Gradual exposure

Tuesday, April 8, 2014
       Apr 08 10:12 PM Kris: Hi!
       Apr 08 10:18 PM Kris: u there?
          Kris: On if u want to chat 馃檪 10:22 PM
           Me: Out picking up to be back in 15 minutes 10:24 PM
           Kris: K 10:24 PM

       Apr 08 10:44 PM Sassy: Hiya! Back!
       Apr 08 10:45 PM Kris: Hi!
       Apr 08 10:45 PM Kris: how was your day?
       Apr 08 10:46 PM Sassy: Busy. You?
       Apr 08 10:46 PM Kris: same…under a lot of pressure…deadlines barely meeting…ugh!
       Apr 08 10:47 PM Kris: what were u picking up…hubby or food?
       Apr 08 10:48 PM Sassy: Hubby
       Apr 08 10:48 PM Sassy: and a hot chocolate. : ) 
       Apr 08 10:49 PM Kris: that a favorite?
       Apr 08 10:49 PM Sassy: I’m having a phase
       Apr 08 10:49 PM Sassy: In the summer it’s iced chai latte
       Apr 08 10:49 PM Sassy: Sometimes raspberry lime rickies
       Apr 08 10:49 PM Kris: what’s a rickie?
       Apr 08 10:50 PM Sassy: sprite, lime juice and grenadine (pomegranate syrup)
       Apr 08 10:50 PM Kris: sounds good!
       Apr 08 10:51 PM Kris: tell me something that made you laugh today
       Apr 08 10:54 PM Sassy: I was chatting with a woman who said her beau told her to stop calling him an idiot. So she was looking for synonyms!
       Apr 08 10:54 PM Sassy: We had fun rolling off twit, prat, jerk, nincompoop…
       Apr 08 10:54 PM Kris: lol
       Apr 08 10:54 PM Sassy: cathartic
       Apr 08 10:55 PM Kris: doesn’t sound like you came up with anything to make the poor idiot feel any better…
       Apr 08 10:58 PM Kris: what gets you mad…and what do you act like when it happens?
       Apr 08 10:58 PM Sassy: very very rare
       Apr 08 10:58 PM Kris: how come?
       Apr 08 10:58 PM Sassy: just not in my nature
       Apr 08 10:59 PM Kris: ok…but you must SOMETIMES…no?
       Apr 08 11:00 PM Sassy: I get very quiet.
       Apr 08 11:00 PM Kris: when you’re mad?
       Apr 08 11:00 PM Sassy: Yes
       Apr 08 11:00 PM Sassy: Take deep breaths.
       Apr 08 11:00 PM Sassy: Clean the kitchen!
       Apr 08 11:01 PM Kris: do you end up telling whoever makes you mad that you are?
       Apr 08 11:01 PM Sassy: Mostly not
       Apr 08 11:01 PM Kris: who does…make you mad sometimes…hubby?
       Apr 08 11:02 PM Sassy: not much
       Apr 08 11:02 PM Sassy: mostly my boss
       Apr 08 11:02 PM Sassy: stupid people online
       Apr 08 11:02 PM Kris: did any stupid people today make you mad?
       Apr 08 11:03 PM Sassy: nope. Very rare… usually when they’re being mean to others
       Apr 08 11:03 PM Kris: being mean live…or talking about others not there?
       Apr 08 11:03 PM Sassy: mean right there
       Apr 08 11:04 PM Kris: like calling names…saying people are stupid…like how?
       Apr 08 11:04 PM Sassy: Devaluing their opinions, not letting them talk.
       Apr 08 11:05 PM Kris: so you want people to value each other and try to be respectful?
       Apr 08 11:06 PM Sassy: respect is crucial
       Apr 08 11:06 PM Kris: one you think should be…but isn’t always?
       Apr 08 11:06 PM Sassy: People have a lot of different kinks
       Apr 08 11:06 PM Sassy: It’s important to not be all “ewww”
       Apr 08 11:07 PM Kris: i’m assuming about sexual preferences…
       Apr 08 11:07 PM Sassy: can be about almost anything
       Apr 08 11:08 PM Kris: can u give me an example
       Apr 08 11:09 PM Sassy: some you’d expect… over anal sex or public sex or toys
       Apr 08 11:09 PM Sassy: other things like how soon to have sex
       Apr 08 11:09 PM Sassy: or who pays for meals, hotels
       Apr 08 11:09 PM Sassy: or whether to talk politics
       Apr 08 11:09 PM Sassy: or various computer tactics
       Apr 08 11:09 PM Kris: computer tactics
       Apr 08 11:10 PM Sassy: do you delete everything or not? Is it okay to send cock shots?
       Apr 08 11:10 PM Sassy: Apple vs PC!
       Apr 08 11:10 PM Kris: omg…who cares what operating system anyone uses?
       Apr 08 11:11 PM Sassy: some people care a lot. Idiots. Jerks. Twits. PRATS!
       Apr 08 11:11 PM Kris: lol
       Apr 08 11:11 PM Kris: what’s a prat
       Apr 08 11:11 PM Sassy: But it can be whether they’d use tracking software
       Apr 08 11:11 PM Kris: tracking software for what?
       Apr 08 11:11 PM Sassy: to know where their spouse is at any given moment
       Apr 08 11:12 PM Kris: so they don’t get caught cheating?
       Apr 08 11:12 PM Sassy: right
       Apr 08 11:13 PM Kris: what’s a prat…haven’t heard that one before
       Apr 08 11:13 PM Sassy: an incompetent, stupid, or foolish person; an idiot.
       Apr 08 11:13 PM Sassy: Brits use it
       Apr 08 11:14 PM Kris: oh…an old term…i just haven’t heard it before…
       Apr 08 11:14 PM Sassy: Or Aussies, Indians… former commonwealth nation dwellers
       Apr 08 11:14 PM Kris: huh?
       Apr 08 11:14 PM Sassy: People from all over the world talk to me online
       Apr 08 11:15 PM Kris: those people use the word “prat”…is that what you’re saying?
       Apr 08 11:15 PM Sassy: yes
       Apr 08 11:15 PM Kris: oh
       Apr 08 11:15 PM Sassy: Is your wife sitting next to you?
       Apr 08 11:16 PM Kris: no…she started a new job today…worked till about 10…probably driving now…home in 45 minutes or so.
       Apr 08 11:17 PM Sassy: Aha! So I could ravage you. ; ) 
       Apr 08 11:17 PM Kris: ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!
       Apr 08 11:17 PM Kris: But you strike me as a girl who doesn’t like to travel too far from home…
       Apr 08 11:18 PM Sassy: Really? I’ve gone a long way to ravage a man in the past.
       Apr 08 11:18 PM Kris: Really…so you’re going to come to NH when my wife’s gone?
       Apr 08 11:19 PM Sassy: Doesn’t seem wise in terms of being inside your house with my long grey hairs and distinctive scent…
       Apr 08 11:19 PM Sassy: But I can drive places
       Apr 08 11:19 PM Sassy: I’ve even flown places!
       Apr 08 11:20 PM Kris: ok…so you’re not such a “home body”…
       Apr 08 11:20 PM Sassy: I’ve even driven to the wild frontier of NH!
       Apr 08 11:20 PM Kris: Ha!
       Apr 08 11:20 PM Sassy: Okay… the beach… not so wild. But over the border!
       Apr 08 11:21 PM Kris: yes…i know NH is almost like a foreign country to people in MA…lol
       Apr 08 11:22 PM Kris: i had a major “omg” moment at work today…could have been bad…but wasn’t…
       Apr 08 11:22 PM Sassy: That happen often?
       Apr 08 11:23 PM Kris: not like this…had to do with shopping for std testing…
       Apr 08 11:23 PM Sassy: ahem
       Apr 08 11:23 PM Kris: meaning?
       Apr 08 11:23 PM Sassy: nothing like real life and work life colliding
       Apr 08 11:24 PM Kris: right
       Apr 08 11:24 PM Kris: i was kind of stupid
       Apr 08 11:24 PM Sassy: Tough for me to believe that
       Apr 08 11:25 PM Kris: i’m usually not…but want me to tell you…i guarantee your response will be “omg”
       Apr 08 11:25 PM Sassy: Sure
       Apr 08 11:26 PM Kris: ok…try to make it brief…but also wife just came home and now i’m pretending to listen to her while typing at the same time (don’t hold it against me)…
       Apr 08 11:26 PM Kris: so here’s what happened…
       Apr 08 11:26 PM Kris: i shopped for std testing…called some places in my insurance network…
       Apr 08 11:26 PM Kris: got some info and prices…
       Apr 08 11:27 PM Kris: checked out the tstd website you gave me…
       Apr 08 11:27 PM Kris: decided to use the tstd website…
       Apr 08 11:27 PM Kris: went online to schedule an appt for today…
       Apr 08 11:27 PM Kris: online application failed for some reason…
       Apr 08 11:27 PM Kris: called the website and was put on hold to talk to a counselor…
       Apr 08 11:28 PM Kris: was waiting for a counselor to answer…30 minutes.
        Apr 08 11:28 PM Kris: elevator music is playing…with an occasional “thank you for calling testing for stds”…then more elevator music…
       Apr 08 11:29 PM Kris: while i’m waiting i’m sitting in my car…ready to go into a home for a 3:30 meeting.
       Apr 08 11:29 PM Kris: now i’ve been on hold for about 45 minutes…
       Apr 08 11:29 PM Kris: so i make a really stupid decsion…
       Apr 08 11:30 PM Kris: i decide to stay on…put the volume on really low…and go into my meeting still on hold…elevator music playing…
       Apr 08 11:30 PM Kris: say I鈥檓 trying to buy something and don’t want to miss having them pick up…
       Apr 08 11:31 PM Kris: they are very close to me…very flexible…don’t care…laugh and say fine…
       Apr 08 11:31 PM Kris: elevator music playing softly as we talk…
       Apr 08 11:31 PM Kris: all of a sudden there a small voice that starts to say…
       Apr 08 11:31 PM Kris: thank you for calling the testing for stds…
       Apr 08 11:31 PM Kris: i freak out and shut off the phone…
       Apr 08 11:31 PM Kris: they didn’t hear it…
       Apr 08 11:32 PM Sassy: phew
       Apr 08 11:32 PM Kris: and now you say…
       Apr 08 11:32 PM Kris: you idiot would fit (except you’re too nice)…
       Apr 08 11:33 PM Sassy: I’m sorry… that must have been nerve-wracking!
       Apr 08 11:33 PM Kris: REALLY…THAT’S IT…NOT “HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE!!!!!!!!!!!!
       Apr 08 11:34 PM Kris: I like you
       Apr 08 11:35 PM Sassy: I put myself in your shoes
       Apr 08 11:37 PM Kris: you’re really sweet…I REALLY like you…anyhow…i called back…made an appt…gave them my pee and blood…will send you results on Thursday when I get them…if I’m not clean I’ve been carrying something for 25 years…since that’s the last time i had sex with anyone but my wife…it’s the truth.
       Apr 08 11:38 PM Sassy: Or she’s been having more fun than you think.
       Apr 08 11:38 PM Kris: lol…i know 100% NO…
       Apr 08 11:38 PM Sassy: But I hope this gives you peace of mind in one way
       Apr 08 11:38 PM Sassy: And I can give it to you in another
       Apr 08 11:39 PM Kris: i did it for you…i’m not concerned about having anything…but it wasn’t fair to ask you to “just believe me”…
       Apr 08 11:40 PM Kris: it will put my mind at ease when you get yours though…you’re right…hopefully you don’t have anything…
       Apr 08 11:42 PM Sassy: Indeed
       Apr 08 11:43 PM Sassy: I am trying not to think about it until I have to think about it
       Apr 08 11:44 PM Kris: understood…but the fact that you’re willing to do it means you’re not just “sticking your head in the sand” either…which I respect you for.
        Apr 08 11:45 PM Sassy: It will be good to know
       Apr 08 11:45 PM Kris: exactly
       Apr 08 11:45 PM Sassy: I had a couple of tests done in December
       Apr 08 11:45 PM Kris: for what?
       Apr 08 11:46 PM Sassy: Chlamydia and Gonnorhea
       Apr 08 11:46 PM Kris: assuming they were negative?
       Apr 08 11:46 PM Sassy: yes
       Apr 08 11:47 PM Kris: so that’s two out of 8 on the full panel
       Apr 08 11:47 PM Sassy: they told me to wait on the others due to various incubation protocols
       Apr 08 11:47 PM Kris: been long enough now to work?
       Apr 08 11:47 PM Sassy: Yes
       Apr 08 11:47 PM Sassy: could have done it in early March
       Apr 08 11:48 PM Kris: have you been tested before…in the past?
       Apr 08 11:48 PM Sassy: yes
       Apr 08 11:48 PM Sassy: once after a fling and the other for insurance
       Apr 08 11:48 PM Kris: every need to be treated for anything?
       Apr 08 11:48 PM Sassy: no
       Apr 08 11:48 PM Kris: that’s good
       Apr 08 11:49 PM Kris: short of hiv i think the others are all treatable…not 100% sure…haven’t really needed to think about it much…until now.
       Apr 08 11:49 PM Sassy: even HIV is treatable these days. Not curable…
       Apr 08 11:50 PM Kris: yes…but i meant curable…gone…
       Apr 08 11:51 PM Kris: i asked today about why they didn’t test for HPV and another one i had on my list…
       Apr 08 11:51 PM Kris: got answers…
       Apr 08 11:51 PM Kris: no blood test for HPV…
       Apr 08 11:51 PM Sassy: in men
       Apr 08 11:52 PM Kris: i don’t know…maybe not…usually what women are tested for via pap smear…right?
       Apr 08 11:52 PM Sassy: my nurse said they do a pap smear and only test for HPV if the pap is abnormal in certain directions
       Apr 08 11:53 PM Kris: oh…
       Apr 08 11:53 PM Sassy: what about the other test?
        Apr 08 11:54 PM Kris: i’m probably going to misspell it…but it’s the one called something like trichomonmasis…
       Apr 08 11:54 PM Sassy: yes
       Apr 08 11:54 PM Kris: talked to a nurse on the phone about it at a clinic today
       Apr 08 11:54 PM Kris: she said it will present as a greenish discharge…that has a strong smell like a fish (lovely!)
       Apr 08 11:55 PM Kris: discharge from penis…maybe in urine…
       Apr 08 11:55 PM Kris: or woman’s vagina…yuck!
       Apr 08 11:55 PM Sassy: I think I’d notice that
       Apr 08 11:55 PM Kris: when I go down there i’m not looking for “fish and chips” thank you very much!
       Apr 08 11:55 PM Sassy: Heh
       Apr 08 11:56 PM Sassy: Did they ask you why you wanted to be tested?
       Apr 08 11:56 PM Sassy: Or any sexual history questions?
       Apr 08 11:56 PM Kris: not the tstd.org counselor…but a nurse at the public health dept. in Manchester asked me…
       Apr 08 11:56 PM Kris: it was on the phone…she asked…
       Apr 08 11:57 PM Kris: are you concerned about having been exposed to something…
       Apr 08 11:57 PM Kris: i said…no…
       Apr 08 11:57 PM Sassy: that’s subtle
       Apr 08 11:58 PM Kris: someone asked me to do it that i’m thinking of being in a relationship with (simple truth is less complicated than lying—-these are health professionals after all)
       Apr 08 11:58 PM Sassy: Did you pay for it on your credit card?
       Apr 08 11:59 PM Kris: yes…i thought about shopping for a clinic that i could pay through my insurance…but higher risk of getting caught if bills come in the mail…
       Apr 08 11:59 PM Sassy: W doesn’t see credit card bill?
       Apr 08 11:59 PM Kris: no…i do all the finances…
       Apr 08 11:59 PM Sassy: Nice
       Apr 09 12:00 AM Kris: sort of…it’s just “one more thing to do”…but means I “get away with stuff” easily…
       Apr 09 12:00 AM Sassy: Phew
       Apr 09 12:01 AM Kris: why phew
       Apr 09 12:01 AM Sassy: So you don’t have to worry about it from that angle
       Apr 09 12:01 AM Kris: right
       Apr 09 12:01 AM Sassy: So you can do AM, this stuff, lunch etc.
       Apr 09 12:02 AM Kris: what do you mean?
        Apr 09 12:02 AM Sassy: charge stuff and she won’t see
       Apr 09 12:02 AM Kris: yes
       Apr 09 12:03 AM Sassy: Once I charged a hotel and the guy gave me cash because his W goes over all the bills
       Apr 09 12:03 AM Kris: yeah…that would be tough…
       Apr 09 12:04 AM Sassy: Several of my pals can’t cheat because they can’t figure out how to finance it
       Apr 09 12:04 AM Kris: pals?
       Apr 09 12:04 AM Sassy: online buddies
       Apr 09 12:04 AM Kris: because they can’t afford it…but can’t hide it?
       Apr 09 12:04 AM Sassy: can’t hide it
       Apr 09 12:05 AM Sassy: We talk about mischief phones
       Apr 09 12:05 AM Sassy: stockpiling small amounts of cash here and there
       Apr 09 12:05 AM Sassy: gift credit cards
       Apr 09 12:07 AM Sassy: Did you get to ride the motorcycle yet?
       Apr 09 12:08 AM Kris: glad i don’t have to deal with all that…but sometime want to talk with you about us…and money…but not now cuz i’m tired…and i have to get up really early for meetings tomorrow…so if there’s something else…had this all typed…so will send then answer question about bike?
       Apr 09 12:08 AM Sassy: Ok
       Apr 09 12:08 AM Kris: answer about bike…not yet…have a question for you about bike…
       Apr 09 12:10 AM Kris: does the thought of being on bike make you nervous…because of safety?
       Apr 09 12:10 AM Sassy: Yes
       Apr 09 12:11 AM Kris: ok…so i’ll use my considerable therapy skills to treat you like one of my clients who has “anxiety with agoraphobia”…
       Apr 09 12:11 AM Sassy: Oh great
       Apr 09 12:11 AM Kris: it’s a technique called “gradual exposure”…
       Apr 09 12:11 AM Kris: so how does this sound…
       Apr 09 12:11 AM Sassy: I won’t think about it until I have to think about it.
       Apr 09 12:12 AM Kris: to begin with…i’ll ask you to just sit on the back of it…with your favorite music playing through the four external speakers…
       Apr 09 12:12 AM Kris: and to really “sweeten” it for you鈥
       Apr 09 12:12 AM Kris: i’ll ask you to grope me while we’re sitting on it…
       Apr 09 12:12 AM Sassy: oooh
       Apr 09 12:13 AM Kris: no riding…just sitting on it…
       Apr 09 12:13 AM Kris: baby steps… : ) 
       Apr 09 12:13 AM Kris: “gradual exposure/desensitization”…to overcome fear…
        Apr 09 12:14 AM Kris: maybe you can use that technique for whatever “wild moves” you have planned for me in bed
       Apr 09 12:16 AM Sassy: hmmmm
       Apr 09 12:17 AM Kris: hmmm?
       Apr 09 12:17 AM Sassy: thinking
       Apr 09 12:17 AM Sassy: got a little lost mulling over… you… in bed… me…
       Apr 09 12:17 AM Kris: lost in what way?
       Apr 09 12:18 AM Sassy: in my mind… fantasizing
       Apr 09 12:19 AM Kris: ok…just when i thought it was safe to go…tell me…
       Apr 09 12:19 AM Sassy: Sleep is more important
       Apr 09 12:19 AM Sassy: Plenty of time later
       Apr 09 12:19 AM Sassy: I probably won’t be online tomorrow night
       Apr 09 12:19 AM Sassy: It’s a busy project night with an after party
       Apr 09 12:20 AM Kris: won’t be able to chat?
       Apr 09 12:20 AM Sassy: right
       Apr 09 12:20 AM Kris: what’s the party like?
       Apr 09 12:20 AM Sassy: take over the top floor of a restaurant
       Apr 09 12:21 AM Kris: with project people?
       Apr 09 12:21 AM Sassy: yes
       Apr 09 12:22 AM Kris: ok…sounds “different”…fun…
       Apr 09 12:22 AM Kris: did u read my email…
       Apr 09 12:22 AM Sassy: remind me to show you a photo tomorrow
       Apr 09 12:22 AM Sassy: or Th, from the party
       Apr 09 12:22 AM Kris: ok
       Apr 09 12:23 AM Sassy: Can you go now?
       Apr 09 12:23 AM Kris: meaning say good nite?
       Apr 09 12:24 AM Sassy: Yes and yes
       Apr 09 12:24 AM Kris: yes…nite sexy Sassy.
       Apr 09 12:24 AM Sassy: Mwah! Sweet sexy dreams Kris!

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Sassy Girl

It's the gal you knew in high school that you've wondered about. And she's got something to say! Time to heat up old flames!

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