I may simply become “too much work” or “not available enough” or “too dangerous” for you.
·       Jun 25 10:59 PM Sassy: We’ll cross that bridge if we have to
·       Jun 25 10:59 PM Sassy: I haven’t seen Philip since Sept. 2011…
·       Jun 25 10:59 PM Sassy: I am still talking to him every day, listening to him…
·       Jun 25 11:00 PM Kris: that’s different. I know you like me but not like that.
·       Jun 25 11:01 PM Kris: not fishing, but it’s true.
·       Jun 25 11:02 PM Sassy: We have been very sloppy… if things calm down and you want to continue, we can be a lot more circumspect and still have fun
·       Jun 25 11:02 PM Kris: you haven’t been sloppy. how do you think I have?
·       Jun 25 11:03 PM Sassy: We have taken a lot of risks we don’t have to keep taking
·       Jun 25 11:04 PM Kris: like you staying at my house, which led to the “car chase”…and almost getting caught when she came home?
·       Jun 25 11:05 PM Sassy: Let’s not worry about us now. You worry about you and your wife and making peace.
·       Jun 25 11:05 PM Sassy: Lean on me. I’m here.
·       Jun 25 11:06 PM Sassy: You can think about a morning BJ when you need to .  : )
·       Jun 25 11:06 PM Kris: I appreciate that. I’m going to start having “little nightmares” jumping up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night not able to sleep. worrying about money. lack of her income. mind will be racing.
·        Jun 25 11:07 PM Kris: I don’t know, might get “shut down” altogether. although it would be the first time if it happened. since you’re BJs never failed to get me off.
·       Jun 25 11:07 PM Kris: the biggest stressor right now is not knowing…
·       Jun 25 11:08 PM Kris: what she really knows…what she’s thinking…
·       Jun 25 11:08 PM Kris: what she plans on doing…
·       Jun 25 11:08 PM Kris: my guess is a temporary separation with the goal of eventual reconciliation…
·       Jun 25 11:09 PM Kris: if she flat out divorced me right now…that would completely surprise me….after over 30 years of marriage.
·       Jun 25 11:10 PM Kris: and I HAVE been faithful to her for the last 25 years, until you. (though “faithful” and “unfaithful” don’t fit your “world view”).
·       Jun 25 11:11 PM Sassy: I can’t see how I am worth all this angst
·       Jun 25 11:12 PM Kris: I knew what the stakes were. I took the risk .if I have to pay for it that’s my decision, not yours. you’re not the cause of my angst, you’re the source of my “illicit, exciting pleasure”.
·       Jun 25 11:13 PM Kris: I went too far….with risk taking not necessary. liking danger is one thing – being stupid is another. need to be smarter.
·       Jun 25 11:15 PM Sassy: When are you supposed to see her? Tomorrow?
·       Jun 25 11:15 PM Sassy: If she is not at work, where is she?
·       Jun 25 11:17 PM Kris: don’t know. she might have quit…couldn’t handle the stress of her anxiety. or she could be working and asked the director to tell me I couldn’t visit but I doubt that. I think he wouldn’t want her working there under those conditions, since she would be a “liability” to him at that point. she was an idiot and told him some of what was going on.
·       Jun 25 11:18 PM Kris: she could be staying at a friend’s house, but I don’t know whose.
·       Jun 25 11:18 PM Kris: she was supposed to come home tomorrow night and return late Friday or early Saturday.
·       Jun 25 11:19 PM Kris: not happening now I’m 99.99% sure.
·       Jun 25 11:19 PM Kris: want to come over?
·       Jun 25 11:19 PM Sassy: You are so bad.
·       Jun 25 11:19 PM Kris: LOL
·       Jun 25 11:19 PM Sassy: I was wondering if you should come down here.
·       Jun 25 11:20 PM Sassy: Disappear.
·       Jun 25 11:20 PM Sassy: Probably not. Need to stick to the high ground.
·       Jun 25 11:20 PM Kris: I could do whatever I want, but my stress level is going to effect my libido. even your famous BJs may not be enough.
·       Jun 25 11:21 PM Kris: it doesn’t matter where I am. if I’m not with her…or she doesn’t want to be with me.
·       Jun 25 11:21 PM Sassy: It does matter.
·       Jun 25 11:21 PM Kris: at some point I might have to decide. can I keep doing this….or not? if I want to keep my wife.  but as you say, we’ll cross that bridge if we have to if/when we come to it.
·       Jun 25 11:22 PM Kris: why does it matter?
·       Jun 25 11:22 PM Sassy: You need to work on your “How can you THINK THAT?!”
·       Jun 25 11:22 PM Sassy: “I LOVE YOU! I’ve loved you for YEARS! I will always love you!”
·       Jun 25 11:24 PM Kris: Yes. and she’ll say you’ve cheated on me before and now you’ve just replace the craziness of your drinking with acting crazy sober. you’re a “dry drunk” who’s just as crazy as if you were drinking – buy a brand new bike and hide it, listen to loud rock music and dance around the house, grow your hair long, out late all the time with who knows who doing who know what. blah, blah, blah…
·        Jun 25 11:24 PM Sassy: Will she be better off with you or without you? Does she like being alone?
·       Jun 25 11:25 PM Kris: No….she can’t stand being alone but she might consider “replacing me”. but I doubt it.
·       Jun 25 11:26 PM Kris: but she can live separated from me for an extended period of time…if she feels “unsafe” or really hurt…as she does now.
·       Jun 25 11:26 PM Sassy: I don’t see how any of this makes her unsafe. I know women who are unsafe… she’s not in the same galaxy
·       Jun 25 11:27 PM Sassy: But you know her.
·       Jun 25 11:28 PM Sassy: I can’t believe all this woohaa over a motorcycle
·       Jun 25 11:28 PM Kris: emotionally unsafe because a man she thought would always tell her the truth, be sexually faithful to her, love her…has lied to her, been sexually unfaithful to her. not acted in a way that real love acts. that’s in a world that’s not so “unreal”. right or wrong it’s the world most people live in…which is proven by how hard people who have affairs have to work to hide them (who are not in open marriages like you).
·       Jun 25 11:29 PM Kris: if old flame told you the truth about women he was with, you might have been a little hurt…but what hurts more is being lied to…right?
·       Jun 25 11:30 PM Sassy: So you made a mistake. You are very sorry. Why is she at Defcon5 over it?
·       Jun 25 11:31 PM Sassy: Why is she betraying your confidences to the entire family, church and probably the convenience store clerk?
·       Jun 25 11:31 PM Kris: You make me laugh.  I think you pretend to not understand other people just to make the point that you violently disagree with the world they’ve created…that you disagree with. so you make me laugh…
·       Jun 25 11:32 PM Sassy: I was totally horrified by her on Sunday. I wouldn’t stay with someone who yelled at me that way. They could do it exactly once.
·       Jun 25 11:32 PM Kris: I’m laughing again…
·       Jun 25 11:33 PM Sassy: I mean it. I am shocked that you put up with that. Totally disrespectful, mean…
·       Jun 25 11:33 PM Kris: I’m not so calm myself. always nice to you…but give it right back to her…in ways I wouldn’t with you…mainly because you don’t give me any reason to even think about it (plus I still want a BJ). LOL
·       Jun 25 11:34 PM Sassy: I so should not have said any of that. I need to stay out of the middle of this, just be on your side.
·       Jun 25 11:35 PM Kris: I don’t mind. I think it’s amazing you even are willing to invest any time in any of this at all, since you basically just want a good fucking every now and then (which you’re still waiting for).
·       Jun 25 11:35 PM Kris: do I owe you another quarter?
·       Jun 25 11:36 PM Sassy: Does crying work?
·       Jun 25 11:36 PM Kris: ME crying?
·       Jun 25 11:38 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Jun 25 11:38 PM Kris: you mean to elicit sympathy from my wife?
·       Jun 25 11:38 PM Sassy: You may have to break out the big weapons here
·       Jun 25 11:38 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Jun 25 11:39 PM Sassy: Silence. Crying.
·       Jun 25 11:39 PM Sassy: Looking shocked, hurt and offended
·       Jun 25 11:39 PM Kris: omg…it’s never happened…ever. I’m either pissed off or scared and quiet. I don’t do “crying”. she would NEVER believe that and there’s no way I feel like it. I feel genuinely sorry for things, but don’t cry much. very rare…..couldn’t fake it.
·       Jun 25 11:40 PM Kris: no, that would be too much…just quiet denial and lying is as much as I can muster…”stories” I hope she’ll believe…
·       Jun 25 11:40 PM Sassy: You need to react like a wronged man, accused unfairfy
·       Jun 25 11:41 PM Kris: I did a little…but you can “over play” that hand so that it’s obvious…and I need to know what hard evidence she has first.
·       Jun 25 11:41 PM Sassy: RIght
·       Jun 25 11:41 PM Sassy: “Why would you think that?!”
·       Jun 25 11:42 PM Kris: it’s like in MacBeth: “Thou dost protest too much…” familiar with that line?
·       Jun 25 11:42 PM Sassy: Sure
·       Jun 25 11:43 PM
Kris: so no…loud protesting is in itself “suspect” and telling of guilt
·       Jun 25 11:43 PM Sassy: Not loud protesting. Quiet. Shocked looking. About to cry.
·       Jun 25 11:43 PM Kris: can’t do it.
·       Jun 25 11:44 PM Kris: I can deny and lie but not cry.
·       Jun 25 11:44 PM Sassy: It will get them to tell you what they think they know
·       Jun 25 11:45 PM Kris: I’ll do it by asking questions, not faking crying. I’ll say things like, “what are you accusing me of and why? I know it was wrong to buy a bike and hide it for two months but now you’re jumping to all kinds of conclusions about all kinds of other things for no reason” blah, blah, blah….
·       Jun 25 11:46 PM Kris: I’ll keep pressing it…”playing dumb” trying to get it out of them that way.
·       Jun 25 11:47 PM Kris: for example…I know for a fact that my son forwarded the text that was supposed to go to you to my daughter… but I won’t say anything. although if they’re talking to each other (which they probably are) they know I’m smart enough to figure that one out. not exactly “rocket science”…..
·       Jun 25 11:48 PM Kris: I’m sorry you have to engage me in this ridiculously stressful conversation. not what you signed up for.
·       Jun 25 11:49 PM Sassy: Don’t worry about that… I like helping you if I can
·       Jun 25 11:49 PM Sassy: Maybe I’ll learn something!
·       Jun 25 11:49 PM Sassy: And I want things to calm down
·       Jun 25 11:50 PM Kris: omg….you just keep making me laugh. “learn something”? you’re a riot. maybe you don’t undestand my weird sense of humor. are you catching on?
·       Jun 25 11:51 PM Sassy: to what?
·       Jun 25 11:51 PM Kris: my weird sense of humor.
·       Jun 25 11:51 PM Sassy: Glad you can laugh.
·       Jun 25 11:52 PM Sassy: Can you sleep? You’re going to need your wits about you.
·       Jun 25 11:52 PM Kris: probably not well but it’s getting late. should probably let you go. you’re great comfort. thank you.
·       Jun 25 11:52 PM Sassy: You are most welcome. I’m on the edge of my chair wondering what will happen.
·       Jun 25 11:53 PM Kris: you’ll find out soon enough I suspect. nite sweet Sassy. Mwah!
·       Jun 25 11:55 PM Sassy: Mwah!
by

Spelling Discreet

Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Me: Good morning! Remember – no matter what anyone says – I think You’re a good man! 7:53 AM
Kris: Thank you, means a lot. Hope things settle down and we can push the “resume” button soon. Hope your first day back is a good one (or at a minimum…not a bad one). 8:04 AM
Me: Good to know you still want me. 8:07 AM
Kris: Why wouldn’t I? Need to put out some fires and be much more “discreet” and careful going forward. U didn’t do anything wrong. I’m a grown up – taking risks I choose to. If it weren’t u it MIGHT be someone else. I say “might” because skinny old Santas aren’t exactly a “hot commodity” in the EMR world (sorry, no quarters for just telling the simple truth. 😉 8:15 AM
Me: Hmmm… I get wet when you spell discreet correctly! 8:29 AM
Kris: You’re so funny! 8:39 AM
Me: And I taste good too! 9:49 AM
Kris: I’m buying a truck from a friend to pull the boat – we can go all the time now. Let’s go to Lake W next. When u wanna go? REALLY naughty Spanky. 😉 9:53 AM 
Me: Wow! What kind of truck? 9:56 AM
Kris: like first one we used…but with extended cab in back for passengers. Smaller than truck we just used, but big enough to pull boat. and he’s willing to finance it… 300/month with interest. Wheelin’ Dealin’ Kris. (EVIL GRIN!) 10:07 AM
Kris: And you DO taste good. v-juice especially yummy – always sweet and clean. mmmmmm! 10:24 AM
Me: Awww… thanks! You taste delicious also… your lips, your ears, nipples, hip, and that amazing cock! 10:29 AM
Kris: Ditto…(minus cock, thank God! not “bi”) lol! 10:33 AM
Me: Have you ever had a man-crush? 10:40 AM
Kris: NOOOOO!!!! Women ONLY…and plan to keep it that way! 3 holes are better than two (yuck). Nuthin gainst gays…but the thought of being with a guy is yucky to any straight guy. Anyone tells u different is lying…don’t care how “liberal” they may be. 10:51 AM
Me: I had a girl crush, tried to act on it but didn’t find it appealing in reality. I hope someday, gender won’t matter… you’ll look at the whole person and not their equipment. I know that’s radical. 10:53 AM
Kris: Exactly! People talk…imagine, but actually DOING? whole other ball game. (Remember when u asked if I was just a “chaser”? SURE! TO CATCH!) I like DIFFERENT…. including male versus female! Not trading big luscious Sassy tits for some guy’s ANYTHING (yuck!). Straight Spanky 11:18 AM
Me: But when I was in a foursome, I had to let go of keeping track of whose hand or whose mouth, just enjoy! 12:13 PM
Kris: You were young and didn’t know any better… 😉 12:15 PM
Me: I like you. 12:17 PM
Kris: Or if u didn’t know who it was…u could do what u do with me – pretend it was whoever u wanted it to ne! Brat Kris. ;)12:18 PM
Me: Do you do that with me? 12:21 PM
Kris: Omg…really? pee with the door open? 12:26 PM
Me: Thinking of you… hope you’re having a calm evening. 10:57 PM
=====
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2014 11:06 PM
Subject: Birthday wishes
Hiya Kris!
I was looking over your list of requests for your birthday.  We did pretty well! 
‎ 1) Spend the nite with me at my house
Yes
 2) Let me take you for a short, gentle ride on a quiet country road when you spend the nite with me at my house
No
‎ 3) Have lunch with you and your mom
Yes.  You charmed her!  It went so well!   
 4) Buy me that coffee cup you sent me a picture of
Two! 
5) Show me where you work
Still to do. Will keep an eye out for the right moment. 
‎ 6) Invite me to a project sometime
Nothing until late August, so yes but not for your birthday 
 7) Go boating and to your fav places around Gloucester–combined with spending the nite with me at my house
This was such a wonderful trip!  
 8) Tell me a restaurant you haven’t tried yet….that we could go to together
Sure.  Thinking about where… I would like to go back to Finale for their food.  I was impressed by them! 
 9) Give me a BJ in my boat (random request–based on “inspiration from your chat buddies”)
Hmm…. tricky but I am game!  You need to stop somewhere!  
10) Have 20 orgasms the next time we have sex
We’ll see.  🙂  I lose track at about 9, so you’d have to count. 🙂
So… lots of fun, still some fun ones “to do!” 
5) Show me where you work
6) Invite me to a project event sometime
8) Tell me a restaurant you haven’t tried yet…
10) Have 20 orgasms the next time we have sex
Thank you ever so much for letting me celebrate with you! 
-S
=====
Kris: I’ve been thinking of you too…all day. Worked late, then had to bring truck to be repaired, then to shed to get bike. Just got home. Wanted to chat. Wanted to answer last question you asked (well, not really but will…cuz we have a ” deal” and you’re “unflappable”). 😉 
11:29 PM
by

Scarlet letters

Monday, June 23, 2014
Me: Good morning hot stuff! 8:39 AM
Kris: Good morning! 9:23 AM
Kris: Have some fun for me today. mine is fun-filled with text threats, bitching, fighting.(I know u can’t imagine why). ANOTHER way you’re “different”. 😉 1:53 PM
Me: I am thinking of you, sending sweet, calming vibes! At the bank with Mom! Mwah! 2:03 PM
Kris: Thanks! Oh…here’s a random thought that fits right in with your current “mundane” 😉 activities – getting an occasional bj isn’t different. getting good ones so regularly with someone who seems to LIKE giving them IS! 🙂 2:06 PM
Kris: B sure to tell the truth when mom asks what you’re giggling at. “good girl”. Alfalfa 2:07 PM
Me: Now we’re eating Taiwanese food! Wish you were sitting opposite us! 2:27 PM
Me: Having fun at Walgreens now! Looking at band aids, hoping your head is okay. 3:08 PM
Kris: You’re getting bad as me…with minute by minute “mundane” updates…but love it. head’s ok – long shallow scrape – took bandaid off. just adds to decorations on Santa’s chrome dome (people r so complimentary lately…can hardly stand it). ;). !!! 4:24 PM
Me: Part of me says I should be quiet, let you focus on other things. Other part wants you to know I’m thinking of you, wishing you well, maybe make you smilie! 4:27 PM
Kris: I’m ok….dealing….don’t need to be quiet….or give me more than usual (wonderful!). I’ll let u know if i need something special or different. But for now just be your usual “Sassy Self”. Including not replying right away to every text–especially from work (sorry for reminding). Enjoy rest of day! 4:35 PM
Me: Looking at the photos from yesterday… so many good views! Feel so lucky to have seen Wingaersheek from the other side! 5:23 PM
Kris: Glad you enjoyed! Happy to give u at least SOME kind of pleasure! (Pay u a quarter later.). 😉 5:29 PM
Me: I’m headed out to the “intersection with fast food.” Picking up crap from KFC, then taco Bell, then Wendy’s!” Whee! 7:56 PM
Kris: Last message may be too long, may need to email. Ends in: “(And YOU can FUCK me ANY TIME YOU LIKE!!!).”. IF you didn’t’ get it let me know. I’ll email it. “Highly-entertaining”. Mwah! 8:27 PM
Me: Back with lots of bad food! I didn’t get your long message but it sounds intriguing! 8:48 PM
======
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 9:16 PM
Subject: Infidelity essay
Here’s that essay I mentioned.  
[from the blog “Prowling with Kat” http://prowlingwithkat.com/infidelity/]
Infidelity
———-
I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lately.  Unfaithfulness. Infidelity.
Essentially, it means not keeping your promise, and it has come to be used almost exclusively with the act of not maintaining sexual fidelity.
Marriages split up because one spouse had sex with someone outside the marriage. It has come to the point where it is almost the single most valued thing in a marriage. “I can put up with anything as long as he doesn’t cheat on me.”  Really?
I’ve been told many times that if I’m going to cheat, I should just end it, as if sexual fidelity is all there is and if you don’t have that you have nothing. That’s just bullshit.
A long term marriage is a very complicated thing. It involves being with someone day in and day out, often while raising children, and doing your best to support, not squash, each other’s hopes and dreams.  It involves sickness and puke and seeing your partner in the most physically unattractive ways and still trying to maintain a sexual attraction. It involves a massive amount of forgiveness and humility. And love. Especially love.
I’ve shared with you before that my marriage vows were rather unconventional and didn’t include most of the typical language of marriage vows, but the point was the same. I promised to be his partner in life, no matter what. That’s it in a nutshell. I promised that nothing would ever make me walk away from him. Nothing means nothing. I promised to be in it for the long haul – in sickness, health, good times, bad times.While our vows didn’t include a sexual fidelity component, most do, and it was pretty much understood in ours.  We just didn’t say it.
The core of my commitment – and his – was that we would stay together no matter what. I would consider my husband truly unfaithful if he walked way from the marriage.  Anything short of that may fall under the “sickness, worst of times, or poorer” part, but it’s certainly not cause to leave the marriage.
A word to my divorced friends….I’m not judging you.  To make a long term marriage work,both people must be fully committed and do their part to make the marriage work. If one party has checked out there’s often nothing the other can do.
For those of you thinking, “What about abusive relationships?” I’ll admit that my “no matter what” promise has two conditions – physically abusing me or abusing our children in ANY way. In those cases, I would leave immediately, but I can’t say what would happen in the long run.  I’ve seen many families recover from such awful situations.  Each has to judge for him/herself.
But I digress…..again.  What I’m trying to say is that sexual infidelity does not erase years of fidelity to all the other promises. My husband has been with many other women during our marriage, and I didn’t know about it until fairly recently. Should that outweigh everything he’s done to honor our marriage over the past 27 years? Of course not. He’s been my partner through thick and thin for a long, long time.  He’s the father of my children.  So what if he likes to fuck younger women?  If it were a problem for me, we’d have to deal with that, but if it were so much of a problem that I’d throw everything away because of it, I’d be an idiot.
The opposite is also true.  If he was so twisted up over me having sexual encounters with other men that he couldn’t see all the good in our relationship, he’d be an idiot.  But he can see beyond it.  He doesn’t like it, and it was very upsetting for him when he first discovered it, but it’s not going to destroy the marriage. Our marriage is about much, much more than sex. Most married couples understand that, but then they turn bat shit crazy over a single incident of cheating. It’s illogical and shortsighted.
Let’s look at it from another angle. If a marriage is reasonably good in most respects (or even if it isn’t right now, but you believe in staying together no matter what), but the sex life is dead and there is nothing you can do to revive it, is it so bad to have those needs met elsewhere?  Obviously, I don’t think so, but I am aware that I am in a minority. Does it make any sense at all to let sexual dysfunction or the lack of marital sex cause the downfall of the whole relationship?  Not to me.
I’m not saying that all marriages should be open relationships, but it’s silly to let lack of sex poison things. It’s just one piece of the marital relationship, after all.
Yes, I do think that the best case scenario is to have a healthy intimacy with your spouse that includes an awesome and ever-exciting sex life. If you’ve been married over 20 years and you have that and neither of you has cheated, God bless you. You have life’s golden ticket.  Don’t take it for granted.
If you’re unmarried, or if you’ve been married for less than 18-20 years, you need to stop pushing morality that you can’t possibly understand onto other people. I often wonder how many marriages split up because one spouse cheats and the other is pushed and prodded into divorce by well meaning friends and family members who don’t truly understand the value of a long term loving, albeit imperfect, relationship with another human being.
Too often, we try to make very complex things simpler by narrowing them down to a few simple rules. That’s what has happened with marriage and infidelity. Unfortunately, no matter how much you try to make it simpler, marriage isn’t so easily “managed,” neither is anything truly valuable in life.
If someone were to ask me if my husband has been faithful to me over these past 27 years, my answer would be, “In almost every way, and certainly in all the ways that really matter. I’m a very fortunate woman.” His answer would be the same.
=====
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 9:49 PM
Re: Infidelity essay
Hi Sassy,
Interesting essay. Agree with some parts–not all.  Think there’s a little “rationalizing” in there at points–but get it in general. 
Here’s what I wrote in a text to you earlier tonight (that was too long to be delivered apparently):
Wife texted that she “wants to talk” which means she’s still highly pissed but may be slowly calming down.  She has talked to kids to get them on her side, has talked to people she works with (cuz she’s a “boundary-less”, senseless idiot when she’s either highly-anxious or very enraged–which right now she’s both–at different times), has talked to numerous friends, has talked to the senior pastor of the church we attend…because I bought a bike! Whee. 🙂 what fun!   
Why don’t we just bring back public humiliation in the town square?  Instead of a scarlet letter “A” (which would also actually fit me), I’d wear the scarlet letters “LB-HD” (“lying, bike-hiding deceiver”).  Small children walking by with their mothers could deride me and throw things at me.  Their mothers could use me as an object lesson to scare them into behaving. “See that man over there, Johnny?  If you don’t want to end up like him you’d better always tell the truth and never lie or hide anything.” LOL!!!!   This may sound bizarre to you–sweet, gentle, respectful “Sassy”–but her saying she “wants to talk” means the beginning of negotiating peace.  
(I hear you humming with lusty pleasure as you chomp on that fast food! LOL!)   I’m back on black coffee–AND MY BIKE!   FUCK ‘EM IF THEY CAN’T TAKE A JOKE!  (And YOU can FUCK me ANYTIME YOU LIKE!)
Well, I  thought the above was funny.  You may not.  I’ve got a twisted sense of humor.
Anyhow—I think I need to take your advice and close this Yahoo email address and Yahoo messenger– and open some under new names.  Any advice about how to do it so that no traces are left anywhere?
Crazy Kris  
=====
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 11:04 PM
Subject: Re: Infidelity essay
Hiya Kris! 
Thank you for writing.  It is fascinating to see inside your head for awhile.  I do get the humor and the sadness and your free spirit! 
Reading that infidelity post helps crystalize what I think in which parts I agree or disagree.  And know that I am not alone in dealing with these issues. 
I’m so glad your W is ready to talk and there might be some peace for you. I hope you can have a productive talk… that she might listen, or give you clues on how to resolve it.  I think you have a right to complain about her blabbing to everyone.  I am surprised she would want everyone to know she is married to an ass (in her opinion).  I’ve gotten more and more private as I get older.  I can not imagine bitching about Hubby to my family. They already think poorly of him.  Don’t want to exacerbate the situation.  I consider keeping his secrets to be one of my main wifely duties!  Hubby’s trick is to mouth off on Facebook.  I told him once not to do that with our personal business, when he posted something way too private about my breast cancer treatment, and he has not done it again. 
Do you like going to church? I’d certainly consider it a good excuse never to go back if she told the senior pastor that you… OMG… bought
a motorcycle!!  What was the pastor’s advice, I wonder?  
Thank you again for not confessing, for not outing me.  The wisdom in the EMR world is “Deny, deny, deny.”  The less said the better?
Here’s a link to an article on getting rid of a Yahoo account.  If it were me, I’d 
1) Set up a new one.  
2) Forward anything you want to keep (not much) to it.  
3) Delete the emails in the inbox, drafts, sent messages, any folders.  
4) Delete all the chats. 
5) Then all the trash. 
6) Do what it says here –
You may want to consider other free email services such as Gmail, hotmail, etc. if she is using Yahoo so your logins don’t mingle with hers.  
Another thing we might do is to share an account and leave messages in the drafts folder, just text a code word when there is a new one to read, then delete them at regular intervals.  No inbox or sent mail or contacts to be found. 
Just tossing out ideas… I can help with whatever appeals.  I would assume she is going to get on your computer and your phone the first chance she gets – clean them up!  Don’t leave them logged on, unguarded when you are say… in the shower or bathroom.  
I’d better get to bed. Take care dear man.  Your different gal is here waiting.
-S

by

Meet #16 WTF x 11

Sunday, June 22, 2014
Okay.  Well.  See… it started off well.  This is what the Chinese would call… “an interesting day.” 
A. The 4 am man
I was dreaming a very sweet sexy dream and some nice man was rubbing my breast above the nipple and I suddenly realized it was not a dream!  Kris was wedging himself under me, already  hard and ready to plunge inside me!  I glanced at the clock radio… 4:03 am.  Wow… he is really living his fantasy!  He slowly filled me, groping my breast and kissing my shoulder as he pumped in and out.  Mmm…. I enjoyed this way to wake up!  He came hard pretty quickly then drifted off to sleep again.  I watched him sleep.  He was smiling. 
A1. The wake-up BJ
I woke Kris up the right way with a Sassy blow job!  He said he’s usually not a morning sex person, because he is distracted about whatever he has to do that day and anxious to get going, but I managed to wake him up gently, touching him under the covers until he was conscious, then sucking him down my throat until he forgot to worry about what he had to do today.  He came hard!  
B. The boat 
He said the one danger point was about 10:45 am because his wife was leaving work to go to church and might swing by their house afterwards.  So we have to leave by 10:30 am.  He went out about 10 am to check on the boat.  It wouldn’t start!  WTF?  So he drove to church to get the jump cables out of his wife’s car.  But they weren’t there.  So he went to the neighbors to borrow theirs.  And got back at 10:40 am.  
C. The closet
Two minutes later, I was sitting in the dining room on my computer when he yelled, “GET TO THE CLOSET!”  WTF?
I grabbed all my stuff – computer, bag, hat, purse, and ran upstairs and squeezed myself into the back of the closet and shut the door.  I texted with a chat friend and tried not to sneeze. I also texted Philip, who was driving and laughing his ass off at me.  
D. The banshee
I listened to her scream at him for ten minutes solid.  WTF?  I know I am odd that Hubby and I don’t fight, but it was bizarre to hear her rail at him on and on… he’s got to sell that fucking motorcycle, why did he move the table on the porch, he has to get a haircut! If he lied to her about the motorcycle, what else is he capable of?  Is he drinking again?  Is he having an affair?  *sigh  
Luckily he led her outside to look at their garden after about 10 minutes, and she only stayed about 20 minutes.  He came up to the closet to tell me she was gone.  I half wanted to laugh and half cry.  
We talked quietly, waiting for the adrenaline rush to subside.  The worst moment came when he asked me if I was okay and I told him it was very hard to listen to her yell at him.  And he said… “Was she yelling?  I didn’t notice.”  *sigh  You know what that means?  It’s normal.  So routine that he doesn’t notice.  No wonder he finds me so different.  *sigh
He gave me a hand out of the closet and I gave him a big hug.  We headed out on our adventure. 
E. The propeller
So he drove the truck and the boat to the boat launch in Essex.  He unhooked it from the truck and… managed to gouge his head on the propeller!  A 4-inch scrape!  WTF?  
He borrowed band aids from another boat, and I made a bandage out of a paper towel and patched him up!  He said it didn’t hurt.  I worried about it getting infected.  He put his baseball cap over it and no one was the wiser. 
F. The trailer 
When he launched the boat into the river, the wooden runners that hold it on the trailer came off with it!  He wouldn’t be able to get the boat back out.  WTF? 
He chatted with a couple people along the docks, and ended up taking the trailed to the marina next door.  I sat in the boat at the dock, wondering if he’d be able to get help and how long it would take and whether this day was cursed!  Would we ever get away down river? 
He returned very quickly!  He said a guy at the marina stopped working on his boat, put on new runners and didn’t charge him!  He was back in 15 minutes! 
G. The beautiful water 
We had a marvelous five-hour adventure on the water!   We went down the Essex River, out into the ocean, along Wingaersheek Beach were I walked last week, down the Annisquam River and into Gloucester Harbor!  It is so wonderful to see places from the water side that I’ve been on land, ogle the boats and people and scenery… munch on grapes and sandwiches… and relax.  He takes such good care of me!  
Here are my 35 photos. Pop over to Google Plus to look. https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/101174762249697322833/albums/6027979900927526257
Here’s my favorite: 
The Annisquam lighthouse you can see
 from Wingaersheek Beach, Gloucester MA
H. Dinner 
We got back just as the sun set.  He hauled the boat out, covered it and drove over to the famous Woodman’s seafood restaurant.  They invented fried clams.  There’s usually a big line but there were only about 6 people ahead of us to order from the counter.  We shared a clam chowder, clam cakes and a fisherman’s fried platter of shrimp, scallops, clams and fish with onion rings.  I was not impressed but it was okay.  He left the table for 10 minutes while I waited for the food, so his wife could scream at him on the phone.  He looked defeated when he returned, picked at the food.  I held his hand and he smiled. 
I. The chase
We drove back to his house and… his wife was there.  He parked about 100 feet past the driveway to figure out what to do.  Of course, at that moment, she drove out.  I ducked down.  He took off.  She followed us, honking her horn and flashing her lights.  She finally pulled up beside him and screamed for him to pullover.  He turned off onto the highway going 80 mph and she didn’t follow.  I have never wanted to be invisible so hard in my life.  WF?!
J. The refuge 
He dropped me off at an Applebee’s at 11 pm.  They’re open until midnight.  I sat texting a chat friend and Philip, pretending to eat a pasta dish, wondering what I’d do if Kris couldn’t get back to get me. I wondered what was going on at his house.  Would I ever see him again? 
The young male waiter was very kind to me, told me I could stay until 1 am while they cleaned and closed up if need be.  I ordered a tiny dessert parfait.  Chocolate is a comfort!  The waiter sat and talked to me for awhile.  I left him a big tip.  
At 11:55 pm, Kris texted that he was on his way!  
Kris: Coming to get you 11:55 PM
Me: Yay! 11:56 PM
Kris: Be there in 15 minutes…hang tight….might have to wait out front 12:00 AM
Me: They will let me sit here until 12:30ish, so no worries 12:01 AM
He appeared at 12:30 am.  I met him in the parking lot.  He got out to show me the back of the truck. 
K. The tailgate
Something had happened to the tailgate of the truck he had borrowed to tow the boat!  He couldn’t figure it out – it looked like a tree had fallen on the top – big gash and now the tailgate wouldn’t close.  WTF?!  
He was mystified.  I wondered if the boat had hit it.  Or his wife’s car.  He said he knows how to find parts at a junkyard and replace it.  Just one more WTF, bad luck moment. 
L. The locked gate
Kris brought my stuff from his house.  I confirmed that going home was the best idea if he could stay awake to drive.  We went to park the truck and get his car at the storage facility.  The 12-foot high entrance fence gate was malfunctioning, so he had to climb over it to open the gate.  WTF?!  By this point, I was hardly surprised. 
M. Heading home 
So we left NH at 1:05 am, got to my place at 2:10 am.  Whee!  He was quiet for awhile, then I made him laugh and he told me about his wife calling him to scream and telling her lies. I suggested he be very good for awhile – focus on her, be where he is supposed to be, do things to get on her good side.  I also suggested he clean up his electronic life – delete all my texts, ditch his AM account and Yahoo mischief email, clear his bookmarks.  
N. The stranger 
As we rode along, I got a series of odd texts on Sassy’s Google Voice number from a CA number, from someone named James.  I don’t know anyone in CA named James. I realized it was a stranger visiting Boston.  He said a guy in a bar gave him my number!  WTF?! WHO IS GIVING OUT SASSY’s Google voice number?!  He told me a first name that could be one of three AM men I’ve met.  Ugh. I wonder if he gave it to anyone else? Argh.  
Unknown: hey gurl 1:58 AM
Unknown: What time is it 1:59 AM
Me: Hiya. What’s up? 1:59 AM
Me: 2 am 1:59 AM
Unknown: heard good things. wanna meet up for a soda. 2:00 AM
Me: Good things? 2:01 AM
Unknown: you know it. that’s why I’m txtin! 2:02 AM
Unknown: how’s all this work. good friend referred me. 2:02 AM
Me: oh? 2:03 AM
Unknown: sassy girl right? 2:03 AM
Unknown: sorry it’s late. been up since 4AM yesterday 2:04 AM
Me: Who sent you? 2:05 AM
Unknown: Steven I think. I’ve had a bit, I town for work and was having drinks at cheers and the guy next to me gave me your # 2:08 AM
Unknown: older guy 2:08 AM
Unknown: local 2:08 AM
Me: Sadly I’m off the circuit these days but thanks for reaching out! Best of luck! 2:09 AM
Unknown: I’ll be at the commonwealth all week 2:10 AM
Unknown: ahh. okay, thank you. 2:10 AM
Unknown: Text me if things change 2:10 AM
Unknown: got another number for me? 2:20 AM
O. Hubby’s gf
I lugged my bags inside, set them on my desk and heard Hubby’s voice in the bedroom say, “You’re home?”  
“Yes…there was an episode with his wife so he brought me home,” I explained.    
“Well, my girlfriend is here. I should’ve told you she was coming over.”  
WTF?! 
“Oh!  So sorry… I should’ve told you I was on my way home.”  
I sank down into the chair at my desk and put my head in my hands.  There was some whispering, then he said he would take her home. I apologized to them both, and he apologized to me and… oh well!  Will this day never end?  I texted Kris. 
=====
Me: Just to top off this wild day – Hubby’s gf is here! 2:07 AM
Kris: Oops! 2:09 AM
Kris: Do u want to return to my house with me?  I’m not too far up the road…or had enough adventure for one day? 😉 2:13 AM
Me: Ha ha. Thanks but no. He took her home. 2:15 AM
Kris: Night! Mwah! 2:16 AM
Me: Oh – and those texts were from a businessman, a stranger, said some guy in a bar gave him my number. Eep! That’s new and scary! 2:16 AM
Kris: That IS strange! 2:22 AM
=====
P. Sleep 
I collapsed into bed at 3 am.  Hubby got back.  I thanked him, told him I’d explain tomorrow.
=====

So let’s recap the ELEVEN BIZARRE THINGS that happened today: 
  1. The boat wouldn’t start
  2. Hiding in a closet 
  3. Listening to his wife scream at him 
  4. He gashed his head on a propeller 
  5. His boat trailer broke 
  6. A high speed chase with his wife which may signal the end of us
  7. Having to hang out at a restaurant alone, an hour from home, after it closed 
  8. The borrowed truck getting crunched
  9. The locked gate
  10. Strange texts because some guy gave out my phone number
  11. Hubby’s gf at our place
My list goes to 11!  HA!  Move over David Letterman… I’m into Spinal Tap territory!

I can’t believe all that happened on the same day.  That is the most bizarre part.  WTF? Any ONE of these would’ve made for a strange day but no… ELEVEN!  ELEVEN?  Yes… ELEVEN BIZARRE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!

And yet… we bounced back.  We soldiered on.  We had a lovely sexy time waking up and a fantastic time on the water in his boat and I got to try a new restaurant.  And… wow.  Just… wow.  There were some beautiful memories mixed with the horrific ones.   
Please don’t let me ever have another bizarre day like this one!
by

Meet #15 Lunch with Mom and his bed

Saturday, June 21, 2014 
Me: Good morning hot stuff! Happy Birthday! Up for some more firsts?! Mwah mwah mwah! 8:15 AM
Kris: Absolutely! W on war path but she’s stuck where she is, which pisses her off further. May have to b on phone with her a bit more than usual…if she doesn’t hang up which she did once this morning already. don’t want it to spoil our time but need to do some damage control. Thanks for “Happy B-Day”! 11:30 still good time? 8:31 AM
Me: 11:30 is good. May need to take Mom to bank first and it closes at 12:30 pm. I’m saving extra hugs for you. 8:36 AM
Kris: Thanks! 8:37 AM
Kris: After dropping a zillion nasty text bombs on me and refusing to answer phone (scared me)…W finally did. Starting to calm down. I may need to continue being “super nice and very available H” to maintain fire control. U can handle it…unflappable as u are. ;). Alfalfa (in pretty deep doo doo) 😉 9:10 AM
Me: Oh dear… not the best way to start your birthday! I hope I can make the rest of the day better! 9:52 AM
Kris: YOU WILL…FOR SURE!!!!! 9:55 AM
Kris: Don’t forget to bring your laptop…wouldn’t want u to miss anything. plus, unfortunately part of time I need to work – didn’t get everything done yesterday 10:20 AM
Kris: Insert wink after “anything” in previous text. ;). Spanky 10:21 AM
Kris: On my way eta 12. had to drop off something for W. keep peace. sorry 11:15 AM
Me: I’m all set – will see you out front 11:34 AM
Kris: K 11:35 AM
Kris: Here! 11:58 AM
Me: Omw 11:59 AM
Kris: What? 12:00 PM
Kris: I’m at parking lot entrance…..where meet? 12:01 PM
=====
Kris talked me into doing two wild things today: 
1) He went to lunch with mom and me!  
He picked me up at noon and drove me to her place.  He got out to meet her.  I said, “This is my friend, Kris.  Meet my mother, [her name].”  They shook hands and he helped her into his car.  We went to The Ninety-Nine Restaurant in Woburn.  He had dressed up – dress shirt, khaki dress pants, a black sweater – and was very polite.  I sat next to Mom and he sat across from us in a booth beside a window.  She didn’t ask anything about how we met.  Phew! 
He charmed her!  He told her things I didn’t know!  I was astonished he had not told me some of it before.  She was in good form.  She must’ve liked him – she told him “secrets” about me while I was in the bathroom, to make me look better to him, like the fact that I was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa in college.  Heh.  She paid for lunch. 
2) I went to his house in NH!  
We dropped Mom off and headed up to NH.  We stopped for him to change clothes at the Panera in Burlington, then stopped to get gas, then went to get the truck that will pull the boat tomorrow.  We made a grocery list as we drove along – I typed it into my gmail.  
Grocery list
Hamburger
Corn on the cob
Rolls
Tomato
Cucumber
Baby carrots
Hidden Valley Ranch salad dressing
Sliced Turkey
Swiss cheese slices
Bread
Water bottles
Fruit-Watermelon
Apples
Grapes
Plums
Chips
Paper towels
OJ gallon
Great Value D Calcium
We went to Walmart to stock up on groceries for dinner and lunch tomorrow on the boat.  
We stopped at TJ Maxx so he could get new swim trunks.  He’s lost a lot of weight since last summer! 
We went to his place!  He has a lovely modern home, surrounded by woods with a big open field.  I shared a pear with him.  I helped get supper ready – shucked corn, sliced cucumbers and tomatoes, put dishes in the dishwasher and washed some pots.  We had cheeseburgers he grilled outside with tomatoes, cucumbers,and corn on the cob.  We ate out on the deck.  It was a gorgeous summer night to sit out in the evening air.  
We cleared the table.  I did a few dishes.  I felt comfortable, at ease in his space.  
He showed me where I could hide if anyone showed up – a chair in an upstairs closet in the guest room that is mostly a storage area.  We put all my stuff in there too, just in case.  It was good to know where to go but it made me very aware of having to be on guard, and to watch what I touched and not leave anything in the wrong places.  
I sat at the dining room table with my laptop, surfing the net at usual.  He sat on the couch working.  He would take a break every now and then, come over to kiss me and rub my shoulders, then go back to it.  
He finally finished right at midnight.  He took my hand and led me upstairs to his bedroom.  It was at the corner of the house with a lovely breeze wafting in the windows. 
I went to put my glasses on the night stand, and moved hers.  Ugh.  I noticed a fine sheen of dust and realized anew how dangerous it was for me to be there!  I noted the position of everything, so I could put it back just so.  And tried not to disturb the dust.  I used a tissue then realized I could not throw it out in the wastebasket on her side of the bed… no way he was normally be over there.  I worried about leaving any hairs on the pillow or lower down in the bed!  Ugh… this was going to be a lot trickier than I had imagined.  I resolved to be super-duper careful, and not to go there again if at all possible. 
Then I tried to put all that aside, fulfill his fantasy and rock his world!  We started out slowly – he told me stories and rubbed my chest.  He played with my clit… BOOM!  I had two searing orgasms!  Whee!  
We were lying side-by-side facing each other, cuddling.  He pulled my leg over his hip and used his cock to play around my slit, then slid inside me and moved back and forth in the best possible way while we kissed.  Mmm…. he came long and hard, moaning dramatically.  
He was quiet for a bit then thanked me for helping him be “oh so bad.”  Heh.  I touched his face and he was smiling broadly.  He drifted off to sleep.  
I was really keyed up.  Between the sex and the tension at being there, I couldn’t sleep.  I stared out the window into the darkness and pondered many things.  I finally fell asleep about 2 am.
by

Showing her the bike

Friday, June 20, 2014
Me: Good morning! Have a fantastic Friday! 7:38 AM
Kris: Thanks! So excited about this weekend! Getting almost everything on my birthday list! (U on bike is not likely ;). Ready for “adventure”!? 8:39 AM
Kris: Got a truck to pull the boat! Yay! Might tell W about bike tonite. uh oh..let u know. Hope you’ve survived the day ok. almost playtime! TGIF!!! 😉 3:08 PM
Me: Yay for truck! Are you visiting me tonight? Fine either way. Hoping w doesn’t freak out too badly and perhaps she’ll attribute everything she thought was you having an affair to the bike! 3:27 PM
Kris: Just called W and said, “I bought myself a present. I’m coming now to show u it. I can return it but hoping I can keep it for my birthday.”. She said, “What is it? Did u buy a motorcycle? We can’t afford it.”. What the “F” IS it about friggin WOMEN! always thinkin’ the worst! ;). I said, “Not sayin’ – u’ll see in a little bit.” She says, “Yeah right. I bet it’s a motorcycle.” 3:29 PM
Me: Oh my. So she knew you were pining for one? 3:31 PM
Me: So you aren’t driving down tonight? 3:34 PM
Me: Fire alarm! Whee! So I am out of work early! 3:42 PM
Kris: Can’t visit tonite. have to go to see wife. Sorry. did I say I’d b down tonite? Sorry. would love to but cant. plus going to make round trip to pick up truck so don’t have to waste time doing with you. PLUS still have work to do (argh!) Hope I didn’t disappoint for tonite. Pick u up at 11:30 am tomorrow for lunch with mom?! 🙂 !!! 3:44 PM
Me: No worries. I mentioned H is going out, then we changed the subject. Just wanted to be sure. See you tomorrow! 3:47 PM
Kris: K! keep u posted on tonite’s “drama”. Alfalfa. 😉 3:52 PM
Me: If she kills you, it has been lovely knowing you. Sassy 3:55 PM
Kris: Likewise my dear! 😉 3:56 PM
Me: How do you end up with car and truck? 3:58 PM
Kris: Whatcha mean? 3:59 PM
Me: What are you driving down here in tomorrow? 3:59 PM
Kris: Car 4:01 PM
Kris: Driving….explain logistics later. 🙂 4:02 PM
Kris: Just showed wife. I’m a “deceitful man who loves his hog (harley) more then his wife” BUT I’m alive to fuck another day! So looks like you’re not off the hook that easily! Spanky 🙂 !!! 5:12 PM
Me: Ouch, that doesn’t sound pleasant. But glad you survived! 5:14 PM
Kris: She’ll warm up to it but I’ll pay for a while with regular “tongue lashings.” Worth it…even if I am a sensitive, “fragile” soul. 😉 5:19 PM
Me: I will try to be extra sweet to you to compensate. 🙂 5:20 PM
Kris: 🙂 !!!!!! 5:20 PM
Me: Thinking of you… hope you are home safe and wishing you sweet dreams dear man! 11:05 PM
by

Meet #14 Dinner with Hubby and Kris

Thursday, June 19, 2014
Kris: It was! Thanks again for fun gifts (including extras u had to work on in bed…does a sore jaw count as being marked?… 😉 Ran into Hubbyl as I was talking to W on phone. He stopped and we had pleasant brief exchange. I called u your first name in talking to him. Didn’t give Sassy away! Strangely, I’m confident dinner will be fine since it will be with two nice people. (But where the hell did I misplace that moral compass of mine?! Must be around SOMEWHERE!). ;). MORNING! 8:58 AM
Me: Good morning! You are the best human piano! Hubby reported that he talked to you. How weird was that? I am really looking forward to tonight! I took off today… needed a break and didn’t have any meetings. Have a great day! Mwah! 9:12 AM
Kris: Rest! Enjoy! chat…play online….shop for flower boxes u can put on balcony rails! I never checked but they MUST make ’em. Noticed u didnt kill my plant yet! 🙂 9:27 AM
Kris: Having any fun? 1:07 PM
Me: Mostly napping! You on your way? Do you wanna park here and ride with us or meet at the restaurant? 5:02 PM
Me: You close? Did I miss a text? 5:48 PM
Kris: Didnt miss text…state cop just gave me ticket for no helmet. sorry. will park there and ride with you. Wild Kris. 5:56 PM
Me: Oh no! Eta? 5:57 PM
Kris: Here! 6:05 PM
Me: In elevator! 6:07 PM
=====
I forget exactly why I said it, but Kris and I were chatting, as we do, and he mentioned having lunch with my mother, getting to know other people in my life to get to know me better.  And I said, “You could have dinner with my husband, too.”  
He balked at first.  “Why would I do that?”  
“Because you can.  And it’s another way to know me.”  I also mentioned that I had eaten with a couple of Hubby’s girlfriends, so fair is fair!  
I talked with my husband about it and he was eager.  They had met a couple times by accident when one was arriving and the other leaving, so it made sense to do it right. 
The stars aligned very quickly with both guys had an evening available, so we made plans for Thursday night. 
Hubby went to the pharmacy to get some meds (to clear our parking space) and I waited for Kris.  I didn’t hear from him, which is very unusual.  I usually get update texts as he makes his way here.  When he was 30 minutes late, I texted him.  He said he’d be here soon – he had gotten a ticket for not wearing his helmet while he cruised down the interstate into MA!  
Kris arrived.  I let him into the garage, he parked his bike in our spot, then we walked around front to my car.  I drove with Hubby in the front and Kris sat behind me.  He regaled us with tales of getting a ticket.  Hubby told of the hassle at the pharmacy.  They told him there was a national shortage of Welbutrin!   
We went to dinner at The Ninety-Nine, a bar and American restaurant.  We had the perfect table, in a corner, with no one on three sides of us and the other table a good distance away.  Hubby and I sat on the same side, with Kris facing us both.  There was good conversation, good food.  It felt totally normal. 
I drove us back to the house, then Hubby took off to see his lady friend, and Kris and I went inside.  He wasn’t feeling very frisky, so he sat on the couch, turned on his music on the radio and we talked a bit.  I finally got him into my bed and naked.  So good to feel his skin on mine  He played with me awhile, putting his hands on my chest and then my clit.  After awhile, he got underneath me perpendicular and pumped me for awhile until he exploded. Yum.  We cuddled together in the afterglow.  He left about 11:45 pm.  What a night!  The most unusual thing was that it was so normal.  
=====
Kris: Out! Mwah! 11:58 PM
by

Visit #13 Human piano

Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Me: Good morning sugar lips! I’ll be here at 5:30 pm…focused on that to avoid freaking out over performance review at 2 pm. Have a wonderful Wednesday! 8:03 AM
Kris: Ok! You’ll be fine. Playing “helpful husband”. bringing W insect repellant this morning. Told her to call if she needed anything to “help her out”. Really just evil, cheating, lying H covering proverbial ass. Setting her up to avoid any future surprise visits home at future “inopportune times”. U in her bed would be an “inopportune time”…think? How do u want me to mark u? Suck hard? Where?  Deceitful, Ass-Covering Spanky 😉 8:15 AM
Kris: Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Don’t let the bastards/bitches beat u down! Chin up tough Sassy! And just think…shortly we can jump in the game room and play with toys! Fun to have a sexy playmate! 😉 11:14 AM
Kris: How’d eval go? 3:34 PM
Kris: Have to stop and buy cell phone battery…may delay eta…go ahead and eat. i’m fine…keep u posted 4:42 PM
Me: I’m home. 5:35 PM
Kris: Here! 5:50 PM
Me: In elevator 6:00 PM
Kris: U mesmerizer! 7:16 PM
=====
Kris arrived about 5:50 pm.  I dashed down to let him into the garage.  He parked his motorcycle in my spot and we smooched in the elevator!  
We talked while I finished eating a bowl of cereal.  I am trying to save money and cereal is so easy!  He opened the birthday present I got him – two mugs that look like prescription bottles and have an Rx for caffeine!  Hee!  I had seen a photo of them on Facebook, and shown it to him, and he said he’d love to have one.  It was an inexpensive way to give him something silly and fun.  He is so addicted to coffee!  He drank three cups in the 90 minutes we were talking.  
I also gave him a 6-pack of toilet paper.  We got a case at work by mistake and the vendor didn’t know anything about it, didn’t charge us, so the boss told us to take some home.  I didn’t know if he could sneak it into the house, or would appreciate the gesture, but he seemed very pleased with it!  We are both struggling for money, so it is a small way to acknowledge that and try to help.  
He turned on the stereo – he likes the old rock on 100.7 FM.  He rubbed my back and we chatted about our days.  I had survived my performance review.  We went over the plan for him to have dinner with Hubby tomorrow night.  He asked why I want him to, and I said, “Because you can.  And it’s another part of getting to know me.”  
I also let him sample the wonderful chocolates from Nichols Candies in Gloucester.  He liked them!  He tried the sea salt milk chocolate caramels and a couple nut clusters. 
We went to my bed about 7:30 pm.  I put on the radio in there.  He gave me a delightful back rub then we got naked and played a bit.  Neither of us seemed particularly horny.  I had eaten too much cereal.  We talked and touched and kissed and I “played the piano” on his skin in time to the music.  He giggled!  So fantastic to see him relaxed and laughing.  He shoulders so much… I’m glad I can give him a break and be silly with him.  
He eventually got out the little pink rabbit vibe, stuck it on my clit and made me cum twice!  Whee!  It was getting late and he made noises about leaving, but I settled him back on the bed for a Sassy blow job!  Hee!  It is so hot to see his face and hear his moans when I hit the right spot at the back of my throat.  Yum.  
He took off right at 10 pm.  Hubby texted 20 seconds later asking when he could come home, and I was pleased to say NOW!  
Hubby came in and told me he’d run into Kris in the parking lot.  Kris was just getting off the phone so Hubby rolled down the window to say hello!  They exchanged pleasantries, he said how much he was looking forward to dinner tomorrow.  Wow.  
Kris sent me a sweet text.  He is such a nice guy! 
=====
Kris: Out! THANKS….AGAIN…;) Sleep well…see ya tomorrow! Mwah! 10:16 PM
Me: Yay! You are most welcome. Hope it was a great start to your birthday! 10:49 PM
by

Out there

Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Kris: Good morning! Don’t stress out about making plans with me. I know u want to do things (sex especially…wink!) as much as me. But I know u have a lot on your plate…especially being stressed out by job. So take your time. don’t worry about me. I’ll just sit here “crying in my beer” (without any beer to even cry in). KIDDING! 7:00 AM
Kris: “Survive” your “fun” meetings and don’t let the bastards beat u down. Hugs! Kris. 7:02 AM
Me: Good morning! Thanks for your patience and support. It means a lot! Have a great day! 7:08 AM
Kris: You too! Mwah! 7:09 AM
Kris: Hope u r surviving the day so far. I have a busy day, have to work until 7:30. then to gym. then home…probably too late to chat. W definitely gone as of this morning. Any last minute opportunity pops up for any kind of visit (including other than sex) let me know. Only a short bike ride away! 🙂 But again…don’t stress. no pressure. 🙂 11:20 AM
Me: Hiya! I just used one of my mental tricks… things got to be “too much” for me after 3 hrs of meetings, so I went to the bathroom and “went away” in my mind to my SOFA with you. 🙂 12:25 PM
Kris: Wow! Hope it made u feel bettah!…least for a little while. 🙂 1:43 PM
Me: Looked at calendar. Two possibilities. My place Wed, or dinner w Hubby and my place Th? Or other plans either wed or th or both ? 5:11 PM
Kris: Can do both! Wed (tomorrow, right?) AND Thurs! if u think u can put up with that much of me! Let me know! 5:23 PM
Me: Yay! 5:25 PM
Kris: 🙂  U make me laugh. so what’s happening when? sex one night, dinner with a man another then fuck his wife after?! O…M…G!!!!……SO “OUT THERE” for little old me. Holy Shit….try to go easy on me. Good thing I work out, otherwise might have a heart attack! 😉 5:33 PM
Kris: may have been premature in saying yes to Thurs. asked W to take off Thurs night thru Fri but maybe she can try to get off Sat just this weekend. I’ll check with her and get back to u. tomorrow’s definite. get back to u about Thurs 7:43 PM
Me: I was wondering how that would work this week. No worries, standing by. 7:44 PM
Kris: W going to ask for Fri & Sat off….so let’s plan for me to visit Thurs too. If she gets it off can stay as late as is good for u in Thurs. If not, still want to come, just have to leave maybe a tad earlier. So what’s up for each night? 10:46 PM
Me: Hiya! We can do whatever but my thought is toys fun for you Wed. Then dinner with H Thursday and more fun. 10:50 PM
Kris: Sounds fun! Where would dinner be? H going out after? Just got home from gym. Gonna jump in shower (picture it 😉 U gonna be up a bit or going to bed? 10:58 PM
Me: Yay! Still thinking about dinner… need combo of food, a little privacy, not too far away as he has rehearsal at 7:30 pm. Mmm… shower. You have fun in there? I am off to bed… sooo tired. Tomorrow and tomorrow! Mwah! 11:09 PM
Kris: No fun in shower… waiting for fun with u! I’m tired too. 5:30 tomorrow? Mwah! 11:12 PM
by

Giddy Kris

Monday, June 16, 2014
Me: Good morning sexy man! 7:47 AM
=====
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 7:53 AM
Subject: like a kid at Christmas
Hi Sassy,
I woke up like a kid at Christmas this morning–since I heard through the grapevine that Santa was going to grant me almost everything on my wish list (or in this case, B-day wish list!)
So here’s the thing…I went to bed last night thinking about “options”–and woke up early doing the same.  I can drive myself crazy imagining the possible “variations.”  So I’ll try to make this simple (if that’s possible).  Any of these have certain “conditions” and “logistics” that would need to be met or worked out.  
“In general” I would love to spend as much time as you think you’d like to with me (or think you could put up with.. :).  For me, that would mean as much as:
1) Pick you up either Wed or Thurs night from work and bring you home that night. 
(Pick you up at 5:00pm?  Leave my house at 10:00pm or 11:00pm to have you home by 11:00pm or 12:00 midnight?).
2)  Pick you up Saturday morning and bring you home Sunday night.  That would include: A) Either having lunch with you and your mom, or B) You not seeing your mom that day—which may not be an option.
3)  Pick you up Saturday after you’re finished lunch with mom and bring you home Sunday night.
The only thing about #1 is that after maybe having dinner with you and you showing me your office (if you wanted to throw those two things in too) you’d be traveling with me round trip about 2 hours for 2-3 hours of sex (assuming we left around 7:00pm–arrived at my house around 8:00pm–and left my house around 10:00pm or 11:00pm for you to arrive home by 11:00pm or 12 midnight.  If we did that, we’d be likely “getting down to business” right away when we got to my house.  Which is fine with me–if that’s what you want to do.  Could give you the “grand tour” of the place during the daytime some other time.
My real preference would be to spend the whole weekend with you and go boating. The weather is forecast to be only “partly cloudy” (which means “mostly sunny”) and in the mid-70s (so like Goldilocks–not too hot and not too cold–almost “just right”).  Boating has the logistical need for me to find a truck–but I now have two friends who potentially will rent me theirs.
There is a little bit of “adventurous drama” that would need to happen on my B-day.  Namely, I would need to take a short break to ride my bike to where my wife is working and “break the news” to her.  You could be the first one I report the results to.  Should only take about an hour to ride over there–show it to her–tell her–and get her reaction (not good at first–but hoping “ok with” later).
ANYHOW….give all this some thought and either shoot back an email or maybe we can chat tonight about the details.  What you want to do–and when–also effects what day or days I ask my wife to take off this week.  That hasn’t been determined yet either–since she’s just starting her first day of work today.  It hasn’t been determined for sure with her employer.  But hopefully they can work with her and have some flexibility.  My request of her day off depends on what YOU want/can do….
So eagerly looking forward to your reply : D ….
Afalfa (running down stairs to open his presents!)
P.S.—Hope this is kinda fun–and doesn’t stress you out too much.  For me it’s a BLAST!
P.P.S.–Thanks for the incognito window tip!  Using it here and going forward.  Whatever might cause the sad ending of our affair (hopefully in the very distant future)–the last thing I want it to be is getting caught!
=====
Kris: Good morning sultry Sass! Just sent u email. Know u have limited time today…but think about and let me know what u think. Maybe chat about details tonite? Mwah! 8:01 AM
=====
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 8:05 AM
Subject: Fw: like a kid at Christmas
Ooops!   Made a big mistake on what I had in mind for a week night–either Wed or Thursday.  I wouldn’t bring you home the same night—you would spend the night and I would bring you to work in the morning!  Makes a big difference.  So change/edit #1 with that in mind!
=====
Kris: Oops! Made a mistake in first email. Just forwarded/resent it with important correction!
 8:07 AM
Kris: hope your training is going well. parts of emails will make u giggle…or if nothing else confirm my craziness. just tryin’ to have some fun…which you’re a LOT of! 12:06 PM
Kris: W left couple hours ago to start work…can’t stand the loneliness. know anyone who might come over and comfort me? 12:18 PM
Me: Awww… you poor fellow! I might be convinced to help you out. I survived training, despite the boss sending me three different nasty emails. Then I jousted with the IRS for my mom… looks like she forgot a quarterly tax payment in 2012. Geesh. Hope you had a good day! 5:30 PM
Kris: Bad day…fight with kid about money…student loans I co-signed that he’s late paying. Dings my credit. Going to gym now. U free to chat later? 5:54 PM
Me: Oh dear. Sorry to hear that. I’d be happy to chat. 5:59 PM
Kris: K…I’ll try not to make it too late. Dying to hear how you’ll be “helping me out” 😉 6:18 PM
Kris: Leaving gym to put bike away…ETA on chat bout 10. 9:33 PM
Me: Yay! 9:38 PM
Kris: At shed…in need of your sweet, positive attitude like “Yay!” One little word picks me up… you’re sweet…thank u. 9:53 PM
Kris: Online 🙂 10:27 PM
=====
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 11:36 AM
Re: 10 Tips 
Hi Sassy,
Interesting article–especially the two big questions to answer “No” to:  “Do you love her?” and “Did you ever have sex with her in our bed?”  Basically the advice is “lie though your teeth” and just answer “no” to both questions–even if it’s not true.  I’m not sure I would handle it that way.  
If I got caught today I’d answer the first question by saying: “She’s a good person and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like her–but I don’t love with her the way I love you.  She’s been saying she’s planning on sticking a vibrator in my ass, or using it on my cock, or sucking on my cock and stroking it and sticking a vibrator in my ass all at the same time–which I think might be fun and feel good–and you won’t.  So, no, I don’t love her the way I love you.”
I’d answer the second question (“Did you ever have sex with her in our bed?) by saying:  “I was planning to–but you ruined my plans by catching me.”  
KIDDING!
Alfalfa
(hope to never have to even consider using any part of this advice!)  
=====

From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 11:52 AM
Re: Fw: like a kid at Christmas
OR…IF YOU WERE A REAL GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT–ADD TO #2:  “Drop you off at work Monday morning!!!—would make 2 whole days of “being with Bill”—may be way too much “Bill” for you though!!!

If nothing else, you have to like “being wanted” and “me wanting to spend lots of time with you “even doing “other” (“mundane” as you call them) things…..right?
=====
·       Jun 16 10:24 PM Kris: hi
·       Jun 16 10:28 PM Sassy: hiya
·       Jun 16 10:28 PM Kris: how u doin?
·       Jun 16 10:29 PM Sassy: okay. You?
·       Jun 16 10:29 PM Kris: not so great, but don’t really want to talk about it. will another time. Tired, little down…but happy to be chatting with you!
·       Jun 16 10:30 PM Kris: so how was the training?
·       Jun 16 10:31 PM Sassy: yucky
·       Jun 16 10:31 PM Kris: how come?
·       Jun 16 10:32 PM Sassy: poorly put together
·       Jun 16 10:32 PM Kris: that sucks…feel like a waste of time?
·       Jun 16 10:32 PM Sassy: yup
·       Jun 16 10:32 PM Kris: and boss sent 3 nasty emails?
·       Jun 16 10:32 PM Sassy: yup
·       Jun 16 10:33 PM Sassy: I spent 2 hrs looking at job ads tonight
·       Jun 16 10:33 PM Kris: well when it’s time it’s time and at least your being proactive. find anything?
·       Jun 16 10:34 PM Sassy: 3 that might work
·       Jun 16 10:34 PM Kris: wow!
·       Jun 16 10:34 PM Sassy: I put them into “my cart” to look at more closely tomorrow
·       Jun 16 10:35 PM Kris: isn’t there a time by which your boss might stay or leave?
·       Jun 16 10:35 PM Sassy: Yes. July 1
·       Jun 16 10:35 PM Sassy: Should know either way very soon
·       Jun 16 10:35 PM Kris: if she leaves would you be inclined to stay or still feel like you could use a change either way?
·       Jun 16 10:36 PM Sassy: I’d probably stay awhile… depends on who would take her place
·       Jun 16 10:36 PM Sassy: and whether I could undo some of the mess she’s made
·       Jun 16 10:37 PM Sassy: Did you hear from your wife? Is she okay there?
·       Jun 16 10:37 PM Kris: I always think of the line from The Who that I endlessly hear listening to my “classic rock” music: “Meet the new boss…same as the old boss!”
·       Jun 16 10:37 PM Kris: she’s home tonight
·       Jun 16 10:37 PM Sassy: oh?
·       Jun 16 10:38 PM Kris: she called and left me a voice mail and said…
·       Jun 16 10:38 PM Kris: that she didn’t really start until orientation tomorrow but she brought all her stuff there today…then came home.
·        Jun 16 10:38 PM Kris: she called me and asked if I was going to the gym…said she would meet me there.
·       Jun 16 10:39 PM Kris: but I was on my bike so I didn’t answer her.
·       Jun 16 10:39 PM Sassy: eep
·       Jun 16 10:39 PM Kris: went to the gym assuming she wouldn’t be there, which she wasn’t
·       Jun 16 10:39 PM Sassy: phew
·       Jun 16 10:39 PM Kris: she has “good intentions” but doesn’t actually go as much as me.
·       Jun 16 10:40 PM Kris: so I just show up, cruise the parking lot, look for her car. if it’s not there just go in.
·       Jun 16 10:40 PM Kris: only had one close call.
·       Jun 16 10:40 PM Kris: but Saturday is “Doomsday”…..then it will all be out in the open.
·       Jun 16 10:41 PM Kris: except for YOU. my luscisous, naughty secret….
·       Jun 16 10:42 PM Sassy:  : )
·       Jun 16 10:42 PM Kris: I’d like you to do something for me…
·       Jun 16 10:43 PM Sassy: What?
·       Jun 16 10:44 PM Kris: if you don’t know what you want to do or can do…I’d like you to decide what you want to do, as far as us getting together, either during the week or weekend. my brain is cooked with all my “endless scheming and planning and fantasizing.” what I really want to know is what YOU really want to do. not what I want to do but what YOU want to do…. anything. don’t care what it is. I want to do whatever you want to do. so think about it and tell me soon…if you don’t know right now. ok?
·       Jun 16 10:45 PM Sassy: I have been thinking about it.
·       Jun 16 10:46 PM Kris: ok. just let me know when you know and I really want you to do what you really want. I know I’m repeating myself but sometimes I talk too much and plan too much, so I’m ready to “listen” a little more right now. so tell me when you figure it out…ok?
·       Jun 16 10:48 PM Sassy: I worry about going to your place until you know how your wife’s job is going to work
·       Jun 16 10:49 PM Kris: you mean when I know for sure when my wife is definitely going to be there and what day off she has?
·       Jun 16 10:49 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Jun 16 10:49 PM Sassy: and that she is really going to do it
·       Jun 16 10:49 PM Kris: do what?
·       Jun 16 10:49 PM Sassy: work there
·       Jun 16 10:50 PM Kris: oh…she is DEFINITELY going to be working there. she is contracted by an agency…and she HAS to be there 24 hours a day 6 days a week. her orientation starts tomorrow…
·       Jun 16 10:51 PM Sassy: ooof… I need a hug
·       Jun 16 10:51 PM Kris: how come?
·       Jun 16 10:51 PM Sassy: This stupid work crap… can’t make my brain shut up about it.
·       Jun 16 10:52 PM Sassy: I need my brain for fun with you!
·       Jun 16 10:54 PM Kris: ok….so we need to figure out a way to get together. I just asked my wife and she said she asked for the day off I asked her to.
·       Jun 16 10:55 PM Kris: which is from 5:30pm on Thursday to 9:30pm on Friday.
·       Jun 16 10:55 PM Kris: all the rest of the time she HAS to be there.
·        Jun 16 10:55 PM Sassy: Hunh. I’m betting they tell her she can be off other times
·       Jun 16 10:56 PM Sassy: She will find ways to come home and check on you
·       Jun 16 10:56 PM Kris: I doubt that
·       Jun 16 10:57 PM Sassy: I can’t imagine her staying away for real
·       Jun 16 10:58 PM Kris: wife just said she has to be there all the time
·       Jun 16 10:59 PM Sassy: interesting
·       Jun 16 11:00 PM Sassy: Let me get back to work and look at my calendar. I will figure it out tomorrow.
·       Jun 16 11:00 PM Kris: ok.
·       Jun 16 11:00 PM Sassy: I have a 9 am meeting, then two hours of finance training, then a 2 pm meeting
·       Jun 16 11:00 PM Sassy: Bleh
·       Jun 16 11:00 PM Kris: who are the meetings with?
·       Jun 16 11:01 PM Sassy: First one is with boss, second is with the team running a big conference in August
·       Jun 16 11:01 PM Kris: first one’s obviously “yucky”. what about the second one?
·       Jun 16 11:01 PM Sassy: not sure
·       Jun 16 11:02 PM Sassy: and finance training is awful
·       Jun 16 11:02 PM Sassy: I have to keep thinking… I can do this.
·       Jun 16 11:02 PM Sassy: that which does not kill me makes me stronger
·       Jun 16 11:02 PM Kris: I wish I had some money. I’d just get a room for us and jump your bones but I’m broke.
·       Jun 16 11:02 PM Sassy: Thank you for being the bright light in my life right now!
·       Jun 16 11:03 PM Sassy: Hubby’s chair that he couldn’t figure out how to buy on Saturday?
·       Jun 16 11:03 PM Sassy: It was $200 then… $300 today
·       Jun 16 11:03 PM Kris: what?!
·       Jun 16 11:03 PM Sassy: Yup.
·       Jun 16 11:04 PM Sassy: I had budgeted $100
·       Jun 16 11:04 PM Kris: oh wow!….so just not going to be able to get it?
·       Jun 16 11:04 PM Sassy: No, he bought it anyway
·       Jun 16 11:05 PM Kris: oops! how do you respond/feel when that happens?
·        Jun 16 11:05 PM Sassy: sick to my stomach
·       Jun 16 11:05 PM Kris: money stress really sucks. have a bit of it myself lately. hate it
·       Jun 16 11:06 PM Sassy: so I get work mess, dealing with the IRS mess, and the chair mess… must be MONDAY!
·       Jun 16 11:06 PM Sassy: Tomorrow has to be better on some front.
·       Jun 16 11:06 PM Kris: Let’s hope so! I could use some good news too! speaking of getting together….
·       Jun 16 11:07 PM Kris: I was thinking about your proposal to have dinner with you and H. amazing I would even consider it since just the thought of being with you at your place was almost “inconceivable” not that long ago. but been thinking about it.  might be “interesting”. were you serious?
·       Jun 16 11:08 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Jun 16 11:09 PM Kris: ok…what the hell…set it up… do it
·       Jun 16 11:09 PM Sassy: I pose some interesting challenges for you, don’t I?
·       Jun 16 11:09 PM Kris: more than a little!
·       Jun 16 11:09 PM Sassy: But you like it, mostly?
·       Jun 16 11:10 PM Kris: Definitely! wanted “different”…sure getting it! maybe not exactly as I imagined…but that part of the fun too!
·       Jun 16 11:10 PM Sassy: “What’d you do tonight Kris?” “Oh… I had dinner with my gf and her husband.”
·       Jun 16 11:10 PM Kris: omg…so bizarre!
·       Jun 16 11:11 PM Sassy: “Wait… what? How can your gf have a husband? That you can eat with?” “Um, it just… works”
·       Jun 16 11:13 PM Kris: very strange…. how did I get here?!
·       Jun 16 11:15 PM Sassy: I should go to bed. I wish I could take you with me!
·       Jun 16 11:16 PM Kris: so if we can’t have sex (so sad) we could do some other things. like you could show me where you work or have lunch or dinner or SOMETHING till I know for sure when my wife is definitely not going to be here and you feel comfortable and safe about it OR your H goes out and you can invite me there again!
·       Jun 16 11:16 PM Kris: ok….I wish I could too! hopefully soon. nite nite, sweet sexy Sassy!
·       Jun 16 11:16 PM Sassy: I am working on that
·       Jun 16 11:17 PM Kris: ok…I’ll trust you to figure something out. look at your calendar at work and I may know more definitely about my wife’s schedule after tomorrow.
·       Jun 16 11:17 PM Sassy: Sorry I can’t plan better… juggling too many things. But it will get better.
·       Jun 16 11:17 PM Kris: don’t worry….as you say….we’ll figure it out. when you do…just let me know…in the meantime… love texting and chatting….Mwah!
·       Jun 16 11:18 PM Sassy: Mwah!