Shy Saturday


Between You and Phil
Phil April 2 at 8:40am
Nice warm Saturday today. Going to be 70 tomorrow! No snow for us. How you feeling? Glad it’s the weekend. Was a very busy week! Hope you enjoy the day!
April 2 at 11:39am
Good morning! Already 50 here, sunny Spring day. I feel great. I am off to have lunch with my mom at a new thai place.
April 2 at 11:47am
(feel shy. in the midst of a wicked bout of aching for you…what makes it so fierce sometimes? Don’t want to bug you)
April 2 at 2:53pm
Windy day! Great lunch with mom. She’s doing so well. Helping her prep for tax accountant. Whee. How’s your Mom? What’re you up to today?
April 3 at 12:25am
Quiet Saturday night… shrimp and bacon pizza… sleep well, sweet man.
Phil April 3 at 12:45am
Stuffed jalepenos and wings. Good stuff. Mild wonderful day. Mom’s good, glad the weather is easing up. Love it. Nite Sass.

April 3 at 12:49am
Phil April 3 at 12:50am
Already laying down nite girl

April 3 at 12:52am
Ah. Sweet dreams…

What If Stag Night Fling

From: Sassy Girl
Subject: At the Hotel
Date: April 1, 2011 10:45:22 PM EDT
To: Phil

Hiya, kid,
Here’s another story.  You can see it by going to your google “documents” folder if you’re logged in to gmail, as I’ve shared it with you.  
This one is called “1980 at the Hotel” and the timing is a bit scandalous.  Hope the premise is not too much.  If it is, just skip to “the good part.”
No idea where it came from…just poured out of my head.  
As usual, recommended for reading while alone.  
Any comments appreciated.  

1980 at the Hotel
In the restaurant

I was starving when I finished my shift at 11:15 that warm Friday night in June.  I wanted dinner in air-conditioned comfort before heading home, so I went to the restaurant next door.  I ordered a big plate of fish and chips and sat at the counter on a stool in the big window, watching the traffic go by on the highway.  There was a steady stream of customers ordering ice cream on that hot night.   Office workers dressed in business suits sat around me, mixed with construction workers in overalls of various colors, and teenagers sharing a sundae after a movie.  I picked up a section of the Knickerbocker News someone had left behind and read the headlines. 
I was almost finished eating when a big group of guys came in, a little loud and drunk.  Not an unusual occurrence.  They lined up to order ice cream, joking and shoving.  I figured out it was a bachelor party.  The groom had on a funny hat and was taking their teasing well.  They looked vaguely familiar, but I didn’t want to draw their attention by staring.  I hid behind the newspaper.
Most of them filtered outside to eat their cones, but the groom left the group and passed me on his way to the men’s room.  There was something familiar about his walk.  I was paying my bill and trying to place him when suddenly, he sat down next to me, plunking down on the stool, facing the wrong way, looking out the window.  He pulled off the silly hat, smiled and said, “Hey, Sass!”  
I took my first good look at his face, and realized it was Philip, my first boyfriend.  I had not seen him in 5 years, but time had been kind to him.  He was fit and tan, handsome as always.  My heart melted a little.  I had always had a soft spot for him, even though he told me after three weeks of dating (and after I fell madly in love with him) that he wanted to be friends.  So I never said a word about love, and we stayed friends for two years, until he left for the military and vanished from my life. 
“Hiya, kid,” I replied, chuckling. 
“Been celebrating,” he said, slurring just a bit.
“No kidding,” I answered dryly. 
“Getting married tomorrow,” he imparted.  I felt something tear inside me.  But kept smiling.  I heard he had been dating a blond girl from our high school.  
“Congratulations!” I told him, almost completely sincere.  I thought I had gotten over him awhile back.  Maybe you never get over your first love?  Anyway, I was dating a nice guy from away, been with him for almost a year. 
“Need one more kiss though,” he said.  I stared at him.   Then looked around to see if any of his pals were still there.  None of them were inside the restaurant.  But they could easily be watching from outside.  I leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.  He frowned. 
“Do it right,” he ordered quietly.  I stared at him, nodding toward the gang outside, pleading for him to stop before they could see us. 
“Did you bet them you could do this?” I asked.  He looked wounded.  
“Wouldn’t.   You know better,” he growled.  He got up and offered me his hand.  I stared at it, then at his face, trying to figure out what he wanted.
“Come away with me,” he said.  I stared some more.  “Please,” he whispered very close to my ear.  He blew on my neck.  I closed my eyes.  I had never been able to resist him, but I thought I should try.   
“You can’t disappear,” I protested.
“I can,” he insisted.  He took my hand, pulling me up off the stool and leading me down the hall toward the back exit.   I followed him out the door into the darkness behind the dumpster.

In the parking lot

He leaned against the wall, pulled me slightly off-balance so I was leaning against him, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me full on the mouth.  Gently at first, but then using his tongue to go deeper.  I got lost in his taste…beer…ice cream…his smell, his body… forgetting where we were and everything but his lips on mine.  He put his hand on my breast and squeezed, rubbing his thumb slowly over the nipple.  Explosions went off in my mind and lower down.  I had forgotten how electric his touch was… how quickly I could forget my own name when he was close to me.  He put his other hand up under my dress and grabbed my ass, pulling me tightly against him so I could feel how hard he was.  I put my hands around his waist and caressed the muscles of his back.  I added my tongue to his, and he moaned.  Minutes passed.   I don’t know how many. 
“There,” he said, raising his head at last.  “Like that.”  I shoved his chest a bit, thinking he would let me go now.  Not sure if that was what I wanted or not.  Felt guilty that I didn’t know.  I touched my lips with my finger.  They were buzzing.  
He took my hand again, and started walking across the parking lot toward the motel where I work.  I suddenly realized he was probably staying there… it was one of the closest places to our hometown. 
“Wait… where are you going?”  I asked, dragging my feet a bit. 
“To my room,” he said, digging in his pocket for the key as he pulled me along, “to do what we should have done years ago.”  An image of the two of us, naked, wrapped around each other in bed flashed through my mind.  It had never happened, but I had wanted it so badly for so long.  Dreamed about it before I knew what it really meant.  But not like this.  My good-girl instincts kicked in.  
“But… I can’t… wait.  You can’t.  You’re drunk…. You’re getting married tomorrow…my boyfriend…WAIT!”  I stopped moving.  He turned back and pulled my face to his and kissed me again.  He held my face and whispered firmly. 
“You can.  You want to, very badly.  I definitely can.  I am not drunk.  I’ve had exactly three beers and it takes a heck of lot more than that these days to get me sloshed, and I won’t breathe a word to your guy,” he said, covering all the points except the crucial one.
“Wedding tomorrow?” I reminded him.  The prospect of being with him was almost irresistible, but not for a one-night stand.  So not my style! 
“Better tonight than tomorrow night!  Let’s not talk about that,” he said. 
“I am not going to be your stag night fling!” I insisted.  I shrugged out of his grasp and started the other way at a brisk pace. 
“I love you and I know you love me,” he called after me.  I stopped in my tracks.  He had never said those words to me before.  He caught up with me and wrapped his arms around me from behind.  “You know I do.  You can feel it every time I touch you.  I know I’ve messed things up.  But you’re the one, Sass,” he said quietly into my ear.   He kissed my neck, moving out toward my shoulder.   I shivered.  
“Say it,” he whispered. 
“What?” I asked, genuinely confused.
“Tell me how you feel,” he said. 
“Bride?” I said, clinging to the one thing that might save me from the biggest mistake of my life. 
“Separate thing,” he said, sighing.  “I know that doesn’t make it right, but she will be a military wife and move with me, and have babies and you don’t want any of that, do you?”   Though the idea of being with him had always seemed like heaven to me, the life of a military wife held no charm at all.  He had me there.  I was almost finished with a liberal arts degree from a fancy college and had big plans for a career in business.  And a boyfriend I hoped to marry next summer.  And he was right, that seemed like another world.  I hadn’t given my boyfriend a thought when Philip was kissing me.  
I turned in his arms and hugged him.  I don’t know how long we stood there.  He gave me time to think.  Of course, I could not think with him that close to me.  But what was there to decide?  I had loved him for years, he was offering… I was going with him.  There weren’t many men I would trust to take me to their hotel room, but I had always felt safe with Philip.  I’d had bad hotel room experience early on with my current boyfriend, but Philip was definitely different from him!  I kissed him on the forehead.  He took my hand and we walked silently across the parking lot to his room on the back side of the complex.
Two guys were sitting on the sidewalk in front of his room.  I didn’t know them.  But he did.  I tugged at my hand, but he wouldn’t let go.  
“Dude!  What happened to you?” one of them piped up.  He had obviously had more than three beers.  
“Chuck, Tom… shouldn’t you guys be asleep by now?” he asked.  
“But… we thought that you, well, you wanted, um…” they trailed off, staring at the two of us.

“Changed my mind,” he stated matter-of-factly.  They exchanged glances, and got up.  They shook his hand, and he said something to them I didn’t catch and they wandered off.  He opened the door to the hotel room and motioned me inside.  
In his room 

I stared at him.  I could not believe he would risk so much, letting his friends see him with me on the doorstep of his hotel room less than 12 hours before his wedding.  
“They won’t tell,” he said. 
“What are you going to say?” I asked, standing in the doorway.  
“Nothing,” he assured me.  Knowing how well he had kept my secrets over the years, I had no doubt he meant it this time.  He went into the room, turning on a small lamp, kicking off his sneakers.  
He finally noticed that I was still standing in the doorway.  He stood looking at me and smiled.  I expected him to drag me into the room, but he just stood there.  He took off his t-shirt, flexed his muscles and kept staring at me.  I was transfixed by his gorgeous chest and beautiful shoulders.  
He started to take off his jeans, and said, “Close the door so I don’t give the whole damn parking lot a show?” he said, chuckling.  I took a step inside, closed the door and leaned against it.  He continued taking off his jeans, and stood there in his white briefs.  He had gorgeous legs, too.  He tossed off the briefs and started walking toward me, very slowly.  I had never seen him completely naked.  Looking at him did things to my insides.  Good things.  Made me want to touch him.  I smiled, and he came very close to me, but veered off into the bathroom without saying a word.  He was leaving it totally up to me.  Which it turned out was even sexier than any begging or show of force.  I heard him turn on the shower, and I walked over to see what he was doing.  
He turned toward me and held out his hand.  I took it and walked into his embrace.  He held me for a long moment, then whispered, “Scrub my back?” into my ear.  I giggled and he swatted me on the ass and turned to hop into the shower.  “I need to use the phone,” I said.
I dashed to the phone and called home.  My dad picked up.  He was usually up late, watching “The Tonight Show.”  I explained that I’d run into an old friend and was going to their place, probably stay over, don’t look for me.  Well, it was true!  Bless him – he didn’t ask who, told me to be careful and hung up.  I adore my dad.  
Philip was humming loudly while I stood there, trying to decide what to do.  My good girl brain told me to run out the door and not look back.  My heart told me to stay for as long as he’d let me.  The chance to touch him and see him smile was too much to pass up.

In the shower

I shed my clothes in record time, pulled back the curtain and stepped into the shower behind him.  He handed me the soap and a wash cloth.  I dutifully soaped up his back and scrubbed it, all business.  He sighed and put a hand against the shower wall, concentrating on what I was doing.  I turned him so the water would rinse off all the lather.  Then turned him back and put my hands on his shoulders, kneading gently, massaging his muscular back.  

He sighed again as I made me way down his back, then turned and kissed me.  He grabbed my ass and pressed me the entire length of his body, wet skin on wet skin.  We fit together like pieces of a puzzle.  The kissing went on several minutes.  I can’t say how long.
He finally broke the spell and started kissing his way down my body… until he was kneeling with his hands on my ass and his mouth on my stomach.  He blew a big raspberry on my belly, and I giggled.  Then he stuck his tongue inside me and started sucking.  I thought I would collapse, but he held me upright and flicked my most sensitive spot.  I gasped and my hips started rolling toward him.  I put my fingers in his hair and pressed him even closer.  
“Oh, girl…you taste so good.  Always wanted to do this…” he sighed.  
“Yes…so good…on fire,” I told him as I started to lose my mind.  
“I want to be inside you,” he whispered.  “I wanted to take my sweet time, but I can’t wait,” he murmured.  “I want you in that bed, right now.” 
“I know…I feel it… I want you, too,” I said.  I had never said that before.  It had always seemed like it would make me sound like a whore.  But I knew Philip would understand, even appreciate knowing how I felt.  He rose and turned off the water, handed me a towel and escorted me out of the tub.  I rubbed the towel over him, and he grabbed another towel to dry me off. 
“Tell me you’re on the pill,” he said as he gently dried my chest.  I wondered for a moment what he’d do if I wasn’t, but the question was moot.  “I have condoms if you want me to use them, but I’ve been careful,” he added.  Mind reader. 
“I am on the pill, and that should do it,” I answered.  He hugged me from behind and I looked in the mirror.  I nodded my head that way and he looked as well.  What an image we made!  
In the bed

We made our way to the king size bed.  I sat on the edge, suddenly nervous.   He sat next to me.

“Second thoughts?” he asked.
“No… yes…it’s just…I want it to be good for you,” I answered.  “I’m not…I mean…you’ve probably been with a lot of women, all over the world, and I haven’t done that much.”  I didn’t tell him that the last time I was alone with a man in a hotel room, he kept me there for two days and hurt me over and over.  Because he had calmed down and I was still dating him.  And I thought that’s how men acted.  But somehow, I knew this would be different.  
“I haven’t been with anyone except my fiance,” he stated. 
“But…you’re in the military!” I joked.  
“I’m still me.  And I am only interested in you,” he confirmed.  He reached up to take down my hair.  I tried to help but he swatted my hand away.  I had braided it, then put it up in a circle around my head to keep cool.  He pulled out the pins holding it, then took off the band holding the braid, running his fingers through my long, dark hair.  It spilled all the way down my back.  It felt so good to have it set free.  He had a look of wonder on his face that made me smile.  
He pulled me down on the comforter, wrapped me in his arms and kissed me.  We were lying side-by-side.  He reached between my legs and put his finger inside me, gently testing, twisting.  I had quite a reaction to that, hips bouncing towards him…breathing a little faster.  
“You are so wet…so tight,” he sighed, kissing my shoulder.  “I have so many dreams…things I want to try, but right now I need to be inside you.  Tell me you’re ready,” he asked.  I could feel him pressing his cock against me.  Wow.  No one had ever asked me.  
“Oh, yes, do it..please do it, I want you so much, ” I moaned in his ear.  
“Tell me how you feel about me,” he asked.  “Why you’re here…” he asked, staring me right in the eyes.
“Maybe I am interested in your gorgeous body,” I sassed back, stalling.  How could I tell a guy getting married tomorrow that I loved him?  What was the point?  
“Yeah, right,” he smirked.  “How many guys have you slept with?” 
“What a question to ask me now!” I choked out.  I could barely think with him pressed up against me.  
“I just told you,” he said, very reasonably.
“Well…two,” I admitted.
“Just for their bodies?” he asked.  I pondered that.  I thought I loved them, had said so.  But this felt completely different.  My love for Philip was on a whole different level, and had been for seven years.  That made it very clear what to say.
“I love you,” I whispered in my best sexy voice.  He sighed and whispered, “I love you, too… and you’ve loved me all along, right?” he asked.  My eyes grew wide.  I thought I had hid it so well!  “It’s okay.  I have, too,” he reminded me.  “Let me show you…” 
He kissed me deeply, as he lifted one of my legs to wrap around his waist, and I felt him press up and into me.  He grabbed my ass and sunk slowly inside me.  We were still side-by-side, in a way that felt much more like us doing it, rather than him doing it to me.  He was very still for a moment, staring into my eyes, checking my reaction.  I was astonished at how gentle he was, and how perfect he felt inside me.  
“Ah…you are so tight.  So hot…. damn…,” he purred as he began to move, inching out and then quickly back in.  I gasped as he thrust deep inside.  
“This is what I dream of… at night… in my rack… with my hand on my cock… stroking… dreaming of your hand, your tits, your ass, your body and mine….” he admitted.  
“You don’t have to say that,” I told him.  
“It’s true…,” he confirmed.  “Only this…is…better,” he added, pounding each syllable inside me.
I marveled again at how we fit together.  How right it felt…how easy it was to concentrate on what he was doing.  How different it was from the others – not awkward, not hurtful.  Wow.  I held his ass in my hands, and he moved in and out, pressing me higher and higher.  
“You are so hot…so hard…it feels so right…you make me burn,” I told him. 
“Damn, girl… we are so good together,” he sighed.  His breathing began to get ragged.  He moved more quickly.  
“Oh, yeah…” I replied, unable to think much with him setting off every nerve in my body.  I clawed at his back, and started to feel something shift inside me.  My hips wouldn’t stay still…they rose to meet his thrusts.  
“Philip…I…ummmm….feel…something, oh…strange…” I panted.  I couldn’t put a sentence together.
“What?  Tell me,”  he urged, pausing for a moment in concern.
“I don’t know what… I never felt this way,” I said.  “My bones are melting…” I said, knowing that didn’t make any sense, but it was true.  He picked up the pace even faster then before.
“It’s a good thing,” he assured me.  “You feel hot… and your muscles are twitching inside and you can’t think and you feel amazing,” he listed the symptoms.  
“Yes… that’s…mmm?” I was getting hazier by the moment.
“Orgasm, darlin’…you’re coming…you know about that,” he said.  I had read about it in books, but never felt it.  How could it suddenly be happening now?  Philip picked up that this was new.  
“Damn, girl…are you telling me you haven’t… I mean… I’m making it happen for the first time?” he asked.  I nodded against his shoulder. 
“You’re…hmmmm…special….gentle…you….include me,” I struggled to explain when all the blood from my brain was elsewhere. 
“Jerks,” he whispered.  “This is the best way for both of us!” He shifted again, deeper…and I couldn’t think anymore.   
I started to tremble, and he rose and picked up my legs against his chest and pounded inside me until I was soaring… floating… and then he was still… shaking, coming, filling me .  The room seemed brighter somehow.  And he collapsed on me… breathing… resting.  I thought he had fallen asleep, but he started sucking gently on my right breast and tweaking the left with his thumb.
“Philip?” I whispered in his ear.
“Mmmm…yes…” he replied.  
“That it’s supposed to be? Like you wanted?”  I asked.
“Ummmmhmmmm…yes,” he answered.  “You came… I came…you’re alright?” he asked.
“Oh, yes…I feel this…glow,” I replied.  
“That’s what is supposed to happen,” he confirmed.  
“Philip… in your dreams…what do I do next?” I asked.  
“I don’t know if I should say…” he hedged.  “It might weird you out.”
“You can say…you know you can.  I might not do it, but it does hurt to tell me,” I assured him.  He rolled us onto our sides again, but kept me close.  
I ran a finger all the way down the center of his back, then right on into the crack of his ass.  He jumped and squealed a little, but calmed down saying, “Oh, yea… mmmm…”  I reached further down and under to touched his balls, and he moaned soft and low.  I could feel him getting hard again, still deep inside me. 
“Stick your finger in my ass,“ he said. I licked my pinkie and twisted it inside his ass, and he shook.  I moved it in and out very slowly, and he moaned.  He started moving inside me to the same beat.  
“Damn, girl.  I love it when you do that,” he sighed.  “You have changed, grown up,” he whispered in wonder, panting slightly.  “And I like it… a lot,” he said.  
“Mmm…yes…learned a bit,” I teased him, pressing further inside him.  He pressed further inside me and I began to see stars.  There was something so simple about part of me inside him while he was inside me.  It made every moment more intense.  I thought I could not feel any more pleasure, but it got better and better.  I felt like I was adventuring in uncharted territory…and it set me off in a new way…hotter, higher…wow.  I began to feel a pulsing inside him…and he stopped moving.  He came inside me again… spurting over and over and making the most amazing noises.  I was pretty vocal myself, shuddering and shaking…wow.  I lay there thinking it would never be better than this.  But then I thought…it could be.  You never know what the two of us can come up with!  
We collapsed next to other and stared into each other’s eyes.  Smiling.  Stunned.  Satisfied.  
“Sass?  You okay?” he asked.
“Oh, yes…maybe the best I’ve ever been,” I sighed.
“Is there something you’d like me to do?  Something you wanted to try?”  he asked.  Wow… equal time…asking me what I want…what a concept. 
“I want you to mark me,” I said, a little shyly.  “I want to feel your mouth on my body, and be able to look in the mirror and know that your mouth was on me…and remember…” I admitted. 
“Any place in particular?” he asked.  
“Hmmmm…. any place under my clothes,” I answered, since neck hickeys were so tacky and a bit hard to explain.  
“What about your boyfriend?” he asked.  A good point.
“He’s away for awhile,” I explained. 
“Ah…” he said, moving closer again.  He kissed me deeply.  I will never get tired of that.  Then he moved lower, kissing his way down my neck, across my shoulder, out to my elbow…which I had not previously considered a sexy area but damn it he didn’t make it tingle!  Then he crossed over to my breast and latched on to my right nipple like a starving infant.  My toes curled and my hips popped off the bed as he sucked on me.  Then he bit me gently and my head started to thrash.  I had never felt like this…I felt wave after wave of heat pour through me, from my chest to deep inside me.  I had thought about what this might feel like, maybe it would hurt?  But my fantasies paled in comparison to reality.  It made me want to…want to…freeze this moment.  I tried to take in every sound he made, every nerve he was setting off… the smell of sex and cleaning fluids in the room….the sight of his head… the feel of his hair, and etch it in my memory.  
He looked up and touched the spot gently, saying, “There… that ought to last a good long while…” in that triumphantly male way of a man claiming his territory.  I was so hot…I felt branded.  And I liked it.  He rested his head on my belly.  
“Hmmmm….thank you,” was all I could manage to say in the afterglow.  
“You came again, didn’t you?  Just from my mouth on your tit?” he asked.  
“Yes, indeed,” I confirmed.  “You have quite an effect on me.” 
“Good,” he chuckled. 
As my brain started to function again, I added, “Do you need to sleep?”  
“No…not at all.  I need you, again,” he said.  He moved very fast, rolling me over onto my stomach, lifting my hips off the bed and entering me from behind on one quick move.  I had always thought of this position as rather cold…no eye contact, no way for me to touch him with my hands.  But he made it incredibly hot…the sound of his body slamming into mine, the depth he could reach…I slammed back against him and the noises that escaped my throat made it clear this was a very good idea.  I started to come again almost immediately.  He felt it and moved faster.  I spiraled higher and higher.  He stopped and filled me, pulling my hips and twisting in spasm after spasm.   He lay down beside me, and I rolled toward him, putting my head on his chest and rubbing his shoulder. 
“Oh…that was…you are…I am…. so stunned at what you will let me do,” he marveled.  “And how you much enjoy it, too,” he added, a bit incredulous.  “You shake all over when you come…it is very sexy.”  
“You make it magic, make things I thought were bad…incredible,” I said, wondering if he understood just how rare that was.  “I don’t…. I mean I’ve never felt like this with anyone,” I said, not really understanding but trying to explain.  “It’s…chemistry.” 
“I know… it’s…special,” he added, closing his eyes for a moment.  
“Tell me something else to try,” I asked.  He didn’t speak, but moved over me and turned, presenting me a lovely view of his ass, balls and cock from an angle I had never seen.  His face was at the level of my mid-section.  He put his finger inside me and began to stroke in and out. I let the pleasure pour through me briefly, then started to work on him.  I used my hand to separate his cheeks, then used my tongue to lick my way from the top of his ass to the center.  He gasped… I waited for a few seconds, teasing… then stuck my tongue inside him.  He squealed and twisted his hips.  I made little circles around the outside, then dove again.  He shoved two fingers inside me.  I thought I could not concentrate on two things at once, but I was wrong.  My brain seemed to expand as I focused on him while enjoying what he was doing.  
I squeezed his balls just a bit and then pulled them into my mouth.  I sucked gently.  He moaned so sweetly.  My hips pressed upward toward his fingers and I shifted up the bed a bit until my mouth could take in his cock.  I pumped it slowly, and stopped.  He moaned again.  I started anew, and then sucked him into my mouth.  He gasped.  
“I never…mmmm…thought…you would…oh…” he panted.  “I always wanted you to touch me,” he admitted.  It was lovely to hear him so happy.  I wondered if he understood what it meant for me to do this.  I had never done anything like it.  He twisted his fingers to a new and even more devastating position inside me, and I sucked him further down my throat until his balls were at my nose.  I breathed heavily on them.  I started to taste the sweet, thick liquid from the tip.  I had never done that before…it was easy to swallow it.  
“So good… hot…hmmm… but you should…stop…now…I can’t hold back much longer…” he warned me, losing his voice as I grabbed his ass and squeezed, and sucked him even harder, trying to make clear there was no stopping, that I wanted it all.  He used his fingers to make me soar.  I was trembling and pulsing inside. 
“You… I am going to come…understand?” he asked.  I squeezed his ass again and he started to tremble…and I could feel him pulsing and then my mouth was filled with his sweet juices.  I swallowed twice, gulping and savoring his gift to me.  He pulled out quickly and sprayed the remainder down my body, then flipped around to lick it off my breasts and belly.  He rested for a moment, panting and shaking his head a bit in wonder.  Then he popped up and started kissing me, tasting himself in my mouth.  He lay next to me again, resting his head of my shoulder and drawing little pattern on my breast, pressing a leg between mine.  
“I love it when you show me what you want,” I told him.  
“You…I have always wanted to do that, and it was hotter than my dreams,” he told me.
“It’s really stunning when you are doing something inside me and I have you in my mouth,” I said.  
“Oh yeah,” he concurred.  “I feel like you love me,” he whispered in awe.  “I always thought that, from how you react when I touch you…how much you let me do.”
“That’s the message, “ I stroked his hair.  
“Do you get it, now?  I love you, Sass,” he said.  I thought I would melt and pour off the bed into a puddle.  
“Yes…that’s what it feels like,” I confirmed.  “Just when I think I can’t possibly love you more, it gets more intense…fierce,” I whispered. 
His breathing started to get more regular and I assumed he was falling asleep.  I fought the urge to nod off.  I stroked down his back.  I focused on each point where our bodies touched, trying to store up memories.  I had the distinct feeling this would be the most amazing night of my life.  Scandalous, sexy, fun and poignant…I started to get all emotional and had to shut it out.  I could think about all that tomorrow or next week.  I wasn’t going to make sense of it all right now…and maybe never.  
Philip surprised me…he wasn’t asleep.  He moved up to kiss me…gently pressing his lips on mine, nibbling my lower lip.  I grabbed his cock, shifted my hips and pressed him inside me.  Here we were at last in the traditional position.  He moved slowly in and out with his tongue, then matched the action lower down.  I pressed his ass and moved my hips.  I raked my nails gently up his back.  I moaned softly into his mouth.  He moved a little faster.  He suddenly shifted and rolled me up until I was on top of him.  He pushed me up so I was riding him, with his hands on my hips, his hips bucking underneath me.  I began to wonder if we were going to break some world record for number of different positions in one night.  
“Ride me,” he moaned, slipping his finger into the top of my slit to flick my most sensitive spot.  Now that was a great idea!  It drove me crazy and I drove down on him, rising up and down.  It was amazing to be in control.  I arched my back to take him deeper inside.  He shoved up and stayed up.  I slammed down on him and leaned over, my long hair forming a curtain to close out the world.  He came violently, shuddering all over.  My insides clenched around him and I felt the heat pour through me yet again.  Definitely a personal record for me.  I collapsed on top of him.  
“I am so glad I ran into you…listened to you…went with you,” I told him, rolling over to lie next to him and stare at the ceiling.  He reached for my hand.  
“I glad.  But you didn’t run into me,” he said.  “I brought the gang to stay here on purpose, knew you worked here…I’ve been looking for you, waiting, hoping for a chance…” he admitted.
“What?” I asked, not believing.
“You heard me,” he said.  “I’ve been thinking of you for years…trying to find a moment,” he said.   He squeezed my hand.  My mind could not take it all in.  I thought about what idiots we were…him pining for me, me loving him with every fiber of my being and hiding it.  Oh, boy.  Him getting married in a matter of hours.  
“I should go,” I offered.  
“No,” he stated firmly.
“You don’t want me here when they come to get you,” I pointed out.
“I want you here every possible second and you can stay after I go if you want,” he said.  “I’m even trying to figure out how to get to you again during the reception,” he added.
“Philip!” I was touched, but horrified at that last bit.  
“I know…that was crass.  But I was thinking it,” he shrugged.  
“Philip…I am supposed to go out of town tomorrow.  I want you to get married and be happy and stop thinking about me.  You’ll be happier that way,” I said, though it hurt like mad.  
“Wow… you do love me,” he marveled, squeezing my hand.  “I can’t just turn it off…you know better than that.”  I rolled over, half onto his chest, so I could look him in the eye.  
“Yup.  But I also want to make it clear… since we can’t seem to tell each other how we feel at the right times.  I am not asking you for anything, but if you ever get to the point you want to see me again, I want you to find me and tell me.  I’m going to try to go on with my life – graduate, get a job, maybe get married… but I don’t want anything you hear about that to make you think I don’t want to see you.  Find me and tell me you want me, and let us work it out then, okay?”  I tried to make it very simple and clear.
“But what if you’re married and I’m still married, and I just want to fuck you,” he said, putting it crudely.  
“Please don’t get into what ifs.  Maybe I’ll need a good screw by then, too!” He chuckled at that.
“Even if you’re married?” he asked. 
“I don’t know… but I love you now.  And you’re getting married tomorrow and I can’t keep from touching you.  And I don’t think that’s going to change.  Find me, invite me out to dinner… we’ll eat, we’ll talk… and we’ll see….” I said.
“That seems reasonable,” he said.  “But what if you want me?” he asked.
“If it were up to me, you’d get on the phone right now, call off the wedding and I would never let you out of my sight again,” I told him fiercely.  “Not a likely scenario, right?”  
“Well…no.  You know that’s not going to work.  For you or me,” he pointed out.
“True.  So be happy.  But don’t forget what I said.  Promise me that one thing,” I asked.
“I promise,” he said.  He pulled me up so he could kiss me.  We kissed deeply for a long time.  I can’t say how long.  He rolled me over and pressed me into the bed, shifting his hips over mine. 
“Are you sore?” he asked.  I smiled at his considerateness.  He was a gentleman like no other.  
“A little, but don’t stop,” I replied.  He put my hand on his cock, and I stroked him, then circled him and pumped him.  I could not believe he was still hard and raring to go again.  I ran my fingers under the tip and found a spot to press.  He moaned.  I shifted my hips and pressed him inside me.  He looked a little surprised, but smiled and closed his eyes and started to move slowly, in and out.  He pressed deeper and was still.
“I don’t want to hurt you there,” he said, starting to move away.  “We can play other ways,” he pointed out. 
I grabbed his ass and held him in place.  He twitched inside me.  “Fuck me, Philip,” I whispered.  He growled in my ear.  His cock jumped inside me.  My hips bounced up to meet his.  And we were off again.  
“I love it when you talk dirty to me.  Is it alright if I use some rougher words?” he asked.  
“Try it,” I winked at him. 
“I want to pound your pussy so hard that you crack in half,” he whispered.  
“I want your cock so far inside me, you can feel my back teeth with it,” I replied, without any idea where that phrase came from.  Who was this foul-mouthed woman?  Hee!  
“My pleasure,” he growled and started to go wild again.  He kissed me, sitting up and pulling me up into a kneeling position with my knees on either side of his hips.  He held my hips and bounced me in the air with every stroke inside me, our chests sliding past each other.  Wow…wow…wow…
I shuddered and arched back, which drove him even deeper.  We both came very quickly.  We collapsed again, lying next to each other, holding hands.  
“Damn it, girl.  You are the most passionate….we…I..mmm…..” he was lost in some fugue of pleasure.
“Yes, I know,” I agreed. 
“I don’t think I will ever stop wanting you,” he told me.  I rolled over on to his chest and played with his nipple.  I listened to his heart beating.  He rubbed my back.  It was so comfortable.  
He grabbed my hand and pulled me upright.  “Let’s take another shower,” he invited.  
“Okay… sounds good,” I said.  I walked that way and turned to catch him staring at my back side.
Back in the bathroom 

“I’ve always had a thing for your ass,” he said, chuckling and grabbing it again.  I twisted out of his grasp and ran to the bathroom.  I sat on the toilet and heeded nature’s call while he started the shower.  I marveled at how I felt completely comfortable naked, in the bathroom, taking care of something so private…no idea why.  Was that part of what really loving someone was about?  
We got into the shower again and he pulled me into his embrace under the water.  He took the soap and washed me all over, getting me clean and completely revved up again in the process, paying attention to my tits, my ass, my legs…mmmm. He handed the bar to me and I returned the favor, making sure to spend time all over his body and then finish with his beautiful manhood. We rinsed each other off.  He pressed me against the shower wall and kissed me.  I stored up each touch, each sound and smell to take out later to cherish.  We carried on that way for a very long time.  I can’t tell you how long.   
We finally climbed out of the tub and toweled each other off.  He shaved while I watched.  He used the razor to cut a few strands of my hair and put them in his wallet behind a piece of paper.  I looked at it, and realized it was a photo of us dancing from his yearbook.

“How long have you been carrying that?” I asked, astonished.

“Ummm?  Ah… hmmm… five years,” he admitted sheepishly.  It boggled my mind.


I sat on the bed and watched as he dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, packed up all his stuff and pulled a tux bag out of the closet, draping it over the chair.  He put his watch on.  

“There, that should do it,” he said.  He sat down next to me and kissed me again, fondling my breast.  I stroked his back slowly.  
“I love you so much, girl,” he said.  “It won’t be long now. Tom is picking me up.”
“I love you,” I replied.  I thought I’d be bawling my eyes out by now, but he made me so happy, I was saved from that indignity.  “Don’t forget what I said,” I reminded him.
“Got it,” he said. “Just because you don’t hear from me, don’t think it means I’m not thinking about you,” he added.  
I got up to gather all my clothes, and straightened up the bed a bit, so it looked like only one side had been slept in.  I went in the bathroom to get dressed and tie back my hair.  
There was a firm knock on the door.  I gently closed the bathroom door and turned off the light.  And held my breath.
I could hear Philip chatting with someone outside, gathering his stuff.  And then it was quiet.  I waited to hear the door click, but it didn’t happen.  About two minutes later, the door to the bathroom opened and he folded me into his arms and kissed me deeply and desperately.  He looked into my eyes.  He smiled.  “Thank you for making my dreams come true,” he whispered. “For showing me what it can be like,” he added.  He held me so tightly.  
“Be happy,” I told him.
“Will you be okay?” he asked.  
“Yes.  Go!”  I shoved him away. 
We smiled.  He swatted me on the ass, and was gone.  The door shut firmly this time.   
I turned to smile into the mirror.  And closed my eyes.  I ran over every moment of the evening.  There would be a lot to write in my journal.  I got dressed and drove home in the dawning light to start living the rest of my life, smiling as I had never smiled before.  Wondering if I would ever see him again.  Knowing I had just had the best night of my life.  I was 20 years old, but if I lived to be 100 there would never be another night like this one.  Love certainly is strange and wonderful!  I knew that if he ever returned, even if I was married, I would give him whatever he asked for.  It would take me a long time to make sense of all that happened, but I can’t tell you how long.  

Til There Was You

March 30, 2011 
Till There Was You – The Beatles

There were bells on a hill
But I never heard them ringing
No I never heard them at all
Till there was you
There were birds in the sky
But I never saw them winging
No I never saw them at all
Till there was you
Then there was music and wonderful roses
They tell me in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn and dew
There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No I never heard it at all
Till there was you
Then there was music and wonderful roses
They tell me in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn and dew
There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No I never heard it at all
Till there was you
Till there was you

Baseball bet

Tuesday tunes
Between Phil and You
March 29 at 7:56am
Good morning! Another cold and clear day. I’m so glad to be home w/ my own bed, a shower and computer! Have a great Tuesday!
Phil March 29 at 8:19am
Spectacular sunrise, staff hard at work, hot coffee, great start. Gonna be quasi warm out. I love it! Welcome home! Enjoy the day!

March 29 at 9:49am
What a gorgeous photo you posted! Off to a great start here – cleaned out my medicine cabinet. I don’t want to admit how old some of the stuff I tossed was…
March 29 at 5:35pm
Hope your day continued to go well. I was very productive – my brain was really working! I worked at home – caught up on work emails, personal emails, and figured out how to pay bills on a new banking site – my bank got bought out and it all changed over last week! Whee!
March 29 at 7:26pm
Quiet evening. Alone again. Question – Tips to keep me sane when my spouse is being a total twit? Think of a bad Sally day and how you coped and share the secret? When I need him to be better, he is worse than ever. Grrr… sorry to complain but it is reaching epic proportions!
Phil March 29 at 7:41pm
I lose myself in music. The music fills my ears and heart. I also walk away. I’m not a fighter. Music has always soothed my soul.

Wednesday work
Between Phil and You

March 30 at 8:25am
Good morning! Another clear 36 start, headed to 50! Off to the office. Have a great one, kid!
March 30 at 3:10pm
Great work photos! Fun to see where you are! And food! Yum. The cold war is over if all that can be on Facebook. My day started off great with BACON! So nice to be able to eat what I want again. I’ve been working hard… didn’t look up until 2:30 pm – my assistant made me stop to eat lunch. Hope you ate today. 🙂
March 31 at 12:35am
You were quiet today. Hope you’re okay. I had the seafood scallion pancake and basil chili duck again at All Seasons Table, the Pan Asian place, slogged through 3 hours of project business with the board members of our non-profit and our pro bono big city lawyer. Oof. Looked at photos you sent. Had wild sex with you… in my mind. I loved seeing you cum. Sad you were alone… wonder what you were thinking about.. hate that it wasn’t inside me. Shouldn’t say, but it’s true. Sleep well, sweet man.
Phil March 31 at 7:51am
Well good morning! Busy day yesterday. Worked out with the staff. Creaky knees are barking but ok. Another action packed day today! Whoo Hoo. Have a great one!

March 31 at 9:08am
Good morning! Clouds 40. March ending quietly. Long day of dr appt and chemo #5 w/ different drug. Supposed to be easier but takes longer. Free food, better than main hospital, thank goodness. I will joke w/ sis and think of you. Heehee. have a sudden urge to kiss knees. 🙂 Have a great day! 
Baseball bet
Between Phil and You
March 31 at 7:00pm
So. Wanna make a “gentleman’s bet” on baseball? Maybe who wins the Eastern Division? or what? What would you give me if I’m right? What would you want if you’re right?
Phil March 31 at 7:06pm
Sure! Of course my call is Yankees win the East. Wager, I’m not sure of yet.

March 31 at 7:15pm
Cool! I am shocked, shocked I say, that you picked that team! 🙂 To be contrary, and likely win, my pick is the Red Sox. Though maybe I should wait and see what you’d ask for… but if you give me a right to negotiate on the wager, I am in!
Phil March 31 at 7:22pm
Ok, but your suck ass Red Sox are going to dissapoint you. They kind of have a history of that. I bet on a proven winner.
March 31 at 7:51pm
A co-worker in my office, who aspires to be a baseball sportswriter (A’s fan) told me a famous sportswriter w/a good track record picked the Red Sox to win by 8 games over those overpaid jerks from NY. So I feel calm in my choice. 🙂

March 31 at 11:09pm
Hope you had a great day. It’s snowing here..inch already. Big white flakes coming straight down. Ah, nothing like April snow showers. Heh. Sleep well, sweet man. I love you dearly.  

What If Phil Was My Second

From: Sassy Girl 
Subject: Another revisionist history moment
Date: March 28, 2011 5:47:18 PM EDT
To: Phil

Hiya, kid,
Here’s the URL for another story.  This one is called “At the House July 1977”
and has a happy ending.  🙂
You can also see it by going to your google “documents” folder if you’re signed in gmail,
as I’ve shared it with you.  
As usual, it is recommended for reading while alone.  
Comments appreciated.  


At the House
July 1977 
Why does the doorbell always ring when I am washing dishes?  I had my hands deep in the soapy water one warm July afternoon right after I graduated from high school.  I grabbed a dishrag to dry my hands and ran to the other end of the house.   I flung open the inner door, and stood staring in amazement. 
Leaning against the doorjamb was Philip, my first boyfriend from four years ago.  He smiled sweetly and tapped on the screen door. I opened it and stepped back, waving him into the house.  He brushed past me into the living room, sighing at the cool air in the old house. 
“Howya doin, Sass?” he asked.  (Almost everyone called me Sassy.  He was the only person in the world who called me Sass.  So it made my insides tingle.)  I stood there dumbfounded.  
I could not believe it was him.  If I could wish for anyone to show up, he would be the one!  Even though he dumped me after we dated for three weeks and broke my heart in a million pieces, I still adored him.  Seeing him was always a double-edged sword.  On the one hand, it was great to be near him. He made me feel so alive!  I wanted to fall into his arms.  But on the other hand, he’d made it clear he didn’t want that, so I had to hide all that and be his pal.  It hurt to be near him and not touch him.  Arrgh!  I always hoped he’d change his mind, tell me he’d been a jerk and he wanted me back.  But everyone knows that never happens, right?  We stayed friends, until he disappeared to the military 18 months ago.  
He looked so gorgeous!  Even in well-worn denim shorts and an old Yankees t-shirt, he made me weak at the knees.  The military made him keep his hair too short, but he was still stunningly handsome.  He had grown a mustache!  I stared into his brown eyes, then took in his gorgeous shoulders and muscled chest.  I know he’s good looking, but it still hits me every time.  No other guy ever made me melt the way he did.  
“You alone?” He asked, looking around. He stared me up and down, taking in my very short shorts and tight top, and smiled.  
“Yup.  They went shopping,” I replied.  And then wondered if that had been wise.
He whipped around and asked,  “How about a hug for an old friend?” but he didn’t wait for answer.  He hugged me tightly, lifting me off the ground just a little.  I expected him to drop me with a bounce and back off, say something funny about how I’d grown.  He set me down very gently.  And he didn’t let go.  He kept holding me, breathing on my neck.  When I tried to lean back, he put his hands on my head and pressed me to his chest.   I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around his waist and waited, glorying in being close to him.  My brain brought up the words it always did when we were close, “wow…we fit.” 
He ran his hand down my long pony tail and cupped my ass, pressing me closer to him at the waist.  I shivered when I realized he was rock-hard, pressed against the top of my leg.  I felt this heat start to build inside me.  I waited… wondering if he was teasing me, or if something had changed.
He finally raised his head and stared into my eyes.  I raised an eyebrow, and he said, “Hi.”  If I didn’t know better, I would’ve sworn he was nervous.  But he was never nervous around me.   
“Hi,” I responded, smiling.  He stroked my face with one finger, and came even closer.
“Kiss me,” he whispered.  My eyes got very wide.  I closed them and pressed my lips against his.  He sighed and threaded his fingers into my hair, pulling it loose from the tie.  He pushed his tongue into my mouth. Oh!  It felt so amazing!  I sucked on it.  He moaned.  I pushed my tongue into his mouth.  He moaned ever lower.  He put his hands inside the back of my shorts and squeezed my ass, kneading my buns like fresh dough.  We carried on like that for quite awhile, dueling tongues, bodies angled together.  I never wanted it to end.  
He finally let me get a breath.  “Oh, girl… you are the best kisser…mmmm,” he murmured.  
He held me close, staring at me, gauging my reaction.  I learned long ago that I could not look interested.  Whenever I reached for him, he disappeared.  So even though ever fiber of my being was screaming for more, I shrugged my shoulders.  
“When will they be back?”  he asked.  I wondered whether I should tell him or not, without knowing what was up.  But I had never been able to keep anything from him.  He read me like book.  And I felt safe with him.
“After dinner,” I answered.  He pressed his forehead against mine.  He took my hand and pressed it between his legs.  “Touch me,” he whispered.  “Feel what you do to me.”  I squeezed him and pressed, and his eyes rolled back in his head.  I had never touched him when we were dating, thinking nice girls didn’t do that.  But I had learned a lot since then.  I could show him how I feel about him, even if I couldn’t tell him.  It was a great way to make him happy.  I unzipped his fly, and circled him with my fingers.   His knees began to buckle, so I stopped. 
“Don’t stop… so good… dreamed of this,” he panted.  He kissed me again and again.  I kept working on him with my hand, trying different things to see what reactions they caused.  I had no idea what to do and was very worried about hurting him, but each time I tried a slightly different angle, he moaned, so I kept going.  I was thinking about using my mouth on him when he spoke.  
“Are you still a virgin?” he asked, jumping ahead about six steps.  I leaned back to see the look on his face.  Was he teasing me?  I’m sure I looked a little shocked.  But he was completely serious and silent, awaiting an answer.  Being a virgin and staying that way had been a big deal to me when we were dating.   I did not want to answer, especially not before I knew what he wanted.  I turned away so I could think.  He stood just behind me.
“Why?” I asked. 
“Because I want to be the first one,” he whispered in my ear. That surprised me.  When we broke up, I thought it was because I wasn’t very good at the physical side of things.
“Why?”  I asked, feeling like an inquisitive three year-old. 
“Because I love you,” he said.   He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around into his arms again.  My mouth was definitely hanging open at this point.  It was the one thing in the world that I had always wanted to hear from him, and the last thing I ever thought I would hear him say.
“I could never find a way to tell you – you were dating someone, and then I went away, but all I could think about was getting home and taking you in my arms…” he stopped.  “Say something,” he begged.  
“I’ve always loved you,” I admitted for the first time.   It felt amazing to say it out loud at last!  But I was still afraid of his reaction.  He smiled the most brilliant smile I’ve ever seen.  He kissed me again, long… deep.  Oh, my.  This afternoon was certainly turning out to be very special.  
“I thought so.  Why didn’t you tell me?” he said when he finally came up for air.   I looked at him indulgently. 
“Maybe because you dumped me?  and told me you were in love with someone else?” I snarked. 
“I was a jerk.  I am so sorry.  Please forgive me?” he said the magic words.  He hugged me.  I could not believe it.  I wondered if I was dreaming.  Wouldn’t have been the first time….
“What do you want, Philip?” I asked. 
“I want to love you.  To make love to you, to show you how I feel, to make you feel good,” he said.  “You are the only one who makes me ache to be inside you.” My insides spun.
“You know I’m going steady, right?” I said. And I thought he was engaged.  
“I know.  So am I.  But none of that matters right now.  She’s right for me in a lot of ways, but not this way.  All I can think about at night is you,” he sighed.  “I can keep a secret, if you’re worried about your guy,” he volunteered.  The revelation that he had been thinking about me, that way, was so glorious, I almost missed the downside of it all.  He was not making any promises or “coming back to me.”  Was that something I wanted?  I started to ponder whether it would be worth it, or wreck everything, to grab this chance.  And what it said about me that I would even consider cheating on my boyfriend like this.  
“When are you leaving town?” I asked.
“Tomorrow morning.  24 hour pass.  Drove straight here, “ he told me.
“So… what’s all this mean?” I asked, probably pushing my luck.  
“Damned if I know,” he said.  He kissed me again, and started to lift my t-shirt.  I stayed his hand, trying for a few more moments to figure this out.  
“Let me touch you…please,” he whispered in my ear.  “You have such perfect tits…” he said in an almost-worshipful way.  I had wanted this for so long… it felt so right, like a big piece of the puzzle of my life falling into place.  He had said what I wanted to hear, and I couldn’t hold back any longer.  I pressed his hand under my shirt, placing it on my breast over my bra.  He sighed, sensing that I’d made up my mind, and kissed his way down my neck, to the line of the cup.  He exposed my nipple and put his mouth there.  He tugged with his teeth.  It felt like a direct line to my core.  I thought my knees were going to buckle.  He steadied me, whispering, “Can you show me your bed?”
I took his hand and led him up the front stairs.  He stopped me at the landing, pressing me against the wallpaper for another kiss.  He put his hand inside my shorts, dipping inside me briefly. 
“You are so wet,” he marveled.
“All your fault,” I said.  He growled under his breath. 
“You never answered my question,” he stated.
“Which one?” I stalled.
“Am I going to be the first?” he repeated.
“No… I wish you were,” I finally answered, worried that he would be disappointed or even angry.
“I figured.  Me neither.  I did it in February,” he admitted.  I was a little weirded out, because that’s when I had done it too. 
“Yes.  Me, too.  February, but it wasn’t… spectacular,” I admitted.  He raised an eyebrow, getting the oddness of the timing, even though he was two years older.
“Yeah.  Same here.  Not like what I feel right now, just standing here.  We will make it fabulous…I swear,” he said.
“I know.  You are always magic,” I admitted.
“I have condoms… I can protect you, and I’m clean,” he assured me, ever the gentleman.  
“Well, I’ve been on the pill since April, so no worries on that front,” I assured him.   Then worried that I had just told him I have sex all the time now. 
“Wow…things really have changed since I left,” he said, chuckling. 
I kissed him, tired of all these details, wanting to quit wasting the little time we had.
I dragged him up the stairs to my bed and sat down on the edge, staring at my bare toes, suddenly very shy. Philip sat down beside me and took my hand. 
“Nervous?’ he asked, picking up on my mood as usual.  I turned to stare into his eyes.  
“A little, “ I replied.  He stroked my arm.  
“You know I’d never force you to do anything, right?” he asked.
“I know.  It’s not that.  It’s just… I don’t think I’m very good at all this,” I confessed. 
“I don’t believe that for a second,” he said.  He leaned over to kiss me gently…. Once, twice, three times, light pecks on the lips.  Then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled us down onto the bed, deepening the kiss.  He was beside me, with his leg between mine.  I could feel him hard against my hip. 
“I want three things,” he explained, trying to reassure me.  “I want to taste you, I want you to touch me, and I want to be inside you,” he said.  
“Wow…” I said, my brain already losing the ability the strings words together. 
“Can you tell me what you want?” he asked.  I was stunned.  I had cuddled with a lot boys, and gone all the way with one, but no one had ever asked me what I’d like to do.  I just followed along.  Often unwillingly, enduring whatever the boy tried.  I thought I wasn’t supposed to think about it or talk much about it, that it would make me sound like a whore. 
“You okay?” he asked. 
“Yes.. I just… I’m not used to being asked,” I said.  “I want to make you happy,” I answered, thinking that’s what boys liked.  
“I want to make you feel good, too,” he said.  Now that was different.  “I want to help you cum,” he said.  I wasn’t sure what that meant, but was too afraid to say.  But he picked up on that right away.  
“You don’t know what that is, do you?” he asked.  I shook my head.  “What kind of selfish jerks have you been with?” he growled.  I balked at him calling the sweet boys jerks.
“Maybe they didn’t know…” I offered in their defense.  He scoffed.
“Okay. Here’s the short version – we touch each other.  We tell each other what feels good, so we can hone in on what’s best.  And make our bodies react in a way that sets off a chain of events.  For me, you know what happens, right?”
I nodded, lost in the image on him pounding into me and collapsing as he came.  He chuckled.  I swear the kid can read my mind!
“Good.  Well, something similar goes on inside you.  I’m no expert, but I hear you get very wet, and then the muscles start to twitch and then there this… high,” he said.  “Maybe you can tell me more about it in a few minutes, okay?” he said. 
I smiled at him.  It was boggling my mind how sweet he is.  “I haven’t felt that,” I admitted.  
“I’m sorry…but, you know what? I’m not sorry.  At least I will be the first for that,” he concluded.  
“You think you can make it happen?” I asked.  
“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckled.  “I’ve listened to a lot of guys and gals, and I’ve read a fair amount,” he added.  “And I also know that the emotional connection we have, which makes a big difference, is very special.  The mind has more to do with it than anything else,” he stated.  
He moved down my body, spreading fire wherever he touched.  He undid my shorts and rolled them off me, taking my underwear with them in one swift move.  Before I could fret about him looking at me, he leaned over and started licking me, flicking his tongue on my most sensitive spot.  My hips bucked at the contact and I squirmed.  He put his hands on my hips to steady me and dove in deeper, making a humming sound that send little vibrations into my core.  I started to go wild, running my fingers through his hair, trying to press him closer.  He raised his head a bit and I protested.
“Done that before?” he asked.  I shook my head, half in answer and half because he was driving me wild!  I’d never let anyone do that to me.  Another thing I thought nice girls didn’t do.  But it didn’t seem to matter anymore.  It was so… intimate.  
“Oh, I knew you would like that,” he said, chuckling.  “You are so hot.  You taste so good, just like I remember,” he sighed and went back to torturing me with his tongue.  He had tasted me on his fingers before.  I’d been a little grossed out by it at the time, but he seemed to like it a lot.
“I… it’s never been… you’re good,” I said.  He smiled against me, and started to move up my body, kissing my navel, then my tummy, taking my shirt and bra off as he went.  I was now completely naked.  He stared me up and down and I wanted to roll over, but he was half on top of me. 
“Don’t ever hide your gorgeous body,” he said, making his opinion clear.  “You are even more beautiful than my dream,” he said, sounding astonished. 
“You, sir, are way overdressed for this party,” I said as I began to take his shirt over his head.  I stared at his muscled chest, tanned from long hours in the sun.  It was the most amazing caramel color, the skin smooth and firm.  He rolled a little more on top of me, pressing his chest against mine and moaning a bit as our skin slid together. 
“Mmmmm… you drive me insane, you know,” he whispered very close to my ear.   I slid my hands onto his ass inside his shorts.  He shivered as I trailed a finger between his cheeks.  He rolled off me and shed them in one easy move.  
He rolled on top of me, spreading my legs with his knee.  He moved to the side a little, putting a finger inside me.  My hips bucked up and he smiled.  He pressed higher and I moaned.  He pulled out a bit and I whined.  He purred in my ear, “relax, concentrate on your center, feel my finger inside you, think about what else will be inside you soon,” in an almost-song-like rhythm in time with finger.  Just as I got used to this, he pulled out and pressed in again with two fingers.  I twisted in pleasure and moaned.  
“Good?’ he asked.  
“Oh yeah… so… so… amazing,” I panted.  He used his fingers to make me crazy.  I felt like I was on fire.  And that was a good thing. 
“This should help make it easier…You feel ready for me, are you?”  he asked.  I smiled.  I was very wary of taking this step, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world this time. “Tell me what you want,” he coached.
“I want you… inside me… way inside… all the way,” I intoned.  I had never said that to any boy…but somehow he made it okay.  
“When?” he teased me.
“NOW!” I shrieked.  “Please…” I begged… realizing he had gotten around all my taboos on not letting on how much I liked what he was doing.  
He put my hand on him again, and moved it up and down to show me what would please him.  I copied his movement, then added a slight pause to the beat.  He gasped when I started again.  I established the pattern… then paused longer.  He moaned… understanding my actions and how they were taking him higher.  
“That… making me wait… that is.. HOT!” he stated.  “I can’t believe you’re touching me… I have wanted this for so long,” he moaned.  
“Put me inside you…” he instructed, “control it,” he said, making it a joint effort.  I did as he asked, sliding him inside.  He pressed with his hips and was at my core.  He waited a long moment as the realization of where we were and exactly how close together we were dawned on both of us.  
“You are mine now, forever.  No matter where life takes us, it won’t change this,” he said.  “You will always be my girl,” he said.  It sounded ominous.  I decided to think about it later.  
“And you are mine, kid,” I added, bucking up toward him.  He didn’t speak but used his body to answer me, moving in and out, in and out, faster and faster.  
“This may take longer than you’re used to… because I want to wait for you to cum first,” he said.  “If you get sore or it stops being good, say so, okay?” he said.  I couldn’t concentrate on the words, but I got the spirit of them and nodded.  We rocked together, him thrusting inside me, me meeting his thrusts, moaning, thrashing… until suddenly I felt like I was exploding… or flying or… something was breaking free inside me… it was totally new… totally spectacular!  I felt flushed and started to sweat in a different way, and felt a coiling and uncoiling inside me… was this what he had been talking about?  All I could think was “wow…wow…WOW!” 
“Yea, baby, that’s it,” he said, answering my question without me voicing it.  Damn mind reader… I stopped thinking and started feeling… only him, him…. moving… moaning… he went completely frantic.  
I started chanting to him, “Do it.  Give it to me.  Let go… FUCK ME!” and he made one final grand push inside me and I felt three strong pulses, then he stilled.  I watched his face, so beautiful.  He collapsed on top of me.  He whispered, “Oh man…. oh…. mmmmmm…. I am so… you are so hot… damn, girl…I do love you,” and then he was quiet.  I lay there listening to my heart and his heart and trying to pay attention to everything going on in my body.  So many new sensations!  The first time I’d had sex, I lay there waiting for the boy to finish, thinking, “What that it?”  I was wondering what the big deal was, and why the adults kept this from the kids.  And why everyone wanted it.  Now, I began to understand.  
“That way was better, huh?” Philip asked.  Damn mind reader.
“I suppose,” I kidded him, winking.  He stared at me.  
“We’re magic, you know,” he said, in awe.
“Oh yes… I know,”  I said.  I started to get a little wistful, wondering why I would get to know that fact and likely never be here with him again.  He sensed my sadness and leaned down to kiss me… slowly, deeply… deeper… not at all the usual “I’m about done and taking off now” kiss.  He shifted slightly and I realized he was hard again.  I had not experienced that before. 
He rolled me on top of him and asked, “Ready for more?”  The surprise must have shown on my face, because he quickly added, “Are you sore?”  
“No…no….I’m fine, just…I haven’t, I mean..” I did not want to admit this was uncharted territory.
“You’ve never done it again right after?” he asked.  I looked away.  This was somehow just too much to discuss.  I wasn’t sure what the point of doing it again was… the guy had his way and that was it, right?  
“Um…. why do it again?” I asked, trying to get around my sudden shy spot.  Philip giggled.  
“Oh, man… why have two desserts?  Why see a double-feature?”  I still looked puzzled.  
“We’re going to try something different… it still feels good.  Why not feel good again?” he asked, being very patient.  He lifted me slightly and urged me to sit astride him, then pressed inside me again.  He moved his hips up and down, letting me ride him.  
“Can you, I mean… I thought,” I wasn’t sure how to ask if he could climax a second time.  
“Oh, yes… I can go all night,” he boasted.  He smiled in supreme self-confidence.  
“Use your knees,” he instructed, “to control the pace however you want.”  I did as he said, and then felt an incredible power wash over me.  I had been on top before, but only for a short time.  I had never done the last part except flat on my back.
“Can I stay here… I mean… can you finish with me up here?” I asked.  
“Oh yeah, baby…” he murmured, clearly already caught up in the magic again.  It was odd for me to have to think, to plan, to control the movement.  But I got used to idea, especially when I saw the look of absolute bliss on his face.  He lay there briefly, reveling in my moves, then started using his hands to up the ante.  He toyed with my breasts, distracting me just a little, then pressed a finger at the top of my slit at my most sensitive spot.  That shot fire throughout my body… I could not concentrate!  I focused and kept moving, stopping now and then to reset the pace.  He thrashed a bit and I settled back down on him, leaning over so that my hair formed a curtain around us.  He looked around in wonder, watching our bodies move together.  
“You… make me… feel… so… so…” he couldn’t finish his thought as I twisted slightly, driving him even deeper.  
‘So wet… so tight… so hot…” he chanted.  He grabbed my hips to steady me and rose off the bed to get closer still.  I sat straight up, tilted my head back, sank down on him and stopped… feeling my insides churn.  He pulsed and came again, filling me with his juices.  I had never felt so alive.  
I straightened out and cuddled against him, breathing loudly.  He stroked my back.  
“Understand now?” he asked, grinning against my cheek.
“Maybe,” I teased him.  “But you might have to explain again.”  
“Believe me when I say it would be my pleasure,” he answered.    
“What time is it?” I asked, coming back to reality with a thud.   I twisted around to look at the alarm clock on the nightstand.  “Eeek….it’s nearly 7 pm.  You have to get out of here.  They could be back any moment,” I shrieked, jumping out of the bed and pulling on clothes.  
“Go to dinner with me?”  he asked.  “Stay with me…” he begged.  
“Can you be seen with me?” I said, aware of how small our town is, and how people talk.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said, as he finished dressing.  We ran down the stairs.  I grabbed a pencil and paper and wrote a note at the kitchen table – “Philip showed up.  Going out to eat.  7:00 pm. “ 
As we went out the door to his car, my dad turned up the street headed to the garage.  I waved.  We ran out to the car, and hopped in, then sat there laughing at our escape.  He pulled me across the seat, gathered me into his arms, and kissed me.  
“You should drive right now,” I said.  He started the car up and took off.  He drove around the end of the block, across the street and up the driveway of the elementary school, then pulled around back, into the slot between the wings.  He turned the car off and grabbed me again, kissing me soundly.  I was astonished that he had not gotten tired of me.  
“I will never get tired of you,” he said as he held me, breathing hard. My mind reading man!  

ICU weekend

Friday, March 25
8:09 am Good morning!  Beautiful, sunny 32.  Cuddly cat at my feet.  TGIF!  Body bad but mind great!  Have a fabulous Friday!
11:22 am Phil: Good morning!
11:53 am Hey, kid.  Hope your day is peachy.  Weird day – at work but wicked short of breath.  Called nurse – going to MGH.  Ick.  Waiting for Hubby to take me.  In better news, I was awake at 4 am, saw awesome pix of a cock, then dreamed of us in an outdoor shower at a beach…Mmmmm.  That made me, um, smile. 
1:17 pm @MGH getting chest xray.  Do I know how to start the weekend off or what? 🙁 Tell me something bawdy?
1:21 pm Phil: Open wide and say mmmmmmm.  [photo of his cock in the shower]
1:25 pm Phil:  Bawdy enough?
1:30 pm Ha!  I adore you.  That looks delicious. 😉
1:30 pm Phil: May have been a bad idea for someone with Chest issues.
1:36 pm Phil:  I try. 🙂
3:01 pm Just had CAT scan.  Saw oncologist.  Being admitted overnight.  Yippee.
3:09 pm Phil: Oh yuck.  Hospital food!  🙂  Pitueee
6:52 pm Hiya!  Keeping a parade of docs, nurses and techs busy.  Five different specialists so far!  Oncology, cardiology, pulmonary, vascular, and ICU specialists!  Blood clots in my lungs!  Fixable.  Whee.  Here for the weekend.  Bleh.  Hope you have a good one!
7:36 pm Phil: Let them take care of you Sass.  Praying.
9:13 pm Feeling good actually, oxygen rocks!  In icu now, so they can monitor heart.  What’s new w/ you?
10:18 pm Phil: Not much.  Beers at the club and nodding off on the couch.
10:19 pm Glad to hear you are feeling good.  Having legs ultrasound soon.  
Saturday, March 26
7:12 am   Good morning!  Pretty sunrise over Bunker Hill monument.   Wishing for bacon.  Not allowed to eat.  Bleh.  Hope you get to relax and enjoy!
8:22 am Phil: Heading to work out.  I’m guessing no bacon for you.  They make chocolate covered bacon here.  Gotta try it I guess.
8:27 am Yay gym!  No food since Fri – argh!  Had choc bacon once.  Evil but awesome!  Like choc pretzel (salty, sweet) but good greasy too.  Yum.  Have a good sweat
8:30 am Phil: Thank you!
11:30 am There once was a lady called Sassy, who breathing went kinda half-assy.  After tests to find why, they said lung clots, oh, my, but she knew twas cause she‘d thought of Philip’s chassis! 
11:30 am yes, I am bored and silly. 🙂
11:45 am Phil: I imagine so.  I always take my kindle or IPAD so I have something to occupy me.  I hate being in the hospital.  At least you are maintaining your sense of humor!
3:17 pm They let me eat!  No bacon, but lemon Italian ice.  Yum.  Hope you’re having a good day.

Feel Better
Between You and Phil
Phil March 26 at 10:44pm
Hope you sleep well. Had an amazing Mexican dinner, great Margaritas. I know, you had shitty hospital food. Hope you are feeling better.
March 26 at 10:54pm
About to get a sponge bath. Yippee. Nothing like cute male nurses! Sleep well, sweet man.
March 26 at 11:38pm
Done, clean. Yay! Thinking of kissing you. Different places… Mmm. None of this hospital crap has affected my libido! 
Sunday sunrise
Between Phil and You
March 27 at 7:32am
Good morning! Another awesome sunrise over Boston. Been pacing my hospital room, must keep active. What’s up for you today? Hope it’s great!
Phil March 27 at 8:21am 
Looks like a chilly, sunny day. Got some work planning to do and then a relaxing afternoon I hope before another busy week.

Phil March 27 at 2:57pm
Libido! LOL! When do they free you?

March 27 at 4:36pm
Hoping tomorrow. Feeling great – they took me off IV and are letting me walk around the halls! It freaks them out because they don’t usually have patients who can walk and talk. Sis was here, telling me about her trip to Spain.  Crap always happens when she is gone!  How’re you? I tried to be good and not bug you while you were working…
March 27 at 4:40pm
I should explain that they’ve said I don’t belong in ICU, but there aren’t any beds elsewhere. They stopped pestering me w/ all the monitors and are just tinkering w/ the right med levels to make sure no more clots.
March 27 at 10:57pm
Hey, kid. Good evening? Wicked boring here…
March 27 at 11:54pm
Bed for me. Thank you for sending healing thoughts my way – sure its helping. Sleep well, sweet man. Hope you have a sexy dream and tell me about it. 😉
March 28 at 6:20am
Good morning! I hope you have a great Monday!
Phil March 28 at 7:55am 
Morning! Hope its a great one! This one is off to a good start. Gorgeous Sunrise!
March 28 at 5:13pm
Hiya, kid. I made it home. Planning to shower and snooze! I hope you had a productive day.
March 29 at 12:32am
It’s so good to be home. Sleep well, sweet man.

The old photo

Sunday slide
Between Phil and You
March 20 at 7:26am
Good morning! 30 now, another sunny 40s day. Hope to get caught up on housework. Have a great day!
March 21 at 12:10am
Hope you had a good evening. Bed for me. Sleep well, kid.

Monday matters
Between Phil and You
March 21 at 8:17am
Good morning! Happy Spring! Gray 37, no precip yet. Might get to the office before it hits! Yippee. Have a fine Monday!
Phil March 21 at 8:27am
Nice here. Glad the rain headed any place but here. Feel great, ready for the week! Sound of staff getting to work always gets me revved up in the morning, that and espresso. Have a great day!

March 21 at 10:09am
Glad you’re on the upswing! Sister called from Segovia, Spain! She’s a tourist while her husband’s in meetings. Off to do payroll! Whee!
Phil March 21 at 10:54am 
Cool. Have fun.

March 21 at 1:26pm
Payroll’s done! And it’s SNOWING! Big, fluffly flakes… nothing like New England’s first day of Spring. Oh, and I adore you. 🙂
March 21 at 4:01pm
Hope you had a productive day. Headed home in the snow – not sticking, thank god. H’s out tonight for a project meeting. So I’m on my own w/ the pusscats.
March 21 at 11:03pm
If I told you that you have a great body, would you hold against me? 🙂 Chemo is kicking my ass. Say something to make me forget it. Bonus points for use of the word cock. Sleep well, kid.
Phil March 21 at 11:13pm
Perhaps if you were bent over the kitchen sink with a hard cock pounding that pussy, you would feel better.
Phil March 21 at 11:27pm
Then lubricate that tight ass with saliva slipping a finger inside before taking that ass with my cock, fucking your ass till I flood it with cum.

Phil March 22 at 7:58am
Good morning. Hope you are feeling better. Rainy here but warmer,  wearing shorts which is cool

March 22 at 5:25pm
Hey, kid. Thanks for the distraction. Perfect. Wow. wow. wow.

March 24 at 12:00pm
Remember this guy? [He sent a photo of himself at age 16]

March 24 at 2:35pm
Yes. Vividly. *sigh*
Philip…Thanks for springing that on me in the middle of work day! If I did that, you’d smack me for sure!
What happened with your other FB acct? I wanted to compare this photo with one of your son…he looks a lot like you!
Just when I think I can’t possibly ache any worse for you, you send me to look at that. And I want you more than ever before. Ooof. It unlocked a bunch of memories. And set me on fire! I loved that boy so frickin’ much! He was so sweet. And HOT! with his laugh, his arms around me, his lips on me, and his long fingers inside me. And that cross necklace… damn it. It half rips my heart out and half makes me burn for you.
You can’t have expected this…and I shouldn’t admit it. But that photo makes me want to move heaven and earth to be with you. I know there are very good reasons we haven’t done that, but looking at the photo I forget why. Would we be a good team every day? Would the comfort and the magic carry over? Would we kill each other the first week? Or get bored? Or chase each other around the kitchen and fuck over the sink every day and twice on Sundays?! 

I don’t want to wonder about all that together forever stuff… dangerous territory. For all I know, you don’t want that and isn’t even fair to ask. I’m just an old girlfriend you have some fun with.

I know… I know… Such a fuss over one old photo. But holy cow… it couldn’t be more perfect in terms of what I remember. And the way you are looking out at me… yikes.
Never mind all this. Thanks for the photo! Pat me on the head and I’ll go back to work.

Anti-Funk Cream

[Tuesday March 22 – Philip’s Facebook account disappeared, so I switched back to text and wondered if it was yet another step in shutting me out.]
Tuesday, March 22
11:25 pm Hope you had a good day.  I stayed home.  Chemo sucks.  But improving now.  Hubby away overnight for sleep study.  Sleep well, kid,
Wednesday, March 23
7:16 am Good morning!  Cold and gray, 32, more snow later.  I feel good, headed to the office.  Have a great day!  Spread joy!
8:11 am Phil: Another decent day.  Gonna be packed.  Tons of meetings and events going on.  Got a clean bill of health yesterday, heart, lungs vacular, liver,  kidneys, blood sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure all good and better than expected for a man of my years.  Doc said, what ever you are doing is working extraordinarily well, keep it up!  Nice to hear! 
8:36 am Yay for good health!  I certainly do appreciate your keen mind and fit body.   🙂  Rock on!
8:44 am Phil: No one said anything about mental health!   🙂
11:23 am You’re more right-headed than anyone I know!  It’s sunny, despite forecast. I have such an urge to go for a walk w/you, laughing, kissing.  Life is grand!
3:23 pm  Lunch out w/handsome project peep, helping him find a new job.  Got free gumbo and crawfish etouffee!  Yum.  Still no snow!
3:40 pm Phil: I love etouffee!  Yum!
5:38 pm Done w/ almost huge pile of invites to a big reception at work!  Have a great evening!
6:28 pm Phil:  Ha ha ha.  Have a great evening!  [Photo of a chest with a blue t-shirt saying “Hey, RED SOX! At this rate it’ll take you 394 more years to catch our current total!  1903 NY 2009]
9:04 pm Heh… Makes me wonder what they’re afraid of…
10:41 pm Quiet night… saw NCIS online… Gibbs is so smooth!  Off to bed.  Head full of you, wish body was.  J  Sleep well, sweet man.  Dream of tall, dark wench.
10:54 pm Will I ever be where I can say to a man “I feel like being touched tonight” and it happens?  Life is so strange… don’t mind me.  Hot and no cure.  Heh. 
Thursday, March 24
7:56 am Phil:  Ahhhh, working myself into a funk.  So damn busy.  I  need a weekend.  Hope you have a good day!
8:12 am Good morning!  Sending you Sassy’s patented anti-funk cream – take w/ espresso and donut and 3 deep breaths – it’ll be better!
8:19 am Phil: Did espresso and 3 breaths,  no donut.  Thanks!   🙂
5:43 pm Home alone w/ the cats again!  H out working on his project.  Thinking of pizza maybe.  Hope you had a good day.
9:58 pm Chemo sucks.  Low red cells – Light-headed ick.  So ready for this to be over.  Bed now.  Sleep well, kid.  Dream of Boston Cream.   🙂
11:53 pm Phil: The end of the day.  Taking care of business [photo of his cock in hand in the shower]
11:53 pm Phil: ummmmmmmMmmmm [photo of cock and cum in the shower]

Gloomy day chat

Sunday, March 20 chat

1:28pm Phil Hey girl, how you doing?
1:29pm Good.  You?
Busy day?
1:34pm Phil  Ok, sipping crown, watching the rain
1:35pm Thinking about… ?
1:37pm Phil Life and all its quirks
1:37pm Ah…
1:39pm Phil I think on some days that I have no clue. 
Work is the one thing I have always been sure of. 
I know how to do that. The rest gets complicated.
1:40pm Indeed.
1:41pm Phil  I am making jambalaya, 
cooking is very calming and makes the house smell great
1:43pm Nice that you have can create something yummy while calming..
1:45pm Phil Plus I get to eat it
1:45pm heh
1:45pm Phil Ready for the week to start. Occupies my time and my mind
1:45pm Sure.
Emo week.
1:46pm  Phil Have not figured how to read your story yet
1:46pm You can’t see it?
Log in to gmail, click on documents
(tab at the top)
it should be here?
1:50pm Phil Ok
1:50pm See it?
More of a late night thing to read maybe…
it’s… hmmm.. sexy. 
2:00pm Phil I agree
2:01pm Did you find a bunch of docs there?
I think I’ve shared 8…
Did the dogs miss you?
2:13pm Are you wearing a football shirt?
The Yankees are winning their Spring training game…
a rare thing this Spring! 
Did something boil over or what?
2:39pm Tell me something…
2:39pm Phil  Had to put stuff in the pot
I have a gmail account but have to log into google. 
I.ll figure it out
2:42pm just go to
but nevermind.
what happens when you click on the URL?
Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?  
See if I can help?  Or talk about lobster?
or are you over it by now?
2:48pm  Phil Found it as soon as I quit being foolish
I’m ok, cooking now watching the race
Keyboard kicking my ass
2:50pm Phil Miss old friends, kids, the beach
2:50pm What race?  NASCAR again?
2:52pm Phil Nascar
2:54pm Any idea what would cheer you up? 
Go to the gym?
2:55pm Phil I get like this. 
May go to the gym or to the office. It helps. 
One of those gloomy days
2:55pm Sure.
We’re in for it tomorrow.  
Combo of work, rain and chemo will probably kick my ass
2:57pm Phil Could be. I’ll be good with work. It’s so busy, I love the pace
2:57pm DId they cover a lot while you were gone or will you be swamped?
2:58pm Phil Rain is ok. 
May read a little. Always cheers me up too
Going to go do something
2:58pm Ok.hugs
Ping me later? 
Would love to shove my tongue down your throat tonight…
2:59pm Phil I spent 5 hours catching up yesterday. 
Spoke to them daily while away
Sounds like a plan
2:59pm Heh
I’m off to get some lunch… enjoy!
Gotta get in the shower… leave you with that thought.  🙂  <3

Rollins Quote

From: Sassy Girl
Subject: Interesting quote from the Carroll blog
Date: March 20, 2011 9:01:41 AM EDT
To: Phil

Hi, Philip, 
Where you talking to the famous author, Henry Rollins, last summer?  Eerie…
Reminded me again how glad I am that you found me.  And told me you were thinking about me. 🙂
From the Carroll blog
“Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have.”
Henry Rollins

From: Phil
Subject: Re: Interesting quote from the Carroll blog
Date: March 20, 2011 10:05:34 AM EDT
To: Sassy Girl