Sunday, August 10, 2014
I had a quiet Sunday morning, caught up on project work. My phone beeped a little after lunch time.
date: Sundary, August 10, 2014 12:42 pm
subject: seriously torn
if my ambivalence was any higher i’d be schizophrenic. deleted your phone number already. text it to me again. or don’t…if my craziness is just too much. even you have to have limits…though for whatever reason even i never found where they were….since you remained so “unflappable” all the time (bet no one’s used that word much with you lately)….
I texted him my number again. With a smiley.
I dashed off to a project meeting at 5 pm. We got done in record time – 32 minutes!
I had this very strong feeling that Kris would contact me again tonight. I sat in my car for a few minutes after the meeting, wishing he’d ask me to dinner. I couldn’t resist any longer. I texted him. “Dinner?” I was going to offer to drive to NH so we could eat and talk at a restaurant.
I went home and ate some of the bounty from my trip to the farm stand with Mom yesterday – fresh local corn, veggie risotto. Twenty minutes after I got home, my phone beeped.
Me: Dinner? 5:41 PM
Kris: k…for me to contact u this way i might as well have just fucked u…in terms of having to hide things. u know me well enough to know exactly what i mean. dont reply right now…will write again soon. 6:01 PM
Kris: ok miss smarty pants…let’s play “Clue” and see how smart u really r… 😉 …. Here’s ur 1st clue…… 6:20 PM
Kris: Martin Milmore, sculptor, Boston….”American Union preserved…African slavery destroyed by the uprising of a great people…by the blood of fallen heroes.” (side of Sphinx). 6:25 PM
Kris: Jump in any time….need another clue? 6:26 PM
Kris: Tell boyfriend you’ll blow him later….have to play a game with a strange man. 6:27 PM
Kris: 😉 lol 6:28 PM
Me: 🙂 6:29 PM
Kris: ok….guess 6:29 PM
Me: Don’t have to guess. I know. But it closes at 7 pm. 6:30 PM
Kris: what’s the answer? 6:31 PM
Me: Mount Auburn Cemetery 6:32 PM
Kris: what about it? 6:32 PM
Me: Isn’t that right? 6:33 PM
Kris: yeah….but specifically. 6:33 PM
Me: the Civil War monument in front of the chapel 6:34 PM
Kris: yes. but in reference to me…right now 6:35 PM
Me: You wish you were there? 6:36 PM
Kris: close 6:36 PM
Me: You are there? 6:37 PM
Kris: yes 6:37 PM
Kris: think it closes at 8 6:38 PM
Me: Wow! Why? 6:38 PM
Me: May I join you? 6:39 PM
Kris: yes….reason I’m here….shouldnt….but want to….can u meet me at office? 6:42 PM
Kris: no wonder boys didnt like u. too smart. 😉 6:43 PM
Me: Yes 6:43 PM
Me: :p 6:46 PM
Me: You make me smile! 6:48 PM
Kris: ;)….u know i shouldnt b doing this…. and Will only b stealing a little time. sure u want to come?here today…..gone tomorrow 6:56 PM
Me: Do you have your earring in 6:58 PM
Kris: that’s random! but yes. bike too… leaving chaps on just for u… 😉 7:00 PM
Me: Almost there 7:03 PM
Kris: k 7:03 PM
Kris played a guessing game with me, but the upshot was that he was sitting in the cemetery near my dad’s stone and wondered if I wanted to join him! He had not seen my invite to dinner – he was driving to meet me! Strange and wonderful how our minds were on the same track!
I drove like a demon and made it there in 15 minutes. I was worried he would change his mind. I pulled in at the office and there he was! Phew!
He was sitting on his motorcycle, wearing full leathers. So sexy! I got a great, simple hug then we strolled through the flora and fauna and headstones. We sat on the bench in the middle of Spruce Knoll and caught up on each other’s lives. He asked me first thing if I had been with other men. I told him about the two sexy phone calls, seeing the Blog Fan and the awful lunch with The Russian, but made it clear (in true Bill Clinton fashion) that I have not done any “penis in vagina” sex. He was surprised.
I admitted I had been crying, missing him much more than I would’ve expected. I told him I had four pages of an email I wrote so I wouldn’t send it. He was genuinely surprised.
He said he should not be here with me – if anyone asked him when he had seen me last, he’d either have to tell the truth and get crap for it, or lie and get crap from himself. He said he can’t see it as a regular option, but he is weak and needs someone to be nice to him and get some comfort. We hugged and I patted his knee, held his hand, but nothing more.
I had a list of over a dozen questions I had written down in the draft email, and he answered each one. He has made real progress in the past three weeks!
The big news is that he is renting out rooms in his house, so he won’t have to sell it. He offered to buy his wife out and will not have to move. This may not be long-term but is a brilliant way to lessen the upheaval in his life at this point and leave the door open for her to return. He talked to 15 different realtors and had two come over to get an idea of the house’s value and the fixes that would have to be done before it goes on the market.
He got his own phone account (he was on one in his wife’s name with his son) so his wife and son can’t monitor his activity that way anymore. He has closed his AM account and the yahoo email that went with it (the one his son hacked).
He said his wife is managing to communicate civilly about 75% of the time but still launches into invective and vitriol on a regular basis, with no sign of relenting. He is weary of her constant reminders that he is a bad, evil, godless person. Her lawyer has asked for a divorce hearing on Sept. 4th and in NH that can be a final decree! Kris is getting free consultations with three lawyers – one thru his EAP at work, and two recommendations from a friend. The first one he talked with said his wife’s lawyer is a reasonable person who will deal with them in good faith. The lawyer also said, “One indiscretion in the past 25 years? That should be forgiven. I see it forgiven all the time!”
When he asked his wife why she is in such a hurry to divorce, she told him she wasted the best years of her life, and she needs to get started on finding someone new to marry who will be nice to her! I told him everyone in chat thinks she was already cheating but he says he knows that can not be true. He is astonished that she can talk that way less than 6 weeks after she found out, suggested that she take time to heal etc. but she yelled at him that it is not his concern anymore. His children are not talking to him. They tell his mother things and she passes them along. He went back to church and they are being supportive.
He is hanging on to his “wild side.” He is riding the motorcycle, did not cut his hair and left the earring in.
So we talked amongst the dead until the cemetery closed at 8 pm. He asked if I would go to a restaurant with him and I led him to the Greek place. We drank iced tea, then shared a sampler platter of stuffed grape leaves, hummus, baba ganoush, taramousalata, tomatoes, cucumbers, tsatsiki, tabouleh, feta cheese and olives. He tried the fried eggplant. We shared a flan and the Greek coffee. We stayed there until they closed at 10 pm. I paid for dinner so his visit would not impact his finances. We went out to the street and I told him I still wanted to talk – could we sit in my car? He asked me if he could come back to my place and talk on the sofa? I was surprised and pleased.
So he followed me back and we went up to my roof deck to look at the super moon. I hadn’t been up there in years – the view is amazing! We hugged and joked and I made it clear I wanted to kiss him and he refused. He gave me a lovely back rub as I leaned over the railing. It was so wonderful to be touched.
We returned to my living room. I sat on the sofa and he put his head in my lap. I listened to him and stroked his hair. He asked if he could sleep on the couch overnight. Sure. We talked until 1 am. He fell asleep. I covered him up and he asked me to wake him at 7 am. I went off to bed. What a day!