Category Archives: Sassy Answers

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Sassy Answers – TMI Tuesday: The O Man

Today’s TMI Tuesday topic is ORGASMS!  I came (huh huh) late to the party, but still could not resist answering the questions!
1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.
I remember it very clearly.  I was alone, lying on my back on my bed in the dark in an old t-shirt, listening to a young man on the phone.  I was 34 years old!  We had never met face-to-face but had been enjoying heated online chats.  Late one night he asked if he could call me… whee!  I had this very odd feeling and when I hung up… I realized what I’d been missing.  And that it could happen without touching. 

2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc).
I’m a big fan of fingers.  Inside.  Curled up toward my navel.  Oh yeah…. hit that g-spot mister!

3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc).
There are so many ways I want to try!  I’ve been reading sexy blogs for almost a year, but haven’t had a chance to try out all the fun things they talk about.  
4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep? 
Not that I know of… I rarely have sexy dreams.  Waaaah! 
5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm?
I think I’m strange in that I don’t need physical tough… I can do it with my mind.  I prefer #2 above.  or chatting online with Philip. 😉


6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm?
Hmmm…. not much.  Need to work on that!  
7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first?
Yes.  But he usually watches me, and then goes off himself and I watch him… like that better.  


8 – Can you have multiples?

Oh yes… many many.  I can keep track through about 4-5, but after that my mind lapses…. yum.
9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm?
I usually take a long time… run through a big long fantasy in my head, then let loose at the end!  When I have some help from Philip, it goes more quickly.


10 – Have you ever faked one?
All my life until I was 34.  But I didn’t know how to have a real one!
Not since then, though.  
How to join in the fun:
1) Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog,
2) answer the questions, then
3) link to and leave a comment at tmituesdayblog!
Happy TMI Tuesday!


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Sassy Answers: Cutesy Names

Here’s another fascinating edition of “Sassy Answers” where I answer a question from one of my sweet readers instead of brightening Philip’s day.

With the advent of Kat’s Blog Chain Fun and blogging about Sassy’s Past, I have acquired a bunch of new readers!  Yay!  Sassy waves from Boston!  And these folks have questions.  Some very intimate questions.  But I will answer anyway!

Q.  Do you have cutesy pet names you call Philip in bed?

A.  No.

Honest!  I know a lot of folks use baby or honey or sweetie or snookems but I couldn’t find one that fit.  You may note in the early days of corresponding, I tried various pet names for him.  I tossed all sorts of adjectives and nouns into my messages – honey, sweetie, sugar, tiger, dear, darling… but the only one that stuck was kid.  Because I make him feel like a kid again.  And sometimes sweet man… because he is sweet, in so many ways!  You have to read along to see what he calls me.  But we don’t use anything in…the heat of the moment.  I break Christine Lavin’s cardinal rule and call him by his name!

So… fair is fair… tell me what you use as a special name for your dearest affair partner or wife or lover? Maybe I will find a new one that will work!

-S

Don’t Ever Call Your Sweetheart By His Name
Words and Music by Christine Lavin/Flip-A-Jig 
from the album Future Fossils 
Copyright 1986

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFzWtI6ySsU
song begins at 1:15

To look at me, you may not think that I’m a Femme fatale,
But I’ve got more boyfriends than I can count, you know I don’t mean pals
Well, there’s Andrew, Barney, Charlie, Dan, and Ed – to note a few.
I used to get their names mixed up, but now here’s what I do

I call them
Sweetheart, Babylove,
Angle face, Turtledove,
Honey pie, Sugar lamb,
Huggy bear, Lover man
To avoid any possible embarrassment or blame,
I never call my sweetheart by his name.

My girlfriend, Marcia’s quite a dish
She meets boys by the dozens,
She knows all the New York Jets,
Their brothers and their cousins
And each one thinks he is the one that she is crazy ’bout,
‘Cause at the crucial moment she’s been know to holler out

Ooooh
Sweetheart, Babylove,
Angle face, Turtledove,
Honey pie, Sugar lips,
Macho man, Motor hips
To avoid any possible embarrassment or blame,
She never calls her sweetheart by his name.

Some people think this is dishonest (no, no, no, no, no)
Some people think this isn’t right
But have you ever said “I love you, Thomas”
When Thomas was the boy you were in love with last night. (uh-oh)

Next time your sweetie calls you “Dear”
Maybe you should wonder,
Are they just trying to avoid a social blunder.
I’m not trying to make trouble, monogamy is grand,
But if it’s not your style better follow my plan

And call him
Sweeheart, Babylove
Angle face, Turtledove,
Honey pie, Sugar lamb,
Lover boy, Superman

Avoid any possible embarrassment or blame
Don’t ever call your sweetheart by his name.

Don’t ever call your sweetheart
(No never call you sweetheart)
Don’t ever call your sweetheart by his name.

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Sassy Answers: How Much Is Enough?

Here’s another wonderful edition of “Sassy Answers” where I try to answer a question from one of my sweet readers instead of brightening Phil’s day.  We have a real doozy for you today!

Q.  How much sex is enough?

A.  I don’t know but I would like to find out!

This is a very tricky question.  And I don’t know the answer.

I had sex nine times in a weekend with a boyfriend in college and still felt ready for more!  Phil and I had 39 hours together the first time we reconnected and I definitely wished I had woken him up in the middle of the night more than I did.

On the other hand, I went without it for over 10 years and only missed it a couple of times a year.  It is only recently, since Phil showed me how much fun it can be, that I am aching so badly.  I dream of a day when my fairy tale comes true – Phil leaves his wife and asks me to come to him and we live sexily ever after!  But we know those things don’t really happen.

Many people can’t believe that I subsist on having sex with Phil so infrequently.  I point out that it is way more than I had before I met him!  And we are in contact almost every day and have sexy chats, as you can see here.  Sure, I’d like to have sex more often, but…

Several people suggest that I work on a local option.  I am mostly a “one man woman” so that doesn’t feel right to me.  They say I should look for “Mr. Right Now” while I am waiting to see “Mr. Right” again.  Problem is, there is no “Mr. Interested!”  They tell me to put myself out there.   It’s not like I am turning down local offers.  Literally no one in my real life has ever flirted, much less asked me out.  I’ve already explained why I don’t do online dating.  But I will keep looking!

How often do you think you would have to have sex before it was “enough?”  Once a day and twice on Sundays?  Once a week?   Once a month?  I know it varies a lot, and is often a major subject of tension in marriages.  Several people I know are keeping a wife and a girlfriend happy, and still have time to brighten my life with a flirty email or sexy phone call!  Bless them.

So speak up!  How much sex is enough?  Is there such a thing?  Have you ever had enough sex?

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Sassy Answers: TMI Tuesday

Hiya Readers!  It’s time once again for an amazing edition of Sassy Answers, where I type for  you instead of Philip!  
There are a lot of fun memes bloggers use to get to know each other and give you new insights into their personalities.   There’s the sadly missed Half-Nekkid Thursdays, holiday cookie recipes, Friday Flash Fiction, and today’s TMI Tuesday!  I usually can’t come up with answers, but today it’s about RESTAURANTS and FOOD so you know I am all over that!  If you’ve been reading along, you probably could answer for me. 
Q. You are having dinner at the best restaurant you can imagine. Do not concern yourself with over-eating, or other restrictions. We want to know what you like best. What will you have for:
1. Before dinner wine, aperitif, or cocktail?   
Iced tea please.  With two Splenda.  And lots of water.
2: Appetizer?
A seafood scallion pancake and a couple pieces of unagi (eel) sushi from All Seasons Table in Malden 
3. Soup?
Suan la chow show (Chinese wontons with spicy sesame ginger soy sauce and bean sprouts) from Mary Chung’s in Cambridge


If I’m not there, then tom kar gui (Thai chicken coconut soup) or the clam chowder from Legal Sea Foods or a cheesy French Onion Soup!  
4. Salad?
Caprese – lush fresh tomatoes and buffalo mozzarella cheese with sprigs of basil, EVO and balsamic vinegar – from La Famiglia Giorgio in the North End 

5. Wine or other beverage with dinner?


More iced tea please!  And more water.

6. Entree?
LOBSTER!  The best version I ever had was at a special private dinner at the Boston Harbor Hotel at Rowes Wharf.  Someone else had steamed it, taken the meat out of the shell and displayed it on the plate in the same shape, with a ramekin of butter.  Simple and delicious!  
7. Side Dishes?
Garlic mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, spinach souffle 

8. Dessert?

Moist chocolate cake with raspberry jam between the layers and a big glass of skim milk 

9. After dinner drink? 


No thanks.  But see below.  😉


10. Which 3 people would you invite to dinner: (must be famous, well-known, living or dead, not fictional)
– For sex appeal
It is so tempting to name a certain super sexy blogger buddy I’ve been yearning to meet… but if I only name one I’d be in soooo much trouble.  So I’ll go with Hugh Jackman… gotta love a man who acts, sings, dances, has an Australian accent and is very easy on the eyes!  Maybe I could have him for my after dinner drink? 

– For great conversation
Jonathan Carroll 
– Because you detest them
I have to break the rules somewhere so I will do it on this last question.  I don’t want to give publicity to the people who make my blood boil.  But maybe if they came to dinner we could learn something?  For a greater insight into my detestations, let’s ask the person who abandoned my dear departed kitty cat to have her kittens alone in the city.   
Bonus: Your lover brings you breakfast in bed. What’s on the tray?
BACON!  With a single fried egg sunny side up on top of a piece of toast, with an English muffin on the side and a big glass of Orange Juice.  
If it’s a holiday, a lobster omelette would wake me up right!  
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Pop over to the tmituesdayblog to see other bloggers answers! 
Happy TMI Tuesday!
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Sassy Answers: Reunion

Hi, Readers!  It’s time for another exciting post with some Sassy Answers!  I can’t believe this topic just came up, but better late than never.

Q.  Have you been to your high school reunion?  

A.  Yes!  Twice!

Whenever I mention old flames and reconnections, most people say the words
“High School Reunion”
to me in the next couple of sentences.  I’ve heard all sorts of stories about

– why they never went,
– what happened when they went,
– what they wish happened or
– how their wife watches them like a hawk at such events.

It amazes me the angst and the volume of fantasies the revolve around this one dinner dance!

I’ve attended two reunions – my 10th alone and my 20th with my husband.  My class can’t get it together to do another one.  Both times, I had a fun time with a bunch of adults who bore little resemblance to the teenagers I went to school with.  People were very excited to see me, because they stayed in my home town and see each other all the time, and I moved away.  I had two chances to see people each time – a dinner dance on a Saturday night, then a picnic in the local park the next day with their children.  Both were interesting, but the conversations seemed better in the park.  And seeing all the little blond children my very dark Italian classmates created made me wonder what the Fed Ex delivery man looks like!  By some odd coincidence, I never dated anyone in my year at school.  My old flames were older or younger, so I didn’t run into any of them.  It was great to see my BFF who flew in from the West Coast, and I was mildly interested in what folks grew up to do, but had very little angst or possibility for fantasies.

At my 10th reunion, there was a tall, blond and handsome classmate I remembered from drama club.  I had a lovely time talking to his wife and felt him watching me more intently than the other gentlemen.  I went out to my car to get some air and he found me there about three minutes later.

“Wow… nice to get a break from the noise and the heat in there, hunh?” he asked.

“Yes… I needed a few minutes away,” I replied, leaning on the side of my car.

“Are you staying at the hotel?” he asked, leaning against my car beside me.

“No… at my folks new place on the other side of the city,” I explained.

I looked up at the stars and when I looked back, he was staring at me.

“You look just the way I remember…,” he mused.

“Thanks.  You look better, with longer hair,” I ventured.  His father had insisted on shaving his son’s head regularly.  His hair was not long, but it was well within the normal range now.  He ran his hand through it and chuckled.  I longed to do the same, but looked away.

“You were the one person I hoped to see tonight,” he admitted.

“Really?  That’s sweet,” I answered, starting to wonder where this was leading.

“Yeah… I.. um… was trying to figure out why we never dated in high school,” he whispered.

“Because you didn’t ask me?” I suggested.  He chuckled.

“Yes… I should have.  I wanted to…” he admitted.  He turned quickly, staring into my eyes.

“I want a kiss now… may I?” he asked quite formally.

“It’s not a good idea,” I replied.

“But you want to anyway?” he asked, too right.  He put his hand on my face and leaned in to kiss me.  I reveled in his breath on my lips and then his lips were on mine and I was lost in his taste, our dueling tongues. I wrapped my arms around him and grabbed at his muscular back.  

“Todd? Are you out here?” We heard shouted from the doorway of the restaurant.  It was his wife.  He hugged me, kissed me on the forehead and strolled back to meet her, taking her arm and murmuring something as they went back inside.

I slumped against my car, my fingers running over my lips.

I got a nice post card the following October, written by his wife, from their trip to DisneyWorld and an annual Christmas card.

No… he doesn’t have a Facebook account!  Should I friend his wife?

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Sassy Answers: 7 Steps to Sex

It’s time once again for another exciting version of “Sassy Answers” – those crazy posts when I get to talk to you, dear readers, rather than Phil!

Q.  Which medium of communication do you like best?

A.  FACE TO FACE!

Oh… you meant something else… hmm….

Q. Do you like email?  Texting?  Chat?  Or the phone?  IRC chat? Skype?

A. It depends!

This entire blog is about how Phil and I use all the different media to stay in touch.  If you start reading at “The Start” you will see us go from a note on Classmates.com through all the various ways there are to communicate except smoke signals!  I’m not sure why, but Phil gets really sexy in FB chat, so that has become my favorite!  Call it cyber sex or crazy, but that is where he makes me feel the most alive.  And I can do it at home or at work without anyone around being any the wiser! And I can keep them to read over later, so that beats the phone or Skype, even though I adore listening to his manly voice or seeing his beautiful face (and other body parts… ahem).

Sassy gets to communicate with a lot of people.  Yay!  I hear from people who are reconnecting with old flames online.  Or people meeting people through dating sites.   And a lot of people connect with Sassy!  I adore a good story, and am often on the edge of my seat waiting to hear about the next step in someone’s walk toward a new relationship.  I am a sucker for “first kiss” stories, and scour the blogs for those! I am constantly aware of all the various ways to communicate and the advantages of each method!

It’s fascinating to go from that first pithy blog comment or exciting initial brief contact to a hug or more, and see how different people get there.  It varies a lot, of course, especially depending on how close they are geographically, their personal style, how tech-savvy they are, and how much they’re trying to hide from their spouse.

There’s a famous quote by Marshall McCuwen “The medium is the message.”  It’s too deep for Sassy but I bet you can figure it out… something about the method you use to communicate imparts more than the actual content?

But there gets to be a pattern, that goes something like this:

Step 1 – Opening salvo – Facebook?  Classmates.Com? A comment on this blog? IRC Chat?  Keep it brief but enticing.  Ask simple questions they can answer.

Step 2 – First foray – tentative email reply or Facebook message (for re-connecters), then more messages.  Private chat in IRC?

If things go well, this is the step that requires trust to give out the email/IM info or Facebook friending for re-connecters? … be careful of the trail you leave after this… it’s a big step:

Step 3 – Real time – online chat in FB? Yahoo? GChat?  I prefer GChat but have an account on all three!  The real-time back and forth is lovely, especially on sexier topics.

Step 4 -Texting (sexting?)  I hate typing on my phone, and the character limit, but the photos are fun!

It takes a lot to get Sassy past this point…

Step 5 – Live voice – hearing the sultry Sassy voice (using Google Voice to protect my phone number)

Step 6 – Face time – Video chat “Skyping” (non-local) – this takes A LOT of privacy and trust… not my preference
   
Local Step 6 – meeting for coffee or a meal
   
Step 7 – meeting for more?  Oh my…

What’s your favorite method of communicating?  Why?

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Sassy Answers: Craigslist

Dear Readers,

I hope all 19 of you are having a lovely weekend!  I had a little quiet time so I am answering another of the burning questions I get from folks.  A huge thank you for asking!

Q.  Have you ever used a dating site?  Craigslist?  OK Cupid?  Ashley Madison?  Plenty of Fish?  Fetlife?

A.  No.

Well, that doesn’t make for a long enough post, does it?

Really… I have enough going on with Phil!

But I am tempted to try to find someone who can see me more often, so while I am sitting home on a Saturday, I decided to take a look at Craigslist, the site that’s the easiest to check out because you don’t have to set up a profile or answer any questions.  I’ve heard that the ads are creepy and the photos worse, but what the heck!

So I go to the web site, click on personals.  I am fascinated by the categories: strictly platonic, misc romance, casual encounters, missed connections, rants and raves.  I’ll have to check those out another time.  So I click on “men seeking women.”  There’s a legal disclaimer, the adult content warning and the safe sex warning etc. but I go ahead to the ads undaunted.

I scroll down… oh – people put their ages!  How interesting, since age doesn’t mean a lot,  but whatever.  and their location – fascinating!  I’m surprised by the number of guys in their 20s.  Then there are the abbreviations.  I dig deep into my past and translate SWM seeking FWB etc.

I scroll through the ads:

1)  Offers 

 Ticket offers – that’s a good angle – offer premium Red Sox seats or a sold-out concert!
 Dancing partner, riding partner, hiking partner, sailing or skiing partner
 Dinner and a movie
 Shoot pool, play darts, get a beer
 Kisses and Cash!

2) Wants 

a Spanish woman
an Asian woman
a sexy cougar
a smart busty woman
special submissive
slim
or a polyamorous atheist nudist (oh my!)

3) Describers

stud
Italian stallion
teddy bear
tall
nice
professional
a professor!

I click on a few ads and find one with wording right out of a certain blog I used to read…dawg!  It is oddly compelling… ah, R.D. I miss you so!   Most of the text is fine.  Just a few lines that makes me want to write back.  MUST NOT WRITE BACK!

I am surprised by the photos.  They are LOVELY!  I heard horror stories of cock shots and ugly bodies, but there are some very handsome men in nice clothes!  Wow!  This is fun!  I want to meet.. NO NO NO.

Then I see an acronym I don’t know.  BBW.  What is that?  The ad says “any woman EXCEPT BBWs.”  Can I google that?  Oh yes… there’s even a wikipedia page!  It stands for “Big Beautiful Woman.”  Hunh.  There are those words – overweight, fat, chubby, obese…but some of the kinder ones: plus-sized, full-figured, voluptuous, Rubenesque and even my favorite – ZAFTIG!  That’s me!  And that’s the word that has sent not one but three completely literate blogger gentlemen running for Google define after I used it!  HA!

So this fellow who is, excuse me, desperate enough to advertise for a date, does not want to meet me.  Okay… he’s just one guy.  And if he doesn’t want to meet me, thank goodness he said so upfront.  BBWs seem to be the one thing men feel comfortable saying they don’t want.  Ugh.  Little does he know the amazing emails, chats, texts, phone calls, kisses, blow jobs and HOT SEX he is missing.  Not to mention a nice woman who might care for him as no other woman has.  Grrrr…..

I take a deep breath and start clicking on more ads.  But it is too late… all I see is slim, skinny, small, petite, little… I am not what men think they want.  I don’t want to disappoint them with a photo or in person.  They’d probably say they have a chubby wife – they deserve something better.  You know the saying, “You settle in your marriage… don’t settle in your EMR*!”  I understand that.  I can’t ask them to look beyond my curvy shape, even though I know I could charm them and satisfy them.  And men who know me tell me to stop worrying about my looks.

Now I remember why I am not on any of the dating sites.  Thank goodness Phil likes this BBW!  I will go back to heating up old flames!  HA!

Best of luck to you Craigslist Dudes!

*Extra-marital relations

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Sassy Answers: Unique Blog Posts

Dear Readers!

It’s time to dip into my email inbox and pull out a question to answer!  So sit back, relax and read another scintillating post in the series of “Sassy Answers!”

Q.  What blog posts stick in your mind as “different and special?”

A.  Oooh… I am so glad you asked this question!

I read so many amazing posts!  Every now and then, I run across a unique post and I want to share it!  But I can’t share them with most people.  It’s tricky, being that the subject matter is SEX!  But I know you want to read about that… right?

Here are yummy and different stories I’ve found:

Wrong Number, Right Man
from Kat of Prowling with Kat- 3 parts
http://shackledkat.blogspot.com/2011/02/wrong-number-right-man-part-1-naughty.html?zx=8aa8ceb824c275e

Voyeur ISO
from Max of Thoughts of a Mystic Satyr – 3 parts
http://mystic-satyr.blogspot.com/2010/08/voyeur-iso.html

The Masterpiece
from Naughty Kitty of My Secret Life – 2 parts
http://thesecretlifeofnaughtykitty.blogspot.com/2012/01/masterpiece.html

I’ll Pay the $10 Fine
from Luna Moon at Confessions of an Adulteress
http://lunamoon534.blogspot.com/2012/01/ill-pay-10-fine.html

The Office Visit
from W at Internal Pathways to Contention
http://internalpathways.blogspot.com/2010/10/office-visit.html

Sunday Sacrilege – I’m not the only one
from Advizor54 at Free Advice is worth what you pay for it
http://advizortoall.blogspot.com/2012/02/sunday-sacrilege-im-not-only-one.html

A Very Personal Protest
from Dick at Dick-n-Jane.com
http://www.dick-n-jane.com/2012/04/very-personal-protest.html

I can’t send you to read the best posts ever, from the annals of the fabulous Riff Dog, so I will send you to this insightful ode:

The Day the Music Died
from Ryan at The Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad
http://regularguygonebad.blogspot.com/2012/02/day-music-died.html

Finally, the hottest post I’ve ever read.  It has eight parts that you have to dig for, but here is the start:

Friendship: The Ins and Outs: Part I & II
from bhp at Both Hands Please
http://bothhandsplease.blogspot.com/2011/11/friendship-ins-and-outs-i-have-not-long.html

If you have a favorite, either from your blog or someone else’s, give me a pointer!  I am always looking for another sexy blog to read!

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Sassy Answers: Fake Me

Dear Readers,

With Phil not writing to me very much, I have time to think about other things, like your questions!  So it’s time for another post from the Sassy Answers pile!

Q.  Which celebrity do you look most like?  

A.  No one.  

Sassy is unique!  Really! I’ve looked all over the internet, asked my Hubby, my sister, my friends… no one can think of anyone I look like.  People that look like me don’t tend to get famous.

Since this post is too short, I will seque over into which celebrity I’d like to look like!

I was whining to a friend that my looks don’t match my sexy brain or voice.  I can’t change my looks much right now, as I can’t dye my post-chemo hair until it grows out a bit, I’ve never done any of the girlie stuff like make-up, and I am slowly getting skinnier but no one will be able to tell for months.  My friends asked, “You know, you’re never going to meet any of these people you know online, so why don’t you send them someone else’s photo?”  I have thought a lot about that.  Even if it might enhance their fantasies, there are three problems with it.

– First, I may indeed meet people I know online.
– Second, I am an honest person.  (Don’t laugh!)
– And finally, I am what I am.  Like it or no fabulous kisses or blow job, fella!

And it is considered a huge no-no online.  Be yourself they say!

But in thinking it over, I got as far as choosing someone I’d like to be: Andie MacDowell.  I looked like her is some ways as a young woman – tall, long dark hair, nice tits.  You may remember her from “Groundhog Day,” but I adored her sweet self in “Four Weddings and Funeral,” or “Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes” and her metamorphosis in “Sex, Lies and Videotape.”  I also admire the way she has aged so gracefully and the way her life is set up – with a “normal life” hidden away and only a few sojourns a year to an awards show, a make-up shoot or a movie set.

So for your viewing pleasure, here are some stills and a video of the gorgeous Andie.

Who do you resemble?  or wish you did?

-Sassy

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Sassy Answers: EMR standards

Dear sweet readers,

It’s time once again for an exciting post in the amazing series of “Sassy Answers” when I try to answer a burning question from one of you!  Except there’s a problem… I don’t know the answer!  But I am going to let that stop me?  NO!  I’ll blather on for a bit and then you can add your two cents!

Q.  When looking for someone to fool around with (big term is Extra-Marital Relations) do you raise or lower your standards?  

A.  It depends. 

(Don’t you love it when I am so clear?!)

I know that no one understands the laws of attraction… but I’ve heard two schools of thought on searching for that special someone for a night or a month or a while.  Do you only go for the ones that match your ideal?  Or do you broaden out, take chances, check out a wider range of choices?

a. Raise your standards

The conventional wisdom is… don’t settle.  Decide what you want and go for it.  You probably have to do a lot of compromising at home and deal with a spouse who is not a super model, so when you go out prowling, go for the gusto!  Find that person with the big shoulders or perfect tits or the hair color of your dreams!  The dating sites encourage this, letting you categorize people by age or hair color or height or weight.  In my humble opinion, none of those factors will guarantee you a fabulous affair but whatever – get what you want this time!  And it won’t last, so if it doesn’t work, you can try something else next time!  You deserve it!

I was astonished by a man who told me, “I only date women who are at least 6 inches shorter than I am, weigh between 110-120 pounds, blonde, my race, my religion, like my music and dance well and can meet during the day at least once a week.”  Wow.   There’s a guy with standards!  My devilish side wishes he’d fall for a dark-haired amazon and discover she gives the best blow job he’s ever had, but that’s just the way I am.  I know men are very visual creatures and if that’s what it takes to turn you on, more power to ya.  Whatever makes you burn, go for it!

b. Lower your standards 

This probably should be widen your standards…. but speaking of not lasting, several people have told me it doesn’t matter what the person looks like, or how old they are or how much they weigh.  You aren’t going to be seen in public with them or stay with them forever, so the usual standards don’t matter.  And some people find super-attractive people intimidating, and don’t want to get into the competition.  There is something interesting and sexy about each person you meet, and it’s fun to find out, so go for it.  There are some people you just can’t get into, but that is rare.  So go ahead and meet them.  Kiss her!  He may not look like George Clooney, but he may be the best kisser you’ve ever kissed.  Or she may not be Selma Hayek, but have the most incredible hands ever to touch your private parts and a gorgeous voice that whispers the dirtiest secrets in your ear.  And suddenly, they look a whole lot better!

As I look back over the men I’ve been with, there is no pattern.  They are short, tall, skinny, fat, red-haired, blonde, dark and bald!  Much older, much younger… even some my own age!  White, black, Asian… and often the more unlike my ideal they were, the more sexy and special they turned out to be!

This is the route I hope you will follow, because, believe it or not, Sassy is not a super model!  She is the woman who hides in plain sight, that no one notices.  No man ever looks twice at me.  And if I sent you a photo, you’d probably run screaming from the gray-haired curvy older lady.  Phil had no idea what I looked like before we met (other than my tits).  But if you take a chance?  Ooh la la… I am happy with Phil,  who, bless him, believes that attitude is more important than how I look.  I’m not on the prowl, but there are a lot of us out here – lonely, passionate women who will rock your world if you take a chance.

So what’s your theory?  Do you have an ideal?  Were your best EMRs with people who fit your ideal?