Sassy Answers: Between Saying and Doing

Dear Readers, 
Here’s a question I’ve gotten from several of you lately:
Q.  Why do men say they’re going to do something and then they don’t?  
A.  I don’t know!  I’m hoping you can tell me! 
I saw this proverb on Jonathan Carroll’s Facebook page this morning and it perfectly sums up an issue that I’ve been thinking about a lot and meaning to blog about. 
Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out. 
Italian Proverb
You may have noticed in my communications that men often say things that don’t happen.  I was really flummoxed by this when it started happening.  He’d say, “We should meet next week!  I’ll call you to talk about the details.  It will be so fun!” And then I don’t hear from him for three weeks.  Or he talks  about visiting me in Boston – where we’d eat, what we’d do behind closed doors.  Sometimes he even talks about a trip he’s planning and how I should meet him and we’d play!  Wow!  That would be something!  Even in small ways… local guys say they will take me out to eat and when I get in the car?  Somehow kissing and other stuff turn out to be more important and it turns out they made a hotel reservation and it’s all good except I am STARVING.  I bring cereal bars now,  just in case! 
I used to get my hopes up, start planning and fantasizing and… it didn’t happen.  ARRRGH!  For awhile, it felt like they were chasing and the moment I said yes, that was it.  No need to follow through. 
Now I know that it’s “a thing.”  Men dream and ask questions to see what’s possible.  “Could you fly out to see me?”  They don’t mean it.  And that’s fine.  Now I know that it’s just dreaming.   It’s good to make clear what I can do or can’t do.  I don’t take it seriously anymore.  I don’t believe them until they are here in my arms with their cock in my mouth!

I also know that it is rarely about me.  Life happens.  They get a new project at work, or a sick child or their grandmother dies or they get caught and re-focus on their marriage and I am no longer a priority.  As it should be.   Or maybe they mean it at that moment and then start thinking of the logistics and it really is not possible.  I get it now. 
So I relax.  I play along.  Maybe I still fantasize a little… and every now and then, dreams do come true!  

Sassy Answers: Top Posts of 2013

Hello Dear Readers! 
It’s time for a quick trip “behind the curtain” into the “backstage” of my blog.  I like to take a look now and then, see what’s going on.  So I popped over to the Blogger page that keeps track of hits by post and so forth.  They let me look at the past two hours, the past 24 hours, the past week and month, and then the all-time stats!  I can see top posts, top referring blogs, pageviews by country, even pageviews by browser (Safari wins) or operating system (No surprise – Windows)!  I am sharing some of the stats with you today!  
As of this moment, I’ve had 89,080 hits.  Wowzers!  It blows my mind that so many folks click around my scribbling, and come back for more.  Most of the time it seems like there are about 12 people reading, which is great!  But it looks like there are a few more, maybe a lot more, who visit and go away with my thoughts and sexy video or photo or something.  
So let’s peek at the Top 10 Posts.  Yes, yes… sex is still THE THING.  I was so pleased that a lot of folks have gone back to the beginning and read forward.  My posts make ever so much more sense that way.  I find it interesting that the tale of my first sexual experience is high up on the list, and that some of my favorites are on there, but some aren’t.   There are meme posts, some classic posts about Philip, and even my fiction gets a lot of looks!  
For comparison, you can go back a year and see what 2012 looked like.  

Top 10 Posts

Entry Pageviews
Dec 3, 2011
415
386
Apr 10, 2013, 1 comment
242
222
May 5, 2012
209
Jan 4, 2012
172
Nov 10, 2012, 1 comment
169
Jan 9, 2012, 1 comment
166
Jan 24, 2012, 3 comments
164
Apr 16, 2012, 1 comment
141
While I was over at Blogger, I looked at pageviews by Country.  Fascinating!  I’ve also seen hits from Brazil, Egypt, Finland, Greece, Saudia Arabia, Turkey…even Papua New Guinea!  That brings in people from six continents!  It boggles my mind.  Do people in Antactica read sexy blogs?  Hmmm…   I still ponder who my far away readers are… not names, but are they natives of that country?  USA ex-pats? Military stationed overseas?  How do they find me?  Feel free to comment or email me and tell me the answers about you.  

Pageviews by Countries

Graph of most popular countries among blog viewers
Entry Pageviews
United States
66646
Canada
4107
Russia
3748
Australia
2280
United Kingdom
2179
Germany
820
Netherlands
508
India
506
Singapore
479
Malaysia
324

Thanks for reading, wherever you live or work, and whatever posts you like.  Even you Windows users!  ðŸ™‚  It’s wonderful to know my wacky adventures are worth a click.  Stay tuned for more in 2014!  

-Sassy

Sassy Answers – Sassy Sleepwear

Dear Readers, 
It’s time once again to to take a break from Phillip and SassyLand for another strange and wonderful edition of Sassy Answers, where I answer a question from one of you!  
Q.  What do you wear to bed? 
A.  A big old nightshirt and panties.  
This is a question I get asked a lot!  I know you’re expecting me to sleep au natural.  Or perhaps in some skimpy, silky, sexy thing with spaghetti straps from a French designer.  
You’ve already seen my panties (pink and blue!), but today I’m showing off my favorite nightshirt!  I adore dark blue.  I’m not usually one for busy patterns, but there is something about this design with the stars, moons and swirls that perks me up every time I wear it.  The colors have faded a lot so it’s less startling.  It’s not particularly sexy, but comfortable and functional cotton.  
Left to my own devices, and if I didn’t live with Hubby, I’d sleep in the nude.  However, he is a prude who asked me to limit his views of naked women (or maybe it’s just me?) on a regular basis, so I started covering up soon after he moved in.    
So if you imagine crawling into bed with me or talking to me on my computer when I haven’t gotten dressed yet or am getting ready for bed, chances are that I’ll be wearing this little demure number.  
Now be a good doobie and tell me what you sleep in?
-Sassy

Sassy Answers: Radio

Dear Readers: 
It’s time to take a break from Phillip and SassyLand for another strange and wonderful edition of Sassy Answers, where I answer a question from one of you!  
Actually, a lot of people ask me what kind of music I listen to.  I like many kinds of music, from classical masters, up through Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue,” on through popular music from the 40’s on up!  My CD collection includes folk, country, rock, classical, jazz, blues… I’ve never understood genres much.  I adore music I can sing along with!  
Q.  What do you listen to when you’re driving your car? 
A.  Good question!  There are a lot of different things that strike my fancy.  I’m old-fashioned in that I still listen to the radio.  
1) News 
Day-to-day I am not in my car very much as I have a short commute.  I usually listen to the news, traffic and weather on Boston’s news station, WBZ Radio 1030 AM.  You can listen to it live-streaming wherever you are by going to http://betaplayer.radio.com/player/wbz-newsradio-1030
2) Sox
I also listen to Red Sox games on WEEI 93.7 FM.  Oddly, they can’t stream it online.  Bleh.  So 20th Century! 
3) Music
Saturdays there are two great programs on a local college radio station, WERS 88.9 FM.  No commercials! You can listen live streaming at http://wers.org in FM or HD2.  
a. 10 am – 2 pm Standing Room Only – The Best of Broadway Show Tunes 
b. 2 – 5 pm All A Cappella – The Best of Collegiate and Professional A Cappella groups 
Other days, I hop around the FM dial but usually end up on WROR 105.7 FM that you can listen to at http://www.wror.com which has a nice mix of “classic hits” from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.  I often listen to that station in the shower as well.  
When we go on day trips, I dig up the folk CD’s by David Wilcox, Cheryl Wheeler or Christine Lavin. I adore singing along with those artists!  I am surprised when anyone has heard of them.  They are true songwriters who can make you laugh or cry at the foibles of life.  
I am always looking for new groups or golden oldies to broaden my listening.  Let me know your favorites! 
-Sassy 

Sassy Answers: Top Posts of 2012

Hello Readers!

It’s time for a quick trip “behind the curtain” into the “backstage” of my blog.

It’s not often that I get an idea for a blog post from another blogger, as my life is rather dull compared to most, except for a few salacious Facebook messages.  However, the amazing and talented Kat posted her Top Ten Posts of 2012.  What a great idea!

So I popped over to the Blogger page that keeps track of hits by post.  I am sharing it with you!  Yes, yes… sex is THE THING.  I was so pleased that a lot of folks have gone back to the beginning and read forward.  My posts make ever so much more sense that way.  I find it interesting that the tale of my first sexual experience takes first place, and that some of my favorites are on there, but some aren’t.

Top 10 Entries for 2012
Dec 3, 2011
Jan 4, 2012
May 5, 2012
Jan 9, 2012, 1 comment
Nov 10, 2012, 1 comment
Apr 17, 2012, 1 comment
Dec 11, 2012, 2 comments
Mar 3, 2012, 1 comment
May 11, 2012, 3 comments
While I was there, I look at pageviews by Country.  Fascinating!
I’ve also seen hits from Brazil, Egypt, Finland, Saudia Arabia, Turkey…
That brings in people from five continents!  It boggles my mind.  
I wish I knew who they are… not names, but locals?  USA ex-pats?
Military stationed overseas?  Comment!  Let me know! 

Pageviews by Countries

Graph of most popular countries among blog viewers
Entry
United States
Canada
Australia
Russia
United Kingdom
Singapore
Germany
Sweden
India
Malaysia

Sassy Answers: The Maid

Hiya!  Dear Readers, it’s time once again for a break from the Philip and Sassy journey as I delve into the email bag and pull out a question from one of you!  Today’s selection is a doozy but I will give it my best shot.

Q. What is the secret to harmony in a marriage?

A.  I am the wrong person to ask.  Although we do have harmony, if not sex!  Here are my three tips to an agreeable arrangement:

1) Two bathrooms

I despise someone knocking on the bathroom door asking when I will be done.
Hubby gets squeamish looking at the box of panty liners and creams and powders.
He does bizarre things to a tube of toothpaste and leaves his towels askew!
We are oh so lucky to have our own bathrooms!  So I don’t have to deal with any of that!

2) Two computers

We’re both online a lot, so two machines are a must!  We don’t have much to hide, but he likes his desktop littered with games and partitions and a wiggling screensaver and who knows what!  I keep it simple and my blog secret!

3) A maid

The most important thing is to pay someone else to do the big chores around the house!  I know it seems like a luxury, but I found out it is not that expensive to have someone come in once a month to scrub the bathrooms, vacuum the rugs, clean the kitchen and dust!  And it gives you a definite point every month to pick things up, get to that pile of papers you’ve meant to sort, put away that pile of laundry or clean out the fridge.  I have cut back on a lot of items but I am hanging on to the cleaners!   It is amazing the tension that is released when we don’t have to figure out whose turn it is to do all that cleaning, or split it up somehow, or pick on each other for our toilet cleaning skills!

You thought I was going to say “cheating?” HA!  Surprise!

Best of luck to all of you in your search for marital bliss!

-Sassy

Sassy Answers: What is Tumblr?

Hiya, Readers!

It’s time to take a break from Phillip and SassyLand for another strange and wonderful edition of Sassy Answers, where I answer a question from one of you!

Q.  What is Tumblr? 

A.  You never heard of Tumblr?!  Sassy talks to people all along the information superhighway and I am astonished at people who don’t know about Tumblr.  I should not be shocked because I didn’t see one until March, 2011 and I still can’t really explain it to you, but I am going to try!

If you want facts and figures, wander over to wikipedia for some huge numbers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tumblr

There are juicy ones such as:

As of August 20, 2012, Tumblr has over 69.4 million blogs and over 29.8 billion total posts. 
As of September 2011, the website receives more than 13 billion views per month. 
As of July 2010, the site receives 25,000 new users each day and 
as of July 2012, 71.6 million posts are created on the site each day. 
An analysis by AddThis of shares through their service in 2011 noted that Tumblr sharing had increased by 1299.5%.

So… usually it’s a bunch of photos.  A photo blog.  Someone picks a topic and looks around the internet for photos of it and posts them.   People re-blog them to their tumblr.  Or they “follow” a tumblr, so whatever new is posted shows up for them to see.

You can google tumblr _____ and find photos of whatever it is!  I tried Edsel and got the link to an Edsel tumblr with lots of old cars.  Then I tried donuts and got….you guessed it… photos of that round breakfast treat!  It’s like Rule 34 of the internet – if you can think of it, there is already a tumblr out there for it.  If you go to https://www.tumblr.com/ it will show you a sample.

This extends into the sexy world as well… whatever you like, whatever your kink, there’s a tumblr with a zillion photos of it.  Many bloggers who share their thoughts in words through blogger also share their favorite photos through tumblr.  Red heads?  (there are seven of them, not counting “gingers”) Being naked in public? (many many)  Cats in the middle of your porn photo?  It’s all out there.

In addition, each photo tells you where it came from, so if you want to see more with a similar theme, click over to that tumblr.  Warning – this leads to hours of clicking from here to there then on to that and way past midnight!

Finally, here are three of my sexy favorites tumblrs to get you started.

Bad Advice, Questionable Tactics” is one man’s eclectic perspective on red heads, beautiful clits, sexy people being nice to each other, dom/subs, and his neighborhood
http://advizortoall.tumblr.com/

Hot pics from Dick-n-Jane” is a married couple’s photos of themselves and other couples or gorgeous singles being very nice to each other, and they have incredible taste in tasteful, arty, erotic images.

And finally the tumblr that got me started down the road to sexy blogging
Sex is not the enemy” which shows real people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and preferences having fun naked!  It links to many tumblrs, so it’s a great place to go to see an amazing sample of what’s out there.

Did you know about them before?  Do you have a favorite or just found a fun one?  Please leave the url in a comment?   Thanks!

Enjoy!

-Sassy

Sassy Answers: How I create a sexy blog post

Hiya, Readers!

It’s time once again for a break from the Phil & Sassy train, to answer a fun question from one of you!

Q.  How do you create a blog post?  

A.  Good question!  I know it looks like I just break the cardinal rule of cheating (delete everything) and copy over old correspondence.  But quite a bit more goes into the posts you see!  Here’s a behind-the-scenes look into my grueling process.  It may be like watching sausage being made – something you’d rather not know!  If you’re the type of person who doesn’t want to know, click away now!

I usually blog about a year ago, a month at a time, a month ahead of time.  So right now I am working on December 2011.  It makes me look at the “big picture” of what was going on, spread stuff out in a nice way and keep the flow of the conversation similar to what it felt like originally, so you get a feel for what a day-by-day long-distance relationship is about.  And it keeps me from saying things because of how they’d look in the blog.  And I hope it helps with the anonymity as people might remember where I was recently but not a year ago.  I may toss in a post here and there on the fly, but for the most part, I set up posts about the past with a future posting date.

Here are the NINE STEPS I follow, aiming for about 10 posts a week:

1) Mix tape songs
     I keep a spreadsheet of the music videos I sent to Philip, with the date, youtube link and band info.  I go to the link, copy off the song title, and put that into a post, then blogger lets you pull in youtube videos.  Then I search for the lyrics, because the words were very important, copy them into an email to change them to plain text, and add them to the post.   I listen to each one and it gets me into the mood I was in at that time.  These posts always go live at 4 pm on the day of the week now corresponding to that date a year ago.  
2) Facebook messages
     I copied all the messages into a word document by day or week or month as I went along.  I change our names with the “find and replace” feature, copy the entire month into a post, then split it off into individual posts by days as I have time.  These messages post at 9 am on the day of the week now corresponding to that date a year ago.  
3) Texts
     I dutifully typed the texts and downloaded the photos off my phone and into a word document by month.  More recently, I am mixing texts and FB messages together as I save them, but in the old days, it seemed important to keep them separate.  So I use the “find and replace” feature to change the names, then copy the entire file into a post and try to weave them into the FB message posts I’ve already started. 
4) Emails
      I saved my “sent mail” folder (breaking another rule).  So I find them and weave them into with the FB messages and texts posts I’ve already started, changing the names as I go.
5) Photos
    I downloaded all the photos off my phone into a file.  The filenames contain the date they were taken, so I can easily find them and upload them to a post so you can see the food or the fauna or body parts.  Sadly, anything with a face is deleted, and anything that shows where I live or work.  And I can’t show you anything Philip sent me.  I look at each one, trying to decide if they’re anonymous enough… but so far, no.  I also show sexy photos that I sent to Philip from other sources.  
6) Livejournal
   I have a journal that my friends read, so I read the posts for the month, see if there was anything interesting I was thinking about.  Sometimes I posted a “private entry” that only I can see.  Anything mentioning Philip is locked away.  This is where my rare deep philosophical drivel ends up.  So I don’t send it to Philip!  I copy those into an email to change them to plain text and then copy them into a post here.  
7) Facebook timeline
   I browse back through my FB timeline, looking for stuff I posted to my wall because it was okay for everyone to see it, even if it was meant for Philip.  I copy it into the post with the messages and texts and photos, or make a separate post, depending on what it was.  I often put stuff on my wall that had some inside joke for him.  Many times I would post a photo and he would post a corresponding one of the same thing from his life a few minutes later – the view out my window, my dinner, my pets…sharing our lives miles away.    
8) Flll gaps with other stuff
   If there are days when Philip and Sassy were being boring, I write up a “Sassy Answers” post like this one, or something else to spice up the day.  If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask!  
   Jonathan Carroll’s Facebook page provides an amazing stream of posts which touch me every day, and every now and then I can’t resist sharing them with you. 
   Other bloggers tell amazing stories that I have to share!  Here is my current favorite from Max’s Thoughts from a Mystic Saytr: The Space Between 
   There are several weekly blog memes like “Flash Fiction Friday” or “TMI Tuesdays.”  I don’t participate often but I read them in other blogs and think about adding them when they inspire me.

   I participate in Kat’s blog chain over at “Prowling with Kat” so those posts show up on the tenth of every month.  Did you read Advizor54’s take on having sex with a politician earlier this month?  It is twisted and smoking hot!  
9) Final proofing
    At this point in the proccess, I have about 40 posts in draft format.  I check to see that they’re spaced out – never more than two a day, something every day etc.  I check to be sure they’re tagged correctly and timed correctly.  I try to spice up the blog titles.  
Finally, I do a search to check for my real name, Philip’s real name, our employers, and various other words that it would be better I don’t share!  Then I read through each post, double-checking for info that would indentify us, and any other goofs.  I try to re-word stuff if I can, then get very sad as I clip out many of the details of our lives that would make for great stories.  But I hope the Philip & Sassy shenanigans are enough… and I hit PUBLISH!  WHEE! 
I often go back the day before a post is set to go live, for one more look.  It’s kind of scary how often I find another typo or something that I didn’t want to divulge!  And I try to look at posts once they’ve gone live.  Again, I find errors, or odd characters or spacing that only crops up after they’re live.  Bleh!  
So, for anyone who has read this far, thank you!  There you have the nine tedious steps it takes to bring you our long-distance love story!  It looks like a lot of work, but it is worth it to make me remember what a wonderful story it is, to put in a plug for old flames, to hear from my readers and be part of this amazing community of sweet, sexy bloggers!

BLOG YOURSELF!  If you are not already blogging – START!  Whatever you are doing or thinking or fantasizing about, write about it!  You may not be able to tell anyone in your real life, but we are here to read and comment!  And Blogger makes it easy with lots of backgrounds and widgets and stats.

Hugs with groping to you!  

-Sassy

Sassy Answers: Oops

Welcome to another addition of the strangely popular “Sassy Answers” where I answer a question from one of my fabulous readers!

Q.  Do you ever screw up electronically?

A.  Ayup.

Many philanderers and bloggers do not want anyone to know any personal details that people usually share in the “real word” such as name, work, home, etc..   I try very hard never to share anything that would allow people to Google me.  I hear about whopping mistakes that people make that give away their identity

  • using their real email instead of a mischief account or 
  • texting or calling from their regular or work mobile phone, or 
  • commenting on a blog from their personal name server domain or
  • signing email with their real name out of habit

There are also ways to screw up such as

  • putting a hotel charge on a credit card your spouse see the bills for, 
  • staying in bed together just a few minutes past the time your kids get home from school, 
  • forgetting to delete texts or emails or IMs, or clear browser history, or 
  • attaching the wrong photo to an email. 
See my post about secret cheating to avoid many of these pitfalls. 

I have not done most of those.  By and large, I’ve learned from others, been careful or lucky.  And having a husband who is in the know lowers my risk a lot, since I don’t have to worry about forgetting to delete stuff from my computer.  But I still manage to hit the wrong button now and then, mostly out of habit. 

Here is my tally of goofs: 

1) WRONG PLACE
Posted a message about a favorite memory of visiting Red Rocks Amphitheater to Philip’s FB wall instead of a private message (he deleted it quickly).  This is the only mistake Philip ever saw.
2) WRONG PERSON- EMAIL
Emailed my gal pal a photo of Philip’s “equipment” instead of forwarding it to my email (she thought it was funny and that he is gorgeous!)
3) WRONG PERSON – TEXT
Texted Hubby instead of Philip – nothing salacious, just “how’s the party?” (he thought it was funny) 
4) WRONG PHONE NUMBER
Texted a chat room buddy from the demure lady’s phone number instead of Google Voice (he promised to delete that number?)  
5) THE WHOPPER
Posted a topless photo to Facebook instead of texting it to Philip.  Luckily, it did not include my face!
a.  Deleted the post in 2 minutes – seen by five people who have me as close friends (so FB emailed the photo to them).  All but Hubby and my sister thought my account had been hacked and wrote to tell me.  Argh!
b. Forgot that deleting a FB post doesn’t get the photo out of the FB Mobile uploads file!  Deleted it two days later when Hubby went to look at my lunch photos and texted me.  Bless him.  A mutual friend mentioned it to my sister at a party.  Who else saw it?  Argh!  
Other bloggers have trouble with Facebook as well.  Go read about Kat’s “reply all” escapade in Prowling With Kat.

When I look back at all the messages, texts and emails to Philip, various bloggers and chat room pals, it is incredible that I haven’t goofed up more!  When I did, thank goodness it didn’t contain something worse!  And that the people I am talking to are good people.  So far. 

I am trying very hard to take deep breaths, be more careful, and double check before sending anything to make sure it’s going to the intended party over the right channel.  A few extra seconds can save a lot of trouble.  Perhaps this post will get you to do the same before you mess up!

If there are other ways you’ve screwed up that you want to warn people about, comment!  Help save us from goofing up!