Me: Good morning sexy man! 7:47 AM

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From: Kris

To: Sassy

Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 7:53 AM

Subject: like a kid at Christmas

Hi Sassy,

I woke up like a kid at Christmas this morning–since I heard through the grapevine that Santa was going to grant me almost everything on my wish list (or in this case, B-day wish list!)

So here’s the thing…I went to bed last night thinking about “options”–and woke up early doing the same.  I can drive myself crazy imagining the possible “variations.”  So I’ll try to make this simple (if that’s possible).  Any of these have certain “conditions” and “logistics” that would need to be met or worked out.  

1) Pick you up either Wed or Thurs night from work and bring you home that night. 

(Pick you up at 5:00pm?  Leave my house at 10:00pm or 11:00pm to have you home by 11:00pm or 12:00 midnight?).

2)  Pick you up Saturday morning and bring you home Sunday night.  That would include: A) Either having lunch with you and your mom, or B) You not seeing your mom that day—which may not be an option.

The only thing about #1 is that after maybe having dinner with you and you showing me your office (if you wanted to throw those two things in too) you’d be traveling with me round trip about 2 hours for 2-3 hours of sex (assuming we left around 7:00pm–arrived at my house around 8:00pm–and left my house around 10:00pm or 11:00pm for you to arrive home by 11:00pm or 12 midnight.  If we did that, we’d be likely “getting down to business” right away when we got to my house.  Which is fine with me–if that’s what you want to do.  Could give you the “grand tour” of the place during the daytime some other time.

My real preference would be to spend the whole weekend with you and go boating. The weather is forecast to be only “partly cloudy” (which means “mostly sunny”) and in the mid-70s (so like Goldilocks–not too hot and not too cold–almost “just right”).  Boating has the logistical need for me to find a truck–but I now have two friends who potentially will rent me theirs.

There is a little bit of “adventurous drama” that would need to happen on my B-day.  Namely, I would need to take a short break to ride my bike to where my wife is working and “break the news” to her.  You could be the first one I report the results to.  Should only take about an hour to ride over there–show it to her–tell her–and get her reaction (not good at first–but hoping “ok with” later).

ANYHOW….give all this some thought and either shoot back an email or maybe we can chat tonight about the details.  What you want to do–and when–also effects what day or days I ask my wife to take off this week.  That hasn’t been determined yet either–since she’s just starting her first day of work today.  It hasn’t been determined for sure with her employer.  But hopefully they can work with her and have some flexibility.  My request of her day off depends on what YOU want/can do….

Afalfa (running down stairs to open his presents!)

P.S.—Hope this is kinda fun–and doesn’t stress you out too much.  For me it’s a BLAST!

P.P.S.–Thanks for the incognito window tip!  Using it here and going forward.  Whatever might cause the sad ending of our affair (hopefully in the very distant future)–the last thing I want it to be is getting caught!

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Kris: Good morning sultry Sass! Just sent u email. Know u have limited time today…but think about and let me know what u think. Maybe chat about details tonite? Mwah! 8:01 AM

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From: Kris

To: Sassy

Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 8:05 AM

Subject: Fw: like a kid at Christmas

Ooops!   Made a big mistake on what I had in mind for a week night–either Wed or Thursday.  I wouldn’t bring you home the same night—you would spend the night and I would bring you to work in the morning!  Makes a big difference.  So change/edit #1 with that in mind!

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Kris: Oops! Made a mistake in first email. Just forwarded/resent it with important correction!

 8:07 AM

Kris: hope your training is going well. parts of emails will make u giggle…or if nothing else confirm my craziness. just tryin’ to have some fun…which you’re a LOT of! 12:06 PM

Kris: W left couple hours ago to start work…can’t stand the loneliness. know anyone who might come over and comfort me? 12:18 PM

Me: Awww… you poor fellow! I might be convinced to help you out. I survived training, despite the boss sending me three different nasty emails. Then I jousted with the IRS for my mom… looks like she forgot a quarterly tax payment in 2012. Geesh. Hope you had a good day! 5:30 PM

Kris: Bad day…fight with kid about money…student loans I co-signed that he’s late paying. Dings my credit. Going to gym now. U free to chat later? 5:54 PM

Me: Oh dear. Sorry to hear that. I’d be happy to chat. 5:59 PM

Kris: K…I’ll try not to make it too late. Dying to hear how you’ll be “helping me out” 😉 6:18 PM

Kris: Leaving gym to put bike away…ETA on chat bout 10. 9:33 PM

Me: Yay! 9:38 PM

Kris: At shed…in need of your sweet, positive attitude like “Yay!” One little word picks me up… you’re sweet…thank u. 9:53 PM

Kris: Online 🙂 10:27 PM

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From: Kris

To: Sassy

Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 11:36 AM

Re: 10 Tips 

Hi Sassy,

Interesting article–especially the two big questions to answer “No” to:  “Do you love her?” and “Did you ever have sex with her in our bed?”  Basically the advice is “lie though your teeth” and just answer “no” to both questions–even if it’s not true.  I’m not sure I would handle it that way.  

If I got caught today I’d answer the first question by saying: “She’s a good person and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like her–but I don’t love with her the way I love you.  She’s been saying she’s planning on sticking a vibrator in my ass, or using it on my cock, or sucking on my cock and stroking it and sticking a vibrator in my ass all at the same time–which I think might be fun and feel good–and you won’t.  So, no, I don’t love her the way I love you.”

I’d answer the second question (“Did you ever have sex with her in our bed?) by saying:  “I was planning to–but you ruined my plans by catching me.”  

KIDDING!

Alfalfa
(hope to never have to even consider using any part of this advice!)  

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