Category Archives: AM

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Planning with The Lawyer

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

From: The Lawyer
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 3:54 PM
Subject: hey there
back at work– wondering whether….?
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From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 4:35 PM
Subject: re: hey there
Yes please. 
Tomorrow afternoon?  My condo? 
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From: The Lawyer
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 5:01 PM
Subject: hey there
sounds great!   what times work for you??
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From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 5:27 PM
Subject: re: hey there
I’m flexible – any time. Late afternoon? 4?
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
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From: The Lawyer
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 5:49 PM
Subject: hey there
4 or 4:30 should work– where shall I present myself??
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From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 6:14 PM
Subject: re: hey there
Hooray!  *bounce* *bounce* 
Please come to [my address]
Detailed directions: 
[step by step from his office to my place]
Ping me when you’re close (Yahoo works, or text/call me [phone number] and I will be downstairs to let you into the underground garage for free easy out-of-sight parking. 
Google maps says it’s about 15 minutes, but it depends a lot on the traffic.
If you get to the entrance to a [a landmark], you’ve gone too far!  Stop and call me! 
Tell me again you are not allergic to cats. 🙂 
What else do you need to know?  
-Sassy
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From: The Lawyer
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2014 6:23 PM
Subject: re: hey there
perfect!
I am not allergic to cats

what else do i need to know?   what i might do for you that will make the afternoon one to remember!!

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I couldn’t think of anything to tell him to bring.  I thought of food or wine (for him) or chocolates or flowers… but none of that mattered.  I just wanted him.  I thought of saying that but decided it was too much.

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Guessing Game

Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Kris: I just spent 20 minutes staring at the send button. Match me in risk – guess what am i going to ask…miss smarty pants? clue: desperate people do desperate things (too easy for a smarty pants) 8:49 PM
Me: The cemetery is already closed.  8:52 PM
Me: You want some grapes? 8:53 PM
Me: Coffee? 8:53 PM
Me: Me? 8:53 PM
Me: I need a clue please. 9:37 PM
Kris: Really!!?? Thai Restaurant. offer u made I called “desperate”.  You’re playing with me. come on. you’re smarter than that. 9:53 PM
Me: Been a long day… 9:54 PM
Kris: still dont know? 9:55 PM
Me: No 9:56 PM
Me: But I want to!! 10:03 PM
Kris: want to what? 10:09 PM
Me: Know what you’re talking about. 🙂 10:09 PM
Kris: if u r tired this guessing game must b annoying…want to sleep on it or want more clues? 10:14 PM
Me: Please tell me! Curious! 10:15 PM
Kris: no. u have to guess. here’s another clue 10:16 PM
Kris: remember sitting at the Thai restaurant in NH? 10:17 PM
Kris: (that’s a yes or no question. 😉 10:18 PM
Me: Yes. Scallops veggies 10:19 PM
Kris: OMG. there’s more to life than sex and food! u asked me a question. u were offering to do something – not because u really wanted to….but because u knew I would like it. I said it was “desperate”. u said there was another way to look at it. I said maybe, but it feels a little desperate. COME ON! or I’m going to need proof u were really that smart. 😉 10:26 PM
Me: Aha. I know now. Take my first ever motorcycle ride on your bike. 10:27 PM
Kris: FINALLY!!! TOOK U LONG ENOUGH!!!!! 😉 10:30 PM

Kris: Hmmmm….. Think about it…let me know…. 11:35 PM


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Meet #27 Part 2 Goodbye again

Monday, August 11, 2014
I woke him right on the dot of 7 am as he’d requested, and we talked a bit more.  I was sitting at my desk, and he was standing beside me.  I hugged him around the waist.  He said he can not be in touch, should not see me.  He needs to say goodbye and mean it.  I told him I understand.  
I feel really calm about it this time, as I had a chance to know he is okay, making good progress, thinks well of me but needs to focus on his life.  I told him not to worry about me, but to remember I am here when he needs me.  I invited him to Thanksgiving Dinner if he doesn’t get a better offer.  My sister always has “orphans” there so he could blend in.

So… it’s a beautiful day and I am off to the North Shore with Hubby to eat lobster and celebrate being alive!  Today is the third anniversary of the end of my cancer treatment!
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Meet #27 Up on the roof

Sunday, August 10, 2014
I had a quiet Sunday morning, caught up on project work.  My phone beeped a little after lunch time. 
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from: Kris
to: Sassy
date: Sundary, August 10, 2014 12:42 pm
subject: seriously torn 
if my ambivalence was any higher i’d be schizophrenic.  deleted your phone number already. text it to me again.  or don’t…if my craziness is just too much.  even you have to have limits…though for whatever reason even i never found where they were….since you remained so “unflappable” all the time (bet no one’s used that word much with you lately)….
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I texted him my number again.  With a smiley.  
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I dashed off to a project meeting at 5 pm.  We got done in record time – 32 minutes!  
I had this very strong feeling that Kris would contact me again tonight.  I sat in my car for a few minutes after the meeting, wishing he’d ask me to dinner.  I couldn’t resist any longer.  I texted him.  “Dinner?”  I was going to offer to drive to NH so we could eat and talk at a restaurant. 
I went home and ate some of the bounty from my trip to the farm stand with Mom yesterday – fresh local corn, veggie risotto.  Twenty minutes after I got home, my phone beeped.  
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Me: Dinner?  5:41 PM
Kris: k…for me to contact u this way i might as well have just fucked u…in terms of having to hide things. u know me well enough to know exactly what i mean. dont reply right now…will write again soon. 6:01 PM
Kris: ok miss smarty pants…let’s play “Clue” and see how smart u really r… 😉 …. Here’s ur 1st clue…… 6:20 PM
Kris: Martin Milmore, sculptor, Boston….”American Union preserved…African slavery destroyed by the uprising of a great people…by the blood of fallen heroes.” (side of Sphinx). 6:25 PM
Kris: Jump in any time….need another clue? 6:26 PM
Kris: Tell boyfriend you’ll blow him later….have to play a game with a strange man. 6:27 PM
Kris: 😉 lol 6:28 PM
Me: 🙂 6:29 PM
Kris: ok….guess 6:29 PM
Me: Don’t have to guess. I know. But it closes at 7 pm. 6:30 PM
Kris: what’s the answer? 6:31 PM
Me: Mount Auburn Cemetery 6:32 PM
Kris: what about it? 6:32 PM
Me: Isn’t that right? 6:33 PM
Kris: yeah….but specifically. 6:33 PM
Me: the Civil War monument in front of the chapel 6:34 PM
Kris: yes. but in reference to me…right now 6:35 PM
Me: You wish you were there? 6:36 PM
Kris: close 6:36 PM
Me: You are there? 6:37 PM
Kris: yes 6:37 PM
Kris: think it closes at 8 6:38 PM
Me: Wow! Why? 6:38 PM
Me: May I join you? 6:39 PM
Kris: yes….reason I’m here….shouldnt….but want to….can u meet me at office? 6:42 PM
Kris: no wonder boys didnt like u. too smart. 😉 6:43 PM
Me: Yes 6:43 PM
Me: :p 6:46 PM
Me: You make me smile! 6:48 PM
Kris: ;)….u know i shouldnt b doing this…. and Will only b stealing a little time. sure u want to come?here today…..gone tomorrow 6:56 PM
Me: Do you have your earring in 6:58 PM
Kris: that’s random! but yes. bike too… leaving chaps on just for u… 😉 7:00 PM
Me: Almost there 7:03 PM
Kris: k 7:03 PM
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Kris played a guessing game with me, but the upshot was that he was sitting in the cemetery near my dad’s stone and wondered if I wanted to join him!  He had not seen my invite to dinner – he was driving to meet me!  Strange and wonderful how our minds were on the same track! 
I drove like a demon and made it there in 15 minutes. I was worried he would change his mind.  I pulled in at the office and there he was!  Phew!
He was sitting on his motorcycle, wearing full leathers.  So sexy!  I got a great, simple hug then we strolled through the flora and fauna and headstones.  We sat on the bench in the middle of Spruce Knoll and caught up on each other’s lives.  He asked me first thing if I had been with other men.  I told him about the two sexy phone calls, seeing the Blog Fan and the awful lunch with The Russian, but made it clear (in true Bill Clinton fashion) that I have not done any “penis in vagina” sex.  He was surprised.  
I admitted I had been crying, missing him much more than I would’ve expected.  I told him I had four pages of an email I wrote so I wouldn’t send it.  He was genuinely surprised.  
He said he should not be here with me – if anyone asked him when he had seen me last, he’d either have to tell the truth and get crap for it, or lie and get crap from himself.  He said he can’t see it as a regular option, but he is weak and needs someone to be nice to him and get some comfort.  We hugged and I patted his knee, held his hand, but nothing more. 
I had a list of over a dozen questions I had written down in the draft email, and he answered each one.  He has made real progress in the past three weeks! 
The big news is that he is renting out rooms in his house, so he won’t have to sell it.  He offered to buy his wife out and will not have to move.  This may not be long-term but is a brilliant way to lessen the upheaval in his life at this point and leave the door open for her to return.  He talked to 15 different realtors and had two come over to get an idea of the house’s value and the fixes that would have to be done before it goes on the market.  
He got his own phone account (he was on one in his wife’s name with his son) so his wife and son can’t monitor his activity that way anymore.  He has closed his AM account and the yahoo email that went with it (the one his son hacked). 
He said his wife is managing to communicate civilly about 75% of the time but still launches into invective and vitriol on a regular basis, with no sign of relenting.  He is weary of her constant reminders that he is a bad, evil, godless person.  Her lawyer has asked for a divorce hearing on Sept. 4th and in NH that can be a final decree!  Kris is getting free consultations with three lawyers – one thru his EAP at work, and two recommendations from a friend.  The first one he talked with said his wife’s lawyer is a reasonable person who will deal with them in good faith.  The lawyer also said, “One indiscretion in the past 25 years?  That should be forgiven.  I see it forgiven all the time!”
When he asked his wife why she is in such a hurry to divorce, she told him she wasted the best years of her life, and she needs to get started on finding someone new to marry who will be nice to her!  I told him everyone in chat thinks she was already cheating but he says he knows that can not be true.  He is astonished that she can talk that way less than 6 weeks after she found out, suggested that she take time to heal etc. but she yelled at him that it is not his concern anymore.  His children are not talking to him.  They tell his mother things and she passes them along. He went back to church and they are being supportive.   
He is hanging on to his “wild side.”  He is riding the motorcycle, did not cut his hair and left the earring in.  
So we talked amongst the dead until the cemetery closed at 8 pm.  He asked if I would go to a restaurant with him and I led him to the Greek place.  We drank iced tea, then shared a sampler platter of stuffed grape leaves, hummus, baba ganoush, taramousalata, tomatoes, cucumbers, tsatsiki, tabouleh, feta cheese and olives.  He tried the fried eggplant.  We shared a flan and the Greek coffee.  We stayed there until they closed at 10 pm.  I paid for dinner so his visit would not impact his finances.  We went out to the street and I told him I still wanted to talk – could we sit in my car?  He asked me if he could come back to my place and talk on the sofa?  I was surprised and pleased.  
So he followed me back and we went up to my roof deck to look at the super moon.  I hadn’t been up there in years – the view is amazing! We hugged and joked and I made it clear I wanted to kiss him and he refused.  He gave me a lovely back rub as I leaned over the railing.  It was so wonderful to be touched.
We returned to my living room. I sat on the sofa and he put his head in my lap.  I listened to him and stroked his hair.  He asked if he could sleep on the couch overnight.  Sure.  We talked until 1 am.  He fell asleep.  I covered him up and he asked me to wake him at 7 am.  I went off to bed.  What a day!  
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Yes

Saturday, August 9, 2014
Late tonight I noticed Kris was online on Gmail.  This is the first time in the three weeks since he said goodbye.  I wondered 
• Is he was courting someone else?  This was a special account we set up together, for us… so that thought made me growl.  But whatever.  
• Is his son was hacking this account?  Argh.  
• Is he just on there closing it?
I focused on the little green dot next to his name in the hangouts column on the left… begging him to write to me or ping me… but fearing that if he did it would set me back in getting over him.  I added a bunch of text to my “not gonna send it” email, so I wouldn’t ping him. 
Then that magic (1) showed up on my inbox.  A new email!  This better not be spam from LinkedIn!  
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from: Kris
to: Sassy
date: Saturday, August 9, 2014 11:22 pm
I shouldn’t be doing this…but I can’t stop thinking about you.  Text me your phone number. I deleted it.  I have my own phone plan so no one can monitor my texting—number is the same: [his phone number].  Sassy will never restrain herself…but I really miss the gentle, compassionate, caring, dedicated, “boring real you” the most.  
The things you said to me the last day we were together were more intimate than any sex in the world.  They broke my heart…they still make me cry.  They were so raw and real.  The thing that makes me cry the most is when you said matter of factly:  “No one flirts with me (real you).”  That broke my heart…it still makes me cry.  I should not be doing this…but I can’t resist.  Not promising to start up again…but might want to sit in the cemetary quietly some day with “real you” again.
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It was from him!!!  Sad but oh so gratifying for me to hear that he misses me!  and that I had not been crazy thinking he would suffer away from me.  I read his email over and over.  Do I want to answer?  Or not feed his slippage?  I picked up my phone to text him my number.  Just sent the number, nothing more.  Probably a record in brevity!
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Me: [my google voice number] 11:25 PM
Kris: S?  That you?  11:27 PM
Me: Yes. 11:28 PM
Kris: dont reply right now…u r unbelieveably respectful of others choices….thank u…..but dont reply now….cant deal with it…..shouldnt but Will probably contact u again soon…..so one word answer…..k?  11:34 PM
Me: Yes.  11:36 PM
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I can’t tell you how happy it made me to hear from him!!  I had told him I could not be his friend, but I have changed my mind.  I’ve decided I want to stay connected however he can handle.  I want to know what happens!  You can tell me I am an idiot. 

Hubby and I had a long talk starting at 1:30 am… I was too keyed up to sleep.  He told me he wants me to be happy but wishes I would get on a regular dating site like OK Cupid to date single men, or let it be known in the community that I’d like to date – he thinks the line would form to the left for my affections!  So strange to hear him say the opposite of what most people would think.  Here I am, being discreet, keeping my affairs private and out of our circle and he wants me to be more open!  He worries about me running into a betrayed spouse, another dangerous man, or the other perils.  I see his points but I can not fathom being “out” in my community.  I promised to think about it.  *sigh 
by

Annual lunch invitation

Ooookay… so I was getting antsy.

– I had not heard from Kris in nearly three weeks.  
– It was going on a month since we had sex.  
– The Blog Fan had gone silent again.  
– My meeting with The Russian was a dud and 
– I was not hearing from any other men. 

I don’t feel like jumping back onto AM for a while.  I need someone to touch me!!  Now what?


It was a slow day in the office, so I looked back through emails and lists and blog posts and thought… who would I like to see?  Is there anyone I want to catch up with?  Then it hit me… I came up with the brilliant idea to email The Lawyer.  There’s a fun thing that happens with The Lawyer in the late summer – his work slows down every so slightly and he finds time to indulge in physical passions!

I hate chasing after him but he makes me feel so good!

He was the first man I met from Ashley Madison in September 2012, and he pinged me again in September 2013… would he see me again in 2014?  Why not play up the “annual” angle? Worth a try!

I got brave and invited him to lunch! 

 =====

 From: Sassy

To: The Lawyer
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 9:49 AM
Subject: Annual lunch
Hiya!  Hope you’re having a grand summer.  Such beautiful days! 
Is it time for our annual lunch?  🙂 
-S
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I fretted… what if he’s on vacation?  What is he’s not interested?

He wrote back very quickly!  Hooray! 

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 From: The Lawyer

To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 10:35 AM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
lunch… or whatever else catches your fancy… would be wonderful!  ; ) 
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Awww… he is such a charmer.  I wrote back with an offer.  He usually wants to see me the same day he writes, so I felt comfortable saying the same. 

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From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 10:55 AM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
I fancy… you!  Today?
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I crossed my fingers.  Please please let him say YES! 

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From: The Lawyer
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 10:58 AM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
Not today… I’m sorry– but I most definitely would like to see you again– maybe next week? 
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Okay.. bad news.  Not today.  But good news – he wants me!   But he always says that and it’s only worked out once and… think positive thoughts!  Entice him! 

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 From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 11:04 AM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
Monday?  Or let me know.  I want… you! 
You make me smile as no one else does!  Mwah!  
-S
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From: The Lawyer
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 11:18 AM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
sad to say– I have to be away Monday and Tuesday– how does Thursday look? 
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From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 11:48 AM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
Ah… away… that is sad!  
Thursday looks great!  Do you want lunch and a smooch in public? or a late afternoon “nap” at my place?  At least this will give you something to fantasize about while you are away!  Remember my skin… my hands… my mouth? 
-S
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From: The Lawyer
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 2:25 PM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
ah.. the sassy one…. my memories are fond… and the thought of napping with you has already excited all my senses!!
sounds wonderful
I have to hop on a train soon, but let’s re connect before Thursday!!! 
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From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Friday, August 8, 2014 3:25 PM
Subject: re: Annual lunch
Please put me on your calendar for Thursday!  Ping me to get details.  Safe travels dear man.

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Sounds promising!  But so many times we make a tentative plan and then he cancels.  But this time of year has been magic!  Please please let it happen!
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Meeting The Russian

Thursday, August 7, 2014
From: Mikhail 
To: Sassy 
Sent: Thursday, August 7, 2014 3:45 AM
Subject: Getting together
Good morning Sexy,
I woke up in the middle or the night, and found your email. Thank you for reading my answers to your questions:)
Thursday noon – it’s already today – is fine. Yes, you…me…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I don’t remember any one of those places but trust your judgment. Loud vs. quiet – do we want not to be able to listen to each other but only look at each other with lots of lust:), or do we want other people to listen to what we re talking about? Tough choice.

For food I’d go to Border but food’s my second priority. I’d rather eat you with my eyes over there. So you need to decide which place is the most comfortable for our conversation.  I gather I’ll recognize you from my dreams:). I am not asking you for your phone #, but if you need to call me or I don’t show up on time, or we don’t find each other feel free to call me.

If you need to make an urgent medical appointment in the afternoon, please do it, you can always cancel it or switch it for the next week if you choose so:).
Sweet dreams, and I’ll see you at noon in one of those three places, please let me know which one.
M
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From: Sassy 
To: Mikhail
Sent: Thursday, August 7, 2014 8:49 AM
Re: Connection 
Good morning!  I’m so glad you can meet me today!! 
Let’s head for Border at 32 Church Street.  It has the right combo of food and some noise to cover our talking.  It’s a block from the T’s Church St. exit, or there’s a paid parking lot across the street. 
I will wait outside the door.  I am wearing a dark blue silk scarf and black top with dark blue slacks.  I have glasses and long silver hair. 
See you soon! 
-Sassy
=========
From: Mikhail 
To: Sassy 
Sent: Thursday, August 7, 2014 9:08 AM
Subject: re: Getting together
Good morning Sexy,
So Borders it is. I’m also very glad that we can meet today.
Outside the door is fine. I’m not sure yet what I’ll be wearing, light pants and short gray hair, that’s for sure.
See ya! Cannot wait!
-Mikhail
=========
I told a blog fan I was meeting a Russian man for lunch.  
He said, “NO Russians.  Trust me on this.”  
I chuckled.  “He’s been here since the 80s!”  
“No Russians.  Really.”  I changed the subject. 
I mentioned it in chat.  A guy there said, “Oh, I’d avoid Russians if I was you.”  
“Why?”  
“They tend to drink too much, and be very traditional in their gender roles,” he explained.
I have never run in to any ethnic generalizations on any other man.  It made me determined to meet him, to see if he fit those patterns. 
=========
The Meet 
I was antsy all morning.  I got a lot done but as midday approached, I couldn’t concentrate.  My boss was away at a meeting, so I could re-read Mikhail’s emails, have all his details fresh in my mind.  
Finally the time came to go to the restaurant.  I arrived at 12:02 pm.  No sign of him.  Ugh.  I hate being the first one there, scanning the street… is that him?  Or that guy?  What about this one walking around the corner?  No.  I pinged a woman from chat to pass the time.  She wasn’t around.  
Finally an email – “Traffic half a mile away”  Okay.  I leaned against the building to settle in to wait.  I looked up and saw a man crossing the street, smiling at me.  Hunh… that was fast!  He was tall, slim and… not very good looking.  He looked like Mikhail Gorbachev!  But whatever.  Looks don’t matter to me once I like the guy.  
He approached me, asked, “Sassy?” and I smiled.  I hugged him.  But he didn’t hug me back.  That’s never happens!  Most men want to hold me, press my chest against theirs for as long as I let them!  He untangled himself quickly and I jumped back.  He waved his hand toward the door of the restaurant and held it for me.  I approached the hostess and asked for a table for two.  She seated us in a quieter corner at a four top.  He pulled out my chair and sat down on my right.  We looked each other over and smiled.  
I peeked at the menu but he didn’t.  I asked, “Do you already know what you want?” 
“We both know what we want.  Let’s get out of here,” he said. 
I was taken aback and replied, “I’m here for lunch and to get to know you.”  I touched his arm and he moved away.  Ugh.
It was very hard to hear over the chatter.  I wanted a bit of noise to cover any salacious conversation we might have, but this was too much!  I made a note to go elsewhere next time. 
Plus he had a very strong accent.  I like accents, and work with people from all over the world, but this was especially tricky. 
I engaged in small talk, “Have you been to this restaurant before?”  He shook his head.  
“What’s your favorite place to eat?” 
He said, “I like lots of places.”  
The waitress asked us about drinks and I ordered iced tea.  He asked for water.  He stared at me.  I stared back.  He looks like the Cold War president of Russia – Mikhail Gorbachev!

I felt like it was his turn to ask me something, say something, but he just stared.  I said, “You said there were so many questions you wanted to ask but you would do it in person…”  
He smiled and said, “You sure you want lunch?  We can go sit in my car.”  Aha!  I get it now.  He thought I would go off with him without eating and now he’s ticked!  Well!

The waitress returned with our drinks and asked if we wanted to order.  I said I was ready, and he stared at me then at her, and I said, “I think he needs a couple of minutes?” He nodded and she left us.  He made a production of opening the menu and looking at it, and I struggled to keep an open mind.  He was obviously upset that I would not leave with him.  Argh.  

He had told me he likes seafood so I pointed out a couple of dishes I’ve seen friends order and enjoy.  He closed the menu and said, “You must come here a lot.”  
“I don’t get out for lunch much, but I do eat here with co-workers quite a bit,” I answered. 
“You only have an hour?”  
“I can push it a bit, but yes, I shouldn’t stay too much longer than that,” I answered. 
The waitress reappeared and asked for our order.  I got my usual cup of gumbo and crawfish etouffee appetizer, and he ordered the veggie jambalaya.  Maybe now we could talk? 
“Could you skip out on the afternoon?” he asked.  
“Not today,” I answered.  I wondered if he was going to ask me anything other than something about how to get me alone fast. 
“When did you last have sex?” He asked.  Well… that’s a little better but eh… so typical and something that can open a can of worms. 
“About a month,” I answered.  He nodded. 
“About the same for me,” he said and sighed.
“What ended it?” he asked.  Ugh. I don’t want to think about that!! 
“He got caught,” I said.  “And you?” 
“What?” He asked. 
“How did your last affair end?” I clarified. 
“Ah, the same,” he said.  “Her husband saw texts,” he added.  He proceeded to tell me all about how she was busted and how tough it is to stay safe with all the technology and how wonderful she was in bed, and how their schedules matched and how she liked to skinny dip and that he would miss her, but he was okay now, ready to start again. 
I sat there thinking of Kris.  How he was intensely curious about me.  How he would briefly answer my questions about women he had seen then say it was more than 20 years ago and he couldn’t remember and ask me something else about me.  I thought of how Kris touched me, patting my arm, then my hand, leaning in to touch my shoulder and whisper in my ear.  
I realized I am not ready.  Especially not with this guy!  He didn’t care about me… I could be any woman.  Ugh. I decided not to share much… I was not going to see him again and did not want him going away with much info. 
The food arrived and I made myself calm down and eat.  He continued talking about his previous lady!  When we had cleared our plates, he paid the bill with cash and I thanked him quite sincerely for lunch.  He had dropped a whopping $11 on me.  It was the only good part of this outing!  
He asked if he could walk me back to my office.  I said that was a bad idea – too many people I know on the way.  He nodded, asked if I wanted to walk him back to his car.  I said I really needed to get back.  He asked if we could plan another meet.  I said I would email him.  He sighed and took my hand and said, “I would like that.”  I smiled and said, “I will email… soon.”  He got up and shook my hand and left me sitting at the table. 
I wondered how long I should wait to email to say thanks for lunch but no thanks.  I had to leave some time, to show I had thought about it, but not string him along.  I planned to wait until some time in the evening.  I tried to work but ended up drafting the email about two hours later and… hit send by mistake!  Oops! 
=====
From: Sassy    
To: Mikhail
Sent: Thursday, August 7, 2014 2:58 PM
Subject: Re: Getting together
Dear Mikhail, 
It was a pleasure to meet you!  Thank you very much for lunch.  
I have considered carefully whether to see you again, and I am sorry to say that I can not do it at this time.  I thought I was ready to start again, but find myself only thinking of the other man.  This is not good.  You deserve better.  
Best of luck in your search for a wonderful lady! 
===========
I prayed that he would not try to convince me otherwise, or say he’d check back with me. 
He replied half an hour later.

=====

From: Mikhail 
To: Sassy 
Sent: Thursday, August 7, 2014 3:26 PM
Subject: Getting together
Dear Sassy,
Thank you for meeting me, and I understand your point.
Good luck to you as well!
M
=======
Phew.  That seems final.  Hooray! I closed that door.

I was happy to have tried.  Back to the drawing board!

by

Setting up a meet

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
From: Mikhail
To: Sassy 
Sent: Wednesday, August 6, 2014 10:14 AM
Subject: Re: Good morning Stranger
Good morning Sassy,
I love your flowery expressions. I don’t think I’ve ever heard “I am bushed”. My wild guess is that it means you want to go to bed with a hot and sexy guy who will be rubbing your back, nibbling your ears, then kissing your blue eyes, and going down from there making a long trip with many sweet detours torturing you with his slowness. And you there is a lot to kiss and caress. Yummy!!! My second guess is that you are really tired, and want him to bring you to the state of ecstasy faster than usual. Are there any other interpretations that I’m not aware of?
Does your Mom live by herself? I gather she followed you by moving to MA from upstate NY. I’ve been through that with my parents too. But now my Dad (Mom passed away 7 years ago) is in a nursing home, where he is taken care of. I visit him once or twice a week, but all the pills, food, etc., are provided, so we can just talk. It’s sad to watch a very intelligent and active person losing all that.
Back to busy life. I’ll have hectic time in the last two weeks of August, if not before that. I still think it won’t be crazy. When does your hectic time start? Do you ever open these emails during the day?
You never told me about your fantasies, how important is it for you that our fantasies match? We can always learn something new from each other. Do you know much about tantric sex? Are you interested? What else is really important for you that you’d like to know about me? I don’t ask you about your family life, etc. Even if it defines the way we are in many ways, it’s not something that for me would determine whether we are up for a great affair. To me a great affair is when two people care about each other, and want to please each other both in bed and out of it within an unfortunately very short time that they have in their busy lives. And not really knowing you – not yet – I’m shy about asking more about your story. It does not mean that I don’t want to know more about you. Btw, what school did you go to? If it’s not a secret.
OK, back to work. Looking forward to hearing from you, and lots of good things that we will want to share.
M
===========
From: Sassy
To: Mikhail
Sent: Wednesday, August 6, 2014 12:02 PM
Re: Good morning Stranger
Good morning hot stuff!  Your email has been tingling! 
Flowery expressions, huh?  People tell me I do have a big vocabulary.  I like to use different words.  Bushed is “really tired.”  Not sure how the word for small shrubbery came to mean that, but English is odd that way! 
I probably would perk up if I had a man close by to excite me! 
Mom is still on her own.  My sister is pushing her to move to assisted living but she is not ready.  With help from me and my sisters, she does okay.  My dad was in a nursing home his last three months.  That was a strange mix of relief that someone else could help and concern over how they did it!  We encouraged them to move here for 20 years, and they finally did it 7 years ago when their first grandchild was born.  🙂  I am so lucky she is close by. 
My crazy time at work starts Aug. 18 and runs through the 27th.  I am making a list now of all that has to happen and wondering how it will but we always make it through!  
I usually open emails in the early morning and during lunch, though may not be able to respond.  My boss is out at a meeting right now, so I am thinking about you… and taking a special chance to write! 
I don’t know anything about tantric sex, other than it’s a checkbox on AM.  Do you?  Would you teach me?  
My name… an old flame gave it to me fours years ago.  He found me online after 35 years and wanted to know if I was “the same sassy girl” he knew in high school.  He helped me find my “Sassy” side, and helped me believe a man could want me even if my husband didn’t.  But he was military, married and miles away, so he encouraged me to find a local man. I didn’t think anyone else would want me, but I am trying it because I fought breast cancer three years ago, and am whole and healthy now and want to live life to the fullest! 
My “real name” is for a busy business woman who takes care of her husband and mother and volunteers in her spare time.  She is quite boring and shy!  Sassy is sexy and fun!  And using another name protects me from bad men or their angry wives who would make my life bad if they knew real info. Sassy has her own email, phone number, and you may notice that I don’t put certain things in email or answer some questions. Having played with a military man, and heard stories from a lot of philandering people, I have learned a lot about how to be discreet and safe.  I hope that won’t be a problem for you.
I am thinking about meeting you, being with you.  Four practical questions: 
Please tell me that you know about condoms and use them routinely.  Have you been tested for STDs?  All this fun is great but I don’t want to risk my life on it.  Do you usually take a woman to a hotel? Do you know how to cover your tracks online? 
Perhaps a quick first look and a kiss if you want?  Do you know a good public place with easy parking or want me to choose one?  
Have a wonderful Wednesday! 
-Sassy
=====
From: Mikhail
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, August 6, 2014 1:40 PM
Re: Good morning Stranger
Hi Sassy,
and I like your name. Thanks for the explanation.
and thank you for making my day. I also have this tingling feeling about you, and it keeps growing. You have a magic remote power.  I’m happy to hear that you are getting ready to get together. Don’t
have much time now, will answer your critical questions between the lines, everything else later..
I am fairly busy Friday, I have a meeting starting in the late morning which may last who knows how long. This leaves us today or tomorrow. I have no limitations later today or tomorrow. We can meet somewhere for lunch tomorrow, and then if we want to continue, you may have your drs appointment. If you don’t need to rush home, we can get together after 5 today, but I would need to know soon, you can call me [his number]. because I don’t read my special email all the time. I may be formal on the phone, but that won’t be the guy you want to spend hot time with:). You may always leave me a message. See, I even trust you with my phone #. As for place, during the day it should be close to where you are. More inside:). I’m very excited about meeting you. Have a good afternoon,
M
======
From: Mikhail
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, August 6, 2014 10:53 PM
Subject: Re: Good morning Stranger
Good morning hot stuff!  Your email has been tingling! 
You do have a very big vocabulary. If we compare American English with the British one, British is much more complicated I think. It’s probably happened so that poor immigrants like me could express themselves sufficiently. Like any other language, English has lots of unexplainable expressions whose sources are long forgotten. 
I wonder if perking up includes groping this man and bringing him very close to your precious body. Another mystery of English language which intend to resolve for myself, with a lot of your help, naturally. 
Parents are all stubborn, unlike us, but are not we lucky to have them – or some of them – around. Even with my dad being semi-senile now he tells me stories about his affairs. I doubt I’l ever catch up with him.
I believe I don’t need to convince you to put me on a very short list of things that need to be taken care of before the 18th. 
Thank you, Sassy, I appreciate our messages – they make my day much better. Can you imagine what may happen when we get closer to each other. What a dream!
I read about tantric sex a while ago, but it looked like something that could be done when you have a whole night with your lover, and don’t need to rush back into the real world. Not right away, but if we have a chance to spend many hours making love we should try it. Speaking of which, is it easy for you to get away for 24 hours? Does your husband go away on business or whatever? 
I usually see spelling cum, so what’s right? The only problem is that with a condom it becomes tricky, but we’ll try. I bet you that coming inside is much more pleasant, but if the lady wishes, especially a lady with the beautiful chest like yours – just thinking of it puts me on fire – it will be my pleasure to do it. Do you like watching porn? I have not watched them for ages. Toys – we’ll see. I had some toys but I think I tossed them some years ago. Will look in the basement. You are a fantastic conversationalist, and there are many ways to communicate your feelings, desires both using words and various parts of the body. we will learn each other’s body language in addition to words. And even if I don’t know all of your dreams (there is a good chance that you don’t know them either), two creative people can always create more and more things to enjoy and share. We’ll get to details soon. 
I did all of my schooling in Russia, never learnt anything in this country:)
When you confront extreme situations like cancer you really look at the life differently, and your friend was right. Hope you just found that local man. We live much longer, and sometimes I think that we should have a law that every marriage gets dissolved after 10 years. Period. And people who want to stay married after that should pay high penalty. What do you think?
Your name is not a problem.  Not at all. We want to enhance our lives and share the best pleasure there is in life, and we should be open with each other, but to a degree. If there is something that you don’t want me to know or I don’t want to share with you, that’s perfectly fine. As you probably see, by my nature I’m quite open, but I also have my limits.
We can talk when we meet about the practicalities, if you decide to continue.  Good thinking! I mean thinking about meeting me. If you are comfortable with that tomorrow – Thursday, that would be great! Since I don’t know where you are located, or let me put it differently, in what area you want to meet, I cannot say anything. Give me a hint, please… But I’m sure you know places in an area where you want to meet, so whatever you choose is fine with me.
M. 
============ 
From: Mikhail G
To: Sassy 
Sent: Wednesday, August 6, 2014 10:53pm 
Re: Connection 
Good evening Sexy,
I can finally write something more personal. And I hope we can get together tomorrow, for a first kiss only or for much much more, whatever you are comfortable with. I’ll go inside your curves below, oops, lines, to respond, and then come back here for more.
I’m back on top after answering your remaining questions. I hope we can meet tomorrow, not only because I’m so eager to get to know you but also because it will be a delay of several days.
OK, good night kisses, please let me know what you think.
E-hugs, e-kisses, e-much much more,
M  
=======
From: Sassy       
To: Mikhail
Sent: Wednesday, August 6, 2014 11:39 PM
Subject: Re: Good morning Stranger
Hiya hot stuff, 
Thank you for answering my questions – the serious and the silly.  All of it sounds good!  
So Thursday… tomorrow… you… me… could you meet me for lunch?  The parking is the tough part, but it is a quiet time so you might find a street spot and feed the meter, or pop into a garage?   
There are 3 places I’d recommend – do you know any of them?  Prefer one? 
Border Cafe 32 Church St – seafood, Mexican/Creole, loud 
Finale at 30 Dunster St and Mt Auburn – soup, sandwiches, groovy food and stunning chocolate desserts, quiet
Dolphin seafood at 1105 Mass Ave, up a floor – seafood basics, quiet
Let me know what you think and I can be there at noon if that works for you? 
-S

by

The Russian’s fantasy

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

From: Sassy
To: Mikhail 
Sent: Tuesday, August 5, 2014 2:13 AM
Re: Good night Stranger
Hiya Mikhail, 
Thanks again for your messages!  I’m glad you get my sense of humor.  I always get nervous after I write, and you didn’t keep me waiting very long!  So sorry I was off the grid and couldn’t get back to you for awhile!! 
Forgive me if I need to email a bit before meeting.  I’ve had a couple of bad experiences when guys were in a hurry, so I want to explore and build up some trust.  And I don’t want to be with just anybody… I want to know you, so you know it is you I am there for.  It won’t take too long, but please be patient.  
How strange that you were around Albany!  I don’t hear that often.  Was it Schenectady?  I hate to guess your origins…Google says Mikhail is Russian or Ukranian… am I close?  What brought you to the US? 
I am an office manager at a big place, supposed to be there 9-5 but I do get days off or leave early for “doctors appointments”.  I am headed into a hectic time at the end of August, but most of the year I can be away from the office for part or all of the day.  Are you free weekdays only or can you have a late afternoon meet sometimes or a weekend time? 
My favorite day off involves a drive along the coast, lobster for lunch and seeing the ocean or the mountains.  I have a bunch of day trips marked in Google Maps, with everything from Ogunquit, Maine to Lake Winnipesaukee, NH to Tiverton, RI! 
If I were to take you out to dinner for a special occasion, where would you want to go?  What would you order?  Do you cook?  I don’t, but I make really good reservations!  
Do you have a fantasy… something you have not done or not done for a long time that I might fulfill?  I want some hint as to whether our styles mesh. 
Finally, thank you ever so much for the sweet good night wishes! They felt very special. Hope you have sweet sexy dreams!  Hugs with groping, and an ear nibble… Mwah!
-Sassy
=====
From: Mikhail G
To: Sassy 
Sent: Tuesday, August 5, 2014 9:43 AM
Subject: Fantasy
Instead of working I’m thinking how to respond to your question about fantasies that we can go fulfill together. It’s not only sexual. I have never had any serious deviational fantasies. And my fantasies were always about specific people, I should rater say ladies, not in the abstract. Playing games like giving a complete control to one of us is probably as far as my imagination goes.
How about a ride by the ocean, maybe walking along the beach, feeling the pull but pretending that we resist it. Then we happen to find a secluded spot and go for skinny dipping holding our hands, caressing each other, talking sweet nonsense, and finally stop resisting the temptation. If you like skinny dipping, I know a nice place:). In the winter we can replace it by Jacuzzi.
What is your favorite fantasy? Are we on the same page here as well?
More e-kisses, trying to resist the temptation,
M
========
From: Mikhail
To: Sassy 
Sent: Tuesday, August 5, 2014 9:21 PM
Subject: Re: Good night Stranger
Good evening,
How was your day? The weather was great but like yesterday I had nobody to talk to outside(:.
I hope I did not ask any inappropriate questions this morning. In my mind I’m still trying to answer your question about my fantasies. Perhaps I’m too grounded in reality, don’t know. Honestly, my biggest fantasy now is to get to know you, and do my best to make sure that we enjoy things that we want to share I’m eagerly awaiting your answer to the same question, your fantasies may open a light for me. I’m not talking about such obvious things like a long foreplay, using various parts of your body to please your lover.
There was a good joke. An old guy – like me – had sex with a young lady – like you. Later she told her friend. It was fantastic, I could never imagine that a guy at his age can perform so well. We enjoyed the foreplay for almost two hours, and then we had great sex for another two hours. The guy also shared his impressions with a friend. It was horrible. I could not get an erection for a couple of hours, and then I could not get it off for another couple of hours. That’s almost my fantasy but with one exception. We can enjoy our foreplay but not without erection:)
I did have sweet dreams about you last night, hope for more. How about you flying over so that we can dream together.
Good night,
M
========
From: Sassy 
To: Mikhail
Sent: Tuesday, August 5, 2014 10:41 PM
Subject: Re: Good night Stranger
Hiya Mikhail! 
I had a busy time at the office trying to catch up from yesterday and roll along with today, then headed out to my Mom’s place in the burbs.  I take care of her pills and take her out for supper.  By the time I get home, I am bushed! So I will say sleep well and try to write more tomorrow. Mwah! 
-Sassy

by

Writing to The Russian

Monday, August 4, 2014
I was off from work, taking a vacation day to catch up on stuff at home.  I had hoped to go out on an adventure, but Hubby was having a bad day and sleeping so I sat at my computer and watched porn for awhile.  I talked to a blogger about the new AM guy, asked his advice on whether I should jump back in.  He was very encouraging.  I looked at the message I’d drafted yesterday, tried to make it a little shorter, funnier.  I finally got it to where I could send it. I wanted to send it before lunch time so he might look at it.  
==========
Monday, August 4, 2014
From: Sassy
To: FunFan
Sent: Monday, August 4, 2014 11:38 am 
Subject: Connection 
Hiya F.F.! How are you this fine day? I hope your week is off to a grand start. I am off work and smiling at your message! You are a great writer – it’s wonderful to read such upbeat words from a fellow who can send five paragraphs with no typos. 🙂 
Europe, eh? Intriguing! What country would I want? Hmmm… doesn’t matter. I’ve gone from London to Rome and met great people everywhere. Have you been in MA a long time? I was raised in upstate NY, came here for college and stayed. 
Age means little to me. It’s not an accurate measure of a man’s maturity or compatibility! You sound quite vibrant! 
I am curious. How did you find AM? What brings you here? Are you a “none at home, need something” or “have something, want something else” or “have something, need MORE!” type? I’m in the first category sadly, so basics – holding hands, a hug, a back rub – are treats for me. But I want so much more! 
What would you like to know? Ask whatever… I am very open and you can’t offend me unless you are Republican or a Yankees fan, and I have even transcended those for a nice man. 
I’ve been told I’m the nicest woman ever, a great communicator, very discreet, no drama. I’m looking for fun and passion and a confidante. I am demure and proper in “real life.” I want someone to look beyond that and unleash the wild woman! I can not leave my husband, so I want to find someone who will be happy being my sweet sexy secret. Can that be you? 
Let’s move off AM to email? You can find me at the same username on Yahoo. I find that a better interface. Hugs with groping! – Sassy 
========
He wrote back in about three hours! And he figured out how to find me on Yahoo! 
=========
From: Mikhail
To: Sassy 
Sent: Monday, August 4, 2014 2:53pm 
Re: Connection 
Hi Sassy,
Thank you for getting back to me and sending my week off to a great start! My day is busy, but it’s nice outside. I wish I knew you’.re off.
Thank you for the inspiration, you are a greater writer!
What country – much further to the East than London or Rome, it was not my first choice for a place to be born, but even my Mom did not ask me.
I’ve been in MA over 30 years. Actually I spent about 18 months in upstate NY, near Albany, but was commuting home on weekends.
I found AM by chance, read about it somewhere. What about you? I’m in the first category, no doubt about it. None at home, need much more. People live much longer these days bit not all of them remain vibrant forever(:. You get the picture. Perhaps we need a law that marriages should last no more than 10 years:) What do you think? We seem to be looking for the same thing. And I’m not a Yankees fan, that’s for sure.
I want to know a lot, I’m also quite open. Let me start with practicalities. Do you often have days off? I work for myself, and can typically schedule my time during the week.
Actually, here is an idea. Are you in Boston today? The weather is great, and if you are ready to go for a walk of for coffee, or whatever with a complete stranger (who wants to get to know:)), I’m open. I’m 10 minutes away from Alewife, and can leave pretty much right now to hop on the T and meet you. But if it does not work, I’m looking forward to getting together some time soon, and will be asking more questions.
I’ll finish on that right now, will wait for your response.
Mikhail – now you can easily guess where I’m from.
=========

And I didn’t like the message. There were typos but not too bad.  However, he pushed to meet.  No no no.  Guys!  DO NOT DO THAT!  He didn’t ask about me except details that would frame our meets. I could be any woman!  If I am going to meet you, I want to know that you are meeting ME, not just any random woman you can fuck. 
And he’s from Eastern Europe?  I can’t justify it, but I had a bad reaction to that.  And I fought against it – it made me want to meet him to see if he could be better than the stories I’ve heard about men on chat. I read over the message several times and could not think how to respond. 
He wrote again before I could decide.  
======
From: Mikhail
To: Sassy 
Sent: Monday, August 4, 2014 4:42 PM
Subject: More on Monday afternoon
Hi again,
I gather my rush offer of taking advantage of your day off did not arrive at a good time.
I’m re-reading your email, you are so funny – lol:)
What is your second favorite thing to do on a day off like that? Do you often have days off? What would be your ideal day off? That is if for whatever reason you cannot spend the whole day the way I’m thinking about:)
Back to personal story. My situation seems to be exactly (maybe some details differ) the same as yours. I’m not planning to leave my wife but I have no desire to become a monk. I need fun and passion in my life, and the only way to have them is when you share them with a very good lover and friend. And that should be one person:) I love the sex part of it, but love making is so much more. We both seem to know what we want and need so I should not be telling you things that you know as well as I do. Rubbing your back would be nice, followed by more, and much more.
I am very curious about you, and would like to find out about your favorite books, music, trips, other things. And I certainly want to know more about your intimate desires, but that is easier to show than discuss in email. I am very interested in us becoming friends and lovers, and while men have no patience, I want our connection to work, and to move ahead with the speed that you are comfortable with. Unless you have even less patience to get to know each other than I do:). Your comfort is the most important thing for me in trying to build a great love affair.
What would you like to know before we meet. If you want to exchange pictures, we can do that. What days are good for you? I’m flexible. Being two proper adults in what you call ‘real life’ we can pretend to have a business meeting, but I cannot hold your hand or rub your back during a business lunch(:. No, let’s show our passion to each other even if we don’t show it to the world.
Cannot wait to be next to you when you turn into a wild woman!
E-hugs, e-kisses, e-back rubs, and looking forward to the real thing,
Mikhail
========
This was better!  Fun, more about me, original phrases at the end.  So which guy would I be meeting? 
He wrote to me on AM to be sure I was getting his messages.  I wrote a quick note back to assure that I did, and would write back soon.  He wrote me again on Yahoo. 
=============

From: Mikhail
To: Sassy 
Sent: Monday, August 4, 2014 10:03 PM
Subject: Good night Stranger
Good night Stranger,
I wish I could share with you all the dreams:)
Sending you lots (but never enough) E-hugs, E-kisses, E-everything, and wish they could grow into real hugs, real kisses , real everything soon.
Some watering and fertilizing should help as long as the ingredients are right. Are they? . The magic is around the corner. After I read you morning email I hate getting back into the skin of a proper gentleman, would rather be a wild creature.
Do you like skinny dipping? Let’s do it.
Good night,
M
=========
There was something so poignant about it.  It touched me. Such fervent wishes!  Such beautiful allusions.  
I had a surprise call from The Jock that I met in April!  He was finally out on another business trip (the only time he contacts me).  He let me blather about Kris.  He identified with him, said his wife would probably react the same way.  I told him about the new AM guy.  He said to avoid Eastern Europeans.  I asked why?  He said they are likely too dominant for me.  I had not detected any sign of that, other than pushing for a fast meet, but promised to watch out. 
We talked for two hours and I got to hear him cum!!  Yum.

I was too tired to answer Mikhail but resolved to write something longer and good in the morning. But then I was too keyed up to sleep.  So I wrote back to him.