AM men so far

January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

I am feeling a little better this morning – regrouping, taking stock of where I am and trying to figure out where I am going.  I feel done with Ashley Madison but don’t see a clear alternative.  Here’s a quick summary of my contacts since I joined AM in mid-September:

  • 10 men contacted me that I replied to 
  • 6 Met 
  • 3 Had sex with (2 good, one bad)
  • 8 Gone
  • 2 Still talking (Mr Truck and Panties Man)

Month            Met       Status Comments


   #1                   No        Gone    Guilt king, stood me up

   The Lawyer     Once     Gone     Regular guy, so sweet, too busy to cheat

   Dancing Man    Once     Gone     Regular guy, One and done without a word

   Panties Man     Once     Active   Kinky, sweet, too busy to cheat

   The Professor   Once     Gone     Vanilla, erudite, lunch and silence


   Mr Truck          No       Active     Email king, porn king, kinky


   Speedy             Once     Gone      Selfish, shorter, thinner, one and done

   Period Man       No         Gone      Too many periods!


   SmoothGuy       No        Gone     Nice guy, said he won’t cheat

   Volt                Once     Gone     Great guy, generous, guilty

Stood up

From: Sassy
To: Kevin
Sent: Monday, Dec 31, 2012 1:03 pm 
Subject: re: Lunch
Are you here in the bar somewhere? 
From: Sassy
To: Kevin
Sent: Monday, Dec 31, 2012 1:16 pm 
Subject: re: Lunch
I’m giving up.  Email me.  I hope you’re okay…  Happy New Year. 
From: Kevin
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, Dec 31, 2012 2:05 pm 
Subject: Mess
Got there at 12:30 on the dot. Sat down by myself at the bar. Got nervous. Didn’t even order a drink. Left.  I’m a mess. I don’t want to be the person that is a jerk to someone else. You need to forget about me.
From: Sassy
To: Kevin
Sent: Monday, Dec 31, 2012 3:30 pm 
Subject: Flirty friends
Thanks for explaining, Kevin.  Sorry I set off such massive nerves.  Please don’t beat yourself up over it.  So meeting is not good.  Okay.  
Three questions:  
  1. Do you like reading my emails?  
  2. Do I make you smile?  
  3. Do you like having someone to talk to?  

If the answer is yes, let’s forget about today.  Forget about meeting.  Be flirty friends and have fun.  You sound like you need someone.  No pressure… just fun.  Write when you have a bad day and need cheering up.  Write when you’re having a good day and want to share.  Write when you’re horny and ask for another story… send me great p0rn you find!  Write when you meet someone!  You don’t have to put your hands on me to be part of my life and special to me. 
Now go have a very Happy New Year!  I am wishing 2013 will bring great joy for both of us!  


Out with the old

Monday, December 31, 2012
Good morning kid!  Hope your last day of 2012 goes smoothly!
I’m off to Framingham for lunch with a MAN!  Think good thoughts for me at noon thirty!  I am finally going to meet the first guy I talked to on AM.  Bring on #1!  
11:51am Phil
Have fun!  Here’s a man
[photo of his smiling face and naked shoulders in his bedroom]
Enjoy lunch
You look good enough to eat!  He’s late…
12:42pm Phil
[photo of his shoulders and back in his bathroom with jeans on]
Something to distract you
Thanks.  I think I’m being stood up.
12:46pm Phil
Awwwww, that’s bullshit. Just chickenshit!
How long do I wait? Grrrr
12:51pm Phil
Half hour. Should have called, jack ass
Doesn’t have my #.  But could’ve emailed…sigh
Thanks for being out there…this so sucks!
12:56pm Phil
I’m so sorry! Guy’s a low life, not worth seeing. His Momma failed miserably. Hope I provided a little levity and distraction. Say what you mean, mean what you say, no bullshit
Giving up. Bleh.
How’s your day going?
1:34pm Phil
Sorry Sass. 
Good, had amazing video sex, got a workout in, now prepping for this evening.
Glad one of us got off!  
Thanks again, Philip.  
Ordering take-out from Olive Garden!  At least I get some sausage!
1:38pm Phil
I’m relaxed as can be. 
LOL! Enjoy. 
Just discovered face time program. WOW! What fun!
Nice!  The Beach Gal?
2:03pm Phil
Of course!
Got my lunch, headed home.  Hugs with ear nibbles!
2:06pm Phil
Enjoy! Finished shopping, cooking now and some cleaning!
Partying tonight?
2:06pm Phil
My girl just makes me smile and laugh and umm other things.
2:07pm Phil
Yeah, friends coming over, a couple neighbors, good food, plenty to drink.
Gotta drive, more in a bit
2:08pm Phil
We got a keg, big fire pit, lots of food, cigars
Drive careful
Mmmm… nothing like sausage soup!
Volt just blew me off.  More B.S.  Wow… blown off by two men in one day. 
I am so done with all this.  Happy New Year!
6:01pm Phil
Huh?  Happy New Year babe!
Find a strong alcoholic beverage and chill!
Ha ha… wish that worked… but thanks for the thought.  
Can’t seem to stop crying.  Ugh.  maybe that will help…
6:49pm Phil
Ohh baby, stop, you just got a jackass. 
Not worth your tears
END OF 2012

#1 Looking forward to lunch

From: Sassy
To: Kevin
Sent: Sunday, December 30, 2012 2:47 AM
Subject: Re: Lunch
Kevin!  Oh my… yes!  Lunch sounds fun.  Thanks for the invitation.  
From: Kevin
To: Sassy
Sent: Dec 30, 2012 11:16 pm
Subject: re: lunch
Hi Sassy:
Hope we are still on for tomorrow!!!  Any chance we can bump up the time a bit to the 12:30 range?  You know what I look like so you can find me – I don’t know the layout there, but I’ll try to find a spot at the bar.
From: Sassy 
To: Kevin 
Sent: Sunday, December 30, 2012 11:53 PM
Subject: Re: Lunch
Hiya Kevin, 
I am looking forward to it!!!  I am half-excited and half-scared, as usual.  
I can be there whenever… takes me about 45 minutes.  I’ll aim for 12:30 pm and await you in the bar.  
From: Kevin
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, Dec 31, 2012 12:22 AM
Subject: re: Lunch
Wonderful – see you tomorrow!!!!

#1 Invitation

To: Kevin
Sent: Monday, December 24, 2012 4:12 PM
Subject: Wishes
Hiya Kevin!
Happy Christmas Eve!  I hope you are ready for a fabulous Christmas!  May Hope, Peace, Joy and Love come to you!  
From: Kevin
To: Sassy
Sent: Dec 28, 2012 11:28 pm 
Subject: re: Wishes
Hi Sassy:
Thank you so much – and a Happy New Year to my favorite friend I’ve never met and who is responsible for many smiles.
Kisses and hugs,
From: Sassy
To: Kevin 
Sent: Saturday, Dec 29, 2012 11:38 pm 
Subject: re: Wishes
Thanks, Kevin! 
A Happy New Year to you!  I hope 2013 brings wonderful things to both of us!! 
Awww… you are so sweet.  I’m just silly me… I certainly do like to read that you’re smiling! 
A hug with a grope and an ear nibble!
To: Sassy
From: Kevin
Sent:  Saturday, Dec 29, 2012 11:47 pm
Subject: Lunch
What about the British Beer Company, 120 Worcester Road, Framingham, MA for lunch @ 1:15ish Monday?

#1 Resurfaces

From: Sassy 
To: Kevin
Subject: The Brew Pub
Dec 21, 2012 9:03 pm 
Hiya Kevin, 
Hope life is treating you well.  I went to the brew pub today where we thought we’d meet the first time and it made me think of you, wonder how you’re doing.  What a beer list they have!  
From: Kevin
To: Sassy
Subject: Re: The Brew Pub
Dec 23, 2012 12:11 am
Hi Sassy:
You are a sweetheart. Thanks for keeping me in your mind. I have been doing well. Nothing too exciting to report, but that’s my own fault isn’t it?:-)  Maybe I need to give myself a Christmas present of a good beer with a good woman at a good brewpub……How have you been?  
From: Sassy 
To: Kevin
Subject: Re: The Brew Pub
Dec 23, 2012 1:07 am
Kevin!  Thank you ever so much for writing!  Great to know you are alive!  
I am great – at the start of 11 days off!  My employer closes so I don’t have to use any vacation days!  I hope to get out every day so I don’t just sleep and get in trouble on the net.  If it won’t set off an angst fest, I’d adore being able to talk candidly and see your smiling face while you drink a good beer!  

Guilt King

Kevin, my AM #1, and I had been planning and fantasizing about meeting at a micro brewery, hugging, talking, touching and then finding somewhere to kiss.  He had me so revved up!  I was counting the hours until 7:30 pm when I could finally see him and touch him.  This would be our third attempt at a meet.  Third time the charm?

I had put off the first meeting, and he postponed our second try, so I was holding my breath, hoping that had been a fluke, but braced for a letdown.

3:07 pm

I’m out again. Had my first full-fledged AM hook-up on Sunday and I can’t come to grips with it morally. I am hating myself now and don’t want to. You were right. This is something that should be avoided if there is an option. Thanks for being a friend and I’m sorry, but I can’t lead a double life.


So…. no meet.  And he slammed the door in my face.
And he was meeting someone else yesterday?  He’s met EIGHT women and he won’t meet me? WTF?!
But I felt his pain.  If it was the truth.  I couldn’t resist writing back.

3:47 pm

Hiya Kevin, 
Thanks for your note.  I so sorry you are feeling the guilt.  I understand you feel what you feel, but please cut yourself some slack.  Take deep breaths.  This doesn’t make you a horrible person.  You are a good man with needs who is doing the best he can to meet them without hurting others.  Don’t burn your bridges.  I know a man who goes through this after every meet, then decides in a little while that he needs her again and has to beg his way back.  Take your time.  Think it through.  
If you have someone to talk to about this, do that.  If not, I am here to listen or I could connect you with guys in a similar situation for anonymous chat or email.  I want to help and I can be a friend.  I can even watch you drink a beer and cry into it if you like – I won’t pester you.  I have other possibilities… not as interesting as you, of course.  And I can help with ideas on less risky ways to meet your needs.  
If you don’t want any further contact, thank you for making me smile more than any other guy on AM.  Be happy.  You deserve it.

And then I cried.  Again.  What is it with this man?  The others make me sad or angry or puzzled but this one?  ARRRGH!

Saturday summary

Saturday, October 20, 2012
Saturdays are too quiet!  Only one blogger emailed me.  No Philip. No attention from the AM guys.   Bleh.  I think I’ve managed to tick most of them off.  
– Panties Man sent me an incredible photo of magenta striped undies with lace and ribbon yesterday, which I told him were spectacular.  He wanted to see mine but I just couldn’t do it.  He said it was okay but has been silent since.  You probably don’t want to see a man in ladies underwear, but there is something very hot about a man’s junk covered in ladies panties!  
– I scared The Lawyer Thursday night.  He wrote about 6:30 pm to ask if I was ready to see him again.  Duh… YES!  Been waiting since Sept. 27th?!  He asked when.  I said pick me up in an hour?  Or name a time that works for you, I’m flexible.  No response.  
– The Professor is really vanilla.  He asked me to explain why anyone would be interested in anal sex.  Why is it my job to explain that?  He must not have liked my explanation… nothing since then!  
– The Coach told me he was going to Omaha Mon-Wed on business.  and never wrote again.  *sigh
They may pop back up, but…. ugh.  I want someone who can’t wait to meet me!  Ah, well.  
So I am left with AMguy #1 who I’ll meet Monday if he doesn’t chicken out.  He admitted to being excited but nervous.  I told him there would not be a moral dilemma Monday evening because I am not going to have sex with him on the first meet.  Hope that doesn’t upset him.  But I am determined to just be me and if that’s not good enough, too bad!  I am planning to get to the restaurant ahead of him, so he can’t see me limping.  I hope I can finesse walking if we leave there together.  How am I supposed to meet men if I can’t walk?! *sigh 
I did get a new contact last night, the second from the other [defunct] site. The timing was funny – I logged on to archive The Coach, and was about to hit the logout button when it said, “You have new mail.”  Heh.  He’s not my usual type – older (56), shorter – only 5’10” and skinny and Jewish!  He wrote beautifully, mentioned baseball, plays and chocolate!  I had to write back.  He hasn’t replied but many guys don’t on weekends, so I won’t fret until Monday night.  He had that slightly discouraged tone of someone who has written to a lot of women and not gotten a response, so it was fun to write back and hope to make his day.  His profile says Bangor ME but he talked about being close by me… puzzling.  That is hours from here.

Wicked Wednesday

What is it about Wednesdays?!  I heard from all four of the Ashley Madison men I am talking to!  It’s amazing how much time this philandering takes!

I had shared with three of them (not Panties Man) that I was hearing from men with kinks (doms, subs, wearing women’s underwear – oh my!) that I could not deal with, probing to be sure they weren’t hiding such proclivities.  They reassured me they were not, each in their own way.  Phew.

Before I wrote this post, I had not looked at them side-by-side… as I do I realize how typical these emails are of each man, how similar and how different they are, and the range of choices I have!

Which one would you pick first?


There was email from Ashley Madison, showing me six men in my area who signed up recently.  I like looking at them… it shows their nickname, age, town and a photo if they’ve posted one.  I am horrified by the face photos… seems like indiscretion of the highest order!  Dude!  Your wife can log on and see you!  Your boss can see you!  I clicked on a couple of profiles but as usual they hadn’t written much if anything yet.

Tip for men – don’t join AM until you have a full profile ready to go!  AM will show it to women right away and you’ll miss a big chance to get some attention!  And if you put a public photo, post one without your face!

I tried to think of writing to one, but that just didn’t seem possible.  It tells them I clicked and they can write or wink me if they are okay with BBWs.


First up was The Professor:

12:32 am

Dear S.,

My fantasies are as unimaginative–and as electrifying–as can be: full-out, hours-long sex with a willing partner who has multiple orgasms.  That’s it.  No one has to play any “roles,” be “dom” or “sub” or whatever the lingo is.  I’ll settle for a woman who plays the role of “woman.”  That’s how plain-vanilla I am.


Next up – Panties Man:

6:52 am

ha!  You’re not sure what that mean???   aw, c’mon; that’s a simple dream to analyze! Was it pretty?  What were you wearing today?  

Thanks for that incredibly hot link!! 

Back to work today.  I’m having to share a cube due to space constraints.  Absolutely no privacy.

Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2012 19:04:16 -0700
From: Sassy
Subject: Sunday hot dogs
To: Rick

Glad you hear your rolling along.  I had a dream of you in a silky nightgown… not sure what that meant!  Here’s a hot dogging gif for your pleasure.  Rock on, Rick!

then along came Kevin, AM #1:

6:55 am

Sassy!  Here’s a little morning tingle as I stop you from doing whatever you are doing and pull you over to sit on my lap so you can feel some anticipatory throbbing as my hands work their away exploring your back and my lips lavish attention on the back of your neck.  Good morning!


Finally I heard from The Lawyer, who had been silent for ten days.

3:54 pm

I hope the sassy girl hasn’t forgotten her lawyerly suitor!  He has returned….sounds like you’ve been busy whilst i travelled!! 😉   It’s absolutely amazing to me what (i) specific sexual eccentricities so many people have, and (ii) how willing, in the confines of cyberspace, they’re willing to reveal said eccentricities! Whilst I am generally amazed, often amused, and almost always tolerant of same, alas, I’m a little short-handed in matters of fetish! 

I hope you won’t find me boring, but I love touch, taste, intensity of feeling and the combined pulses of pure pleasure that come from fully pleasing one’s partner, and in return, being fully pleased. 

My fetish is the feeling of skin-on-skin, the delights of the heat of passion, the wet warmth of a beautiful woman in full throttled passion, her physical urgency and growing forcefulness as we mutually approach a climactic rush.  I hope that’s neither too forward, too explicit, or too “vanilla”… and I do have my own underwear– but wouldn’t mind removing yours…;-)… but I have no need to try them on!


Teasing and tantalizing

I sent AM #1 a photo of my cleavage (you know the one, my icon with the black bra) to entice him to meet me.  He liked that.  We agreed to meet in ten days and here is a sample of how we spent the time… 
From: Sassy
To: Kevin
Sent: Friday, October 12, 2012 1:50 PM
Subject: Friday lunch fun

Happy Friday Kevin!
Well… that seems to have worked!  Your appreciation of my assets made me smile.  And giggle.  And swoon.  That means A LOT!  I’ve been missing that for way too long.  Please do explore… with your hands, your face… and another body part.  Since breasts are the topic, here’s another moving picture to um… titillate?  
I hope you had a lovely evening wondering what it will be like to touch me.  Since we didn’t meet up, I got into trouble on the internet, looking at images.  But I kept having to close my eyes and take my hands off the keyboard due to a vision (or was it a premonition?) of a tall man in a bar, hugging me… squeezing me, breathing me in and… it went several directions after that.  I try not to get too far ahead but it is so much fun!  My brain won’t shut up!  Even now in the midst of doing payroll!  

We are kissing right there in the bar, forgetting where we are, being alone together in the crowd.  Risky!  or kissing and groping, leaning against a car.  Cold steel on my back and you very warm pressed against me in front.  Hot!  Sometimes more… in a car.  Hands, mouths… button, zippers… whee!  Sometimes… even more.  Hmmmm.
I usually consider an offer to meet very carefully, but since you asked so nicely and wrote so beautifully that it made me wet, I’ll say a week from Monday sounds great, other than it is too long away!  But let’s make good use of the time in between…
My questions for today – do people ever say you look like a celebrity?  And which female celebrity makes you tingle?  
Have a great weekend!  
From: Kevin
To: Sassy
Sent: Saturday, October 13, 2012 9:32 PM
Subject: Friday lunch fun

Good Morning Sassy:
That was easily my favorite of your short films. probably because that is exactly what we have been doing in my mind since you sent the picture of your delicious breasts.  Thanks for sharing – your visuals always get me nicely bothered! And I love what we have been doing in your mind – I am so looking forward to that moment where we first meet and hug, feeling our bodies against each other and especially when we manage to find a private spot later and share our first, heart-pounding kiss. I want your lips. I want your tongue. I want more…..
For our meeting, I will be downtown so pick whatever place you think will be the best. I can get to your area easily or we can meet anywhere convenient.
I do not get compared to any celebrities, but I can share some tingly female celebs with you. My first was Angie Dickinson. I remember her being on the cover of a magazine my mom had back in the 1970’s. I would sit and look at that picture and give myself massive erections when I was just starting to learn the joy of sexual excitement.  
In the 1980’s it was Phoebe Cates, who captured many a young man’s ….ummmm…heart?….with her topless emergence from the pool in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. My friends and I were so taken with her, we proclaimed that every day was “Phoebe Cates Day” and often wished each other “Happy Phoebe Cates Day” whenever one of us was in the dumps.  
Today’s most tingly females?  Salma Hayek? Yummy. Diane Lane? Makes me hard every time, which I don’t quite understand because I’ve never liked any movie she has been in. Elisabeth Shue? Adored her for years. Idina Menzel? I’d love to make her sing to me in bed. And my most recent one is Regina Spektor – on the younger side, but she has such a beautiful voice and fertile mind, that I’m willing to risk being considered a dirty old man for her:-) 
And if I could go back in time, Mae West wouldn’t have a chance at resisting my charm:-)
So feel free to analyze what my choices say about me:-)  And then share yours.

Speaking of sharing, wouldn’t it be nice right now if we were sharing lips…….