Category Archives: AM

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Should I write back?


Sunday, August 3, 2014 
I’ve been sitting on the shelf, trying to get over Kris.  I looked at Ashley Madison but was not enthused.  I enjoyed the Blog Fan’s visit, but now he is gone.  Now what? 
Then the universe tossed me an easy pitch to hit, like it always seems to do.  For the first time in 4 months, I got a great message from a new AM man! 
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From: FunFan
To: Sassy 
Sent: Sunday, August 3, 2014 9:41 pm 
Hello Sassy    , 
You are an answer to my dreams! I just love what you say about yourself! And your sense of humor and warmth! And so much more – forgive the pun. And on top of that I’m a sucker for blue eyes! All I can wish for is to be an answer to your dreams. 
A couple of words about myself. I grew up in Europe where I learned the fine art of love making, and still have my sexy accent (somebody told me that, but they may have meant something else – who knows).I realize that I’m a bit older than you in the number of years of experience, but this comes handy sometimes. At least I’m always in a hurry to please my partner in crime but never in a rush to finish the pleasure. I do not look nor act my age! Working for myself, I have no trouble managing my time. 
Enough about myself, I’d like to find out more about you, and hope we can hit it off and enjoy many pleasures together, horizontal laughing being the best of them. 
I’m trying to imagine our first meeting. We get together for lunch, or coffee, or dinner, in a nice place, start talking, and the sparks start flying around us. The fire alarm in this small place goes off, everybody leaves, we are the only ones to stay, and start extinguishing the fire – you know what I mean, but the fire gets only stronger… 
Enough dreams, I’m looking forward to hearing from you, and will be happy to share my pictures. 
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Isn’t that fantastic?!  Wow… five paragraphs without a typo!  A great opening!  So many great phrases!  He doesn’t reference anything in my profile except my eye color.  Hmm…  and I don’t like the “partner in crime” phrase – we would not be committing a crime – but… I get it.  I read it over several times, trying to read between the lines for any danger signs.  I worry about the way he said “please my partner” as I tend to attract subs and I can’t domme… but it was subtle and only in one spot.  
 I read his profile.  He’s from a nice suburb a good distance away (20 miles) and tall – says 6 feet – and trim at 190.  He’s the same age as Kris – perhaps that’s a good omen.  Ugh… I am comparing the new guy to Kris.  Natural but… ugh.  Limits? Undecided.  I don’t like that.  But at least it doesn’t say “Something short term.”  He’s attached.  Good.  He checked off a bunch of boxes, nothing strange, then wrote two sentences something like this.  
Checkboxes are funny
I want a sexy and passionate lady to enjoy the pleasures of body and brain.
So nothing exciting, but nothing bad.  If he had not written such a great message, I probably would have passed by. 
Do I want to answer?  I really don’t feel like starting again but… I’ve been thinking I can get by with the occasional visitor and playing online but… the AM guy wrote such a nice message!  I figured it was worth a try.  
I dug around in my email, looking for first messages I wrote to other men.  I pulled bits from three and tried to craft them into a nice message but that didn’t work.  So I started from scratch and ended with something pretty sassy!  But I didn’t sent it.  This seemed like a big step this time.  I was not sure I was ready… I decided to sleep on it.  I felt like Scarlett O’Hara, “I’ll think about that tomorrow!’

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Meeting #2 with The Blog Fan

Saturday, August 2, 2014

[If you want to read about our first meeting last December, click on the “Blog Fan” label at the lower right to see all my previous posts about him]

11:52 am
He emailed me – he was finally free and ready to meet! I agreed to pick him up at his hotel. I threw on clothes – blue pants, blue button-up top with silk scarf, black clogs and socks and bra and blue panties.

12:15 pm
I picked him up in front of his hotel downtown. He asked if I could take him to the airport when we were finished – I said yes – so he went back in to get his suitcase. He had on a straw fedora, a rust-colored brushed denim button down shirt, a brown belt, black jeans and hiking shoes.

I pulled over on a side street. We necked for a bit – the moment he touched me I remembered – this man makes me feel so good! He is a pro. Every touch, every kiss, I think, ‘YES! That’s the way to do it!”

He mentioned taking me to lunch but said he really wanted to be alone with me. He thought we could find a hotel in the burbs for less. I tried to find a hotel online on my phone. There must be something going on – no rooms anywhere! I made calls – still nothing. He asked me to take him to a quiet park so we could neck. I started out but got caught in traffic, so we decided to drive to the airport, pop in to see if the hotels out there had a room. Nope. I so wish he had let me plan ahead!  I thought and thought… finally came up with Mount Auburn Cemetery, a famous burial ground and arboretum in Cambridge. I figured it would be a quiet spot on a rainy afternoon.

We parked near the Spruce Knoll and necked in the car. He played with my chest, made me cum twice with his fingers! He has THE BEST technique! I played with my breast while he had his fingers inside me and he watched in awe. He talked about our night together in December. He kept a look out. A few cars drove around us, a few people walked by outside the fence. I talked about what I’d like to do today, thinking it was not possible. I sucked on him briefly but the way I had to contort around in the car made it impossible for very long. It started to drizzle and got very quiet. He said we should go for a walk.

We strolled up into the trees and sat on a wooden bench. We got really brave and adventurous (or stupid!) We kissed a bit more. He got me to take off my bra – he likes the idea of women going braless even if in my case it is totally bizarre! He played with my breasts. He had me stand over him so he could suck on them. Then he asked me to stand and got behind me, asked if he could take down my pants. He fingered me, both in my vagina and my ass! Double penetration! Whee! I was so wet! I thought he might fuck me, but he deemed it too risky. Probably right…

I asked him if he’d like me to suck on him. He went for a little walk around the perimeter, looking for people or lines of sight. Then he returned and stood in front of me, unbuckled his belt and pulled out his gorgeous cock! I gave him a very sassy blow job! He didn’t let me finish, said he wanted to play with me more. He had me stand over him and I unbuttoned his shirt so I could rub my chest across his. He played with my chest and fingered me to another soaring orgasm! Whee! I felt such tingling and the searing heat between my legs then started shaking all over.

We rested a bit and cuddled on the bench, talked about what would happen if he moved to Boston to work.  He said he’d have to make love to me every night… I mentioned some mornings might have to spent that way as well! But that knowing him, he’d make time to see me every other Thursday! He smiled. We both know he works too much! But what a hot fantasy!

He took another walk around, then returned and let me suck on him until he came! Yum. We sat and cuddled on the bench, as I marveled at all we had been able to do outside!

3:45 pm
We returned to the car. I drove him around the cemetery a bit, showing him my favorite spots.

4:00 pm
I drove him to the airport – he was amazed at my taking care of that for him. He talked about how he spent a week in Boston years ago. I told him he should have called me. Hee. He said I wasn’t Sassy then! I wish I had been… it had already been too long without sex even at that point!

4:20 pm
I took him to the terminal, got out for one last hug. He seemed in a hurry, perhaps leery of being seen in public. He smiled and walked away.

I drove home with a huge smile on my face!  I was surprised at myself for being so bold outside!  I thanked my lucky stars once again for this blog and the ways it makes me life more interesting!
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from: Blog Fan
to: Sassy
sent: 4:52 pm

subject: re: Meeting…

Many thanks for a lovely afternoon!  You inspired me to do some very sexy stuff! 


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Silence vs. the Official Goodbye

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

It was a warm, humid day in the mid-80s.  I dropped Hubby off at his lady friend’s house for a get-together.  Just as I drove away, I noticed he left his phone in the car, so I circled around to give it to him.  They were waiting on the front step, and she came with him “to see my henna.”  We had a nice chat.  It is lovely he’s found someone who is nice to him and I can interact with so well.  I went off to take my mother to lunch and tried not to think of Kris. 
Today was better, not so many associations with Kris as there were at the lake yesterday.  
My mind is filled with questions.  How do I shut that off?  I so want to know how his meeting went with the guy who might help him find a divorce lawyer, and whether the tomatoes turned red that he showed me a photo of “green but just about ready to turn,” and whether he left his new pierced earring in or took it out and… “the rest of the story.”  But like any saga, when it stops, it stops.  You wonder but have to move on knowing you’re not allowed to know that anymore. 
This is the hardest part for me.  I still look at names of men on my AM list from almost two years ago and wonder how they’re doing, if they found someone… so tough for me to stop caring.  I store up all this data to make them happy and to follow up and then… I have to stop.  Move on.  I will.  In time. 
I’m analyzing the differences in this relationship ending face-to-face compared with others that have faded into silence.  The discussion in-person was tough.  But now I know.  I am not left to wonder, other than he might change his mind, and have more of a “now what?” puzzle that I don’t have to solve soon but it’s out there.  So I am sticking with my preference to be told.  Silence stinks. 

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Meet #26 Mount Washington – Up and Down

Sunday, July 20, 2014
Kris called this morning to ask if I would go on a long drive with him.  I told him Hubby and I planned to go to dim sum at my favorite place at 11:30 am and he was welcome to join in or pick me up there around 12:30 pm.  He said he’d join in!  I told him we’d order and he could show up whenever.  He appeared at 12 noon and shared with Hubby and me!  I was afraid it would all be too spicy and strange, but he tasted each dish and liked it all!  
Crab rangoons, small pork steamer buns, crueller, 
suan la chow show, shumai, and peking ravioli
Then he gave me a fantastic adventure to the top of Mt Washington, and a delicious Thai dinner!  
Mount Washington
We drove through the NH mountains for about 4 hours, talking intensely about what he planned to do and his best memories of being with me.  He asked questions about why I did various things along the way.  He is such an analyzer!  I knew what this was probably leading up to, but decided to not think about that, just enjoy the day until it became clearer.  
We made a pit stop at the Dunkin Donuts near Waterville Valley, then we went on to the Auto Road up to the summit of Mount Washington, the highest peak in New England.
 They are not kidding.  Okay, maybe a little.
 Good thing I brought a jacket! 
 A hint of the vistas ahead
He drove an hour straight up the 8 milesI found the ride up rather frightening, as he went really fast around the curves and there are no guardrails… my mind played tricks on me as we got to higher elevations, imagining careening off the edge into a ravine!  I’ve never had that problem before.  I took a bunch of deep breaths and he kidded me about having a orgasm.  Ha.  
You have the climb the last part to the top.  
We walked around the summit for an hour, taking in the stunning view of the mountains and lakes of New Hampshire, and exploring the buildings.  There is a big deck where you can see out all over – the view is spectacular! I watched the cog railway chugging up the track and down again, and went to see the weather observatory.   
 The view from the deck.  
 Weather observation instruments 
 The cog railway headed down the mountain. 
 The little hotel at the top. 
Yowza.  Glad we were here in July! 
We left at 6:47 pm (when they ask people to start down no later than 6:45 pm) and got to the bottom about 7:30 pm.  We had to go slowly and stop several times because his brakes were smoking.  
 The view on our way down
 A babbling brook [38-second video]
 The Auto Road
 The view of the valley – the hotel across from the main gate
The hotel across from the main gate 
Dinner 
We drove along into North Conway.  We tried one restaurant but they had a 45 minute wait.  We didn’t have time for that.  We rolled on to a lovely Thai restaurant that served up a fast, cheap and good meal. 
 Thai iced tea
 Tom Kar Gui (chicken coconut soup) 
 Fresh scallops sauteed with vegetables
 and brown rice
 Summer rolls 
with peanut sauce 
Chicken satay 
with peanut sauce and cucumber sauce
He was very good at trying new dishes!  We left there at 9 pm. 
Driving home
We had a marvelous conversation, and I sang for him – hymns, Broadway musicals, pop songs!  He sang along on the ones he knew.  He has a beautiful voice!  I wondered why we haven’t sung together before?!  He filled me in on different periods in his past I had not heard about before.  
He brought me home, arriving right at midnight. 
You can see all 39 of my photos, though they don’t begin to capture the majesty of the scenery. 
<https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/101174762249697322833/albums/6038368292462365233>
Goodbye
About an hour from home, he launched into an obviously planned speech.  He said he is going to confess to three male friends at church and ask them to help him walk the right path and get his wife back.  He said he can’t do that and keep seeing me and lie to them.  I told him I understood.  He was keeping his promise to say goodbye to me in person.  It is much better than silence and wondering, but man was it tough to listen to that!  
I did my best to keep from crying and if he had let me out of the car immediately upon pulling up in front of my house, I would’ve been successful.  But he went on thanking me and stroking my hand and… I lost it.  I tried to hide it, but he noticed pretty quickly and hugged me.  
He helped me out of the car.  He said good bye.  I said thank you.  I asked him to let me know how things go, maybe the first of every month or whenever something big happens.  He hugged me one more time, very tightly.  It felt final.  *sigh.  I took a deep breath and walked away.  I didn’t look back. 
So… he says it is over.  I feel like someone is yanking a great book out of my hands part way through and I will never know how it turns out!  Argh!
26 meets. 
107 days.  
3 months, 16 days.

Nothing like being up at the top of the highest peak and down in the depths within a few hours.  Ugh.
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Meet #25 Sassy seduction

July 15, 2014 Tuesday 

Kris had not been in touch since he left Sunday morning.  I was missing him and hating that.  I was so revved up!  I had woken up from a very hot dream about trying out a vibrator at a sex shop… argh… and spent the day telling my mentourage about it.  

I had just gotten home from having dinner with Mom when Kris called about 8 pm and asked to come over.  He said he shouldn’t, but he wanted to.  I gave him an emphatic YES!  He said no sex, but I was desperate.  I was determined to get him to give me some relief.  
When he arrived, I stood behind him in the living room, rubbing his shoulders.  Every time I strayed anywhere near an erogenous zone, he pushed my hands back.  I rubbed and scratched… he says his wife won’t scratch his back for more than 10 seconds so I try to keep going until he says stop.  He leaned against me, and I went on and on.  He finally said enough.  I went to hug him but he walked away.  He said he wasn’t here to see Sassy, he wanted to talk with the real me.  I told him real me wasn’t around, Sassy needed him.  He kept calling my real name, searching for my boring, demure side.  Poor man. 
So I sat at my desk.  He ate some leftover pork lo mein from my fridge and asked me about my day.  He came over to rub on my back.  I was very bad… I unbuttoned my top.  He said “No skin!”  I explained I wanted to feel his hands on my bare shoulders, and demurely pulled my top across my chest while baring my shoulders.  He massaged my shoulders… then my neck… then my head and face… I tilted my head a bit and let my top slip so he could see my cleavage.  I took my bra straps down.  He kept rubbing my shoulders.  I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I pulled my left breast out and started rubbing it myself.  He rubbed my neck and came around to the front, but stayed high.  This was an incredible game of “where will he touch me?  Will he keep going if I touch my chest?  Will he keep going if I…”  I had been quiet so far, but I couldn’t keep the moans inside any longer.  He groaned a bit, like I was torturing him but kept rubbing my upper chest, watching me.  I put my other hand inside my slacks.  I was sooo wet!  I started asking questions.  
Can I undo your belt?
NO! 
So I can’t lick you?
NO! 
Or suck you?
OH COME ON!  
I’m just asking, figuring out where the line is…
I SHOULDN’T BE HERE! 
So why are you here?
I DON’T KNOW. 
You can tell me, I can take it.
I DON’T KNOW. 
So definitely no slow fucking?
GRRR…. 
I swiveled in my desk chair and hugged him around the waist.  He said this was a lot like tantric sex, touching all over the body, building the anticipation.  I stared into his eyes.  He said it’s a checkbox on Ashley Madison that men don’t understand but check because it sounds exotic. 
I finally could not stand it anymore.  I stood up and marched him into my bedroom!  He said it was wrong, he had made up his mind he could not lie anymore, he could not have sex anymore.  I asked who will ask him?  Who will care?  He said he would.  Ugh.  I said, “I need you to help me.”  I was in full evil seductress mode as I have never been before, but I swear it is the best thing for him, to get some release, to forget his troubles… and his protests seemed like he was trying them on for size, not committed to them.  Whatever.  I gently pressed him down on the bed, came down on top of him and started kissing him fiercely.  One thing led to another and he took very good care of me with his fingers and the little silver bullet.  
I was wondering if he would want my attentions, or consider that over this line he has built.  I took the silver bullet and ran it over his forehead, down his neck… he sighed.  I’ve never used a toy on him.  I put it on his nipple, then his belly button, then over his cock on the outside of his jeans. I moved it around his waist, and he unzipped his jeans.  I pressed it on his cock… said, “I don’t know what I’m doing… tell me…please” and he said it felt good on the underside.  So I held it there, then moved it back and forth.  “Still or moving?” I asked.  “Move,” he replied.  So I went back and forth, letting the buzzing radiate from the sensitive spot under the crown.  I moved down his body kissing and finally took him in my mouth, licking and sucking while keeping the bullet on his cock.  He got a blissful look on his face.  He said, “That… is… poetry.”  It wasn’t long before I had a mouth full of salted caramel.  🙂 
We had a good cuddle before Hubby got home and Kris moved to the couch to sleep.  
Geesh… reading this… I may have attained a new level of HUSSY!  
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
I  woke up to the sounds of Kris stirring around, eating a bowl of cereal… I got up just as he was leaving and gave him a quick hug.  He left at 7:30 am. 

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Sad Sunday

Sunday, July 13, 2014
Kris left before I got up this morning, let me note that amounted to “I’m going away, putting on my big boy pants, going to deal with all the crap I have to deal with to sell the house and get back in at church and salvage my relationships with my children.”   Well then.
I made breakfast for Hubby and me – a comforting plate of blueberry pancakes and kielbasa.  Yum.

I called Kris to check on his plan for this evening, since I will be in and out all day – he said not tonight and seemed eager to get off the phone.  He said he was going to try to deal alone but this wouldn’t be our last conversation.  Okay then.

I was very sad… thinking of him dealing all alone, and for myself not having his smiling face around.  But I don’t think it’s up to me to be his sole support.  If I loved him and wanted to be with him when the dust settles, it might be different.  But the last thing I need is another man who needs so much and won’t touch me! 

I shudder thinking of starting again, so I will wait until I am so desperate it seems like a good idea.  Kris has really spoiled me with the trips and the dinners and wanting to be part of my life… don’t think I will see that again. But who knows what adventures are around the corner?  🙂 
Phillip called!  He was driving to the beach.  He is very sympathetic, has been where Kris is. 
I got organized, went to the grocery store to pick up bbq supplies.  I got cocktail shrimp and the ingredients for a caprese salad, and some big jugs of iced teas.  I took Hubby to work on his project, then zoomed out to the burbs for a project team BBQ.  I was very early but texted the host who invited me in to motivate her to make the final preparations.  I sliced tomatoes and mozzarella and elegantly displayed the shrimp on a platter while she finished setting up the back yard.

I wandered outside to hob knob and catch up on whatever project any particular person is doing.  Our alums are involved in so many things!  Someone brought a huge white bird – a cockatoo!  I had fun talking to the bird, who talks back!  
It got too hot so I ducked inside to bask in the a/c.  Several others joined me in the living room and we had a lively conversation.    
Too soon it was time for me to leave to pick up Hubby in Boston at 5:30 pm.  He wanted Chinese, so we popped over to a new place, Dumpling House, and he ordered take-out.  Sadly they were swamped, and it took 45 minutes!  I caught up on Facebook sitting in the car.  We finally made it home at 7:30 pm.  I had yummy chicken corn soup and peking ravioli.  I chatted with another blogger.  Nice to have a sympathetic ear!  
Not a word from Kris… I wonder when I will hear from him again?

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Meet #24 – Suddenly moral

Saturday, July 12, 2014 
Kris stayed over on the sofa Friday night.  Saturday when I woke up, he had set up his computer on my coffee table and was working and eating cereal.  He thought it would take about 7 hours.

Hubby woke up with a bad sore throat, so he stayed home and mostly slept until it was time to go out to work on his project in the evening.  I had to go see Mom, so we had a first with Kris and Hubby home together without me!  Odd for me to leave the two of them there but Kris said it went fine, and Hubby is very glad to help him out.

I had a nice lunch with Mom at the Great Mandarin Chinese buffet in Woburn.  They make these crunchy little leek wontons I’ve never seen anywhere else that I am addicted to.  I flirted with a Guatemalan landscaper.  Heh.  He walked right up to the table and asked, “How old is your mother?”  She answered.  Heh.  I asked him how old he is?!  40-something.  He sat down and chatted with Mom.  He’s the crew chief for a team of gardeners.  That’s never happened before!

Mom and I went to a matinee of a live radio show, then I took her home.  Hubby took off and I was left alone with Kris.
Kris finished most of his work by 6:30 pm and offered to take me out for supper.  We went out to Belle Isle Seafood across the harbor.  It was such a perfect evening!  We watched the sunset over the Boston skyline, with boats motoring into the marina and planes taking off from Logan.  The lobster pie was delicious and he devoured a baked swordfish steak. 

When we came home, I tried to kiss him as we came up in the elevator, like always.  “No serious kissing!” he says to me.  I ignored him, thinking he was kidding, but he pushed me away.  I really can’t deal with that!  
I watched porn while he finished more work.  He gave me a nice little back rub as a I sat at my desk.   We spent more sofa time.  He ticked me off talking about how I’ll be okay when he leaves me, I’ll find someone else who is a better lover, how he needs to give me up on the 1% chance his wife will relent.  I know he has to focus on his life, and relieve himself of worrying about me, but it’s tough to listen to.  Better than silence though!  
I tucked him in, kissed his forehead and went off to bed alone.

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Meet #23 Part 2 – Sharing

Friday, July 11, 2014
Morning 
My alarm went off about 7:20 am.  I hit the snooze button, then dragged myself out of bed.  I went out to wake Kris up, but he was already up and dressed, having showered and eaten cereal!  I hugged him in the kitchen as he made coffee, then got ready for work.  
He is very nervous about anyone seeing him use the toilet.  He usually shuts and locks the door!  I keep telling him it is a natural thing, no big deal, he is welcome to come in when I am in the shower or at the sink.  He has never done it.  Today he really had to poop.  He was so worried about grossing me out, but could not wait.  I was brushing my teeth with the door open and he asked and I waved him in.  He talked as he did his business.  Apparently this was a huge first for him.  He was laughing.  I got him to try the wipes I like.  Ha!  I adore sharing the mundane moments of life with my guy!   I know this is one of those “there are two kinds of people” things, where some folks can’t imagine ever leaving the door open or sharing a bathroom, and others don’t see what the big deal is.  I am definitely in the latter camp!

I finished before he did, so I was half-naked in the midst of getting dressed and gave him a hug when he exited the bathroom.  I kissed him and pressed my naked chest against him.  He pulled away and chided me.  I can’t take much of that.  *sigh
Hubby was running late, so I sat at my desk.  I told Kris I’ll be home alone tonight.  He said there would be three options – he’d either pick me up at work at 4 pm, arrive later or not visit at all.  He would call me later.  I told him I am busy tomorrow and Sunday, so tonight is it if he wants to see me this weekend.  
I had hoped he would wait for me to walk him out, so I could see him off and let him out of the garage and squeeze a few more moments, as we always do.  But he seemed very antsy.  He kissed me on the forehead and left about 8:45 am. 
Evening
Kris called about 5:30 pm.  He’d tried to call me earlier in the day, left an odd message about 2:30 pm that got cut off.  Didn’t answer when I called back, so I just waited.  
He called in a panic – he said his wife had seen my trip photos.  So she is stalking me under my real name!  Argh.  I spent an hour on G+ locking everything down, making all my the photos “friends only.”  I googled myself and wished I was not so easy to find. Ugh.  I had thought Kris was on his way down when he called, but he didn’t show up until about 9 pm just as I was giving up.  
He came in and flumped on the sofa.  I made myself a late supper of pancakes and bacon.  He let me read his wife’s texts.  Geesh… one insult after another.  She wrote “You have defiled me, like a terminal disease.”  ugh.  Who writes that like?  She is doing the victim thing to the hilt. I get it but… wow.  

He slept with his head on my lap on the sofa.  I am guessing he doesn’t sleep much when he is alone, due to his brain racing over all he has to deal with.  I like giving him a safe place to rest.  However, it is so tough for me to have him here and not touching me! 
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Meet #23 Part 1 Reality

Thursday, July 10, 2014 
I had a lovely supper with my older sister and her beau last night at Court House Seafood over across the river in Cambridge.  I had their very fresh fried fish and shrimp with a baked potato and a stuffed clam!  
I finally heard from Kris last night after more than two days of silence. He had not been in touch since he dropped me off on Tuesday midday and I was beginning to wonder.  He had not missed a day in a long time.  He called while I was eating.  I stepped outside to talk.  He arranged to come visit tonight. 
I noticed some beautiful lilies as I left the restaurant:
He came over about 7:30 pm.  I fed him a pear.  It’s his favorite fruit.  He worked on the floxx plant he gave me that is out on my balcony, pruning and watering.  I filled the watering can for him and watered my other plants.  
He is a total mess.  We sat on the sofa with his head in my lap and he vented for about four hours.  He did not want to “do anything sexy.”  He told me he wrote the letter to his wife that the pastor recommended, attached it to an email since he doesn’t know where she is to mail it.  He sent it this morning and she has not responded.  
He is facing the nitty-gritty reality of life alone.  Completely alone.

  • No one to cut his hair.  He hasn’t been to a barber for 35 years.  
  • No one to pick him up when he drops off his motorcycle to be serviced, or take him back to pick it up when it’s done.  
  • Worrying about his wife “breaking into their house and taking things.”  
  • Being placed in an adversarial position over money.  
  • Finding a realtor to advise him on selling the house, what to fix or not worry about. 
  • His son suing him to get back trust money he thinks was mismanaged.  
  • Where will he live when the house sells? 

Ugh.  I stroked his hair and listened and offered suggestions.  He dozed on and off.  He grabbed swiss cheese and crackers to munch on. 

He told me the odd story of locking his house for the first time ever, to have some control over when his wife and son come to take things.  Then he didn’t take his keys, so he was locked out!  So he had to call the police to ask if they could get him in.  They sent the firetruck!  They have a door-spreader that pops the edges enough to unseat the door and they can push in.  Wow.  They gave him a hard time and laughed over it, told him there was no charge.  
He told me about trying to time his mortgage payment, being on a conference call with Quicken Loans and his bank and Checkfree about the payment going and then being revoked twice.  He ended up having to go to the bank.  
He stated very clearly that he can not continue to see me and lie to the men in his church that will gather to support him.  I said I understand.  But I added that I hate to see him give up one of the two people left who care for him (me and his mother) and I am the only one he can really talk with, who will do things for him etc.  But only he can decide and I will abide by it.  Then he makes arrangements to see me again.  He sees it as a sign of weakness.  I don’t want to be his bad habit.  *sigh 
I want to help him, to be there for him but it adds up to… once again… NO SEX!  Argh.  I am trying to set the “one month grace” clock and not put up with this forever.
My other old flame contacted me again after almost a year.  I kept thinking he had some news or reason but he blathered along about his sons in the Little League Championships and his summer travels until I finally asked why he contacted me after almost a year.  “I missed you…” he says.  Hunh.  I texted with him while Kris slept on my lap and felt like a hussy!  
I woke Kris up at midnight so I could go to bed.  He had a cup of coffee and some potato chips.  I got ready for bed and came back out to find him sitting on the couch, staring into space.  I handed him some pillows and a blanket, kissed his forehead and left him to sleep.

by

Meet #22 Vacation Part 4 Going home

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

[If you missed the earlier parts of my vacation with Kris, check out Part 1,  Part 2 and Part 3]

I woke up at 7:20 am and turned off the alarm. I did my ablutions, dressed and finished packing.

Kris got a text from his wife telling him she is filing for a no-contest divorce. Ugh. This is 2 weeks since he got caught… without her ever seeing or speaking with him. And before the meeting with the minister! Wow.

He handed me his phone to read his text history and went off to the parking lot to reconnect the boat to the truck. I ate a cereal bar and marveled at her endless nasty rants. Kris returned to wash his hands and we took off at 9:15 am.

He was distracted and unhappy. I patted on his knee and tried not to talk too much. It was tough to be with him but I was glad he was not alone on this fateful day.  We stopped in Walpole to get gas and him a coffee.

The traffic was TERRIBLE! It took over 2 hours to do the 1 hour drive, including being stuck for 40 minutes less than a mile from home! Argh! It did give us time to talk about how special this weekend was for each of us. He got to escape the drama of his life for three nights and two blissful days, show me two of his favorite place, and have someone to listen and hold his hand when the bad news came. I got to see spectacular places I would never have gotten to see, have a vacation I haven’t had in years, and be with a nice man who knows what to do with vibrator!

He dropped me off at 11:30 am.  I sat at my desk and totaled up the costs for the trip.  I wanted to see how they split between us.

Cost

Saturday
     $40 Dinner at Olive Garden
   $100 Hotel
   ——-
   $140

Sunday
   $94 Lunch at Wequassett $94
   $25 Dinner at Double Dragon
 $114 Gas
 $100 Hotel
 ——-
 $333

Monday
   $8 Breakfast
$137 Ferry to MV for the truck plus passenger
 $25 Second Breakfast
 $34 Stop & Shop fruit, cheese, snacks $34
 $16 Ferry to Chappy
 $35 Dinner at the Net Result $35
 $72 Gas on MV
$100 Hotel
——-
$427

$600 Total he spent
$300 I spent on the hotel
——
$900 Total for 3 nights

Yikes! That total is nuts! And the day on the Vineyard was crazy expensive!  He spent twice as much as I did.  Neither of us has that money to spend.  He promised to pay me back for the hotel but I’m not going to let  him.  I’ll scrimp on other things this month.  It was so worth it to me to get away with him!  It felt like a once-in-a-lifetime treat!

=====

Kris was not in touch for the rest of the day.  That is unusual.  He usually calls or texts or emails when he gets home to let me know he made it, or tell me another story about something that happened along the way or something bothering him or some new development but… nothing.

I finally caved and sent him a quick email.  His glasses are a wreck and he doesn’t have the money for a fancy new pair.  A friend told me about getting her glasses online for free!  I thought it was worth mentioning…

=====

from: Sassy
to: Kris
date: Tue, Jul 8, 2014 at 7:44 PM
subject: Eyeglasses possibility
A friend mentioned that a website is offering “first pair free” for new customers.  Might be a way for you to get new lenses. 
http://www.coastal.com/Coupon-Applicable-Glasses

-S
=====

but it didn’t elicit a response.  *sigh

I spent the evening smiling at the photos I took of our trip and putting them online on Google + where he could see them.