This is the life

Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Kris: Moved work appt for tomorrow…can b there at 6:00…but would 6:30 be better? sure hubby’s a nice man…but want to avoid meeting him….we’ll see how i feel fucking his wife in their home. hopefully REALLY good…but the whole thing’s still a little “strange.” if i get to really like it i’ll be saying: “omg…what’s this woman turning me into!?” 馃槈 11:25 AM
Kris: Off to do some work…..refinancing mortgage again will save some and lower payments….take a little pressure off. how’s your day going? little tired? 1:21 PM
Me: Hooray for more time! No worries about running into Hubby. He has to be at rehearsal at 6 pm. He will pick me up at work at 5:15 pm, drop me off and head out. And if you did it would be fine. He met old flame and was friendly and fun with him. 2:20 PM
Kris: “Hi .I’m Kris…here to bang your wife….wanna see my new bike? Really? You do? Cool!” Sassy….it’s a different universe than the one i’m used to. Anyhow….glad i can scurry over there asap tomorrow. big smile.  Have i told u lately how sweet u r? 2:29 PM
Me: Ha ha. He’d say, “Thank goodness! She is so good to me and deserves to have fun! I don’t want her anymore, so glad you can help her out with that!” You are so perceptive to notice my sweetness. 馃槈 2:31 PM
Kris: doesn’t take much perception to notice something obvious.  whatever hubby would say…..still very different for me…..intrigues me……u intrigue me. maybe learn a little more tomorrow…i shouldn’t even admit this to u…..but what the f #%….waiting for a call back from my doc for a script for something was never concerned about before. Sunday was great for me…..with one “little part” (pun intended) disappointing….maybe dic has something to help the little fellah out (OMG….I’ve been reduced to a dribbling idiot…..if nothing else i hope u get a few laughs out of me). 馃檪 2:46 PM
Kris: i meant maybe “doc” has something to help me out…..Freudian slip 2:48 PM
Kris: here’s one last tid bit that’s NOT so funny…but luckily no harm done.. I accidentally sent my text to u about “Name That Girl”…hide mail, etc to my SON! i immediately sent text saying made mistake….supposed to go to mom….”I’m playing a silly game with her.” he’ll believe it….cuz there was nothing really explicit or sexual or incriminating…..but OMG….brief moments of fear and panic……all is well though….no worries…..a liile more to the story i csn tell u later……able to chat later tonite….if so, what time? 3:03 PM
Me: Oops! I have made a few little mistakes… know that panic! Thank goodness it was always “not as bad as it could have been.” I should be home from Mom’s by about 8 pm and can chat anytime after that. It’s always great to! 3:07 PM
Kris: You just make me smile!…and giggle and laugh….like an infatuated school girl…..not ashamed to admit it.  you’re fun! Chat later. 馃檪 3:11 PM
Kris: Hmmm…let me see…go workout and chat late?…..Or stay home and chat earlier? Decisions, decisions……OK!…..tonite chat. earlier. Finishing outside work on automated sprinkler system….almost done. quick shower, then play w u round 9! 8:33 PM
Me: Leaving Mom’s -home in about 30 min 8:40 PM
Kris: k 8:59 PM
Kris: home yet? 9:40 PM
Kris: hope you’re ok 9:48 PM
路       Apr 29 9:17 PM Kris: Mwah!…what a great greeting!
路       Apr 29 9:19 PM Kris: Or maybe that was from last night! LOL….you here?
路       Apr 29 9:22 PM Kris: Well, if not yet…here’s my greeting:
路       Apr 29 9:22 PM Kris: Mwah! Hug, kiss and a little groping!
路       Apr 29 9:51 PM Sassy: Hiya!
路       Apr 29 9:52 PM Sassy: So sorry I am running late. Mom needed some extra stuff done tonight.
路       Apr 29 9:52 PM Kris: no problem. I was starting to worry that maybe you got in an accident or something
路       Apr 29 9:53 PM Kris: how is she?
路       Apr 29 9:53 PM Sassy: She was pretty good tonight.
路       Apr 29 9:54 PM Kris: pretty good tonite as opposed to what?
路       Apr 29 9:54 PM Sassy: Some nights she is very flaky, tired, or argumentative
路       Apr 29 9:54 PM Kris: oh
路       Apr 29 9:55 PM Kris: do you see her every Tues?
路       Apr 29 9:57 PM Kris: if i ask too many questions about stuff you’re not interested in talking about let me know… just taking an interest in your whole “real” life….but can talk about other stuff….
路       Apr 29 9:57 PM Sassy: I see her for dinner on Tuesday and lunch on Saturday
路       Apr 29 9:58 PM Kris: do you eat at different places….or same?
路       Apr 29 9:59 PM Sassy: different – The 99, the Chinese buffet, KFC, pizza, Taiwanese, Mexican, Thai and a fancy steak house/Italian place
路       Apr 29 9:59 PM Kris: what’d you have yourself tonite?
路       Apr 29 10:00 PM Sassy: Taiwanese – wonton soup, pork shumai, sauteed string beans and pork lo mein
路       Apr 29 10:00 PM Kris: sounds yummy….was it good?
路       Apr 29 10:02 PM Sassy: Yes. and Mom always pays!
路       Apr 29 10:02 PM Kris: nuthin like a free dinner…eh?
路       Apr 29 10:04 PM Sassy: Indeed!
路       Apr 29 10:04 PM Kris: what was your most “plesant moment/s of diversion” from the hum-drum today….anything… or not much?
路       Apr 29 10:05 PM Sassy: Texting with you.  : )
路       Apr 29 10:05 PM Kris: really!?!
路       Apr 29 10:06 PM Sassy: Oh yeah
路       Apr 29 10:06 PM Sassy: Work was beastly. You gave me brief breaks.
路       Apr 29 10:06 PM Sassy: What about you?
路       Apr 29 10:07 PM Kris: same. your responses…..and a distant second was working outside on the lawn…which is a little “recreational” for me….gives my mind a rest…
路       Apr 29 10:07 PM Kris: how was work beastly?
路       Apr 29 10:11 PM Sassy: Everyone came at me at once. I had been waiting to hear back on about six projects and they all piped up today. And my new boss… she just riles me.
路       Apr 29 10:12 PM Kris: i had to pee…back
路       Apr 29 10:13 PM Sassy: Did you close the door?  : )
路       Apr 29 10:13 PM Kris: Of course!  This might sound mean or “twisted”….but I’m actually relieved to know you can actually GET riled at someone. sometimes I wonder…”how can she be so nice all the time?” someone/something must piss her off SOMETIMES (or course hoping it’s not me). sorry. this is probably the “rascal in me”….
路       Apr 29 10:14 PM Sassy: No, I get it. Of course, no one would know I was riled.
路       Apr 29 10:15 PM Kris: you just behave nicely…even when you’re really ticked…..but if I do something that at least IRRITATES YOU….how will I know?
路       Apr 29 10:17 PM Sassy: Why do you want to know?
路       Apr 29 10:18 PM Kris: maybe I鈥檒l just enjoy not knowing? but I’m not used to that. usually i know “right away”and pretty regularly, so being with you is VERY different.
路       Apr 29 10:18 PM Kris: I would want to know so that I could stop doing it!
路       Apr 29 10:19 PM Kris: if we stay together for awhile and you feel comfortable/secure鈥 maybe you’ll tell me a little, so I can “make adjustments”
路       Apr 29 10:21 PM Kris: you’d have to trust I won’t “fall apart.鈥 I鈥檒l just put my big girl panties on and suck it up and make some changes. LOL
路       Apr 29 10:22 PM Sassy: Okay. You have not irritated me at all yet. but when you do I will try to say something if it seems important.
路       Apr 29 10:22 PM Kris: NOTHIN?????
路       Apr 29 10:22 PM Sassy: Nope
路       Apr 29 10:23 PM Kris: omg….I must be doing something wrong…..I take pride in being highly annoying quite often. I must REALLY like you. if I鈥檓 behaving this unusually well….LOL
路       Apr 29 10:23 PM Sassy: Hee hee
路       Apr 29 10:24 PM Kris: you haven’t been “put off” by my “over the top too-long” texts—-or emails?
路       Apr 29 10:24 PM Sassy: Oh no…I like them!
路       Apr 29 10:25 PM Kris: wow! that’s a relief. I’m quite a blabber mouth…case you hadn’t noticed
路       Apr 29 10:26 PM Kris: back to work…or tell me you want to talk about something else….give me an example of how your boss riled you today.
路       Apr 29 10:26 PM Kris: or not…your choice
路       Apr 29 10:28 PM Sassy: Eh… let’s talk about something fun.
路       Apr 29 10:28 PM Sassy: You all set to visit me tomorrow?
路       Apr 29 10:30 PM Kris: sort of
路       Apr 29 10:33 PM Sassy: Can I help out more?
路       Apr 29 10:33 PM Kris: no….not you
路       Apr 29 10:33 PM Kris: you’re great…in every way…
路       Apr 29 10:33 PM Sassy: My place is messy, hoping you won’t notice
路       Apr 29 10:34 PM Kris: not at all…..doesn’t matter at all.
路       Apr 29 10:34 PM Sassy: Clean but cluttered
路       Apr 29 10:34 PM Kris: that’s fine….I won’t care.
路       Apr 29 10:34 PM Sassy: You know how you notice that stuff if you’re about to have company…
路        Apr 29 10:34 PM Kris: right. but I’m not “company” I hope
路       Apr 29 10:35 PM Sassy: What are you?
路       Apr 29 10:36 PM Kris: friend with benefits….lover….fuck buddy….take your pick….just not “company”
路       Apr 29 10:36 PM Kris: last thing i’m going to be “examining” is your housekeeping
路       Apr 29 10:37 PM Kris: I鈥檒l be interested to see your home…but “clutter?” that’s called living….
路       Apr 29 10:38 PM Sassy: Phew
路       Apr 29 10:38 PM Kris: have any fantasies working in that little imagination of yours…..I was disappointed Sassy didn’t nail me to the wall in the hotel room.
路       Apr 29 10:38 PM Kris: JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!
路       Apr 29 10:38 PM Sassy: Ha ha
路       Apr 29 10:38 PM Sassy: Oh yes…
路       Apr 29 10:39 PM Sassy: I have a thing for smooching in the elevator
路       Apr 29 10:39 PM Kris: Yummm….you’ve given me a whole new appreciation for kissing… you remember what I told you before we first met?
路       Apr 29 10:41 PM Sassy: Yup
路       Apr 29 10:41 PM Kris: Now I look forward to kissing you. I’m not stuck in a rut on that one now, which is REALLY NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!
路       Apr 29 10:41 PM Sassy: That you weren’t much into kissing… and you scoffed at me being the best kissa evah!
路       Apr 29 10:42 PM Kris: Right….I鈥檝e been in the rut of only kissing during the hottest part of having sex….not any other times….like it wouldn’t be fun or interesting other times….but you make it REALLY fun…and you are a GREAT KISSER!
路       Apr 29 10:44 PM Kris: what if someone stops the elevator on the way up….should we just ignore them…or stop….LOL
路       Apr 29 10:44 PM Sassy: probably stop…
路       Apr 29 10:45 PM Kris: probably….but the rascal in me says….keep going.
路       Apr 29 10:45 PM Kris: of course…they’re not my neighbors
路       Apr 29 10:45 PM Sassy: Oh… my cousin from NC who was choosing amongst all the snazzy colleges? She chose Harvard!  So she鈥檒l be in town!
路       Apr 29 10:45 PM Kris: surprise you?
路       Apr 29 10:46 PM Sassy: Yes… I thought from what her parents said that she’d pick Yale
路       Apr 29 10:46 PM Kris: do you know why she chose harvard?
路       Apr 29 10:48 PM Kris: what caused you to mention that suddenly….text you just got…email………I know you’re a great online multi-tasker…..must be hard keeping up….specially with all your other suitors….but try to focus over here…ok……
路       Apr 29 10:48 PM Kris: TEASING!!!!!!!!!!!!
路       Apr 29 10:49 PM Sassy: My sister said “she really liked all the people she met here, really loved the politics center”
路       Apr 29 10:50 PM Kris: is she interested in studying politics?…i think you said that was her interest
路       Apr 29 10:50 PM Sassy: yes
路       Apr 29 10:50 PM Sassy: thinks she is headed for law school
路       Apr 29 10:50 PM Sassy: politics
路       Apr 29 10:51 PM Kris: r u close to her?
路       Apr 29 10:51 PM Sassy: No. I don’t think I鈥檝e ever met her.
路       Apr 29 10:52 PM Kris: never met your cousin?
路       Apr 29 10:52 PM Sassy: She was 4 mos old at my wedding…
路       Apr 29 10:52 PM Kris: wow…
路       Apr 29 10:52 PM Sassy: I know her parents well, and her aunt
路       Apr 29 10:53 PM Sassy: and her sister
路       Apr 29 10:53 PM Kris: one of her parents a sibling of father or mother?
路       Apr 29 10:53 PM Sassy: my mom has one brother with two daughters
路       Apr 29 10:53 PM Sassy: so I have two first cousins
路       Apr 29 10:54 PM Sassy: and this is a daughter of one of them
路       Apr 29 10:54 PM Kris: ah…so second cousin
路       Apr 29 10:54 PM Sassy: I get mixed up… can never remember if it’s second or first cousin once-removed
路       Apr 29 10:55 PM Kris: whatever…i get it…..back to fantasies….anything after the elevator?
路       Apr 29 10:55 PM Sassy: It is odd now that I think about it
路       Apr 29 10:55 PM Kris: what’s odd?
路       Apr 29 10:55 PM Sassy: That I haven’t seen her
路       Apr 29 10:55 PM Kris: happens
路       Apr 29 10:56 PM Kris: you probably told me…but where does she live?
路       Apr 29 10:56 PM Sassy: NC
路       Apr 29 10:56 PM Kris: so which cousins did you have dinner with the other night…her parent/s?
路       Apr 29 10:56 PM Sassy: Yes
路       Apr 29 10:56 PM Kris: you haven’t been down there to visit them…with her there too?
路       Apr 29 10:58 PM Sassy: No.
路       Apr 29 10:58 PM Sassy: I used to go every summer when my grandparents were alive
路       Apr 29 10:58 PM Sassy: But I haven’t been to see family since her parents wedding
路       Apr 29 10:58 PM Sassy: in 1994
路       Apr 29 10:59 PM Sassy: My college roommate is also from NC. I saw her in 2002…
路       Apr 29 11:00 PM Kris: so any more fantasies…besides kissing in the elevator?
路       Apr 29 11:01 PM Sassy: kissing in the kitchen
路       Apr 29 11:01 PM Kris: LOL….k…..and probably any other room we venture into…..anything else?
路       Apr 29 11:02 PM Sassy: rolling around in my bed.
路       Apr 29 11:02 PM Kris: that sounds fun….any particular “ways”….
路       Apr 29 11:02 PM Sassy: haven’t gotten that far. You?
路       Apr 29 11:04 PM Kris: no….just “little scenarios”… but no “big plans”…..was thinking about that a lot after Sunday… fantasies are fun…..but sometimes there’s a “little gap”….and other times a “bigger gap” between fantasies and realities. still fun to imagine but sometimes what happens is different. sometimes better….sometimes not……you?
路       Apr 29 11:07 PM Sassy: I have to go get Hubby. Back in 15 min. Will you still be up?
路       Apr 29 11:08 PM Kris: can be if you’d like to chat more….would you?
路       Apr 29 11:08 PM Sassy: Yes please!
路       Apr 29 11:08 PM Kris: k…I鈥檒l be here…mwah!
路       Apr 29 11:09 PM Kris: You may not read this till you get back…but “Yes please!” is so sultry/vulnerable/politey enticing/classy/SEXY……to me “sexy” isn’t just “Oh, Fuck me hard baby!”….it’s subtle little things…..and you’ve got a lot of them……just sayin’ 馃榾
路       Apr 29 11:32 PM Sassy: back
路       Apr 29 11:33 PM Kris:  : )
路       Apr 29 11:35 PM Kris: wassup….thoughts….
路       Apr 29 11:35 PM Sassy: It’s COLD outside
路       Apr 29 11:36 PM Kris: cold as a witch’s tit is what my Uncle used to say…so i still do…have no idea what it means….just fun to say…when it’s cold out.
路       Apr 29 11:36 PM Sassy: I have heard that. my older sister say “Colder than monkey fuck”
路       Apr 29 11:36 PM Sassy: Not sure what temperature monkey fuck is?
路       Apr 29 11:37 PM Kris: ha…imagine close to human fuck…not that cold!
路       Apr 29 11:37 PM Kris: random question: wanna take a ride in my boat down the Charles River someday?
路       Apr 29 11:37 PM Sassy: You have a boat?
路       Apr 29 11:38 PM Kris: yes…big enough to pull tubes and water skiers…go to Cape everywhere and NH lakes…all over…
路       Apr 29 11:38 PM Sassy: Wow…
路       Apr 29 11:40 PM Kris: just don’t have a truck to pull it anymore…used to but blew motor last year…so i rent trucks for a day or two at a time…to pull it to different boat launches…there’s a boat launch in Watertown.  I launch into the Charles from there and have been out into Boston Harbor…go through a small lock near the MOS into Boston Harbor. it’s fun…I鈥檒l take you sometime if you keep me around long enough.
路       Apr 29 11:41 PM Sassy: Sounds like it would be quite an adventure!
路       Apr 29 11:41 PM Kris: would you feel safe?
路       Apr 29 11:42 PM Sassy: Only issue might be the sun, but could take steps
路       Apr 29 11:43 PM Kris: it has a top I could put on it for more shade…..but there’s still usually a lot of sun on a boat no matter what you do.
路       Apr 29 11:43 PM Kris: are you afraid of water at all……can you swim well?
路       Apr 29 11:43 PM Sassy: Water’s okay. I can swim… haven’t in a long time
路       Apr 29 11:44 PM Kris: i have life jackets….you could wear one if you needed or wanted to….I usually don’t but can have them handy.
路       Apr 29 11:44 PM Kris: my favorite place to boat is one spot on the cape.
路       Apr 29 11:44 PM Sassy: Oh?
路       Apr 29 11:45 PM Kris: launch in orleans…..and take a river out into little Pleasant Bay….on to Pleasant Bay…down coast line all the way to Chatham…..end up down near opening out to ocean….tons of seals there….nice beaches…stop on beach….bring lunch….hang out.
路       Apr 29 11:46 PM Kris: i don’t like just sitting on a beach though…I like “being in motion” in the boat….stop briefly….but then get restless quickly….like to keep moving…..which is why I like driving a lot and will like being on my bike soon!
路       Apr 29 11:47 PM Sassy: Yeah… I’m not a “lie on the beach” gal.
路       Apr 29 11:47 PM Kris: you and I will “be in motion” together a lot….I’m hoping.
路       Apr 29 11:47 PM Sassy: I like walking on the beach in the winter… when no one is around.
路       Apr 29 11:48 PM Kris:  I can see that….
路       Apr 29 11:48 PM Sassy: It’s mostly an excuse to eat LOBSTER!
路       Apr 29 11:48 PM Kris: in the winter?
路       Apr 29 11:49 PM Sassy: Yep
路       Apr 29 11:50 PM Kris: r u teasing me a little….or do you actually like walking on the beach in the winter?
路       Apr 29 11:50 PM Sassy: My favorite place in Gloucester is open again… I should take you sometime
路       Apr 29 11:50 PM Sassy: I go alot. New Year’s… Valentine’s Day…
路       Apr 29 11:53 PM Kris: OR…..we could launch from the public launch in Essex….go up the Ipswich River….along the coast to Wingaersheek Beach….down the Annisquam River into Gloucester Harbor…and then go to your place!
路       Apr 29 11:54 PM Sassy: Wow…
路       Apr 29 11:54 PM Sassy: That would be very interesting
路       Apr 29 11:54 PM Kris: that’s a fun ride….usually stop and camp out at Wingaersheek Beach….along side of Annisquam River……lots of boaters camp out there…great spot….it is VERY FUN and interesting.
路       Apr 29 11:54 PM Sassy: I鈥檝e been there a lot
路       Apr 29 11:55 PM Sassy: Hubby almost drowned there once.
路       Apr 29 11:55 PM Kris: Wingaersheek?
路       Apr 29 11:55 PM Sassy: Yup
路       Apr 29 11:55 PM Kris: wow!…what happened?
路       Apr 29 11:56 PM Sassy: We took a couple of friends up there.
路       Apr 29 11:56 PM Sassy: The guy went out on the rocks then swam out a little, not realizing it gets very deep very fast….
路       Apr 29 11:56 PM Sassy: He was floating out into the boat channel
路       Apr 29 11:57 PM Kris: “The guy” being your hubby?
路       Apr 29 11:57 PM Sassy: No, the guest
路       Apr 29 11:57 PM Sassy: He started panicking… calling out to Hubby
路       Apr 29 11:57 PM Sassy: Hubby went out to get him
路       Apr 29 11:57 PM Sassy: the two of them got turned around and messed up
路       Apr 29 11:58 PM Sassy: the tide was going out
路       Apr 29 11:58 PM Sassy: they finally swam back against it and crawled up onto a rock… got all scratched up
路       Apr 29 11:58 PM Sassy: Guest said they nearly drowned but Hubby stayed calm, pulled the guest back part way
路       Apr 29 11:59 PM Kris: wow!….it would have been easy for both to go under…glad they didn’t!
路       Apr 30 12:00 AM Kris: adrenaline probably helped
路       Apr 30 12:01 AM Kris: nothing like the fear of death to help muster some needed strength
路       Apr 30 12:01 AM Kris: they were kind of lucky. could have been much worse
路       Apr 30 12:02 AM Sassy: Yeah…
路       Apr 30 12:02 AM Sassy: I adore being there are low tide and walking out the sandbar to the confluence
路       Apr 30 12:03 AM Kris: i know what you mean…..if we’re still together maybe we could do that sometime…..take the boat there and spend some time there.
路       Apr 30 12:03 AM Sassy: I vary between there and Good Harbor. Both so lovely
路       Apr 30 12:04 AM Kris: trying to think where Good Harbor is.
路       Apr 30 12:04 AM Kris: too lazy to look online…waiting for you to tell me…LOL
路       Apr 30 12:05 AM Sassy: It’s also Gloucester, on the ocean/twin lights side
路       Apr 30 12:06 AM Kris: i had a client used to live in Gloucester…talked about going there a lot….
路       Apr 30 12:07 AM Kris: i’m sure I鈥檝e been there…just escapes me where it is exactly at the moment….know generally.
路       Apr 30 12:10 AM Kris: i love chatting with you…but don’t want to be tired tomorrow…especially tomorrow night. so maybe should start to say good night…..anything “burning” to say before good night?
路       Apr 30 12:10 AM Sassy: I am fading… sorry… yes… should go. You are so good to me!
路       Apr 30 12:10 AM Sassy: Ping me when you get close and I will go to the garage to let you in
路       Apr 30 12:12 AM Kris: Ok…i’m glad you feel I’m good to you. I just want to say I have a little “performance anxiety”….which I鈥檝e never had before…….it’s not you….and i don’t know why….but i think you’re going to help me through it…and it won’t last….but it’s very uncomfortable right now…..ANYHOW….good night….
路       Apr 30 12:12 AM Kris: sleep tight…
路       Apr 30 12:12 AM Kris: don’t let the bed bugs bite….
路       Apr 30 12:12 AM Sassy: Sweet sexy dreams
路       Apr 30 12:12 AM Sassy: See you TOMORROW NIGHT!
路       Apr 30 12:13 AM Sassy: We can chat in person! Whee!
路       Apr 30 12:13 AM Kris: Sweet sexy dreams to you too…YES!
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2014 12:48 AM
Subject: Size chart 
Hiya!  Found this condom size chart with brands based on length. 
Not sure if a different one might help.  Might be worth trying other if thing don’t resolve.  
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2014 1:47 AM
Re: Size chart
Hi Sassy,
I didn’t see any chart—or will you show it to me tonight?  Did you omit a word in your last sentence?  Meant to say?– “Might be worth trying other guy if thing don’t resolve.”  Teasing (sort of).
Attached here are some pics of me boating at the Cape last summer—weighing about 225 lbs.–about 45 lbs. heavier than now at about 180 lbs.  Or just some shots of things we took pics of while on the boat.
[he attached five photos – three of him quite a bit chubbier, steering his boat with two fingers, one of a seal, and the last a beautiful harbor with boats and a pier]
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2014 2:47 AM
Subject: “Ah!–this is the life” (pic from boat at Cape last summer–near Fishermen Pier, Chatham)
He attached a photo of a seal lying on it’s back floating along in the sun 

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