Category Archives: humor

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Julia’s Last F*#kable Day

July 25, 2016 Monday

6:30PM Sassy
NSFW (language) but hysterical while it’s MAKING A POINT about Hollywood’s idiotic marginalization of older women.

Inside Amy Schumer – Last F**kable Day – Uncensored

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPpsI8mWKmg&w=320&h=266]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPpsI8mWKmg
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Desserts delights

June 17, 2016  Friday
11:17AM Sassy
Been so busy contacting people, settling so many details for tomorrow’s memorial.  My brain is mush.

12:51PM Sassy
People are sending me great cat photos to make me smile.  Here’s a fun compilation!  This one reminds me of you.  ; )

http://www.top13.net/perfectly-timed-cat-pictures/

9:15PM Sassy
Had a lovely dinner with the family at my sister’s.  When the going gets tough, the tough get going on dessert!

Fruit and chocolate from Pemberton Farms, 
thanks to gracious colleagues


Beard Papa cream puffs. First time 
but won’t be the last!
Lakota Bakery Cookies
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The Wurst-Case Scenario

May 22, 2016 Sunday

6:30PM Phil
Enjoying the rain
[photo of his toes with him sitting outside]

6:32PM Sassy
Beautiful here, if a bit cool

[photo of the view from my balcony of a sunny day]

6:33PM Phil
Nice!
I’m thinking about an ark
6:34PM Sassy
Bet you didn’t have as much fun at the airport yesterday as we did.
6:35PM Phil
Nope! That’s a fact!
6:35PM Sassy
Though that bloody Mary looked yum
6:35PM Phil
It was!
6:36PM Sassy
Not as tasty as I am…
6:36PM Phil
Not much is except maybe lobster
6:37PM Sassy
Ha!
6:42PM Sassy
I’m learning my new phone… 
always a combo of fun and pain in the ass getting a new model.
6:48PM Phil
Yeah but always fun new things : ) 

6:48PM Sassy
Especially with you
6:48PM Phil
Ha! 
6:55PM Sassy
I’ll huddle with you… and let you tackle me.
7:03PM Phil
Ha!  That’s not exactly the rules and you would have to wear a football jersey from my team
7:04PM Sassy
Nah… if you’re tackling me I get to wear nothing.
Just ordered dinner delivered.  Gonna have some more nachos.
8:18PM Phil
Ha! Cool : ) 
12:28AM Sassy
You know I have to send this to you… knowing how you adore sausage

The absolute wurst
Cheezburger Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/Cheezburger/photos/a.246627515405578.57501.246619938739669/1046714835396838/?type=3&theater


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How to tell time

April 9, 2016 Saturday

11:25AM Sassy
Good morning kid!
11:32AM Phil
Good morning!
11:37AM Sassy
I’m off to H&R Block with Mom’s tax papers.
Sound familiar?  : )  

Purple Clover added a new photo.
https://www.facebook.com/purpleclvr/photos/a.375609882543951.1073741828.369508529820753/1436057369832525/?type=3&theater

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Ways To Eat Cock

April 2, 2016 Saturday
8:19AM Sassy
Good morning!  Breweries or wineries today?
11:49AM Sassy

Here’s a new cookbook I may have to get… 
12:33PM Phil
Ha!
Good morning! Doing my taxes, ugh
12:49PM Sassy
Bleh. I’m on the subway headed to the figure skating pairs final.
1:45PM Phil
Enjoy!

2:40PM Sassy
At the pairs final, wishing for the days of Russian domination and creativity…I miss the Grinkovs, Mishkutenek & Dimitriev…sigh.

3:35PM Sassy
The pairs – Duhamel and Radford from Canada made being here worth it. Wow! That’s how it’s done!

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Barn owl or apple?

March 28, 2016 Monday

9:38AM Sassy
Barn owl or apple? 🙂

10:53PM Sassy
Marvelous bouncy Calypso version of the hymn “Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee”
I adore steel drums!

http://www.jwpepper.com/sheet-music/media-player.jsp?&type=audio&productID=10187841
[2 minute audio]

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; color: #1d2129; -webkit-text-stroke: #1d2129} span.s1 {font-kerning: none}

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Kitten or ice cream?

March 26, 2016 Saturday
1:23PM Sassy
Mom is smiling in her room again!

3:20PM Sassy
Kitten or ice cream?  🙂

8:32PM Phil
You doing ok Sass?
8:34PM Sassy
Yes.  Keeping busy.
8:26PM Phil
That’s a good thing. Hang in there.
8:36PM Sassy
Playing with my silver bullet.  : ) 
8:45PM Phil
Damn that’s hot as hell 😛
8:46PM Phil
Made my cock jump to attention
8:50PM Sassy
Mmmm hmmm
 Made me cum. 🙂 
8:51PM Phil
Always a good thing
8:51PM Phil
[Snoopy licking the screen gif]

Helping you clean up [devil emoji]
8:52PM Sassy
Thank you! 
8:57PM Sassy
Something about this one
[sent him a tumblr link that doesn’t exist anymore.  Grrr…]
You home?
8:59PM Phil
Yup. I like that’s it’s real women, makes it hot
8:59PM Sassy
Oh yes
9:01PM Phil
Those are my favorites
Not photoshopped models
9:09PM Phil
[photo of his smiling face out on his balcony]
9:10PM Sassy
Aww….there’s a real man!
9:10PM Phil
An old one but real
9:11PM Sassy

[photo of me in restaurant bathroom]
Watch out – I had oysters for supper
9:11PM Phil
Well hey there!  Lot of clothes for the bullet
You good slurping down oysters
9:13PM Sassy
I did slurp!  I took what you taught me to heart
9:13PM Phil
Couldn’t help but think of you slurping down something else
😛

9:13PM Sassy

Oh!
9:14PM Sassy
I’d like that
9:14PMPhil
What can I say?
Had a hard on watching you : )
9:16PM Sassy
Right there in the airport restaurant last week?
9:16PM Phil
Uh yeah
9:16PM Sassy
Good
9:18PM Phil
Yup!
You never saw me reach down to adjust?
I really enjoyed dinner
9:19PM Sassy
No! You were subtle
I would’ve been glad to help…
9:20PM Phil
Missed opportunity
9:23PM Phil
Did get a little tongue though
9:23PM Sassy
I can’t stop thinking about that
9:24PM Phil
Good
9:31PM Phil
I have seen you naked and we have enjoyed each other so I see you naked of course. The result is a throbbing cock
9:33PM Phil
Hope that’s not offensive
9:33PM Sassy
not at all.  Glad to help out in that way.
9:35PM Phil
Mmmmm
9:42PM Sassy
You have certainly fed my imagination
9:46PM Phil
Good, think sexy thoughts like 
my hands cupping your ass at Camp, 
our lips touching by the fire, 
my cum shooting deep inside you in 2010
Yummy!
Help that bullet hit the right spots
9:49PM Sassy
Indeed!
It can be something very simple… like me stroking your thumb
10:03PM Phil
Ahh, I remember
10:18PM Sassy
The way it felt plus the look in your eyes… oh man
10:19PM Phil
I liked it
10:19PM Sassy
I’m trying to find a simple and elegant hymn to sing at my friend’s funeral
Something I do a cappella outdoors
Maybe “Steal away to Jesus”
Or “Precious Lord” or “Amazing Grace”
I feel like there is an obvious one I am missing…
10:21PM Phil
And he walks with me and he talks with me
10:21PM Sassy
In the Garden
I was looking at that…
10:22PM Phil
Yes
10:22PM Sassy
Thanks!
10:22PM Phil
I like that one

10:22PM Sassy
I’ll suggest a few to the minister, see what she thinks
I looked up Good Hymns for funerals… a lot of them make me cringe
10:23PM Phil
Just a closer walk with thee
10:26PM Sassy
Not sure I could make it through the last verse of that one
Maybe “How Great Thou Art”
Though that’s tough a cappella
Thank you… sorry for the tangent
10:31PM Phil
Elvis did How Great Thou Art so well.
I think it’s easy to do a cappella, so pretty
10:31PM Sassy
You have that magic voice… smooth as silk
10:32PM Phil
I’m always happy to talk gyms or music
10:32PM Sassy
I used to sit in church and swoon when you sang a solo
Gyms?
10:32PM Phil
Hymns, damn auto correct
10:32PM Sassy
Hee hee
10:33PM Phil
Sang a lot at my last place
10:33PM Sassy
There was that one time at the gym where your spotter got an eyeful when you opened a message from me with a racy photo 
10:33PM Phil
Ha!
10:34PM Phil
Just finished riding the bike,  love working up a sweat
10:40PM Sassy
mmmm
10:43PM Phil
Nothing like working up a sweat fucking, both people working it, slick with sweat, it’s hot
10:53PM Sassy
Mmmm hmmmm
10:56PM Phil
When you lay back both gasping for air, soaking wet, going holy fuck baby that was incredible, that’s amazing stuff
11:07PM Sassy
Oof… you typing that does things to my insides.
11:15PM Phil
; )
Off to bed for me, sunrise service is early. Nite!
Happy Easter!
11:17PM Sassy
Sleep well dear man.


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An invitation

March 15, 2016 Tuesday

5:42AM Phil
Good morning! Off to the races. Have a terrific day!
7:35AM Sassy
Good morning kid! stay high and dry.

7:44AM Sassy
Here’s another link with 8 “this or that” meme.  
My favorite is the “Parrot or guacamole?”


11:12AM Phil
This weather sucks!  I have evening time and have some extra time in Boston Friday before flying out so perhaps some chowda or lobsta if we can make it work. Our schedule pretty much sucks
11:57AM Sassy
I keep thinking… At least it’s not snow!  

Friday sounds fantastic!. Please give me an estimated time when you can so I can plan with Hubby to get the car etc.  I can take off work or meet you after… so excited to see you!  I know a spot with 50 cent oysters.  : ) 
Or any evening… whatever works for you.  I could pop up and meet you for dinner.
12:02PM Phil
I have zero transportation so outside of cab range I’m stuck.  Have an 8 o’clock flight but we will leave here around 2 so leaves a couple hours at least. What ever works best
12:15PM Sassy
I can pick you up, whatever works.
Are you in a hotel or behind the gate?
Or I could get you at Logan?
12:32PM Phil
We stay on the base. We will likely try to find someplace to park downtown before we head to the airport. Don’t know if there is food closer to the airport or not. I have yet to have a Lobster. Had fried stuff last night, did not like it. They do lobster night at the club on base Thursday so we are all planning to do that.
12:45PM Sassy
So not tonight or tomorrow down there?  If Friday, around 3ish or later?  You could ping when you leave the base and get to Boston and ditch them?  Sorry for all the questions…just trying to figure out how to make it easiest for you.  
4:23PM Phil
I have no plans for tomorrow but am trying to make this easy. It’s a hoof up here and back. Wed is the only evening I have available and we generally knock off about sixish so up to you. We can grab a bite in Boston Friday or maybe something tomorrow but that involves a lot of driving for you
4:45PM Sassy
Thanks kid.  Here’s my theory.  It’s not that far, and driving down tomorrow would get us more time?  I can get a reservation for 6:30 or 7 pm, have nice lobster.  and if you like, I’ll get a room at that Holiday Inn for dessert.  Does that sound good?  Tell me where to pick you up?  or get yourself to the hotel?

8:28PM Phil
Finally done : (

I am just pooped and I have another couple hours of reading to do. We are gonna be just as late tomorrow. I would just fall asleep in my lobster tonight, my brain hurts. 
8:32PM Sassy
Awww…so sorry to hear that.

8:45PM Phil
Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s hard, way too much to do here but no reason we can’t grab a bite and spend some time Friday!  After 14 hours I just don’t have much left. Guess I’m getting old.
Our boss is on a toot being a pain in everyone’s ass
8:50PM Sassy
Seems like as a civilian, you could be 8 hrs and out
No chance you can beg off to see an old friend you haven’t seen in 4.5 years?
9:02 PM Sassy
Good thing you don’t need the Metro tomorrow

9:15PM Phil
Seems that way but we routinely work 12 hour days and on weekends.  All ex military guys who don’t know anything different. I lead the team so I can’t bag on them. We get done when we get done
No shit. Everyone is taking the day off

9:17PM Sassy
Friday it is then.  
Have a good evening!  Hope you can sleep soon.

9:20PM Sassy

We have an Iditarod winner!  Dallas does it again! With his Dad coming in second again. Whee!

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/16/sports/dallas-seavey-wins-fourth-iditarod.html

Photo by Diana Haecker/Reuters