Category Archives: Sassy’s Past

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My Valentine 2012 Part 5 Lessons

If you missed the other parts of Simon’s story, click here

Part 1 – Planning
Part 2 – Hotel Picnic
Part 3 – Slow Sex
Part 4 – In my mouth

— Part 5 Lessons
Thursday, February 16

Simon touched my shoulder to wake me about 6:50 am, then leaned over to kiss me.  He whispered, “Thank you and good bye.”

I sighed and whispered back, “You made it very special, Simon.  Thank you.”

He was headed to airport right after his meetings, so he left the keys and told me not to lock myself out.  He checked to be sure he had his belongings.  And he was gone at 6:55 am.  

I felt a little sad to see him leave, but not overly so.  We’d had fun, it was very sexy and that was enough.  I puzzled over how I could do all that with someone where I didn’t love him or know his name or much about him, but I just did it and it was incredible.

I marveled that he had wanted me.  It gave me a huge boost in confidence!  

I was amazed I was not worried about whether I would see him again and what it all meant.  Even if I never saw him again, I had learned so much.  Totally worth it!
I marveled that I wanted him, even if he wasn’t big and tall.  None of that mattered in bed.  Via la chemistry!  
I dressed, packed and called Hubby at 9 am to tell him I was okay and warn him I’d want to pick him up in a bit and drop me to work.  
I texted Simon, “Hope your day is off to a good start.  Heading out… thanks is way too simple to get across how I feel… you make me smile.  And feel better about myself.”  About an hour later, I got back a smiley.  
I am so glad I saw him.  We seem like lonely travelers on a hard road who could help each escape all that for a little while, make each other feel good, and boost our confidence to help us find someone else.  
I made it back to the city easily, picked up Hubby, let him get his breakfast and drove to work.  I tried to work, but could not – my head was so full of Simon!   So there I was at work, typing away, trying to get it all this down and perhaps be able to think of something else.  Though thinking of him was lovely and I hope always will be.  
I got a hug on Valentie’s Day for the first time in twelve years!  Such an amazing Valentine!

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My Valentine 2012 Part 4 In my mouth


If you missed the other parts of Simon’s story, click here

Part 1 – Planning
Part 2 – Hotel Picnic
Part 3 – Slow Sex

— Part 4 In my mouth
Wednesday, February 15th

I didn’t hear him leave.  I woke up about 8:45 am.  He had left me a very sweet note on the desk, saying he’d had a great time and I was welcome to come back if I could deal with him being distracted.  I worried about what he would say to our friend… he told me to write what he should say and he’d stick to it!  Ha ha!  I texted him a sentence about how I am not a troll and we had fun.  He said that looked good. 
I dressed and gathered all my stuff, feeling especially fuzzy and scattered from lack of sleep and all the emotions in the night.  I packed and took everything out to the car except my suitcase.  Then decided to go back and get it, just in case something happened and I could not go back.  I drove home intending to go right to bed.  I ended up taking care of emails, reading blogs, checking work email etc.  I finally got to bed about 3 pm and slept until Sis called me at 5:15 pm.
I texted Simon, told him I was thinking about his amazing hands.  He sent back a smiley.  Then said he would be back in the room between 9 and 10 pm, most likely on the late side.  Hubby ordered a pizza and I had a couple pieces.  I texted Simon about 8:30 pm telling him I was heading out.  I drove back to the hotel.  
Just as I was arriving about 9:30 pm, he texted that he was arriving too!  He pulled in as I got to the door and I opened it and let him in.  I handed him the key card and he opened the hotel room door.  I set down my stuff and he enveloped me in a big hug and a couple of kisses then said he was so tired and still had four things to do!  I stepped away and settled in the far corner of the bed with my computer.  I told him I was not going to distract him, but that I was available for distraction if he wanted.  He thanked me and went to work at the desk.  
Periodically, he would flump down next to me on the bed, close his eyes for a few moments, then grab me for a kiss.  He’d smile as if he was being recharged, then go back to work for a bit.  Four or five times he did that!  It was so sweet!!  He said he was talking to our friend online.  He told her I was very smart and using an Apple computer!  That was certainly discreet.  
Finally about 12:30 am, he admitted he could not see straight and needed to sleep.  I took off everything except my underpants, and he was already under the covers with his eyes closed.  The second I hit the bed, he rolled over and started kissing me, pausing to say, “I am sooo glad you came back tonight.”  
He proceeded to stroke me, get at that spot on my back again and then work his way down to put his fingers inside me.  I asked if he could put his mouth there, and he agreed heartily.  He pulled me down to the edge of the bed and hugged me, than pressed me to lie back and attacked me with his mouth, expertly sucking and biting and plunging his tongue inside me.  It felt amazing and my hips went wild.  He crawled back up my body and kissed me, then asked what I was thinking, and I said, “Juices.  Yours, mine, together.”  He nodded and smiled.  
He came back to lie beside me and we talked a bit more, then I decided to return the favor.  He asked me what I was doing, and I said, “I was going to get cum in my mouth.”
He gasped and closed his eyes as I made my way down his body, nibbling his nipple, kissing his belly button, then taking his shaft into my hand, blowing on him, licking then sucking him deep.  I used one hand to twist him up and in, then the other hand went to his balls and finally to his ass.  He seemed very surprised and pleased.  I asked if he could see what I was doing and he said no, he could only feel right now and it was incredible!  He got a little flustered, warning me that he was going to cum… and I hummed in ascent and his hips went nuts, fucking my mouth as I sucked him in deep and he came.  It was easy to swallow and press a finger into his ass in the same rhythm, which I did until he softened.

I worked my way back up his body and kissed him with my mouth closed but in a way that offered him an open-mouthed kiss if he wanted to taste our mixed juices.  He opened his mouth tentatively, then pressed a tongue inside me and mmmm’d.  
He stayed very still and I sat up beside him, leaning against the headboard.  He said, “That was the hardest I’ve ever come in my life.  I can’t move!”  
He chuckled.  I told him he didn’t have to move.  He stayed there for a long time, holding my hand, telling me stories.  He finally got up to clean up, and prep for another 7 am start, then came back and cuddled under the covers, talking about karma and how bad things happen to people who are mean to him, and I shared my stories, too.  He said he’d try not to wake me in the morning, but I told him I’d like to kiss him good bye.  He asked if he seemed the same in real life as online. I said he was much sweeter and better looking.  He smiled.  I asked if I was and he said yes, but less silly!  He hugged me and I stroked his face and chest until he fell asleep.  I dropped off about 2:30 am with a big smile on my face.  
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My Valentine 2012 Part 3 Slow Sex

If you missed the other parts of Simon’s story, click here

Part 1 – Planning
Part 2 – Hotel picnic

— Part 3 Slow Sex
After a great picnic, I was lying next to Simon on my stomach on the hotel bed, watching a BBC sitcom on his iPad.  When the episode finished, he smiled at me then got rather serious, though trying to be casual, and asked, “So… are you going to stay?”  
I was not sure what he meant exactly, but gathered this was his way of asking if I was interested in touching him.  I looked at him and smiled, then leaned over to kiss him on the forward and whispered, “I’d like that.”

As I started to pull away, he kissed me quickly on the lips.  Just a peck.  And then another.  And then he wrapped him arms around me and pressed us together side by side on the bed.  The kissing went on and on… he finally let me get a breath and whispered in amazement, “Whoa… you are an amazing kisser!”  I nodded and winked, “You are pretty hot stuff yourself.”  He kissed me a bit more, then whispered in my ear, “I could do this all night.”  I chuckled, thinking “Yeah, right… not likely.”  I’ve only been with men who were in a big hurry to climax, especially the first time, so I was very confused by his lack of going on to other things.  

I licked his ear, biting the lobe gently and breathing in quickly.  He shivered and moaned, saying, “Wow… you know how to get to me,” and started rubbing my back and twisting against me.  He took things really slowly, kissing for a long time, then pressing between my legs through my pants with his palm.
He stopped and said, “I want to do a lot more.”  I nodded, already too dazed to form any coherent speech.  
He asked me, “Do you need to know my name?”  I tried to think about it, but realized it did not matter at all.  
“No,” I replied.  “Are you okay with not knowing mine?” He thought for a moment, and nodded.  
“It is much safer if we don’t share… but I will if you need me to?” he offered.  I kissed him on the nose and told him I was fine.  
He started kissing me again, stroking my arm, then eventually taking off my shirt and bra, (with one hand behind my back!) and finally I unbuttoned his dress shirt and pulled off his white undershirt.  He pulled me into his arms on the bed.  I adore that first moment when skin touches skin!  We cuddled for a long while with him running his hands over my chest and back, sucking and biting gently, in a very worshipful sensuous manner.  He found a spot on my back that caused quite a reaction (I had not known about it!)  I came so hard!  He stopped now and then to cool off, and talked more, starting the entire track again each time – kissing, gentle touching and only then more.
There was no crushing fire, just a slowly building burn.  I began to get impatient, and starting talking a little dirty to him and rubbing between his legs.  He put his hand inside my slacks, finding my clit with his index finger.  He flicked a bit, then finally put his fingers inside me when I begged.  I think he wanted to be very sure that I wanted each escalation.  
He got up to take off his dress pants, and a lovely pair of dark blue silk boxers appeared.  I rubbed his firm ass, then pulled his beautiful cock from his underwear and put my mouth on him.  He had a lovely shape, long and elegant.  He said, “Only if you want to,” and held my head gently.  He moaned dramatically, and exclaimed, “Oh! Oh, you are going to make me blow!” and pulled me away.  He said, “Sorry… this first time I am so worked up… not going to last long and I wouldn’t be any good to you after that.”  
I returned to his mouth for more kisses, and I finally said, “I want you to fuck me.”  He sighed, and said, “Are you sure?  We don’t have to,” and I wondered if he wanted to.  He checked inside me again with his fingers to make sure I was ready, helping me take off the rest of my clothes, then went away to get a condom! I adore it when the man takes care of it as a matter of course!  He put it on quickly, and said not to be offended, that it was for my protection as well.  I assured him it was fine and that I appreciated him being so thoughtful.  
He rested on top of me, squirming and pressing against me.  It didn’t seem like a good position, so he asked me what might be better.  I said doggie style, and he was a little surprised, but we shifted around he grabbed my ass and pressed inside me.  I was surprised that he was not hard, but had read that happens, especially with condoms.  He worked in and got harder, saying he was really nervous.  I told him it was just me, relax… don’t think… and he got much harder and pressed deeper inside.  Then he said, “Oh, wow… you are so hot… and tight” and “I am not going to last at all!’  He gripped my ass very tightly and I pressed back against him and he came.  He apologized and I assured him that it was very flattering.  He said, “But I will still be able to help you out.”  He put his fingers inside me and used his other hand to rub my clit until I came again.  
He went off to clean up and I collapsed.  He said, “Don’t move,” and I had no urge to do so.  He explained that he needed to prep for the work day, so he wouldn’t have to do it when he woke up in a daze.  He said he had meetings  from 7 am to 6 pm, then had to take his managers out for supper so he wouldn’t be back in the room until late.  He said I was welcome to stay, or come back but he had a lot of work to do and would be distracted.  I said I would like to come back, that it could be the same as IMing, with him multitasking, and perhaps I could help.  He came back to bed, gathered me into his arms, kissing me deeply, stroking me in the most amazing way.  We suddenly realized that it was 4 am!  He had to get up at 6:30 am to make a 7 am meeting.  Ugh.  I tucked him in, cuddled up behind him  and was quickly asleep myself.  It was such a treat to be able to drift off touching a man!

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My Valentine 2012 Part 2 Hotel Picnic

[If you missed the first part of Simon’s story, click here.]

— Part 2 Simon’s Hotel Picnic

Tuesday, February 14th – Valentine’s Day
So the day dawned.  I went to work and tried not to fret about meeting Simon tonight.  I told Philip I was seeing a friend in town on business and he was excited for me.  I collected picnic incidentals from work – utensils, condiments, napkins leftover from catered meals – and went home to pack.  I ended up with 4 bags – regular tote, laptop, suitcase, and a bag of groceries.  I watched Simon’s flight come across the country.  I adore flight tracker!  
I loaded my car and headed out to Whole Foods to get picnic foods.  Just as I was ready to check out, Simon texted that he had landed!  I texted back “Yay!  Welcome to Boston.” He asked if he should call me now or after he got his rental car and was on the road.  It had not occurred to me that I’d have to talk to him on the phone.  That seemed too hard.  But I texted back “Whatever.” I checked out and lugged the goodies to to my car.  He called me.  He sounded like I had thought – young, Texan, calm, patient, nervous but excited.  And understanding of how odd this was.  A blind date in the extreme!
I took off to the suburbs to the hotel.  He texted me when he started out from Logan and I let him know I was on the way too.  I got there ahead of him and sat in my car reading Facebook on my phone.  My sister called to check on me.  Simon called about half an hour later to say he was in room.  By chance, I had parked in the closest spot to it.  It was the last room on the first floor near the parking lot door.  
He came out to help me carry in stuff.  I stood beside my car and he walked toward me.  I hugged him and held on.  It was a good feeling.  He sighed and held on to me.  Then remembered himself and noted that we shouldn’t do anything outside.  I grabbed all my bags and he took a couple.  We strolled back to the hotel.  
We chatted nervously as he unlocked the door.  He said to give him a few minutes to unpack a bit and plug in all his gadgets.  I took a moment to look him over – he had on a blue dress shirt, dress pants and dark socks and shoes.  He was trim and my height.  I realized the photo he had sent me was years old.  He had been working out since then!  I liked the look of him better than his photo!  I smiled, trying to get an idea of his impression of me, but he was preoccupied.  I set out food on the desk and he turned in amazement to stare at the buffet of treats: 
  • Shrimp Cocktail and sauce
  • Popcorn (for the movie he’d suggested we watch) 
  • Cape Cod Potato chips (for local flavor)
  • Meats – Turkey, Ham and roast beef slices
  • Cheeses – Swiss and Monterey Jack slices
  • Pasta salad with peas, celery and tomatoes
  • Crackers
  • Taramousalata Greek cavier dip
  • Fruit – sliced mango and strawberries
  • Sweets – Chocolate covered potato chips and Lake Champlain chocolates
  • Sparkling Apple Cider for a festive beverage

He said there was no way he could eat much of this.  I said not to worry… I brought stuff from home and got an assortment because I had no clue what he’d like.  He asked for the Whole Foods receipt and repaid me in cash.  I felt odd having him pay, but it was much cheaper than a lobster dinner!  I was so nervous, I forgot to take a photo of the food! 

We sat on the end of the bed to snack and chat.  We started to share bits of personal information – my employer, our colleges, stories that required some history, trying to show that we trusted each other.  It seemed interesting but unimportant.  He pulled out his iPad and asked me enter tunes into Pandora.  I picked Frank Sinatra and Lady Gaga!  He went out in the hall to call his wife.  
We listened to tunes and talked more, then he pulled up a BBC comedy, “IT Crowd.”  We lay next to each other on our stomachs, he cuddled up next to me, and we giggled over the trite jokes about computer help desk employees.  After one episode he said he’d corrupted my mind enough and put it away.  He smiled at me then got rather serious, though trying to be casual, and asked, “So… are you going to stay?”  

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My Valentine 2012 Part 1 Picnic plan

For a special Valentine’s week treat, I will tell you the story of Simon, my Valentine for 2012.

[Caveat: For those of you who only want to read about Philip and Sassy, skip the Simon posts this week!  My life took a brief detour from the fairy tale a year ago, so if you don’t want to read about another man and me, move along!]

— Part I Simon’s picnic plan
A friend of mine online asked me to talk to a friend of hers who needed cheering up.  He was shy and didn’t want me to know much real life info about him, so he called himself Simon Templar.  When I asked him about it, he pointed me to the wikipedia article about the old TV show “The Saint.”  The lead character was a suave do-gooder, a mixture of James Bond and Robin Hood, played by Roger Moore, of the James Bond movies fame.  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFaIhXEt6hg
We chatted many nights until the wee hours.  He was in Texas, so it was earlier for him, though he never seemed to sleep.  He was smart, sweet and funny!  He admitted he worked for a biotech company based in Boston, and would be traveling here for training at some point. He offered to buy me a lobster dinner!  He had no idea that was my favorite thing… 
I told him about years of no sex with my husband, and my adventures with Philip.  He shared the sad tale of his marriage – his wife had locked him out of the bedroom after their second son was born years ago.  It’s a story I hear all too often in my travels around the infidelity support world.  I worked my magic, making him laugh and not being shocked that he was trying to find a married lady online who would be a “friend with benefits.”  I helped him work on his ad, hoping he would find a lovely lady.  Like me, he had very little confidence anyone would be interested.  
I fantasized about a tall dark slim handsome older man, kissing me pressed up against his rental car after dinner.  He sent me a photo.  He had beautiful dark hair, but he was young, short, and chubby!  And Hispanic!  Wow!  It made me realize how white-bread my lovers have been.  It had never occurred to me to wonder about someone’s ethnic or racial background.  It didn’t matter – I would have been interested in any race – but it was another variable to consider.  I didn’t have a sexy response to the photo at all – he looked like a chocolate lab puppy I’d like to pat on the head!  But he had a great smile and was very cute.  So I thought of him as a friend.  
He pestered me for a photo or video chat, but I steadfastly refused, sure that my very short gray hair (still not grown out much from chemo) and curvy body were not going to entice him, and might kill his fantasies as his photo had mine.  And I never shared my face with anyone online except Philip.  
Ten days ago, Simon IM’d me to say that he was going to say something I probably didn’t want to here.  He said he was going to kill my fantasies by asking to have dinner on Valentine’s Day.  I was really excited to meet him!  I explained that it wasn’t my fantasies I was worried about but his, and that it would be great to see him.  He seemed very surprised and pleased, though worried that I wouldn’t be able to make it on the holiday. I assured I could celebrate earlier with Hubby.

We made plans slowly, focusing on little details day-by-day.  It turned out that his flight would get in late… dinner out was going to be tough.  So I volunteered to bring a picnic to his hotel room.  I know, I am an idiot, saying I’d go to the room of a strange man. But I had been talking to him for 2 months, and I checked with my friend, who said he is a shy, nice guy.  We were very clear that it would be fun to talk and if more developed, fine.  And if not, fine.  We joked about how it might be the only way either of us would get a hug on Valentine’s Day.  I had no expectation that he would want more. 

I planned the picnic, making lists of food to buy and what clothes to bring for any eventuality, fantasizing over the first few moments, and agonizing endlessly about whether he’d be attracted to me.  I think Philip wants me because he remembers what I looked like at age 14.  So many questions!  Would another man want me for other reasons?  And if he did, would I be attracted to him and want to do anything?  Would he tell me his real name?  Would it matter?  If not, could I be with someone I didn’t know?  Due to the nature of things online, very little personal info gets exchanged.  I wondered what sort of girl I am.  And what effect would it have on my relationship with Philip?  If I had some commitment from Philip, I wouldn’t need anything more.  But I don’t.   So many ifs!  
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Sassy's Past Part 6: The Adventures

Welcome to the sixth part of my stories about the men in my pants, oops!… ahem…past.

If you haven’t read the other parts and want to catch up on my exploits, click over to 

In the 12 years between Martin dumping me and meeting my husband, I did not have a date.  I concentrated on my job, but I had plenty of time to make a fool of myself with five adventures – Bart (Mr. Same Time, Next Year), then four one-night stands or a weekend.  Sadly, I don’t remember much about them but I note them here to keep the numbers accurate.  Part of me wants to say, “Move along, nothing to see here” but they are pieces of the Sassy puzzle, so here you go.

THE ADVENTURES
#6 – Bart (Same Time, Next Year)

See Sassy’s Part Part 5: Same Time, Next Year

#7 – Fraser (the British Soldier) 
No, I don’t know his last name.  See That Night In Mexico 
#8 – (redacted for a good reason)
#9 – Garth (former co-worker)
I changed jobs.  Three weeks after I left, a former co-worker showed up at my door about 9:30 pm on a weeknight.  I asked him in.  He confessed he had the hots for me and I took him to bed.  Never saw him again.  And was fine with that.  I don’t remember anything about that night other than the look on his face when I answered the door and that he’s on my list.
After that, I sunk myself into my job, and didn’t come out again for 8 years.
#10 – the O man
This was my first internet romance.  It was the very early days, before the World Wide Web!  My sister got me a free desktop computer, an Amiga, and a 300 baud modem in 1993.  She taught me about UNIX commands, rmail, ntalk and USENET newsgroups.   Men outnumbered women 20:1 in those days.  I had to choose a gender neutral user ID because if you looked female, men pounced with the now famous “wanna fuck” as their opening salvo.  In early 1994, I started talking to a college student from Canada who was about 15 years my junior.  We met on a rec.sport usenet group and argued about the sport via email.  I invited him to Boston to see an exhibition.  

After my invitation, he started calling me and it got hotter and hotter.  I had my first orgasm lying on my bed with him talking to me on the phone.  So I dubbed him the “O man.”  He flew in and I met him at Logan.  He was exactly who he said he was!  We held hands on the bus and the subway.  We had not exchanged photos or talked about our looks.  I had always been with tall men and was a surprised how short and small he was, but it didn’t matter.  He was very good in bed, though I don’t remember anything about it now.  We had a lovely weekend together.  I remember kissing him good-bye at the gate (this was when you could be with someone right up to the moment before they boarded). I walked up the concourse… and was hit by this premonition that I would never see him again.  I raced back down the wide hallway and caught him just as he was handing his ticket to the agent.  He stepped out of line, hugged me, and kept kissing me until the agent tapped him on the shoulder.  He smiled and headed off down the gangway.  

When he asked me why I enjoyed his visit, I wrote a mushy 200-line poem about how wonderful he made me feel.  Sadly, it was lost in a computer crash.  He was a very nice guy, but I realized relatively quickly that we had no romantic future.  I hoped to stay friends and we kept emailing.  It was only then that I discovered he was a major depressive and suicidal.  I learned a lot about his illness and tried to help but he pushed me away.  He stopped writing and I let it slide.  I emailed him about once a year and kept up with him through grad school in the U.S. but can’t find him now.  Probably just as well. 

It was an exciting time on the net.  I was talking to three other guys that summer.  

  • Another sports fan, this one from New Jersey, that I never met.  
  • A local guy – we had a great time at a Red Sox game but didn’t click.  
  • And the third I married and lived happily ever after.  *cough*
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Sassy’s Past Part 6: The Adventures

Welcome to the sixth part of my stories about the men in my pants, oops!… ahem…past.

If you haven’t read the other parts and want to catch up on my exploits, click over to 

In the 12 years between Martin dumping me and meeting my husband, I did not have a date.  I concentrated on my job, but I had plenty of time to make a fool of myself with five adventures – Bart (Mr. Same Time, Next Year), then four one-night stands or a weekend.  Sadly, I don’t remember much about them but I note them here to keep the numbers accurate.  Part of me wants to say, “Move along, nothing to see here” but they are pieces of the Sassy puzzle, so here you go.

THE ADVENTURES
#6 – Bart (Same Time, Next Year)

See Sassy’s Part Part 5: Same Time, Next Year

#7 – Fraser (the British Soldier) 
No, I don’t know his last name.  See That Night In Mexico 
#8 – (redacted for a good reason)
#9 – Garth (former co-worker)
I changed jobs.  Three weeks after I left, a former co-worker showed up at my door about 9:30 pm on a weeknight.  I asked him in.  He confessed he had the hots for me and I took him to bed.  Never saw him again.  And was fine with that.  I don’t remember anything about that night other than the look on his face when I answered the door and that he’s on my list.
After that, I sunk myself into my job, and didn’t come out again for 8 years.
#10 – the O man
This was my first internet romance.  It was the very early days, before the World Wide Web!  My sister got me a free desktop computer, an Amiga, and a 300 baud modem in 1993.  She taught me about UNIX commands, rmail, ntalk and USENET newsgroups.   Men outnumbered women 20:1 in those days.  I had to choose a gender neutral user ID because if you looked female, men pounced with the now famous “wanna fuck” as their opening salvo.  In early 1994, I started talking to a college student from Canada who was about 15 years my junior.  We met on a rec.sport usenet group and argued about the sport via email.  I invited him to Boston to see an exhibition.  

After my invitation, he started calling me and it got hotter and hotter.  I had my first orgasm lying on my bed with him talking to me on the phone.  So I dubbed him the “O man.”  He flew in and I met him at Logan.  He was exactly who he said he was!  We held hands on the bus and the subway.  We had not exchanged photos or talked about our looks.  I had always been with tall men and was a surprised how short and small he was, but it didn’t matter.  He was very good in bed, though I don’t remember anything about it now.  We had a lovely weekend together.  I remember kissing him good-bye at the gate (this was when you could be with someone right up to the moment before they boarded). I walked up the concourse… and was hit by this premonition that I would never see him again.  I raced back down the wide hallway and caught him just as he was handing his ticket to the agent.  He stepped out of line, hugged me, and kept kissing me until the agent tapped him on the shoulder.  He smiled and headed off down the gangway.  

When he asked me why I enjoyed his visit, I wrote a mushy 200-line poem about how wonderful he made me feel.  Sadly, it was lost in a computer crash.  He was a very nice guy, but I realized relatively quickly that we had no romantic future.  I hoped to stay friends and we kept emailing.  It was only then that I discovered he was a major depressive and suicidal.  I learned a lot about his illness and tried to help but he pushed me away.  He stopped writing and I let it slide.  I emailed him about once a year and kept up with him through grad school in the U.S. but can’t find him now.  Probably just as well. 

It was an exciting time on the net.  I was talking to three other guys that summer.  

  • Another sports fan, this one from New Jersey, that I never met.  
  • A local guy – we had a great time at a Red Sox game but didn’t click.  
  • And the third I married and lived happily ever after.  *cough*
by

Sassy’s Past Part 5 – Same Time, Next Year

Welcome to the fifth part of my stories about the men in my pants, oops!… ahem…past.

If you haven’t read the other parts and want to catch up on my exploits, click over to 

#6 – Bart
I was on a national charity board for several years.  We met each year in a different city far away to visit projects to see how the money was being spent.  At the first meeting when I was 22, I met a very diverse gang of seven people at dinner the first night.   We clicked – sharing stories, laughing, solving the problems of the world.

The second year the meeting was right after Martin dumped me, so I was in need of their comfort and support.  We hugged eagerly like long lost friends, talking as if we’d never been apart.  I ate with them, sat with them at meetings, and went to the bar with them at the end of each day.  On the first night, toward the end of the evening, I was chatting with two men in the hotel bar.  Though I did not drink, I found that much of the real business got done in the bar.  One guy went to the men’s room and I was left with Bart, a 50ish large animal veterinarian from the midwest.  He was very interesting.  Very different from me.  More than twice my age.  Married.  Staunch Republican conservative.  Never traveled except for his military service.  I was tall, thin, and busty with long dark hair.  He was a rolly-polly teddy bear with thinning hair.  I was a business lady from a big city.  He tended livestock on farms miles from the nearest town.  We disagreed about everything, but enjoyed it.  I understood my life better as I tried to explain it to him.

He asked me questions like, “How can you work in an office with men all day and not have sex with any of them?” that let me know just how foreign my life sounded to him.

“Do you have sex with the livestock?” I quipped back.  He chuckled and shook his head vehemently.

He leaned close to me and said, “I am smitten with you.”  I stared.  I had not caught any vibe from him at all.  “I thought about you all year,” he admitted.  I patted him on the hand.  I couldn’t think of anything to say because I was thinking, “Um… I didn’t notice you at all.”  Oops!  The other guy returned and the moment passed.

Bart sat next to me on a bus ride to a site visit the next day, and we argued all the way there and all the way back!  The last night, he walked me back to my hotel room.  And hugged me good-bye.  He started to walk away, then came dashing back and kissed me!   I was shocked.  I didn’t respond, but didn’t fight him.  He said good night and was gone.   He sent me a Christmas card, with only his signature.  I sent one back with my newsy holiday letter about my job and cats and church work.

We met again the third year.  We were inseparable.  Day and night.  So this is my first foray into the world of adultery.  He was not skilled in bed, and I didn’t know how to make it better.  But I could tell it meant the world to him, so I went along that year, and at the next two meetings.  He finished his time on the board and I thought we were done.  He cried as he saw me off to the plane.  He still sent me a birthday card and a Christmas card.

The next year, the meeting was in the Midwest, a few hours from him.  He called to invite me to see his place.  So I tacked a couple of extra days on to my trip, and drove down there.  He talked me into staying overnight in a nearby town.  And stayed with me until late in the evening.  Then he was gone.  I never saw him again.

He wrote me letters and called now and then, for my birthday or his.  The last time he called, I told him I had finally gotten married.  He congratulated me, said he had called to tell me he would not call again.  He had to stop.  That it was taking over his life.  I told him he could call when he needed to.  He said that would be every day!  I said I understood.

I got a Christmas card up until about five years ago.  I wondered if something happened to him, but found a photo of him online from some local event, so I knew he was still alive.  Thank goodness for nosy newsy local newspapers!

When I got cancer, I had a desperate urge to talk to him, to know if he was alive.  I tried to find him or his children on Facebook without any luck.  I had his phone number.  I called but his wife answered and I could not say anything.  I tried to think of a way to call back and ask for him.  But I couldn’t do it.

I wanted to tell him how much I appreciated his part of my life.  His wisdom and kindness.  For making me feel like the sexiest woman he had ever talked with.  He taught me to eat breakfast.  He taught me that age didn’t matter.  The political party, marital status, distance or time together… all that was not important.  That someone can seem completely incompatible and still be one of the most amazing friends you will ever have.

I googled him again as I wrote this blog entry and there’s an article about him celebrating his wedding anniversary.  On the day I was searching!  Spooky.  So I know he’s still alive!  I think of him often.   Thank you, Bart.  

“Same Time, Next Year”
Starring Alan Alda and Ellen Bustyn
1978


Stay tuned for Sassy’s Past: Part 6: The Adventures 


by

Sassy's Past Part 5 – Same Time, Next Year

Welcome to the fifth part of my stories about the men in my pants, oops!… ahem…past.

If you haven’t read the other parts and want to catch up on my exploits, click over to 

#6 – Bart
I was on a national charity board for several years.  We met each year in a different city far away to visit projects to see how the money was being spent.  At the first meeting when I was 22, I met a very diverse gang of seven people at dinner the first night.   We clicked – sharing stories, laughing, solving the problems of the world.

The second year the meeting was right after Martin dumped me, so I was in need of their comfort and support.  We hugged eagerly like long lost friends, talking as if we’d never been apart.  I ate with them, sat with them at meetings, and went to the bar with them at the end of each day.  On the first night, toward the end of the evening, I was chatting with two men in the hotel bar.  Though I did not drink, I found that much of the real business got done in the bar.  One guy went to the men’s room and I was left with Bart, a 50ish large animal veterinarian from the midwest.  He was very interesting.  Very different from me.  More than twice my age.  Married.  Staunch Republican conservative.  Never traveled except for his military service.  I was tall, thin, and busty with long dark hair.  He was a rolly-polly teddy bear with thinning hair.  I was a business lady from a big city.  He tended livestock on farms miles from the nearest town.  We disagreed about everything, but enjoyed it.  I understood my life better as I tried to explain it to him.

He asked me questions like, “How can you work in an office with men all day and not have sex with any of them?” that let me know just how foreign my life sounded to him.

“Do you have sex with the livestock?” I quipped back.  He chuckled and shook his head vehemently.

He leaned close to me and said, “I am smitten with you.”  I stared.  I had not caught any vibe from him at all.  “I thought about you all year,” he admitted.  I patted him on the hand.  I couldn’t think of anything to say because I was thinking, “Um… I didn’t notice you at all.”  Oops!  The other guy returned and the moment passed.

Bart sat next to me on a bus ride to a site visit the next day, and we argued all the way there and all the way back!  The last night, he walked me back to my hotel room.  And hugged me good-bye.  He started to walk away, then came dashing back and kissed me!   I was shocked.  I didn’t respond, but didn’t fight him.  He said good night and was gone.   He sent me a Christmas card, with only his signature.  I sent one back with my newsy holiday letter about my job and cats and church work.

We met again the third year.  We were inseparable.  Day and night.  So this is my first foray into the world of adultery.  He was not skilled in bed, and I didn’t know how to make it better.  But I could tell it meant the world to him, so I went along that year, and at the next two meetings.  He finished his time on the board and I thought we were done.  He cried as he saw me off to the plane.  He still sent me a birthday card and a Christmas card.

The next year, the meeting was in the Midwest, a few hours from him.  He called to invite me to see his place.  So I tacked a couple of extra days on to my trip, and drove down there.  He talked me into staying overnight in a nearby town.  And stayed with me until late in the evening.  Then he was gone.  I never saw him again.

He wrote me letters and called now and then, for my birthday or his.  The last time he called, I told him I had finally gotten married.  He congratulated me, said he had called to tell me he would not call again.  He had to stop.  That it was taking over his life.  I told him he could call when he needed to.  He said that would be every day!  I said I understood.

I got a Christmas card up until about five years ago.  I wondered if something happened to him, but found a photo of him online from some local event, so I knew he was still alive.  Thank goodness for nosy newsy local newspapers!

When I got cancer, I had a desperate urge to talk to him, to know if he was alive.  I tried to find him or his children on Facebook without any luck.  I had his phone number.  I called but his wife answered and I could not say anything.  I tried to think of a way to call back and ask for him.  But I couldn’t do it.

I wanted to tell him how much I appreciated his part of my life.  His wisdom and kindness.  For making me feel like the sexiest woman he had ever talked with.  He taught me to eat breakfast.  He taught me that age didn’t matter.  The political party, marital status, distance or time together… all that was not important.  That someone can seem completely incompatible and still be one of the most amazing friends you will ever have.

I googled him again as I wrote this blog entry and there’s an article about him celebrating his wedding anniversary.  On the day I was searching!  Spooky.  So I know he’s still alive!  I think of him often.   Thank you, Bart.  

“Same Time, Next Year”
Starring Alan Alda and Ellen Bustyn
1978


Stay tuned for Sassy’s Past: Part 6: The Adventures 


by

Sassy’s Past Part 4 – Martin

Welcome to the fourth story about the men in my pants, oops!… ahem…past.

If you haven’t read the first three parts, click to catch up on my exploits. 


#5 MARTIN
In the summer of 1979, I worked at a big hotel.  There were a lot of men who lived there for a couple of months in the midst of being transferred for their jobs with big corporations.  Martin was one of them, about five years older than me, lonely, knew no one in town.  He hung out in the evenings chatting with my co-workers.  He followed me on my dinner breaks to chat in the restaurant next door.

I felt sorry for him and invited him home for a July 4th  barbecue at my house.  So our first “date” was with my entire family including my grandfather!  He sat down in the living room, and our kittens, who usually hid under the couch, came out, crawled up his legs and sat on his lap.  I thought they were a good judge of character!  I walked him to his car.  He thanked me and shook my hand.  Then he grabbed me.  And kissed me.  And groped me.  He was very forceful.  I told him I wasn’t interested.

But he kept hanging out at the hotel.  And trying to get me to go to his room.  Nothing doing.  That would get me fired!  Then he got transferred about 4 hours away.  He called me every night.  He begged me to come see him.  I’m an idiot.  I went.  He locked me in his hotel room for the weekend and fucked me until I was so sore I couldn’t stand up.  I resolved never to see him again.  I avoided him at the hotel, stopped going to dinner.  My job ended and I thought I’d shed him.

When I went south to visit relatives at the end of the summer, he started calling there.  He was so sweet.  I told him he’d hurt me physically, and he was surprised and chagrinned and sorry.  He promised to be very gentle from then on.  And to give me time.  He was a man of his word.  He drove down to see me!  And convinced my parents to let him drive me home.  He took me to meet his grandparents on the way home, left me alone in the guest bedroom.  But I mostly resolved to go back to college and ditch him.

When I left, he kept hanging out with my family.  They loved him and asked him to move in with them!  So when I went home, there he was.  Being kind to me.  Going trick-or-treating with my little sister.   I gave in and loved him, too.  He moved away, and I visited him now and then at his new place in another state.  

We dated for three years while I finished college.  I went to the Midwest to meet his family.  I went to his place a lot of weekends.  He came to see me at college.  When I graduated from college, he was there, part of the family.  I began to think we’d get married.  
I moved to Boston.  He visited me there.  He decided to quit his job and go back to school full-time to get his masters.  I visited him there once and had a lovely time.  He called me when I got home to tell me he had met the woman he wanted to marry.  I never saw him again.  I mailed his stuff to him.  He didn’t send me mine.  * sigh *  
The odd thing was, I didn’t miss him.  I missed having a boyfriend.  But not him.  Made me wonder about myself.

He’s on Facebook, with just enough info public that I know he’s alive and well and living his dream.   So I have no urge to contact him.  

Little did I know I would be alone for 12 years after that.  

Stay tuned for Sassy’s Past Part 5: Same Time, Next Year