The New Guy Writes Back!

The new guy FINALLY WROTE BACK!  I admit it – after 48 hours passed, I assumed he didn’t like my message or liked some other woman’s message better, or lost his nerve.  Whatever.  A week – yes, an entire WEEK LATER – late on a Sunday night, I get an email from Ashley Madison, and click over there to find this message from the new guy! 
Date:  Jun 9th – 11:38pm
From:  The New Guy
Sorry for delay Figured this is like putting a message in a bottle, and thought just not looking would help ensure a return. really dont know next step: like you, Im looking for something more to life than what I have now,. I like to laugh, like to hug, like to touch. Also dont know how to mchat on-line, and really dont like all the texts that describe physical activity in slavering detail (I really like physical intimacy, I just dont like talking about it in this way. I do like your phrase hugs with groping though. I live in the burbs, go near you en route to work, maybe we could meet for coffee and chat. If thers other stuff youd like to talk about, let me know. Hope to talk again before a week goes by.
Making me wait a week for what?  Geesh mister.  Gentleman – I do NOT recommend this tactic.  With the hundreds of responses the average woman gets on AM, she will have met 3 other guys in that time and not even remember writing to you! 
Hmmm… his punctuation is really crappy!  And he doesn’t know his way around a computer.  And doesn’t have a clue about online dating.  Ugh.  Do I want to steer this ship?  I suppose I can teach him… might be fun?  Hmm…. I wonder if all this is some ploy to get me to meet sooner.  But it certainly seems genuine.  
But wait… what’s this?  He doesn’t want to text about sex?  WTF?!  That’s a huge part of the fun!!!  Maybe I can convince him that can be worth the time… hmmm… That certainly made answering more of a challenge.  I can talk about topics other than sex.  Sort of.  Maybe.  
Date:  Jun 10th – 4:23pm
From:  Sassy
Good afternoon! Great to see your message. Don’t be nervous – I don’t bite! I may nibble your ear a little… I’d love to meet you, but it usually helps to talk a little bit so I feel more comfortable. I promise not to keep you waiting long… you’ve probably been thinking about this awhile. 
Here are three quick questions: 
1) What’s your favorite special meal? 
I adore trying new places. I’m not much of a cook, but make really good reservations. 
2) Were you raised around here? 
I’m from upstate NY but moved to MA for college and stayed. I used to be a Yankees fan but I have grown out of it. Go Sox! 
3) You mentioned theater. Have you been to see a show lately? 
Ask me anything you are curious about and we’ll be on the road to fun! 
More hugs! More groping! 

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