And Still He Persisted

June 3, 2018 Sunday

There’s a new man on the horizon. 

After The Trainer went silent in April, I wasn’t sure I could ever put myself out there again. We seemed so perfect for each other and he just disappeared and I was crushed. I sat on the shelf, rarely opened the Ashley Madison web site, and focused on work and The Northerner when he had time. 

The less you log on, the fewer message you get, so I didn’t have any reason to log on. When I went to check, they were too young or too strange and I just couldn’t get psyched to answer. I’m sorry… I know how frustrating that is for guys!

I resolved on the first of June to go in and start answering, even if it is was to say, “Thanks but no thanks.”

I found a bunch of older messages from the same guy. Oh dear… I felt especially bad that he’d had to spend so much money trying over and over. Ugh. Never had a guy so determined to get me to answer!  I focused on him at last on June 3.

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WINK (automated message this is free)

Date: May 9th – 4:54pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Please check out my profile to see if you might be interested in connecting with me. If you are interested, ‘wink’ me back and I will initiate contact!

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PHOTO ACCESS (another automated message)

Date: May 9th – 4:54pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Access to Private Showcase Attached.
Please click the “key” icon.

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WINK (a second automated free message)

Date: May 10th – 12:16pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Please check out my profile to see if you might be interested in connecting with me. If you are interested, ‘wink’ me back and I will initiate contact!

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That is odd… most men don’t contact me again unless I contact them. That’s what all the advice says… don’t pester her. But he is eager.

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Date: May 10th – 12:17pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Hi there. I would love to know you, Sassy 🙂

I think I check most of your boxes. I am in your area during the day and it might be easy to meet. Do let me know!

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Hmmm… he ups the ante and pays to send me a real message a minute later? Very odd.

It was lunch time at work so I took a quick look at his profile – he’s more than 10 years younger. That is very unlikely to work. I usually adore them but they don’t want me. And he is dark-skinned. Tough to tell from his blurry photo exactly what ethnicity or race but I’ve never adventured in that direction (except once in high school which didn’t go anywhere), so without thinking about it too much, I move on to other messages waiting in the inbox.

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Date: May 10th – 2:14pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
No? Now that you have checked my profile. If not, I won’t be offended if you let me know.

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Of course he can tell I looked at his profile… he must be keeping a very close eye on his Ashley Madison account! Oh dear… I wonder if there is some sort of sale on the site for Mother’s Day or something so he gets to write as much as he wants for free? Or he doesn’t mind spending money?
I am really busy at work so I move on.  I never want to offend a man but I also don’t want to encourage this onslaught of repeat messages. 

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Date: May 10th – 8:50pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Take a chance on me 🙂

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Another message? I can’t decide if this is charming or creepy?

I don’t have time to figure it out. He doesn’t respond so I forget about it.

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PHOTO ACCESS

Date: May 17th – 5:36pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Hello. Is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me!

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Wow… here he is again! So persistent. I do not know what to make of it. I am not ready to jump back in. I know I should write but I don’t. Bad Sassy. *sigh

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Date:Jun 1st – 3:46pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Hi there. Would love to connect with you. Reaching out again. Cheers.

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Wow… the 8th contact. I really need to answer.

I look at his profile more closely. He is tall and thin, young, has quite a vocabulary (words I don’t know!), definitely an intellectual – mentions reading twice and various high level topics and philosophical issues, wants someone active and fit, well-read, who likes wine… oof. I am none of those things. He is not going to want me. *sigh

I look at the extra photo he sent. This one is not blurry! He has a beautiful smile. So young and cute! His skin is like chocolate.  My fingers tingled to touch!  I haven’t been particularly attracted to anyone of color but there is something special about him. He reminds me of that actor… what was his name? From that TV series about people with super powers… um… about 10 years ago now? Heroes! I dig into IMDB.com looking for a name and photo… aha! Sendhil Ramamurthy… yum. Hmmm… maybe he is using a photo of Sendhil? There is no way a hottie like that would want a gray-haired old lady, right? 

Sendhil Ramamurthy

I write up a response to thank him and explain why it’s not worth his time and… then I stare at it. What is the point? I leave a draft in my inbox and resolve to think about it more before I send it. It takes me two days but I finally do it.

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Date: Jun 3rd – 4:34pm
From: Sassy

Message
Hiya! Hope you’re enjoying this beautiful Sunday. Thank you for your interest in me and for sharing your sexy smile.

I don’t think I’m the gal for you. I don’t read much and I had to look up sapiosexual! I’m always happy to talk and dish about AM, but I never get far with younger men as I have gray hair and appear more like someone’s grandmother than someone to play with . I wish you all the best in your search. -Sassy

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I also wrote to another younger man in a similar situation, telling him I’m not right for him and best of luck.  Trying to be courteous.  He wrote right back whining and wanting more info about why I thought he wasn’t right and nothing positive. It was not the way to make me want to reply.  It made me sorry I had written.  *sigh

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Date: Jun 3rd – 5:16pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
I have a huge fascination with someone much older (yes, even at this age) and would love to meet you. If you are nearby, perhaps we can have lunch one day? Or may be coffee?

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Wow.  What a contrast!  He doesn’t know what a favor the other guy did him.  Heh. 

Of course he wrote right back and jumped right into an invite to meet. That is usually a very bad sign. Ugh. Now what do I do? He is quite charming and straightforward. He sounds… real. I am curious. *sigh

I can feel myself sliding off the shelf.  Hope I don’t crash and burn too quickly! 

I take a deep breath and decide to play along. It’s usually only 2-3 days before with the younger men disappear, and I don’t have much else going on, so what the heck? It takes me a long while to craft a response. I decide to keep it simple and Sassy! I send it and go off to bed early.

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Date: Jun 3rd – 9:15 pm
From: Sassy

Message
Good evening! Older women, eh? Fascinating. Lunch or coffee sounds fun.

It is okay if I ask a few questions, get to know you a bit?

Hugs with groping! -Sassy

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Date:Jun 3rd – 10:43 pm
From: OddlyAlone

Message
Of course. Ask away.
Here or e-mail? [email redacted]

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