There to listen

Monday, September 22, 2014
6:40am Phil 
Glad you got some lobsta. Back to work for me. 

My brother and the gang are coming Friday. Looking forward to that. 

Worried about my friend. I feel helpless but she was high as a kite and drunk as hell and told me something she wants no one else to know. Hard to watch someone who was pure and simple destroy themselves. She will be addicted if not already so. When you say you know it’s bad but you like it, you are half way there. Only a matter of time before an arrest for possession or attempting to buy and then the job goes. I want to help but don’t know how.


Good morning kid.  There must be someone who knows what to do, either online or in your life… other people have faced this.  If you’re going to help, sooner is better.

10:20am Phil 
I’m trying. Don’t want to share the info either. She trusts me. Reaching out to friends. Most say tell her to go to counseling now. Getting them to go is another issue. You hate yourself for doing it but love how it makes you feel. What makes it so hard to fight.  

She has not responded to me since Saturday nite. We talked for way over an hour then but nothing since. That’s the way she has been. Just told her I was here for whatever she needs. Another friend told me to confront the boyfriend. That’s not the way. I hate him for getting her involved in this and no good would come of me getting in his face. Hate’s a word I use rarely but I hate him, wish nothing but bad for him. Makes me feel lesser for that but he is hurting someone I love and I take that seriously and personally. Her choice but he’s garbage. No one else I can tell. Thank you for listening.

I know this might be extreme, but could you drop a dime on him, anonymously?  Get him arrested without ensnaring her?  Do the cops even care about this stuff much anymore?

10:52am Phil 

They care about coke not marijuana, but that’s a last step that I would never get forgiveness for

11:09am Phil 

She swears if he does not stop, she will leave, I don’t believe that. She does not want to be alone again. She likes the fact he is a bit of a rogue. She also has discovered she likes the coke. Problem is crack is the next step when snorting no longer does it for you. I have witnessed the effect of that. Both are a bitch to quit. You can’t just say, I’m not going to do it anymore. She went out to get drunk on her birthday and ended up drunk and high. Who at 45 goes out to get drunk?  I’d opt for a nice candlelight dinner with wine and then a lot of snuggling and together time to follow. Just me though. I’m good with the bar and having drinks but I hate being drunk and avoid it at all costs

12:12pm Phil 

Told me it was a lapse in judgment and won’t happen again. She promised she was good. Denial and a lie. She is anything but good. Was not a momentary lapse, she has been snorting for awhile and the boyfriend has been doing it all his life, he ain’t gonna stop. You can’t help someone who does not want your help. She can’t call me high as a kite, tell me she loves me, talk about the kids and all and the decide oh shit and block me out till she fucks up again and needs to talk but I will talk, I’ll be there and let her rip a little more of my heart out. I have never not responded, not answered, I have always been there to listen to her cry or talk or whatever she needed and I guess I always will be. I’m an overgrown fool I guess.

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