A better place

Wednesday, April 30, 2014
7:47am Sassy
Good morning kid!

7:52am Phil

Good morning. Talked to my angel today. Got to tell her I love her and she loves me back. Told her I would drop everything and come to her if she ever wanted me. She’s happy and we are where we are. I at least have a little peace

7:57am Sassy

Wow!  So great to hear that!

8:51am Phil

She is happy with where she is and we both got to say things we needed to. For the first time in some time, I’m ok.

8:53am Sassy

How wonderful!  Did you ever send that letter?  Or what made things change?

8:56am Phil

No I decided to just call and see if she would answer. Had a great conversation. She met a nice guy who makes her laugh. Told her I was happy she is happy and that’s all I ever wanted. I opened the door so she knows and I got to tell her how I feel. I’m ok.

9:16am Sassy

Cool!  You are such a good guy.

9:43am Phil

No, I’m not but I love her with all my heart and nothing would make me happier than the opportunity to prove that to her every day for the next 30 years. However if she is happy, I want her to stay that way.  I’d take her place in prison to make her happy. That may be fucked up but I would. No one ever touched me like this. I know she loves me and I’ll take that to my grave with a smile

9:47am Sassy

Wait just a little.  I bet she tosses this guy soon.

9:50am Phil

I told her if she wanted me, I would drop everything and go. I will gladly give up everything I have to give it an honest try. If it does not work, I’ll have no regrets but I know it would. We have a blast together.

I would not go to jail for my wife. I’d go visit but I would not take her place. I know that.

I also know if the Beach Gal calls, I will simply get up and go, find a lawyer and start over.

I just know I don’t want to push her in any way. I just wanted to open the door and allow her to choose what makes her happy

10:10am Phil

I’m such a sap but 56 years old and no one ever made me feel like this. Today, I at least feel at peace. I know she still loves me, does not hate me and now the bulls eye is on me. If she calls, I have to be ready to go instantly. I don’t know that she will.

1:48pm Phil

I at least tried. Frankly, if I were her and I was happy with my current situation,  not sure what I would do. I don’t know how old he is, what he looks like, what he does. May all be factors. He has a place to live that he apparently did not have before, so he’s in no hurry to go any place.  She is happy and has some security, that may be enough. Not enough for me. I need to feel it, I need that passion. I need to be in love and that takes time, does not happen in a month. Who knows but I tried and if she stays, at least I did not just let her walk out of my life. I can handle losing as long as I have it my best shot. I’m successful and I know she loves me, I look ok and I make her laugh too. Will see but I’m in a way better place than I have been in a long time.

2:00pm Sassy

Get working on other things on your list, so you will be ready to go.  If she wants you, fine.  If not, leave for yourself.  Really.  You deserve to be happier.

2:10pm Phil

I’m thinking. My wife is just so damn blah. I don’t like her clothes, don’t like how she wears her hair, don’t like the attitude, total lack of compassion, just no fun, no passion. If I want to go to wineries, craft fairs and shopping the rest of my days she is great.  I’m gone in an instant for the girl, otherwise maybe I just suck it up and get over myself. Most days I just don’t like her much, so I keep to myself, sit on opposite couches, you may be right

5:56pm Phil

Hey cutie!
[photo of him in an old sweatshirt and a big grin]

8:26pm Phil

Thank you for always being there for me.

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