Category Archives: Message

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I Want A New Drug

Wednesday wonders
Between Phil and You
September 22 at 4:55am
Good morning! I… am awake. A little bit. And thinking of you. A lot.
Phil September 22 at 5:19am
Good morning!

September 22 at 12:21pm
Good afternoon! Hope it’s a great one at the beach.
It is wicked quiet here at the office. Just me and one quiet assistant. I am staring off into space, sighing and worrying my lip with my teeth. You know why. πŸ™‚
September 22 at 9:21pm

“I Wanna New Drug”


I want a new drug
One that won’t make me sick
One that won’ make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick
I want a new drug
One that won’t hurt my head
One that won’t make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that won’t make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I want a new drug
One that won’t spill
One that don’t cost too much
Or come in a pill
I want a new drug
One that won’t go away
One that won’t keep me up all night
One that won’t make me sleep all day
One that won’t make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I’m alone with you baby
I want a new drug
One that does what it should
One that won’t make me feel too bad
One that won’t make me feel too good
I want a new drug
One with no doubt
One that won’t make me talk too much
Or make my face break out
One that won’t make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
[Phil posted a photo on his Facebook wall of him sitting in the sun drinking sangria]

September 22 at 9:42pm
Finish up that sangria, come over here and kiss me. Please? πŸ˜‰
Phil September 22 at 9:43pm
Sounds like u had a great day! Too much Sangria, off to bed.

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Happy Ass Day

Phil September 20 at 5:04am
Good morning! Crystal clear, stars are amazing. Basking in a win. Looking forward to a relaxing day. Have a good one.

September 20 at 5:16am
Good morning to you! Still dark here…quiet…stars.. I’m trying to hold back the coming of the dreaded Monday morning.
September 20 at 5:20am
Oh, Philip… so sorry I wasn’t around last night to fill your needs. Both that I missed a chance to send you a sexy message when you needed it, and that I can’t be there physically. Life is strange. And wonderful.
September 20 at 5:36am
Cat is purring in my ear… silly old puss. Thinks it will get me to feed him. Wish I could purr in your ear. Stick my fingers in your hair.. then whisper soft and low about what’s going to happen next.
September 20 at 5:41am
What should today be? Let’s declare it… hmmm… ASS DAY! What should we do to celebrate? Your ass or mine? Are you in the mood for intimate kisses on your back side? Maybe a tongue in just the right spot? Of course, I’d have to explore, see what other spots cause your back to arch and your cock to soar. Hee!
Phil September 20 at 9:21am
If it’s ass day both. I could give you a massage working your shoulders and back, working on tired muscles. Then switch to kisses and licks running my tongue down your back, between your cheeks, probing gliding over your ass into your pussy as your hips lift to give me access. You are already wet, back up to your ass, licking blowing, probing, your hips again rising to meet my tongue. My cock is so hard and you can feel it brush your legs. I am very much enjoying paying attention to your ass. I continue to kiss and lick down your legs, to your feet, back up, kissing your inner thighs, back to your pussy, plunging my tongue deep inside of you, fucking you with my tongue. Back to your ass licking, probing and now fucking your ass with my tongue, my cock is so hard, I want to bury it deep inside of you but you say nope, I have something else for you. Now my turn for the massage, feels wonderful on my back and shoulders. I feel your tongue start to trail down my back, I am shivering with anticipation and excitement. As your tongue gets to the top of my ass my hips are rising off the bed. You stop, massage my ass, your fingers sliding between my cheeks, gently touching, teasing, oh this is so hot but this is your part of the story
Phil September 20 at 9:59am
thinking about fingers, toys, tongues, hands gliding over my cock and balls. Geez
September 20 at 10:29am
Busy day! All I can think of right now is grabbing your ass with both hands while you fuck me silly. More later!
Phil September 20 at 11:15am
Oh yea, you control the pace, pull that cock in as hard and fast as you want it.

September 20 at 12:00pm
I sometimes look at my messages and wonder who typed them. Who is that wild woman? And then I get another hot message from you, and my body starts to churn and drip and I remember… I am the one that you want. It is makes me wild… but only for you.
I am trying to do the payroll. The most tedious, mathy, detail-oriented part of my job. And very important to those who wait for their money. And I can’t focus! It has taken me twice as long today. But I will get it done. The deadline is still hours away.
September 20 at 12:10pm
Isn’t ass day fun? I love how you are getting into the spirit of it. Maybe you can pick for tomorrow.
All I can focus on is your sexy ass. And what I can do to it. I want to take it slow… touch you… learn every pore… tease you… torment you… with my fingers running gently down the crack and around at the top of your legs… then let my mouth take the same route… breathing on your skin… kissing, nipping, licking… rubbing my breasts against you.. I wonder what would happen if I dipped a finger inside me and then painted a bit of my juices on your ass.. might make you as wild as I am…
Phil September 20 at 12:30pm
Dip that finger in your pussy and then use your own lubrication to slip that finger in my ass. Putting a little of you inside me

September 20 at 12:52pm
Wow… Philip! that took my breath away. I am sitting here wondering if half a sentence can cause in orgasm in less than 5 seconds… I mean it. it explains what is happening. clenching, flushed… trying to mask my reaction in a busy office, had to cover my face!
I’ve never heard of that before. Where did that come from? I am hoping no one has done that for you. I want it to be me! The image is… incredible. Very vivid. symbolic. me inside you. wow. so simple yet… intense. that one is going to torture me for awhile. Wow. WILD!
Phil September 20 at 1:56pm
No one has ever done that. Is a sexy thought.

September 20 at 2:27pm

Wow. I love how you think. Stunning. Definitely going toward the top of my list of things to do for us. I wish I could it RIGHT NOW! Heh.
You may have to explain more about exactly how to do that, once inside, for maximum effect. Or I can experiment… trying to think of what I would say while I do that. Hmmm…
How can I see your face when I do that? I wonder if your knees would hold out if we were standing in front of a mirror… or maybe you can figure out another way. On the other hand, I might break into a million pieces from the raw emotion of it. OOmptth.
September 20 at 2:34pm
Not sure what it is about being first, but it makes it very powerful. Very.  Please don’t tell anyone else about this idea before I get my hands on you! πŸ˜‰
I am looking forward to learning what other bright ideas you’ve got stashed in that brain of yours. Let em out, Philip…
September 20 at 2:35pm
Ass day. Very Happy Ass Day!
September 20 at 3:15pm
Thanks for the photo! Looks like you’re on an adventure. Can’t see much of it… wretched old phone. But I recognize you in the sunshine.
September 20 at 4:56pm
Heading home at last! Going to re-read everything you said today, and swoon at the thought of making your ass mine.
September 20 at 7:40pm
had Thai for dinner with H.: hole-in-wall place. their tom kar guy (coconut chicken soup) is divine.
I was probably too quiet, thinking about you… and your ass. Swirling my finger around in circles on your cheeks, closer and closer to that magic spot that will shoot fire into every other nerve in your body… mmm. want. want. want…
September 20 at 8:29pm
we are face-to-face… on our sides, on the bed, with your leg over my hip, your heel pressing my ass. cuddling… kissing. very close together. revving up slowly. I get that mischievous look in my eyes, wiggle my eyebrows, and press my finger inside me. I let you smell it and your eyes widen. I reach around and press it inside your ass… twirl slowly… in further, and watch you face contort… and your hips buck. where is my other hand? on your chest… or your face… or gently stroking your cock… I stick my tongue in your mouth to mimic the action of my finger. But you are breathing so heavy, I can’t do that for long. In, out with the finger in your ass; in out with the tongue in your mouth.
September 20 at 9:29pm
Or maybe when you have your cock deep inside me… I wait until you are just about to the edge, and that’s when I get my finger inside you…part of me, inside you… make you explode with it. With a fire so deep it sears your very soul.
But we can try it both ways, yes? πŸ™‚
(stay tuned for what I might say… haven’t worked that out yet)
Ass day… a cum-from-behind WIN!
Phil September 20 at 9:58pm
Both is good. Like the thought of your finger matching the pace of my cock. I think I would explode.

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Sunday sucking

Sunday smiles
Between Phil and You

Phil September 19 at 5:45am
Good morning! A nice crisp clear morning. My brother is en route, talked to him a bit ago. It’s football day! Have a great day.

September 19 at 6:32am
Good morning! Seagulls are going crazy this morning.. swooping, soaring, cawing like banshees. Wonder what’s up? Otherwise, very quiet. No cars or trucks. It’s almost cold – 50’s right now. Wishing you were here to warm me up.
September 19 at 6:54am
Happy Football Day! I can tell it’s football day… front page of Boston.com is packed with articles about the Patriots! Yikes.
September 19 at 7:58am
I did a new analysis on my list. Yesterday, it was the sex list. Today, I am trying to decide who I loved. Can’t believe I’ve never thought about it that way. Thank you for making me think about love.
Of course, this wades into much deeper water. What is love? Oof… can’t answer that in one shot at 7 am on a Sunday. But I know it when I feel it.
I made an Excel spreadsheet of the 6 kissers and 11 lovers. Don’t laugh! It’s what I do when I need to analyze something – apply “business woman” skills. I can figure this out. I think.
So… I marked certain guys in yellow. Happy color. You are definitely in yellow, the first yellow name on the list. It’s easy to mark the other “big three” in yellow. So that makes 4. Long term. Deep. I told the three. Took me awhile, but I told them.
Makes me wonder again if I ever told you. Probably not, if you don’t remember. And because we stayed friends. Most boys didn’t want friends who had said they loved them. But you knew then, you said.
Oh, man… I wish I could have been looking in your eyes while we talked about this stuff. And holding your hand. And kissing you.
September 19 at 8:17am
Still musing about love and my life… and how you fit into it all.
A deeper question occurs to me – Is there anyone who should be added to the list because I loved them, even if we never kissed or had sex?  There was one guy, worked with him for years and adored him, but never did anything.  He died.  πŸ™  So I put him on the list. In Yellow.  So that makes 5 loves.  So exactly the same number as you!  Weird… 
I marvel at how you make me look at my life in new ways. And get me to tell you about it. That’s unique. And special.
I feel closer to you. Like we are crossing another milestone.
September 19 at 9:15am
So Sunday…let’s see what I’m doing today.
Quiet morning thinking about love and life. Talking like a pirate. Makes me think of seamen. Or semen. Heh. Interesting that those are homonyms. Hmmm….
I get to babysit my niece then maybe dinner after with friends? We’ll see.
What do I want to be doing? In reality, writing to you. Reading your messages. In fantasy…oooh… excuse me.
September 19 at 12:36pm
Hey, how’s my favorite football fan? Has the pre-game show started yet? What on the menu?
I was bopping around youtube and saw an old Emerson, Lake and Palmer song. never heard it before. The lyrics are kinda trippy. But I like the title.
Still You Turn Me On by Greg Lake
September 19 at 1:57pm
Made it to my sister’s place. Turns out I get to sit on the computer while niece sleeps. Rough duty. πŸ™‚
Phil September 19 at 2:36pm
Was listening to KD Lang sing Hallelujah. So pretty, I love her voice. Tommy arrived, they are at the beach. I am home watching football. Nice breeze on the porch today. Making ribs for supper tonight. Ribs, fresh fruit, veggies, and wine. Good stuff. Church was awesome this morning. Sermon was terrific.

September 19 at 2:51pm
Hiya! ah…KD Lang is so earnest. Her “Constant Craving” is more on my mind today.

September 19 at 2:53pm

Just sat out on a screened-in porch. Gorgeous day out there… Reading the TV Guide Fall Preview. Not much interests me at first glance. Will try “Hawaii 5-0” and “Law&Order:LA”. Let me know if you see anything else good.
Phil September 19 at 3:13pm 
Tom Selleck has a new one on Friday nights. NCIS, Mentalist, Criminal Minds all good. I like Constant Craving too. Was just thinking about watching football while someone was on the floor in front of me giving me a blow job. Slow and easy to the brink, back off to the bring again, getting damn hard to watch the game. Much more interested in watching my cock disappear in your mouth. Careful baby, gonna cum. You take me in your hand and jerk me off onto your tits. You offer them to me and I lick the hot cum from them. Ummmm
September 19 at 4:05pm
I am trying to concentrate on something other than you. Get control. Do things away from the computer. Read “TV Guide” for the first time in a month. Called my mom to check on her and my dad. She told me about her church today. They sang “There is a Balm in Gilead.” Good hymn. The minister said that Jesus is the Balm. He soothes and heals.
All my brain can do is think of you… and that makes things happen inside me lower down. There’s a futon in my sister’s work room. If you were here, I would talk you into sitting on that futon with me. tell you about what I want. Put your mouth on me, Philip. Make your way inside me with your tongue… lick me. torment me… make me squirm and twist. Make me ready for more.
September 19 at 4:05pm
Go Patriots! πŸ˜‰
Phil September 19 at 4:07pm
You suck πŸ™‚
September 19 at 4:09pm
I adore Tom Selleck. Have since Magnum, PI days. They were re-running that lately on some random channel. Still good. And his new movies – Jesse Stone – are fabulous. Parts filmed in Boston!  Gotta love those tall, dark and handsome guys. πŸ™‚
September 19 at 4:11pm
I do suck.  And lick. And kiss. AND FUCK! Or… I hope to if you are around.
Phil September 19 at 4:26pm
Damn. Fuck me Sassy. Ride my cock till we both explode!
September 19 at 4:37pm
You’re fantasizing about sexy stuff when there is football to watch? Wow… I do feel wanted. I may have to write that down and frame it. “Sassy is so sexy she can distract Philip from a football game.” Heh.
Are you alone?
I am shocked that you would even consider letting someone perform oral sex on you while you watching football! I would not have tried it uninvited. Maybe during a bad commercial… I can see that. How long are the commercial breaks? I wonder if I could make something happen in what..2 minutes? Would be a challenge. But sometimes fast can be HOT. Let’s see… hands, tongue, tits… I’ve got all the right equipment. You might miss the post-game analysis when I drag you off to bed.
September 19 at 4:59pm
TD! Woot! hee…
Phil September 19 at 5:09pm
Touchdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 19 at 5:20pm
Tequila time? This is getting interesting. Niece is awake. Gotta go be an Aunt.
Phil September 19 at 6:31pm
What a game!
Phil September 19 at 6:59pm
Wooooooooooooooooooooioioiooooooooo!
September 19 at 7:54pm
Hee! It is so fun to watch you experience the thrill of victory.
September 19 at 7:56pm
Home now. Eleven of us went out for Mexican food at the local tequila bar- Rudy’s. Nothing like chips, salsa, pina colada… only thing better would be licking them off your body parts. πŸ˜‰
September 19 at 9:35pm
G’night sweet man. I am smiling, thinking of football fun with you today.
Going to bed. Alone. But less alone than I’ve been, as I have all your sexy, sweet words to take with me. Will stay awake for awhile thinking about you. Mmm…
Phil September 19 at 9:52pm
Sounds like great fun. I like tequilarias
Would love to have you lick anything off my body.

Phil September 19 at 9:54pm
Sipping scotch on the porch. Was just on the beach. Spectacular nite.

Phil September 19 at 9:56pm
Only thing missing is a hot mouth, soft tits, hot tight pussy, pretty ass, soft hands

Phil September 19 at 10:26pm
Sitting on the deck, naked, slowly stroking my hard cock. Wish I had someone to take care of it

Phil September 19 at 10:27pm
Need a soft mouth
Phil September 20 at 10:32am
Now sitting in the tub, hard, horny, need relief.

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P.S. (a poem)

September 18 at 4:47pm
A brief poem for you. I don’t understand it, but I know what he means.
=======
β€˜P.S.’
by Franz Wright
(Pulitzer Prize winning American poet)
I close my eyes and see
a seagull in the desert
high, against unbearably blue sky.
There is hope in the past.
I’m writing to you
all the time, I am writing
with both hands,
day and night.
=========

September 18 at 4:54pm
I see you in a chaise by the pool. Maybe I can convince you to go for a swim with me. Get me completely wet. Maybe lose my top…and the bottom.
September 18 at 5:09pm
Or I could roll you over… put some lotion on your back… massage your back until you are nearly asleep, then loose my fingers in your ass… and make my way to your balls… gently, gently… squeezing. put my mouth on you, too. Lick around your waist… your ass… here… or there, slowly up to your shoulders. Bite just a little. Scratch a little. Not let you kiss me or touch me. Just have my way with your other side.
September 18 at 5:22pm
Always glad to help. Hope that… helped.
September 18 at 10:11pm
Hiya! Hope you’re having a great evening. I keep wishing you’ll call me. But I know that is tough. I don’t expect it.
September 18 at 10:15pm
I spent about 4 hours writing tonight. My main goal is to make you more comfortable about gap in our experience level. So I was getting my facts straight about my past.
I wrote up my entire romantic history. My plan was to include the guys who “count” – which I define as “penetrated.” But that left you out, which isn’t right, since you are such a crucial part of the early history of my heart. So I started with my first crush at age 9, and typed in everything I could remember!
And no, don’t worry, I won’t send it to you. Might share the “count.” Or tell the stories in context. If there is something you want to know, you can always ask.
September 18 at 10:30pm
All that rooting around in my love life wore me out. I am off to bed early. Maybe I will dream of you and a wall… or a desk… or a bed… or the pool… or out under the stars. BUNK!
Phil September 18 at 10:32pm
I will tell you my number. 6 is the grand total. Only been with wife. I remember everything about each one. I will never forget any of them. There were others from way back when. 


The only one who counted was you. I would love to hear the stories. Will share any of my history you want to hear. You were my second love. You were many firsts in my life. That kiss is a landmark. I am watching a John Denver Special. I loved his music. So many memories.

Phil September 18 at 10:40pm
It was only 5. Recounted
September 18 at 10:44pm
Oooh! I adore John Denver. I can still sing so many of his songs. “Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy” “Take Me Home, Country Roads” “Rocky Mt. High” “Poems, Prayers, and Promises” “Thank God, I’m a Country Boy.” Is he doing any of those?
Phil September 18 at 10:52pm
Heading off to bed. Nite Sassy. Sleep well, pleasant dreams. πŸ™‚

Phil September 18 at 10:59pm
All of them. So good to see him singing them
September 18 at 11:05pm
Very interesting number. I am surprised how fascinating I find all this. Nifty parts of the “Philip puzzle.”  Thank you for telling me. 
Since you’re being so forthright, I will try to be, too. If you get to six, then I am not sure how to count. This is people you dated? Kissed?
How can I be the only one who counts? That startles me. Maybe it ties in to why you’d be unfaithful now after turning down so many other chances. Maybe not something you can explain in a FB msg.
Starting at age 9, there are six guys that did not involve sex. I don’t officially count any of those. Mostly because I can’t remember much about them at this point.  My official number is 11.  Want to be number 12? πŸ™‚
That counts my three serious relationships that I mentioned before – 2 plus Hubby.  I think you knew #1 from home, but maybe we shouldn’t go there. 
So there were 8 other adventures. I’ve talked about three already – mostly once (like the solider in Mexico or one weekend like my other internet romance), or the “same time, next year” fellow. So that leaves five other guys, all very short term.  This is what happens when you don’t get married until your late 30s.  I hope this helps narrow the experience gap you perceived. Makes you more comfortable. Makes you less able to control your desire for me with pessimism on that front. πŸ™‚
September 18 at 11:13pm
Five. I think you’ve told me about each one – [list of names]. See – I was listening. πŸ™‚  Are they all your friends on FB? Yikes. You and my husband are the only ones I am still in touch with.
Ah, so many questions. But the answers can wait.  Sleep well, sweet man.


September 18 at 11:56pm
Phew! I just spent 45 minutes bopping around youtube listening to one John Denver song after another. Damn, that man could sing. HIs lyrics speak to me. He knew a lot about love and life. Now I am really going to bed.
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When I’m Up (I Can’t Get Down)

Saturday sights
Between Phil and You
September 18 at 7:17am
Good morning! It’s a quiet morning here. There’s a cap of flat clouds, blue peaking out on the far horizon… supposed to clear but only get to 70 degrees.
Trying to decide if I am awake. Cuddling with my cat at my computer… he is much nicer once he’s been fed.

September 18 at 8:34am
A blessed Yom Kippur to you. The Day of Atonement. We don’t celebrate it, but we should.
My friends who are practicing Jews are in temple today, fasting. Meditating about forgiveness. One posted yesterday about her “internal housekeeping” saying, “if there’s anything I’ve done to hurt or offend you in the past year, I’d really like to know about it so I can make amends if possible. If there’s anything I need to set right between us, I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d send me an email so we can find time to talk after Yom Kippur. I can’t think of any grudges I’m holding against any of you, so if you think you may have hurt or offended me, please take solace in the fact that I’ve almost certainly forgotten about it.” I wish we had a holiday like this. Seems so healthy to have a formal ritual to let go of all that. A blessed “reset button.” Amen.
September 18 at 9:10am
Hey, there! What’re you doing today? Hope it’s fun!
I have to leave my computer. Don’t want to. The deaths yesterday make me want to reach out to all my old friends. Being doing some, could do more. Want to stay here and surf the web, and write to you! You are my favorite old friend right now. πŸ™‚
But there are people to see, things to do.  Head to my parents’ place. Try to shed some light there. Not sure what will go on after that.
I was reading over our early messages last night. Interesting to see how fast we reconnected, on multiple levels. And how we are sharing so much. And how much better my life feels today. I was joking on the phone on Friday about you exhuming me. It’s a gross analogy, but it is so close to the truth… Keep digging.
September 18 at 12:53pm
Midday greetings from my parents’ place! Thinking of you…
At my dad’s computer…cleaning out his emails. Nurse is here checking on him…BP is low, heart rate is up. Bad. Strange – he was more tuned in this morning than usual. I told him all the stories of the past two days…kept him awake for almost 15 minutes! We cried together for the UMass band kids. Big schmoos, we are.
Thinking about big questions. Not answering them. Will keep thinking.
Have a great day!


When I’m Up (I Can’t Get Down)
Between Phil and You
September 18 at 3:01pm
My pal went to the Great Big Sea concert last night in Boston. Said everyone danced in their seats from moment one, great show. Have you heard of that band? Kind of Celtic, rock fun times bunch of Canadian guys.
She sent me a song to listen to. She doesn’t know why I think it’s so funny. May it make you giggle like it does me, considering how high you sent me the other night. Hee!

“When I’m Up (I Can’t Get Down)”

I am the fountain of affection, I’m the instrument of joy
And to keep the good times rolling
I’m the boy, I’m the boy,
You know the world could be our oyster,
You just put your trust in me,
Cause we’ll keep the good times rolling
Wait and see, wait and see….oh wait and see!
His exaltation, a sweet disintegration.
A few discolorations, then it comes along
up is why he chooses, the kisses and the bruises
There ain’t nothing he refuses, then it comes along
It comes along, and I am lifted, I am lifted, I am lifted!
[Chorus:]
When I’m up I can’t get down
Can’t get down, can’t get level
When I’m up I can’t get down
Get my feet back on the ground
When I’m up I can’t get down
Can’t get down, can’t get level
When I’m up I can’t get down
Get my feet back on the ground
He just needs, something to blind him
Something to wind him up
It won’t take long to find him
When it comes on strong.
Wise guys are grinning, street lights are spinning
The night is just beginning, and then it comes on strong
It comes on strong, and I am lifted, I am lifted, I am lifted!
Phil September 18 at 3:30pm
I like it! All my yard work done. Been to the dump. I’m sitting in the shade by the pool with the dogs reading. Nice relaxing end of the afternoon.

September 18 at 4:08pm
up, down..I don’t care as long as you are there with me! πŸ˜‰
September 18 at 4:16pm
A friend is posting photos of your beach. She’s there.  Wish I was with her. And you. *sigh*
Phil September 18 at 4:19pm
AAA. Gorgeous day. Nice breeze. Enjoying it

September 18 at 4:26pm
You… tempt me to say salacious things. About your body and what I would do if I was there…
September 18 at 4:38pm
About my hands… on your face. Holding your head while I devour your mouth.
Phil September 18 at 4:40pm
I love it when you do. Tell me what you want to do. I need an instant hardon. Need to press you against a wall, probe your mouth with my tongue as my hands roam over your tits and ass. I lift your skirt, find your pussy already wet, pick up one leg and slip my cock past your panty and inside you, fucking you you against the wall. That would make my day


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When I'm Up (I Can't Get Down)

Saturday sights
Between Phil and You
September 18 at 7:17am
Good morning! It’s a quiet morning here. There’s a cap of flat clouds, blue peaking out on the far horizon… supposed to clear but only get to 70 degrees.
Trying to decide if I am awake. Cuddling with my cat at my computer… he is much nicer once he’s been fed.

September 18 at 8:34am
A blessed Yom Kippur to you. The Day of Atonement. We don’t celebrate it, but we should.
My friends who are practicing Jews are in temple today, fasting. Meditating about forgiveness. One posted yesterday about her “internal housekeeping” saying, “if there’s anything I’ve done to hurt or offend you in the past year, I’d really like to know about it so I can make amends if possible. If there’s anything I need to set right between us, I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d send me an email so we can find time to talk after Yom Kippur. I can’t think of any grudges I’m holding against any of you, so if you think you may have hurt or offended me, please take solace in the fact that I’ve almost certainly forgotten about it.” I wish we had a holiday like this. Seems so healthy to have a formal ritual to let go of all that. A blessed “reset button.” Amen.
September 18 at 9:10am
Hey, there! What’re you doing today? Hope it’s fun!
I have to leave my computer. Don’t want to. The deaths yesterday make me want to reach out to all my old friends. Being doing some, could do more. Want to stay here and surf the web, and write to you! You are my favorite old friend right now. πŸ™‚
But there are people to see, things to do.  Head to my parents’ place. Try to shed some light there. Not sure what will go on after that.
I was reading over our early messages last night. Interesting to see how fast we reconnected, on multiple levels. And how we are sharing so much. And how much better my life feels today. I was joking on the phone on Friday about you exhuming me. It’s a gross analogy, but it is so close to the truth… Keep digging.
September 18 at 12:53pm
Midday greetings from my parents’ place! Thinking of you…
At my dad’s computer…cleaning out his emails. Nurse is here checking on him…BP is low, heart rate is up. Bad. Strange – he was more tuned in this morning than usual. I told him all the stories of the past two days…kept him awake for almost 15 minutes! We cried together for the UMass band kids. Big schmoos, we are.
Thinking about big questions. Not answering them. Will keep thinking.
Have a great day!


When I’m Up (I Can’t Get Down)
Between Phil and You
September 18 at 3:01pm
My pal went to the Great Big Sea concert last night in Boston. Said everyone danced in their seats from moment one, great show. Have you heard of that band? Kind of Celtic, rock fun times bunch of Canadian guys.
She sent me a song to listen to. She doesn’t know why I think it’s so funny. May it make you giggle like it does me, considering how high you sent me the other night. Hee!

“When I’m Up (I Can’t Get Down)”

I am the fountain of affection, I’m the instrument of joy
And to keep the good times rolling
I’m the boy, I’m the boy,
You know the world could be our oyster,
You just put your trust in me,
Cause we’ll keep the good times rolling
Wait and see, wait and see….oh wait and see!
His exaltation, a sweet disintegration.
A few discolorations, then it comes along
up is why he chooses, the kisses and the bruises
There ain’t nothing he refuses, then it comes along
It comes along, and I am lifted, I am lifted, I am lifted!
[Chorus:]
When I’m up I can’t get down
Can’t get down, can’t get level
When I’m up I can’t get down
Get my feet back on the ground
When I’m up I can’t get down
Can’t get down, can’t get level
When I’m up I can’t get down
Get my feet back on the ground
He just needs, something to blind him
Something to wind him up
It won’t take long to find him
When it comes on strong.
Wise guys are grinning, street lights are spinning
The night is just beginning, and then it comes on strong
It comes on strong, and I am lifted, I am lifted, I am lifted!
Phil September 18 at 3:30pm
I like it! All my yard work done. Been to the dump. I’m sitting in the shade by the pool with the dogs reading. Nice relaxing end of the afternoon.

September 18 at 4:08pm
up, down..I don’t care as long as you are there with me! πŸ˜‰
September 18 at 4:16pm
A friend is posting photos of your beach. She’s there.  Wish I was with her. And you. *sigh*
Phil September 18 at 4:19pm
AAA. Gorgeous day. Nice breeze. Enjoying it

September 18 at 4:26pm
You… tempt me to say salacious things. About your body and what I would do if I was there…
September 18 at 4:38pm
About my hands… on your face. Holding your head while I devour your mouth.
Phil September 18 at 4:40pm
I love it when you do. Tell me what you want to do. I need an instant hardon. Need to press you against a wall, probe your mouth with my tongue as my hands roam over your tits and ass. I lift your skirt, find your pussy already wet, pick up one leg and slip my cock past your panty and inside you, fucking you you against the wall. That would make my day


by

Song I wrote for you

September 17 at 4:17pm
Speaking of singing… I remembered this morning that you inspired me to write to write a song, way back when. Another thing that’s part of my life and I’d forgotten is tied to you. Hope it’s not too freaky.
Maybe I can sing it for you sometime. I might even have played it for you when I wrote it. I used to sit in the sanctuary at church and play for hours. I have a very brief memory of you sitting on the piano bench with me, singing something and smiling.
It’s a very upbeat, jazzy tune with optimistic lyrics. I think I wrote it right after I met you. Peppy, piano tune. Not the best rhymes, but hey. 14 years old, ya know? I only wrote two or three songs back then. So not many people inspired me like you did.
I’ve been feeling upbeat lately, so here it is again.
[lovely lyrics but can’t post it in the blog… sorry!]
September 17 at 10:43pm
Hey there, handsome. Hope you are having a good evening.
Made it over to MIT for the musical. Hubby was out of sorts, so I went alone. Chatted with friends in the audience. The place was packed. Who knew pink hair is the in thing with college students?
Sadly, show was awful. The music director thought staccato was the only way to sing…probably to increase their diction. Ick. So choppy! I was bad and left at intermission. Only done that once before. Ah, well. Live and learn.
September 17 at 10:44pm
When I got bored, I thought about meeting you for dinner. Focusing on first hug. kisses. groping. trying to decide how far to go in my mind. I replayed it about six different ways. All good. It seems more possible than it did before.
I looked at overalls online today. I am the only woman in history thinking about sexy clothes to wear on a date who is looking at bib overalls!
Phil September 17 at 11:14pm
Sorry H was out of sorts and the show was not great. Sad about the deaths. Painting is done. Looks good. House is still a disaster. Wife did nothing between Tuesday and Friday. I hate that. Went and sat in the tub with a scotch. Just wanted to be left alone for a bit. That did not happen either. Laziness drives me crazy. I’ll get over it. Bibs are sexy. Nothing is sexy. Jeans and a sweater are sexy. Don’t put so much thought into it. Just be you. πŸ™‚

Phil September 17 at 11:16pm
Need a massage. Need some loving. Guess I’m just needy tonight. Goodnight Babe. Sleep well.
September 18 at 12:00am
Ooh! Messages… I get so excited when I see a little number at the top of my FB page. I know it’s from you! And you know just what to say. “Just be you.” Good plan. Just want to be the best possible me. Will give me confidence and courage. And drive you wild. Heh.
I wish I could fulfill your needs right now. Rub your back, whisper softly to you about more…sleep well.
by

Nobody does it better

September 17 at 12:17am
Headed to bed…leaving you a song before I go.
“Nobody Does It Better” by Carly Simon

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you’re the best
I wasn’t lookin’ but somehow you found me
It tried to hide from your love light
But like heaven above me
The guy who loved me
Is keepin’ all my secrets safe tonight
And nobody does it better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody does it quite the way you do
Why’d you have to be so good?
The way that you hold me
Whenever you hold me
There’s some kind of magic inside you
That keeps me from runnin’
But just keep it comin’
How’d you learn to do the things you do?
Oh, and nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, baby, darlin’, you’re the best
Baby you’re the best
Darlin’, you’re the best
Baby you’re the best
=========
September 17 at 7:56am
Good morning! Big sad news today…UMass Marching Band leader died at age 57 last night after their show. Didn’t know much about them except for a couple of our friends are alums. But it’s one of those stories where I can sympathize. So sad. Life is short… 
Rainy morning here… but I feel great! Hope you have any easy time painting. I will think of you and Boston Creme donuts.
Phil September 17 at 9:00am
I like Boston Cream too. My favorite pie. Almost never eat it though. That’s so sad about the band leader. So young. I didn’t say love to complicate things, make anything more serious or anything else. You were my kind of girl, a little out there, free spirited, fun. We fit. I went out with other girls, remember bits and pieces but not much. Remember every girl I ever went out with, not that many of them. Only a couple really stayed in my heart and my mind. I know what lust feels like, know what like is, know what being in love feels like. I see the best in people. I often don’t see the other side until much later. I’m a much better judge at work. Ah well. We have led interesting lives. I have certainly enjoyed mine. I have wonderful friends, loved, laughed, cried, would not change much if I could. Enough philosophical dribble. I’m off to the gym and then on to painting. Later sexy girl.
September 17 at 9:29am
Wow! It is so great to start my day with you!
Phil September 17 at 10:27am
70 minutes running. I’m awake now!

September 17 at 10:38am
You’re so cute when you philosophically dribble!
I’m taking it in the right spirit – interesting to see what you’re thinking. Thinking about what you say. See how it fits with my thinking. Nice to know I am not alone in my musing.
It is not ruining the fun. Fun comes in many forms. Like there are different kinds of sex – wild, crazy or slow, sweet – all very fun.
Try not to filter. Saves energy. Makes our bond deeper, unique. Think “I can tell her anything. She gets it.”
It does shock me how often you write something and I think “Hunh. I could have written that sentence.” Not something that I think with anyone else’s writing.
September 17 at 10:53am
Will be off the grid for a couple of hours. Get my hair done. Not going to let them cut it. Want to be able to let it down. Way down. After that, I will really be ready to see you. πŸ™‚
Phil September 17 at 1:05pm
Running around the house singing at the top of my lungs, painting. Looks good. I hate to paint but got the place to myself, tunes cranked up, this is ok

September 17 at 1:30pm
Wow! That almost sounds like fun!
I survived a trip to the salon. I hate going there. I am not into the whole “beauty industry!” I am not ordinarily very “girlie” – no makeup, no perfume, no jewelry, no nail polish, no frilly clothes or silly shoes. No pink. Ever. But you make me want to be girlie again, in certain ways. Hee!
September 17 at 4:04pm
So how’s the painting going? Hope it went well. I wish I could hear you singing…
Been a weird day. First the UMass bandleader drops dead, then an older man who works nearby was found dead at home this morning. 
I am completely alone in the main office. A very rare thing. So quiet. Too much time to think. So I am indulging in a fantasy about you and me and an outdoor waterfall! HAH!
I’ll go home as soon as Hubby appears to ferry me away. He is having a bad day…*sigh*
We’re supposed to go see a musical tonight at MIT. We’ll see if that actually happens. 
Have a lovely evening!

by

The L Weird

September 16 at 9:22pm
Hey, there! Had a burst of productivity at work after our call…all keyed up. It was grand talking with you! Wish I could have gone all the way with you. πŸ™‚
Phil September 16 at 9:24pm
Sipping scotch enjoying the evening. Thinking about camp, church, our hometown, a sweet sexy girl, a mature sexy woman. Love is a wonderful thing, stays with you forever. I think when you have loved someone, that never stops. You may not end up together, life moves in mysterious ways but it’s always there. I have loved a few people and it never stopped. The joy, the pain, all the other feelings but I think once you have loved someone, you will love them forever. They may hurt you, they may leave yet you always love them. I don’t really understand that but I know its true. I’m going to go sit by the pool, sip a fabulous scotch and think about a girl and a woman. I miss that girl and I look forward to meeting the woman. I look forward to it very much. I think I will love the woman as much as I think I loved the girl

September 16 at 9:39pm
Had a great dinner at one of my favorite restaurants – Mary Chung’s on Mass Ave in Cambridge. 
http://www.marychung.com/en/ Mary Chung Restaurant
It’s a hole-in-the-wall Chinese place near MIT. Very hot Szechuan food. They have this appetizer – Suan La Chow Show – dumplings with sesame oil, garlic, ginger and soy… hot and yummy. Wait…that sounds like you! πŸ˜‰

September 16 at 10:18pm
My goodness… you’re mellow and philosophical this evening.
Careful… it makes you even more attractive. Didn’t think that was possible. *fans self*
What brought that on? Is this the pre-birthday “taking stock of your life” thing settling over you? or the Scotch talking? or what?
Phil September 16 at 10:22pm
Just me. Nothing else, just me. Sorry if I was serious. Did not mean to be. Just a mellow relaxing evening.

September 16 at 10:36pm
Glad you are having a mellow time. You deserve it after all the hard work you’ve been doing in the evenings. πŸ™‚
Serious is fine. If you feel serious and you want to share, I want to read it. Nothing wrong with it. You’ve certainly been very understanding when I had one of my rare serious spells.
September 16 at 11:51pm
I am not ignoring that you typed the L-word. I’ve written six messages… none seem right. Don’t feel like you have to answer any of this… just want you to see where my head was tonight.
#1 cussed you out for changing lanes without signaling… shifting from 2nd gear into overdrive. Not the right first response to such sweet musing from you. Delete.
#2 started in 1973. Told you “I love you” every day. Married you. Had your babies. Traveled with you. Chased you around the kitchen to grab your ass the day after you turned 50. Made love naked in the hot tub with you. Whoa…strange. delete.
#3 when did you start thinking about love again? Before Classmates? When you mentioned camp and I didn’t balk? The night we talked about Mexico? When I said something or did something? A little at a time or suddenly? Too many questions! Delete.
#4 was about not getting serious. Just having fun. Love hurts. It’s not convenient. It comes with so much baggage. Downer. Delete.
#5 sitting on your face. Lovely but off topic. Delete.
#6 mused about the girl’s voice from the past saying: “I will always love him… even if I were married someday (heaven forbid) I would give him my love if he came and asked for it.” ARE YOU ASKING FOR IT? DELETE!!!
#7 You’re asleep. I want talk to you and hold you and fuck so much that I can’t even formulate a simple response when you mention love to me for the first time in 37 years.
Okay. Here is the real message:
What a beautiful thought! I am so glad you told me where your head is tonight. I’ve been thinking about it, too. I look forward to hearing more when you are ready. If you don’t say more, we’ll talk when I see you. de…send!

by

Anticipation

Early Thursday
Between Phil and You
September 16 at 1:29am
Phil? the rolling O? it finally stopped… another frickin half hour after you left! Man, oh, man… I’m fine. So fine… this afterglow could light the city of Boston for a week!
“These are the good old days.” Right now.
Here’s today’s tune for you. This one you’ve probably heard.
Look at the words… amazing how they fit us.

ANTICIPATION by Carly Simon
From 1972

ANTICIPATION by Carly Simon
We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day.
Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting
And I tell you how easy it is to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me.
But I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was thinking about how right tonight might be.
Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting
And tomorrow we might not be together
I’m no prophet, I don’t know natures way
So I’ll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here, ’cause these are the good old days.
=========
September 16 at 7:53am
Good morning! I hope your are having a great day.
Not a cloud in the sky. Yet another gorgeous day there… such a string of them right now. The tops of the trees in the parking lot are bright orange now. No trucks out there today.
Gotta run… have to open up the office today. My assistant that usually does it is out today.  
Phil September 16 at 9:44am
Off to a good start. Hope you are having a great day. Out of here as soon as I can get away. Much to do!

September 16 at 10:04am
Very, very quiet here. Just me and one bubbly assistant. I don’t have anything to do except listen to a very special voicemail on my phone… I was very sorry to be in the shower when you called. But it is nice to have your voice and wonderful words to hear whenever I want.
September 16 at 10:25am
Ah, last night…last night was… memorable. You are a talented guy. *big smile*
The triple twist of old memories / last night / and future possibilities is boggling my mind. In a very good way. I jump back and forth between the teens’ first kiss to last night, then on to the fantasy of us on Saturday, naked under the stars near the pond after a chicken dinner. HAH!
Phil September 16 at 10:26am
My morning fantasy was in the shower rubbing soap over your breasts, my cock slippery, sliding into the crack of your ass, fingers probing, slippery, wet, hot, on my knees, tongue in your freshly washed ass, fingers in your pussy, you holding on to the wall to remain standing, you turn, grab my hair and pull my face to your pussy, one leg is over my shoulder, hands on your ass pulling you closer as my tongue dances on your clit, then darts inside. You say just fuck me, I want your cock. You turn around and lean against the wall, I rub my cock over your ass, probing, teasing. You say not there and reach under guiding me to your pussy, as I thrust forward, I hear the aahh, and as I start to really fuck you, I feel your legs go weak……………….

Phil September 16 at 10:37am
Hope that helps you concentrate on work

September 16 at 11:39am
You… you… Imp! Get over here and let me bite your nose. Before I stick my tongue down your throat. I suppose I deserve it, considering what I just sent you.
You know exactly what reading that does to me… shower… good… this morning I thought “he could wash my back… for a start.” and then my thoughts wandered and I was late to work! Good thing no one here cares.
question is…how many times can I read it and still have an effect? GOING TO FIND OUT!
Finish up your work. Get outta there. And CALL ME! Please?
[Phil called me and we talked for a long time while he was driving to the beach]
Phil  September 16 at 3:25pm
Thanks for keeping me company on the drive! I enjoyed it.