To: Floridian
Date: Saturday May 11, 2019 at 3:05pm
AM Message

Hiya Josh! Thank you for your fun message! Glad I could give you a laugh. Sorry I can’t entertain you – unfortunately, next weekend is wacky but I wish you all the best and hope you find a lovely lady to tryst with! P.S. Please change your profile sometime to spell discreet the right way… I know what you meant and appreciate it, but it’s one of those classic errors that turns off certain smart women you might want! Hugs with groping! -Sassy

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From: Floridian
Date: May 11th – 3:13pm
AM Message

Thanks, Sass, but that’s actually Ashley’s problem. I just checked the boxes on the profile and what I checked said discreet; what it showed is indiscreet. As an English major, writer, and teacher, I wholeheartedly agree. My intent is to seek confidentiality, not individuality, though that is more than welcome. I looked to find a way to fix it but all for naught — or not. Maybe I’ll just discretely eliminate it. Josh

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Date: May 11th – 3:17pm
From: Sassy

Your Priority Message to Sassy has been successfully opened.

[This is an automated message that AM sends from my account.  It means he paid extra to get confirmation of when I read his message]

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Date: May 11th – 3:31pm
From: Sassy

AM Message

Oh Josh…now you’ve got me giggling. Thanks for brightening my Saturday. Aha! Of course… AM manages to make everything a little more tricky than it needs to be. Thank you for taking care of that! Skip the silly checkboxes and write your own paragraphs? You’ve got it going on, might as well share. Be who you are, say what you want and like-minded women will flock to you. Men who can write are rare. There’s your Sassy advice for today. Careful or I will start nibbling your ear and you know what kind of trouble that can bring! Ha!

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From: Floridian
Date: Friday May 10, 2019 at 3:51pm

AM Message

Your subhead greeting made me guffaw, your narrative enthralled me. Hi, I’m Josh. I’ll be up visiting in your area next week for the weekend. Any interest in an NSA hotel tryst with a fairly intelligent, tall, good-looking, and respectful married Floridian? Drinks first so you get to know me, of course.

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What a fun first message!  He read my profile!  I adore the word guffaw.  And tryst!  Classy!  And he gave me a name to call him.  

Too bad he’s not local.  I just can’t do one-nighters.  And even if I wanted to, this particular weekend is completely booked!  Argh.  So I need to write and thank him and send him away.  But I am curious.  I look at his profile. 

His greeting is something you might have seen in the personals years ago.  Creative or anachronistic… hmmm.  Better than most I see.  

There’s blurry photo of his face… all I can tell is he is smiling and has hair!  Yay!  

He says he’s 67.  Likely means he’s a little older, but that’s okay. 

Location: some city in Florida… eh.  No can do. 

He’s married – that’s perfect. 

Of course he is tall and slim.  *sigh 

He wants something short term?  No.  Sorry. 

There’s nothing scary in the boxes he checked and he didn’t do too many. 

He wrote a long, intriguing paragraph about himself that was humble but bragging in just the right mix.  Nothing too forward to start.  Well done! I long to explore his mind!  

He listed 10 qualities that turn him on – I have 8 of them (no tattoos, no drinking).  Nothing scary. 

He wrote another long paragraph about what attracts him to a woman – all sorts of different physical characteristics he is open to.  I fit some of them.  Heh.  Says he does not drink alcohol!  

There is no feedback which either means he’s just getting started or he opened a new account for his travels.  

I have to write him back and wish him the best of luck.  This makes me sad.