Wright quotes

November 29, 2018 Thursday

9:59 AM Sassy
See #26. : )

The Quotes of Steven Wright:

1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

3 – Half the people you know are below average.

4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 – If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 – All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 – I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ….. But she left me before we met.

12 – OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

13 – How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

14 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

17 – Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 – Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 – I intend to live forever … So far, so good.

20 – If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

22 – What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 – My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

24 – Why do psychics have to ask you for your name

25 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

28 – The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 – To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

32 – The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 – Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.

34 – If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

3:31 PM Sassy
Sister is home from the hospital! So relieved.

6:40 PM Phil
Awesome!

6:54 PM Sassy
Spicy shrimp tempura maki for a sushi supper at Yoshi’s

9:36 PM Sassy

Found treats from Hogsmeade at Rite Aid! A certain niece will see these at Christmas!

10:45 PM Sassy
WOWSERS. Is it the Live Aid concert or “Bohemian Rhapsody?” Here’s the side by side comparison. [Click on it to full screen to get the most effect.] FYI – this was the first day of filming for the movie!




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Sassy Girl

It's the gal you knew in high school that you've wondered about. And she's got something to say! Time to heat up old flames!

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