How to cheat and stay under the radar

June 11, 2018 Monday

From: Reggie
To: Sassy
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 9:50 AM
Re: Shower sass

Mmm…not all soaped up yet, I see. Mouthwatering.


From: Reggie
To: Sassy
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 1:49 PM

Re: The Storm

I had to read this in a rush over the weekend. I just read it again now. The energy and rhythm of two bodies entwined with each other just dances out of your words. I have been hesitant but very curious about a finger up my ass. In your story, the timing of that is lovely. I like the way she knows what to do and is so in control.


From: Sassy

To: Reggie
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 2:43 PM
Subject: Monday marvels

Hiya! Hope you’re having a marvelous Monday! I’m at the eye doctor for my annual exam, waiting for my eyes to dilate. Whee.

I’m using the time to imagine you and me. Words like alone together. Bed. Naked. Nibbling. Mmm… I’m getting ahead of myself, but they are lovely thoughts. Mmm.

More later when my eyes return to normal.



Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android


From: Reggie
To: Sassy
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 2:47 PM

Re: Monday marvels

Hi Sassy

Some other words – touch, smell, caress, lick.. Yes, evocative words.

Hope your eye exam goes well. Write more soon

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android


From: Sassy

To: Reggie
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 3:08 PM

Subject: Dilated pupils

So…dilated pupils are supposed to be a sign o sexual arousal right?

[photo of my face focused on my eyes with huge dilated pupils]
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android


From: Sassy

To: Reggie
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 4:17 PM

Re: Monday marvels

Home. mostly blind…bleh

Imagining touching. Wondering if you will touch…let me touch? mmm. Time will tell!

More when I can see!


Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android


From: Reggie
To: Sassy
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 4:43 PM

Re: Dilated pupils

Indeed. It is the sign of accepting a mate!


From: Sassy

To: Reggie
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 4:49 PM

Re: Dilated pupils

Ha ha…really? Hmmm…

I’m going to nap. Hope I can see when I wake up. Mwah!

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android


From: Sassy

To: Reggie
Sent: Mon Jun 11, 2018 at 11:28 PM
Subject: How to stay under the radar

Hiya! Hope you had a good evening. My eyes are finally getting back to normal!

Here’s a summary of the basics I’ve learned about cheating safely. It’s a few years old, but I think it still has a lot of good lessons. If you see things I should add, please let me know. Thanks!



Q. How can I cheat without getting caught? How can I keep my identity a secret?
A. Oooh… this is a tricky.

I am not a techie, I don’t have to worry about my husband finding out, but I do guard info about my real life and protect my man. So much depends on your particular situation, but here are some basics I’ve picked up along the way to get you started. I don’t have room to go into a lot of technical details but these are directions to explore. I hesitate to put too much, as betrayed spouses might use this info  against you, but here are a few tips.

Let’s talk about secrecy. I hear from folks who are reconnecting and taking it to the next level, so they need to hide their adventures from their spouse. I also talk with people who are meeting people from “married but looking” dating sites, and want to protect themselves and their playmates. It is tough to stay under the radar, especially long term. Your computer and your phone are the top dangers, so I’ll start there.

Feel free to add more ideas in the comments!

Technology Tips


No matter how you are communicating, once you’ve read it? DELETE IT! Texts? Emails? FB Messages? Voicemails? DELETE! It is tempting to keep them and listen or look at them again. And lord knows, I don’t follow this advice. But if there is any chance your spouse or your kids are going to look at your phone or your computer…. DELETE!

b. Incognito browsing

Google Chrome is the browser of choice for cheaters, because it has this nifty feature called “Incognito Window” under the File tab at the upper left. You can download this browser for free and tuck it into the applications folder (not the dock!) and it won’t track your browsing history.
Definitely use a different browser from the one you use for everything else.

Other folks recommend having obscure browsers like Dolphin or Camino, that aren’t as familiar and can be hidden under bland names in the applications folder on your phone.

If you are not browsing incognito, remember to clear your browsing history! There are apps like CCCleaner that will do it all for you.

c. Email

DO NOT USE YOUR REGULAR EMAIL! Set up a “mischief” account on another service. If you use Gmail, pop over to Yahoo to play. Though you may want to use Gmail if you can, because they don’t let on where email comes from – everything looks like it comes from Mountain View CA which can be handy if your spouse or lover is the computer savvy stalker type who is trying to track you down.

The infamous military case where the general was communicating with his paramour, they set up an email account and never sent messages, just put them in the draft folder and each logged in to read them there then delete them and clear out the trash!   I thought that was ingenious.

d. Delete IMs/Chats and turn off history

Be careful using Yahoo IM or Google Hang-outs. They log all conversations by default, right under the incoming mail. Turn off this feature or delete them! Your best bet is GChat or Hang-outs. It can easily be set up to be “off the record.” If you’re using FB chat, they end up in the messages folder – delete them!

e. Free calls/texts

There are a lot of apps that let you call or text for free, and it won’t show up on your bills or your phone. And you can tailor what appears when you get calls or texts, so your phone doesn’t announce calls on the screen from someone your spouse has never heard of. People recommend Google Voice or  Skype is easy but recognizable.  Kik is another possibility. 

Some people avoid all this by buying a “mischief” phone. Then you need to hide that…

f. Your own phone number

Many of the free call/text services also allow you to get your own phone number. This keeps calls off your bills and you don’t have to give your real number out! You can even type in letters and see if that number is available, so you can have a great mnemonic like XXX-6-SassyG… (don’t try to dial that).  I use Google Voice now but have tried several other services. 

g. Use pseudonyms

If you’re meeting strangers online, it’s up to you whether your lover knows your real name or not. I try to stay incognito as long as possible.

If this is a reconnection or you do know your lover’s info, DO NOT put your lover’s real name and contact info in your contacts list. If you get busted, it’s awful. If your angry spouse can call or text your lover and use their real name when they spew invectives? ARRRGH! It’s also good to change the name regularly, so if there is a string of texts you forget to delete, there aren’t months of contact to be traced. Some pals recommend weekly change or monthly change, but set up a schedule, perhaps linked to something else in your life, so you remember. And use something ordinary where googling will get them 250,000 links and no real info.

h. Shared accounts 

Be extra-super careful if you share a phone plan with your family. They can get access to your call logs and texts. Or if you sync your Apple accounts so they can see your photos or browsing.

Non-technology Tips

There are non-technology things to avoid as well.

– Use cash

– Know your lover’s schedule

Talk with them about when it is good or bad to be in contact.

– Start slow – set up a code

If the spouse is suspicious, you may want to set up a code, so you don’t burst right in with super sexy stuff. A bland greeting to a phone call or an initial text of “hi” can save you if the spouse is picking up the phone or IM.

– Don’t fish in your own pond

If at all possible, do not cheat with someone local. Or go to local businesses with a long-distance lover. If you have to, go at off-hours or very busy times, sit in a booth or the corner away from the rest rooms, and look around for danger spots.

– Don’t hug outside

If you’re meeting, go inside the hotel or restaurant before connecting. Don’t make it easy on a following spouse or private investigator or your nosy neighbor by doing the long kiss and hug hello or good bye at your car!

– Stick to your routine

Be very careful if you vary your routine. Sudden changes that will tip off your spouse.

– New personal hygiene

Are you suddenly wearing make-up or trimming your pubic hair or doing other personal appearance improvements? These alone may not tip them off but if there are other signs… trouble!

– Marks/Bruises/Scratches

If you like to leave marks or play rough, be very careful leaving evidence on your lover. It can be tough to explain! Even if they aren’t sleeping with their partner, it can be easy to pop in to ask a question while you’re changing your shirt and oops!

– Computer/Phone set up

Re-arrange your home office so that your spouse can not see your computer screen without you knowing. Put your back to wall so they have to come around in your face to see the screen. Don’t leave your phone out while you’re in the shower etc.

– Ready excuses

Think of excuses a head of time. If you run into someone you know when you’re out with your secret someone, have something ready to go so you don’t flounder for who this person with you is. If someone reports seeing you somewhere, have a reason ready as to why you were there. You can usually get away with it once. Be more careful and lie low for awhile after that.

and the bottom line… if you do get busted?


Unless there are naked photos of you together (DO NOT TAKE THOSE!), explain your way out of it. Lie low for about 3 weeks. And be more careful! There are a bunch of things never to say if you get caught but that is topic for another message.

Have any more ideas? Tell me!

Best of luck!

– Sassy

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Sassy Girl

It's the gal you knew in high school that you've wondered about. And she's got something to say! Time to heat up old flames!

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