Meet #23 Part 1 Reality

Thursday, July 10, 2014 
I had a lovely supper with my older sister and her beau last night at Court House Seafood over across the river in Cambridge.  I had their very fresh fried fish and shrimp with a baked potato and a stuffed clam!  
I finally heard from Kris last night after more than two days of silence. He had not been in touch since he dropped me off on Tuesday midday and I was beginning to wonder.  He had not missed a day in a long time.  He called while I was eating.  I stepped outside to talk.  He arranged to come visit tonight. 
I noticed some beautiful lilies as I left the restaurant:
He came over about 7:30 pm.  I fed him a pear.  It’s his favorite fruit.  He worked on the floxx plant he gave me that is out on my balcony, pruning and watering.  I filled the watering can for him and watered my other plants.  
He is a total mess.  We sat on the sofa with his head in my lap and he vented for about four hours.  He did not want to “do anything sexy.”  He told me he wrote the letter to his wife that the pastor recommended, attached it to an email since he doesn’t know where she is to mail it.  He sent it this morning and she has not responded.  
He is facing the nitty-gritty reality of life alone.  Completely alone.

  • No one to cut his hair.  He hasn’t been to a barber for 35 years.  
  • No one to pick him up when he drops off his motorcycle to be serviced, or take him back to pick it up when it’s done.  
  • Worrying about his wife “breaking into their house and taking things.”  
  • Being placed in an adversarial position over money.  
  • Finding a realtor to advise him on selling the house, what to fix or not worry about. 
  • His son suing him to get back trust money he thinks was mismanaged.  
  • Where will he live when the house sells? 

Ugh.  I stroked his hair and listened and offered suggestions.  He dozed on and off.  He grabbed swiss cheese and crackers to munch on. 

He told me the odd story of locking his house for the first time ever, to have some control over when his wife and son come to take things.  Then he didn’t take his keys, so he was locked out!  So he had to call the police to ask if they could get him in.  They sent the firetruck!  They have a door-spreader that pops the edges enough to unseat the door and they can push in.  Wow.  They gave him a hard time and laughed over it, told him there was no charge.  
He told me about trying to time his mortgage payment, being on a conference call with Quicken Loans and his bank and Checkfree about the payment going and then being revoked twice.  He ended up having to go to the bank.  
He stated very clearly that he can not continue to see me and lie to the men in his church that will gather to support him.  I said I understand.  But I added that I hate to see him give up one of the two people left who care for him (me and his mother) and I am the only one he can really talk with, who will do things for him etc.  But only he can decide and I will abide by it.  Then he makes arrangements to see me again.  He sees it as a sign of weakness.  I don’t want to be his bad habit.  *sigh 
I want to help him, to be there for him but it adds up to… once again… NO SEX!  Argh.  I am trying to set the “one month grace” clock and not put up with this forever.
My other old flame contacted me again after almost a year.  I kept thinking he had some news or reason but he blathered along about his sons in the Little League Championships and his summer travels until I finally asked why he contacted me after almost a year.  “I missed you…” he says.  Hunh.  I texted with him while Kris slept on my lap and felt like a hussy!  
I woke Kris up at midnight so I could go to bed.  He had a cup of coffee and some potato chips.  I got ready for bed and came back out to find him sitting on the couch, staring into space.  I handed him some pillows and a blanket, kissed his forehead and left him to sleep.

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