Mmm…not all soaped up yet, I see. Mouthwatering.

Hiya! Hope you’re having a marvelous Monday! I’m at the eye doctor for my annual exam, waiting for my eyes to dilate. Whee.

I’m using the time to imagine you and me. Words like alone together. Bed. Naked. Nibbling. Mmm… I’m getting ahead of myself, but they are lovely thoughts. Mmm.

More later when my eyes return to normal.

Mwah!

-S

Re: Dilated pupils

Indeed. It is the sign of accepting a mate!

Hiya! Hope you had a good evening. My eyes are finally getting back to normal!

Here’s a summary of the basics I’ve learned about cheating safely. It’s a few years old, but I think it still has a lot of good lessons. If you see things I should add, please let me know. Thanks!

-S

=============

Q. How can I cheat without getting caught? How can I keep my identity a secret?
A. Oooh… this is a tricky.

I am not a techie, I don’t have to worry about my husband finding out, but I do guard info about my real life and protect my man. So much depends on your particular situation, but here are some basics I’ve picked up along the way to get you started. I don’t have room to go into a lot of technical details but these are directions to explore. I hesitate to put too much, as betrayed spouses might use this info  against you, but here are a few tips.

Let’s talk about secrecy. I hear from folks who are reconnecting and taking it to the next level, so they need to hide their adventures from their spouse. I also talk with people who are meeting people from “married but looking” dating sites, and want to protect themselves and their playmates. It is tough to stay under the radar, especially long term. Your computer and your phone are the top dangers, so I’ll start there.

Feel free to add more ideas in the comments!

Technology Tips

a. DELETE, DELETE, DELETE

No matter how you are communicating, once you’ve read it? DELETE IT! Texts? Emails? FB Messages? Voicemails? DELETE! It is tempting to keep them and listen or look at them again. And lord knows, I don’t follow this advice. But if there is any chance your spouse or your kids are going to look at your phone or your computer…. DELETE!

b. Incognito browsing

Google Chrome is the browser of choice for cheaters, because it has this nifty feature called “Incognito Window” under the File tab at the upper left. You can download this browser for free and tuck it into the applications folder (not the dock!) and it won’t track your browsing history.
Definitely use a different browser from the one you use for everything else.

Other folks recommend having obscure browsers like Dolphin or Camino, that aren’t as familiar and can be hidden under bland names in the applications folder on your phone.

If you are not browsing incognito, remember to clear your browsing history! There are apps like CCCleaner that will do it all for you.

c. Email

DO NOT USE YOUR REGULAR EMAIL! Set up a “mischief” account on another service. If you use Gmail, pop over to Yahoo to play. Though you may want to use Gmail if you can, because they don’t let on where email comes from – everything looks like it comes from Mountain View CA which can be handy if your spouse or lover is the computer savvy stalker type who is trying to track you down.

d. Delete IMs/Chats and turn off history

Be careful using Yahoo IM or Google Hang-outs. They log all conversations by default, right under the incoming mail. Turn off this feature or delete them! Your best bet is GChat or Hang-outs. It can easily be set up to be “off the record.” If you’re using FB chat, they end up in the messages folder – delete them!

e. Free calls/texts

There are a lot of apps that let you call or text for free, and it won’t show up on your bills or your phone. And you can tailor what appears when you get calls or texts, so your phone doesn’t announce calls on the screen from someone your spouse has never heard of. People recommend Google Voice or pinger.com.  Skype is easy but recognizable.  Kik is another possibility. 

f. Your own phone number

Many of the free call/text services also allow you to get your own phone number. This keeps calls off your bills and you don’t have to give your real number out! You can even type in letters and see if that number is available, so you can have a great mnemonic like XXX-6-SassyG… (don’t try to dial that).  I use Google Voice now but have tried several other services. 

If you’re meeting strangers online, it’s up to you whether your lover knows your real name or not. I try to stay incognito as long as possible.

If this is a reconnection or you do know your lover’s info, DO NOT put your lover’s real name and contact info in your contacts list. If you get busted, it’s awful. If your angry spouse can call or text your lover and use their real name when they spew invectives? ARRRGH! It’s also good to change the name regularly, so if there is a string of texts you forget to delete, there aren’t months of contact to be traced. Some pals recommend weekly change or monthly change, but set up a schedule, perhaps linked to something else in your life, so you remember. And use something ordinary where googling will get them 250,000 links and no real info.

h. Shared accounts 

Non-technology Tips

There are non-technology things to avoid as well.

– Use cash

Talk with them about when it is good or bad to be in contact.

– Start slow – set up a code

If the spouse is suspicious, you may want to set up a code, so you don’t burst right in with super sexy stuff. A bland greeting to a phone call or an initial text of “hi” can save you if the spouse is picking up the phone or IM.

If at all possible, do not cheat with someone local. Or go to local businesses with a long-distance lover. If you have to, go at off-hours or very busy times, sit in a booth or the corner away from the rest rooms, and look around for danger spots.

– Don’t hug outside

If you’re meeting, go inside the hotel or restaurant before connecting. Don’t make it easy on a following spouse or private investigator or your nosy neighbor by doing the long kiss and hug hello or good bye at your car!

– Stick to your routine

Be very careful if you vary your routine. Sudden changes that will tip off your spouse.

– New personal hygiene

– Marks/Bruises/Scratches

If you like to leave marks or play rough, be very careful leaving evidence on your lover. It can be tough to explain! Even if they aren’t sleeping with their partner, it can be easy to pop in to ask a question while you’re changing your shirt and oops!

– Computer/Phone set up

Re-arrange your home office so that your spouse can not see your computer screen without you knowing. Put your back to wall so they have to come around in your face to see the screen. Don’t leave your phone out while you’re in the shower etc.

– Ready excuses

Think of excuses a head of time. If you run into someone you know when you’re out with your secret someone, have something ready to go so you don’t flounder for who this person with you is. If someone reports seeing you somewhere, have a reason ready as to why you were there. You can usually get away with it once. Be more careful and lie low for awhile after that.

and the bottom line… if you do get busted?

DENY DENY DENY!

Unless there are naked photos of you together (DO NOT TAKE THOSE!), explain your way out of it. Lie low for about 3 weeks. And be more careful! There are a bunch of things never to say if you get caught but that is topic for another message.

Have any more ideas? Tell me!

Best of luck!

– Sassy

Good morning! Hope you’re enjoying this sunny Sunday!

I must say, for someone who doesn’t have time to reply on a weekend, last night was an unexpected delight! Thank you sweet man.

Have a wonderful day and don’t think about my chest… too much. 😉

-S

From: Reggie

Hi there. Was out for a bike ride with the kid and it was fun. Hope you are enjoying the lovely day.

take care!

Have a lovely evening. Hope you feel some tingles thinking of my mouth.

-S

I cook on the rare occasion. I feel no interest in feeding myself and sometimes like to cook for others. I can follow a recipe religiously and it is calming. But I do it all too rarely.

Playing tennis late in the evening. May think of you in the shower again, afterwards..mmmmm

Lovely! 

Hiya Reggie,

Hope you’re having a wicked good Wednesday! I’m taking a break for lunch and thought I’d spend it writing to you.

Let’s see – where were we? Ah yes… I was raised in upstate NY, came to MA for college and stayed.

I am married, going on 20+ years. We are open. He does his thing and I do mine. We are great friends, just nothing in the bedroom. So you don’t have to worry about an angry husband.

What’s your situation? Do you need stealth on your end? I do know a lot about how to cover your tracks, from dating an old flame in the military, if you need any tips.

Three more questions:

1) Where’s the most beautiful place in the world?

2) How did you hear about AM?

3) What music do you like?

Hugs with groping!

-Sassy

Can you answer these three yourself?

-R

From: Sassy

Hiya Reggie! This is so fun! Thank you for indulging my curiosity. I am learning lovely things.

We can talk more about stealth – being a techy, you are probably up on a lot but there are some other things to think about. I’ll look for a great article I found with good advice.

Here are my answers:

1) Beauty

I looked up images of Port Antonio in Jamaica – stunning! It reminds me of Trunk Cove on St John USVI with the blue of the water and the green of the trees and white sands.

I also adore the red rocks in Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. Or the Food Hall at Harrod’s in London for a more urban delight!

2) AM

The short answer is I read a sexy blog online where the guy was on AM.

The real answer of my discovery of AM is a bit convoluted. Ready for a story?

My husband stopped wanting me a long time ago. I had given up on that part of my life.

An old flame from high school (we dated for weeks when I was 14 and he was 16, which amounted to holding hands at lunch and kissing under the stairs at church) found me after 37 years. He remembered an explosive chemistry and wanted to know if it might still exist. I remembered his name and that he dumped me. Heh. We were both married, non-cheaters, he was military and miles away and I could not imagine him wanting to touch a curvy old lady. He convinced me it was worth dinner so I flew to D.C. and… it was the hottest 2 days of my life. He resurrected me sexually, taught me that a fit powerful man can want a curvy woman, and that she can participate and deserves to get pleasure out of it!

I got cancer. The old flame talked me into catching up on medical tests I’d delayed, saved my breast and maybe my life. They caught it early, but I had a bizarre 10 months of too many doctors visits! I was able to work most of the time while they cut, stabbed, poisoned and irradiated me! I came out it with a firm desire to live life to the fullest. I am healthy and whole and doing that!

While my body was healing, I caught up online with sexy stuff. I was woefully ignorant, so I went looking for resources online to teach myself and share with the old flame to um.. enhance our online discussions. 🙂 I found tumblr and sexy blogs and porn videos. I wrote erotica. Whee!

a. A friend sent me to look at sex-positive photo blog where people of all sizes and shapes and orientations were smiling and having fun and being sexy.

b. someone there recommended a list of the 100 Sexiest blogs.

c. I found a blog by a guy in CA named Riff Dawg, who was an AM devotee and wrote with two goals – to help men game the system, and to share his exploits. I read 250 posts over 4 days of a Thanksgiving weekend!

d. He ran a forum for people to help each other so I read everyone’s exploits and questions.

e. The forum linked to an IRC chat room for “cheaters” most of whom were on AM and talked in real time. I couldn’t imagine fitting in with “those people” but I did. They are regular folks, trying to make the best of their situation. I hung out, learning the good, bad and fun that can come from using AM.

About the time I got done with treatments, my old flame suggested I find a local man and the folks on IRC suggested I try AM. I bet them that no man would be interested in me. I was wrong. 😉

3) Music

I too listen to a wide range of tunes. I knew almost everyone you mentioned!

Sirius radio came free with a new car awhile back and I didn’t think we’d use it, but it is a wonderful way to hear lots of different music. I put on the 50s, 60s. 70s, or 80s. I like songs I can sing along with – a cappella, Broadway show tunes, or folk artists like James Taylor, John Denver, Christine Lavin or David Wilcox. I also adore piano-based classical music. I used to be a huge figure skating fan and got to know a lot of classical music through their routines.

I better stop before this gets to novel length. Heh.

Here’s three more questions if you feel up to it:

1) Say something about your job? Are you in an office mostly or out and about?

2) How did you meet your wife?

3) Do you have children? Pets?

Hugs with groping and a naughty suggestion for more whispered in your ear.

-S

From: Sassy

Hiya! Your messages are such a treat! I’ll write while I munch on Chinese food.

Sorry you have emotional effects from philandering. I’ve never had any guilt. I thought I would, as I am a “goody two-shoes” in other parts of my life, but the sassy part of me takes over and I can go along without anguish. The “demure lady” gives me flack about taking certain risks and rolls her eyes at my crazier adventures, but I mostly don’t let that slow me down.

How did you get caught? I am eager to hear details so I can help others avoid whatever tripped you up. If you want to wait to discuss in person, that’s fine too. Several men have explained the lure of “fresh pussy” so your reasons for continuing sound familiar.

1) Work
I’ve heard of your company. 🙂 You’ve likely heard of my employer also. I can say more in person. I am the efficient office manager who takes care of the mundane administrative stuff so the senior staff can do their work – payroll, hiring, catering, scheduling, travel, finance. The one in the back office that no one notices. I like my work and most of the people, but I have “the boss from hell” so I hope to retire this time next year.

2) Husband 
Met my husband on the internet in the early days of Usenet. He moved here from the Midwest to be with me. He wrote erotica and I thought it was written by a woman. I wrote “her” a fan letter and after chatting for 3 days noticed it was a guy. Wow.

3) Children
How wonderful you have a kid!  I am owned by two old cats! They are brothers – we rescued them from a friend of a friend who was suddenly allergic.

I don’t have children. I dote on my young niece who is athletic and brilliant and sweet and going on 40.

4) Turn ons
Do you mean physical attributes or particular activities?

Three more?
1) What is your email moniker based on?

2) What is your favorite part of a woman’s body?

3) Name some favorite movies?

Thanks again for letting me poke around in your head.

-S

=====

Sassy delight!

First you tell me that you are not a fit for me and keep shying away. And then you delight me with your messages, not to speak of your provocative hugs! 

* Turn ons – you can interpret the question as broadly as you want to

Your three:

1. Email name – sort of based on an old book – Only loosely on On IRC, I sometimes used to have the nick from the same book.  We can talk more about that when we meet.

2. Woman’s body – eyes, lips, fingers, toes, breasts, pussy – not sure in what order 🙂

3. Hmmm..tough question because I don’t watch that many movies and even fewer mainstream movies. Quite a few Woody Allen movies – Annie Hall, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Hannah and her sisters and even the more recent Midnight in Paris. Miyazaki animation stuff, Kurosawa, Coen Brothers…

I like the flirty dialog that you have introduced through these three questions. Mine:

1. (4 from the last one in the prior email)

2. What are your political views?

3. What is the craziest place you have had sex in?

Have a good night, gropy one!

Just as I was finishing my last meeting of the day yesterday,
gathering my papers off the marble table in the conference
room on the 36th floor, the sound of sirens wafted up from
the expressway below. Everyone else had left the room, so
I took a minute to lean over the marble counter and stare
down at the roadway. There was a horrible wreck of mangled
metal and shattered glass, several cars and a tractor trailer
twisted together. The traffic was stopped behind the mess,
and the cars on the other side barely moved, rubbernecking.

Suddenly, I heard the door close. I straightened up, but before I
could turn, I felt your arm around my waist, and felt the heat of you
on my back through my dress. You were already hard, pressed
tightly against my ass. I started to speak, but you put a finger
on my lips and teased a corner. I licked your thumb, and you moved
your hand down to unbutton my dress. Just enough to slip
your hand inside and tease a hard nipple. I moaned and let my head
fall back against your shoulder. You bit my neck and ran your
tongue across my skin.

You slipped your hand under my skirt and inside my underwear,
teasing my most sensitive spot. You pressed a finger inside,
unsurprised at the moisture gathered there. I was startled
as you lowered my underwear. I felt like my knees would
buckle, but you tightened your grip and spread my legs to
balance me against the counter. I panicked when I heard
the rasping sound of your zipper, but before I could form the
words in my mind to stop you, I felt you hot and hard against
my skin, and a low moan was all that escaped my lips. You
shoved it inside me, and your breathing grew ragged as you
watched yourself slide in and out. You kneaded the flesh of
my hips as you moved, then reached around me to rub the top
of my slit in time with your strokes. I was trying to be
quiet, but could not hold in all the gasps of pleasure as
you thrust deeper and deeper inside me, your balls slapping
against me. You felt the trembling start inside me, and
the clenching around you. You felt the pulsing, the searing
heat and suddenly lost control, pounding me into the wood
and stone, spurting up inside me over and over.

The only sound was our uneven breathing and the whirring
air conditioning. You pressed your cheek to my back and
whispered, “What a view…”

=====

Works swimmingly. Your sassyness grows on me with every passing day.

Woohoo! Happy to see you over here.

Here’s a couple of face photos! I am rocking life on a boat at Lake Winnipesaukee on the hottest day of the year, and enjoying a quiet moment at home.