Okay.  Well.  See… it started off well.  This is what the Chinese would call… “an interesting day.” 

I was dreaming a very sweet sexy dream and some nice man was rubbing my breast above the nipple and I suddenly realized it was not a dream!  Kris was wedging himself under me, already  hard and ready to plunge inside me!  I glanced at the clock radio… 4:03 am.  Wow… he is really living his fantasy!  He slowly filled me, groping my breast and kissing my shoulder as he pumped in and out.  Mmm…. I enjoyed this way to wake up!  He came hard pretty quickly then drifted off to sleep again.  I watched him sleep.  He was smiling. 

I woke Kris up the right way with a Sassy blow job!  He said he’s usually not a morning sex person, because he is distracted about whatever he has to do that day and anxious to get going, but I managed to wake him up gently, touching him under the covers until he was conscious, then sucking him down my throat until he forgot to worry about what he had to do today.  He came hard!  

He said the one danger point was about 10:45 am because his wife was leaving work to go to church and might swing by their house afterwards.  So we have to leave by 10:30 am.  He went out about 10 am to check on the boat.  It wouldn’t start!  WTF?  So he drove to church to get the jump cables out of his wife’s car.  But they weren’t there.  So he went to the neighbors to borrow theirs.  And got back at 10:40 am.  

Two minutes later, I was sitting in the dining room on my computer when he yelled, “GET TO THE CLOSET!”  WTF?

I grabbed all my stuff – computer, bag, hat, purse, and ran upstairs and squeezed myself into the back of the closet and shut the door.  I texted with a chat friend and tried not to sneeze. I also texted Philip, who was driving and laughing his ass off at me.  

I listened to her scream at him for ten minutes solid.  WTF?  I know I am odd that Hubby and I don’t fight, but it was bizarre to hear her rail at him on and on… he’s got to sell that fucking motorcycle, why did he move the table on the porch, he has to get a haircut! If he lied to her about the motorcycle, what else is he capable of?  Is he drinking again?  Is he having an affair?  *sigh  

Luckily he led her outside to look at their garden after about 10 minutes, and she only stayed about 20 minutes.  He came up to the closet to tell me she was gone.  I half wanted to laugh and half cry.  

We talked quietly, waiting for the adrenaline rush to subside.  The worst moment came when he asked me if I was okay and I told him it was very hard to listen to her yell at him.  And he said… “Was she yelling?  I didn’t notice.”  *sigh  You know what that means?  It’s normal.  So routine that he doesn’t notice.  No wonder he finds me so different.  *sigh

He gave me a hand out of the closet and I gave him a big hug.  We headed out on our adventure. 

So he drove the truck and the boat to the boat launch in Essex.  He unhooked it from the truck and… managed to gouge his head on the propeller!  A 4-inch scrape!  WTF?  

He borrowed band aids from another boat, and I made a bandage out of a paper towel and patched him up!  He said it didn’t hurt.  I worried about it getting infected.  He put his baseball cap over it and no one was the wiser. 

When he launched the boat into the river, the wooden runners that hold it on the trailer came off with it!  He wouldn’t be able to get the boat back out.  WTF? 

He chatted with a couple people along the docks, and ended up taking the trailed to the marina next door.  I sat in the boat at the dock, wondering if he’d be able to get help and how long it would take and whether this day was cursed!  Would we ever get away down river? 

He returned very quickly!  He said a guy at the marina stopped working on his boat, put on new runners and didn’t charge him!  He was back in 15 minutes! 

We had a marvelous five-hour adventure on the water!   We went down the Essex River, out into the ocean, along Wingaersheek Beach were I walked last week, down the Annisquam River and into Gloucester Harbor!  It is so wonderful to see places from the water side that I’ve been on land, ogle the boats and people and scenery… munch on grapes and sandwiches… and relax.  He takes such good care of me!  

Here are my 35 photos. Pop over to Google Plus to look. https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/101174762249697322833/albums/6027979900927526257

Here’s my favorite: 

The Annisquam lighthouse you can see

 from Wingaersheek Beach, Gloucester MA

H. Dinner 

We got back just as the sun set.  He hauled the boat out, covered it and drove over to the famous Woodman’s seafood restaurant.  They invented fried clams.  There’s usually a big line but there were only about 6 people ahead of us to order from the counter.  We shared a clam chowder, clam cakes and a fisherman’s fried platter of shrimp, scallops, clams and fish with onion rings.  I was not impressed but it was okay.  He left the table for 10 minutes while I waited for the food, so his wife could scream at him on the phone.  He looked defeated when he returned, picked at the food.  I held his hand and he smiled. 

We drove back to his house and… his wife was there.  He parked about 100 feet past the driveway to figure out what to do.  Of course, at that moment, she drove out.  I ducked down.  He took off.  She followed us, honking her horn and flashing her lights.  She finally pulled up beside him and screamed for him to pullover.  He turned off onto the highway going 80 mph and she didn’t follow.  I have never wanted to be invisible so hard in my life.  WF?!

J. The refuge 

He dropped me off at an Applebee’s at 11 pm.  They’re open until midnight.  I sat texting a chat friend and Philip, pretending to eat a pasta dish, wondering what I’d do if Kris couldn’t get back to get me. I wondered what was going on at his house.  Would I ever see him again? 

The young male waiter was very kind to me, told me I could stay until 1 am while they cleaned and closed up if need be.  I ordered a tiny dessert parfait.  Chocolate is a comfort!  The waiter sat and talked to me for awhile.  I left him a big tip.  

At 11:55 pm, Kris texted that he was on his way!  

Kris: Coming to get you 11:55 PM

Me: Yay! 11:56 PM

Kris: Be there in 15 minutes…hang tight….might have to wait out front 12:00 AM

Me: They will let me sit here until 12:30ish, so no worries 12:01 AM

He appeared at 12:30 am.  I met him in the parking lot.  He got out to show me the back of the truck. 

Something had happened to the tailgate of the truck he had borrowed to tow the boat!  He couldn’t figure it out – it looked like a tree had fallen on the top – big gash and now the tailgate wouldn’t close.  WTF?!  

He was mystified.  I wondered if the boat had hit it.  Or his wife’s car.  He said he knows how to find parts at a junkyard and replace it.  Just one more WTF, bad luck moment. 

Kris brought my stuff from his house.  I confirmed that going home was the best idea if he could stay awake to drive.  We went to park the truck and get his car at the storage facility.  The 12-foot high entrance fence gate was malfunctioning, so he had to climb over it to open the gate.  WTF?!  By this point, I was hardly surprised. 

So we left NH at 1:05 am, got to my place at 2:10 am.  Whee!  He was quiet for awhile, then I made him laugh and he told me about his wife calling him to scream and telling her lies. I suggested he be very good for awhile – focus on her, be where he is supposed to be, do things to get on her good side.  I also suggested he clean up his electronic life – delete all my texts, ditch his AM account and Yahoo mischief email, clear his bookmarks.  

N. The stranger 

As we rode along, I got a series of odd texts on Sassy’s Google Voice number from a CA number, from someone named James.  I don’t know anyone in CA named James. I realized it was a stranger visiting Boston.  He said a guy in a bar gave him my number!  WTF?! WHO IS GIVING OUT SASSY’s Google voice number?!  He told me a first name that could be one of three AM men I’ve met.  Ugh. I wonder if he gave it to anyone else? Argh.  

Unknown: hey gurl 1:58 AM

Unknown: What time is it 1:59 AM

Me: Hiya. What’s up? 1:59 AM

Me: 2 am 1:59 AM

Unknown: heard good things. wanna meet up for a soda. 2:00 AM

Me: Good things? 2:01 AM

Unknown: you know it. that’s why I’m txtin! 2:02 AM

Unknown: how’s all this work. good friend referred me. 2:02 AM

Me: oh? 2:03 AM

Unknown: sassy girl right? 2:03 AM

Unknown: sorry it’s late. been up since 4AM yesterday 2:04 AM

Me: Who sent you? 2:05 AM

Unknown: Steven I think. I’ve had a bit, I town for work and was having drinks at cheers and the guy next to me gave me your # 2:08 AM

Unknown: older guy 2:08 AM

Unknown: local 2:08 AM

Me: Sadly I’m off the circuit these days but thanks for reaching out! Best of luck! 2:09 AM

Unknown: I’ll be at the commonwealth all week 2:10 AM

Unknown: ahh. okay, thank you. 2:10 AM

Unknown: Text me if things change 2:10 AM

Unknown: got another number for me? 2:20 AM

I lugged my bags inside, set them on my desk and heard Hubby’s voice in the bedroom say, “You’re home?”  

“Yes…there was an episode with his wife so he brought me home,” I explained.    

“Well, my girlfriend is here. I should’ve told you she was coming over.”  

WTF?! 

“Oh!  So sorry… I should’ve told you I was on my way home.”  

I sank down into the chair at my desk and put my head in my hands.  There was some whispering, then he said he would take her home. I apologized to them both, and he apologized to me and… oh well!  Will this day never end?  I texted Kris. 

=====

Me: Just to top off this wild day – Hubby’s gf is here! 2:07 AM

Kris: Oops! 2:09 AM

Kris: Do u want to return to my house with me?  I’m not too far up the road…or had enough adventure for one day? 😉 2:13 AM

Me: Ha ha. Thanks but no. He took her home. 2:15 AM

Kris: Night! Mwah! 2:16 AM

Me: Oh – and those texts were from a businessman, a stranger, said some guy in a bar gave him my number. Eep! That’s new and scary! 2:16 AM

Kris: That IS strange! 2:22 AM

=====

I collapsed into bed at 3 am.  Hubby got back.  I thanked him, told him I’d explain tomorrow.

=====

So let’s recap the ELEVEN BIZARRE THINGS that happened today: 

My list goes to 11!  HA!  Move over David Letterman… I’m into Spinal Tap territory!

I can’t believe all that happened on the same day.  That is the most bizarre part.  WTF? Any ONE of these would’ve made for a strange day but no… ELEVEN!  ELEVEN?  Yes… ELEVEN BIZARRE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!

And yet… we bounced back.  We soldiered on.  We had a lovely sexy time waking up and a fantastic time on the water in his boat and I got to try a new restaurant.  And… wow.  Just… wow.  There were some beautiful memories mixed with the horrific ones.   

Please don’t let me ever have another bizarre day like this one!