Monthly Archives: March 2012

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Moving experience

Wednesday whales
Between Phil and You
December 22 at 6:15am
Good morning! I hope your day is starting well. Another gray, windy day here, but above freezing! 34 degrees. They say more snow. Yippee. Have a great day!
December 22 at 11:18am
Hey, there. How’s your day going?
You may not believe me, (I hardly believe it myself) but I woke up feeling fine! Haven’t taken any pain meds… not sore. Just a little tired. I may have had the most amazing surgeon in the world. Older sister called; she’s bringing me seafood supper! So good news all around!!
Phil December 22 at 12:07pm
That’s fabulous! Got a house full of movers. Busy days. 
Moving so many years worth of stuff is a pain
December 22 at 3:13pm
Oh, Right! You went back to the beach when I wasn’t looking. 🙂 Hope the movers do right by you.
Phil December 22 at 3:39pm
They are doing ok. I’m drinking gin and tonics to keep me mellow
December 22 at 3:45pm
Yikes. You’re on to mixed drinks? Eep. 🙂 It’s snowing here again… be glad you don’t have to mess with that!
December 22 at 9:07pm
Hope your evening is going okay. Did they finish?
I survived dinner with older sister. She was in a good mood (unusual) and left about the time I wanted to strangle her. 🙂 Ah, siblings. Brought me a stuffed clam and the fisherman’s platter – fried shrimp, whole clams, scallops and schrod! Yum.  Got so many phone calls!  Everyone is checking on me – Cousins,  friends, and a college pal! I am Ms. Popular today. Heh.
Phil December 22 at 10:05pm
They are finishing now. Long day. 
My dad had a heart attack today. He is stable. Should be ok.

December 22 at 10:17pm
Wow. Must be emotional to see the empty house…
So sorry to hear about your father! Scary. I will pray for him, and all of you. Hugs.
Phil December 22 at 10:28pm
Killing me to leave here. Been home for so many years
December 22 at 11:11pm
oh, sweetheart… I hear you.
Phil December 22 at 11:32pm
Makes it all seem very real. I love this house. Such is life I guess.

December 22 at 11:44pm
I wish I knew what to say to make it easier…
Phil December 23 at 12:28am
Fact of military life. You have to move once in awhile. I was very fortunate to stay in one place for this long. No complaints. Just feel sort of empty now. It will be ok once I get to the new job and get into the house. This part sucks.

December 23 at 12:39am
Makes sense. Fitting to feel sad… honoring the place, the memories… the good times. Part of being alive. Ah, the stories those walls could tell, eh?
December 23 at 12:50am
I’d better get back to bed. Rest now? Tomorrow will be easier? Call me if you want to. You know I’d do anything to help. Where is my magic wand? * sigh* Sleep well, sweet man.


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Percocet & Cheeseburger

Tuesday tilting
Between Phil and You
December 21 at 5:19am
Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start. It’s a white world! still snowing. and blowing! Snow coming down looks like a swarm of white bees, swirling in the wind. 28 degrees…brrr. Totally missed forecast this storm. Have a wonderful day!
December 21 at 6:29am
Off to MGH for surgery!

Phil December 21 at 6:48am
It will be fine Sass.

December 21 at 6:53pm
Made it home. Percocet and a cheeseburger. 
Slow brain but no pain. Bed now.
Phil December 21 at 7:17pm
Glad to hear it! Take it easy.
December 21 at 10:44pm
Hey, kid. Good day for you?
Awake again. 
Another cheeseburger. 
More percocet… hope that’s the last one. 
gives me vivid dreams of.. well, you know.
December 21 at 11:33pm
Heading back to bed. Sleep well, sweet man.
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Percocet & Cheeseburger

Tuesday tilting
Between Phil and You
December 21 at 5:19am
Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start. It’s a white world! still snowing. and blowing! Snow coming down looks like a swarm of white bees, swirling in the wind. 28 degrees…brrr. Totally missed forecast this storm. Have a wonderful day!
December 21 at 6:29am
Off to MGH for surgery!

Phil December 21 at 6:48am
It will be fine Sass.

December 21 at 6:53pm
Made it home. Percocet and a cheeseburger. 
Slow brain but no pain. Bed now.
Phil December 21 at 7:17pm
Glad to hear it! Take it easy.
December 21 at 10:44pm
Hey, kid. Good day for you?
Awake again. 
Another cheeseburger. 
More percocet… hope that’s the last one. 
gives me vivid dreams of.. well, you know.
December 21 at 11:33pm
Heading back to bed. Sleep well, sweet man.
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Collide

Monday at home
Between Phil and You
December 20 at 12:37pm
Good morning! Gray day here, 30 degrees and windy. Smells like snow but they say we won’t get much. Lots of snow there? Hope your meetings are going well. Thanks for the photos… gorgeous! I hope that view restores your soul on certain days. Have a great day!
TEXTS
Phil: [sent photo of his new living room]
3:15 pm Me: Wow!  Gorgeous wood floor!  And a fireplace… Nifty!
3:15 pm Phil It’s not too bad
3:16 pm Me: Room looks HUGE!
3:17 pm Phil: Probably 40 by 25 I think
3:18 pm Me: Yowza!  Your own bowling alley!
December 20 at 10:10pm
Hey, kid. You watching football? I forget where you are tonight… hope it’s fun. Busy day, got stuff done so I can veg out – laundry, bills, project stuff, bank. Sis took me on a tour of the Christmas lights on the homes in Somerville – they’re famous for crazy displays. Then a big Italian dinner in Everett.  Had hoped to sleep but totally wired. Hubby’s out. Call if you can… tell me story… heh. Sleep well, sweet man.
December 20 at 10:16pm
FYI – I asked Hubby to text you tomorrow, when I am out of surgery. If you get antsy, call or text him at [phone number] or email [email address]
Phil December 20 at 10:21pm
You will be in my prayers Sass. I have faith you will have no issues. What an amazing nite. Snowing, wonderful food, great people in the new place

From: Sassy
Subject: Collide
Date: December 20, 2010 10:27:47 PM EST
To: Phil

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca9ub9rpNK4

Collide lyrics
Songwriters: Griffin, Kevin; Day, Howie;
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You’re barely waking
And I’m tangled up in you, yeah
I’m open, you’re closed
Where I follow, you’ll go
I worry I won’t see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide
I’m quiet you know
You make a first impression
I’ve found I’m scared to know
I’m always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide
Don’t stop here
I lost my place
I’m close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide
© TENTATIVE MUSIC

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Mileposts

Weekend wonders
Between Phil and You
December 19 at 9:26am
Good morning! You rolling along? I hope you have an uneventful trip. It’s above freezing here! Lots of high clouds. Quiet morning in the lot.
December 19 at 10:47am
You in Buffalo yet? Off to the shower!
Phil December 19 at 10:48am
Yep, Niagra Falls
December 19 at 11:42am
Wow! You’re making great progress! In PA now? I’m all clean and headed out to brunch at the Independent pub.
Phil December 19 at 11:44am
Enjoy! 40 miles from the line
December 19 at 1:39pm
Hey, kid! Where you – Ohio yet? Back from brunch! Bloody Mary with celery and ham/cheese omelette acquired! Also got to taste sweet potato biscuits with sausage gravy… yum! Seven of us… good times. One marine reservist headed to the sandbox next year. Lots of talk of DADT repeal. Then half of the runners from the local Jingle Bell run rolled in… sort of like holiday Rocky Horror fashion show. Wacky! Lost our waitress, had to get the manager to pay and dash out. Heh.


TEXT: [photo of the pub]


Phil December 19 at 1:43pm
Coming up on Cleveland. Listening to football. Good day

December 19 at 1:46pm

Wow! You’re really motoring! I’m off to see my dad. Go Team!

Phil December 19 at 1:48pm
Whoo Hooo

December 19 at 4:16pm
In Indiana? Good visit w dad. Headed home
  
December 19 at 4:49pm
Good start to that game!
December 19 at 5:43pm
Half time! Did you make it to your destination yet? Hoping you are close…
December 19 at 7:18pm
Woot! They did it!  They won!
Phil December 19 at 7:23pm
What a game

December 19 at 7:34pm
Did you yell at the radio? 🙂
December 19 at 9:06pm
You camped out in the house? Call?
If you’re too wiped, I understand. Sleep well, sweet man.
Phil December 19 at 10:40pm
Made it, relaxing with wine. What a haul. I am pooped.
December 19 at 10:46pm
Thank you very much for letting me know. I am picturing you in the empty house. Something very poetic about it. Must be such a good feeling to be done driving. And your team won!
Phil December 19 at 10:48pm
I am staying in a very nice suite around the corner from the house. Much more comfortable

December 19 at 10:51pm
Ah, much better.

December 19 at 10:55pm
Did you eat today? My sister gave me a quart of Hungarian mushroom soup she made… had part of that for dinner with some of the pretzel crackers. Yum.
Phil December 19 at 10:56pm
Arbys on the road was it
December 19 at 11:06pm
Love their horsey sauce. 🙂
Wish I was there… would hand you soup and the rest of the cheese, and rub your back. You watching the Pats?
Phil December 19 at 11:08pm
Yea, hoping they get beat

December 19 at 11:10pm
Brat.

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Dinners

Phil December 17 at 1:38pm
Huh?
Phil December 17 at 1:39pm 
On my way west to see the folks! Wearing my new t-shirt 🙂

December 17 at 2:24pm
Yay! You survived the conference!
Feel like talking? Call me? I have nothing to do at work, as usual. Had a busy morning. Went to out for lunch with a senior staffer. Would love to tell you about it…
December 17 at 3:55pm
Great to chat. Turkey trot = Abby’s dance on NCIS. Hope the new shirt is comfy. Get someone to take a photo? Would love to see you in it!
December 17 at 11:35pm
Hiya, kid. Did you have a grand night with the family?
I went to see my dad at the nursing home. He seems well cared for. Hubby and I had dinner with my sister and her familiy at this Colonial home in Woburn that looks the furthest thing from a Chinese restaurant – bright yellow with frilly trim. But it houses the most authentic Sichuan place around. I ate hot & sour soup, pork dumplings and stir-fried filet mignon with mushrooms and onions and spinach. Yum.
Sleep well, sweet man.


Phil December 18 at 6:56am
Having dinner at the Land and Sea Grill Steak House in Saugerties. Oh my God!

December 18 at 8:45am
OMG! That menu looks amazing! Did you add to your lobster count? (your msg came thru Saturday morning…)

Phil December 18 at 8:53am
I did

December 18 at 8:54am
Good morning! Pretty morning here.. 25 degrees, sun, high clouds, calm… need to get a bunch of errands done – post office, bank, then go to project meetings. What are you up to?

Phil December 18 at 8:59am
The lobster bisque came with a lobster tail in it. I had the seafood fra diablo, escargo with button mushrooms


TEXT
9:03 am Phil: [photo of plate of food]

December 18 at 9:03am
I can’t believe how far you folks drive for dinner! My older sister’s partner is from near there. They were just there, as his mom is not well. It still manages to surprise me how tightly intertwined our lives are, in terms of places you know that I know etc. but when you’re up here, it gets really clear.
December 18 at 9:05am
OMG. I may have to get in the car. Lobster in the bisque? That is decadent! (I had a very strong feeling that you had bisque when I saw that menu…) And snails? Yum. I would’ve begged for tastes of all that! Oh, man… drooling now.

TEXTS
9:25 am Me: Whoa!  What is that?
9:26 am Phil: Lobster Fra diavlo
9:26 am Me: Envy!
9:28 am Phil: Was amazing!
9:29 am Me: Spicy? I’ve never had it…
9:31 am Phil: Oh yeah, was awesome

Phil December 18 at 9:59am
Saugerties is so pretty. All the lights. Not that far a drive, have eaten there before. One of my favorites. Great people own and run it. Amazing food, great service, very friendly.

TEXTS
9:59 am Me: Dessert?
10:03 am Phil: Crème Brule
10:12 am Me: Scotch?
10:43 am Phil: Of course
December 18 at 11:28am
Hope it wasn’t too much FB msgs and texts. It’s so fun!
Sadly, idea of surgery Tuesday is getting to me. Got out my health care proxy, and fell into “what if I die on table?” Eep. Who would take care of practical matters? So I made a list for Hubby and sis of where to find important documents. If I do it, he won’t need it, right?
Then on to “What do I need to say?” Dangerous territory. But a few texts from you, and I am back out of that pit. Laughing! Thank you, Philip. Photos of lobster are a guaranteed way to perk me up! 🙂
Off to work on my project!
TEXTS
4:32 pm Phil [photo of his family doing a holiday toast]
4:32 pm Me: Awesome!  Cheers!
4:38 pm Phil: [He sent me the same photo again. Drunk?]
5:26 pm Me: Cuter than lobster!
6:40 pm Me: Having sushi and Korean tonight!
Sent photo of a painting of JP Seafood in Jamaica Plain




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Day After


Thursday thick
Between Phil and You
December 16 at 11:53am
Hiya, kid. Hope you’re enjoying this warmer day. I am a little sore from driving 300 miles, fuzzy from not quite enough sleep and heart aches missing you… hope sleep will fix most of that.
December 16 at 2:20pm
Some good tips to remember as you transition from the South to the Midwest
Six winter weather lessons that Southerners can learn from Northerners.

TEXTS
6:01 pm Phil: [Photo of two lobster dinners from his conference]
6:03 pm Me: Yowza!
6:20 pm Me: Score – Philip 4, lobsters 0
6:27 pm Phil: Yeah man!  I’m kicking their ass
6:32 pm Phil: Getting chowder to go for later on.
Me: [Photo of Lazurus, a kitty]
6:46 pm: Stopped by a shelter event.  Kitty rescued from an apt complex in CT that was being demolished.  He ran out to their truck [a rare thing!] and hopped inside!
6:48 pm Phil: That’s cool.  3 pounds of lobsta gone, having a beer, got two bowls of chowda for later with scotch.  I’m a happy boy. 
6:49 pm Me: Envy!
6:51 pm Phil: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  30 bucks for two 1 ½ lb lobsters, boiled potatoes and corn on the cob.  I love it
7:07 pm Me: Going out for Thai – soup and satay.
7:08 pm Phil: Satay is my favorite!  Enjoy!

December 16 at 8:56pm

Your day go okay? Home now. Feeling better… nap, kitty shelter visit, thai food with two women from my project team. Nice to chat with new people. And talk about the project instead of dad dying/breast crap. Hubby has friends over in our living room, so I’m sitting at my desk in the middle of that!
Phil December 16 at 9:07pm
I’m doing good. Got the laundry done. Having my soup enjoying a scotch watching NCIS
December 16 at 10:08pm
Did you like the Turkey Trot?



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Visit #2 – part 7 Farewell

1:15 am The farewell


I dropped him at his car, and got out for one last hug and kisses.  I did not want to let go!  I had this horrible feeling that I would never see or hear from him again, whether by some peril in my upcoming battle with cancer or some twist to his move and new post or the vagaries of life in general.  I tried to pour all my feelings into that last touch, but I could not speak. 


He finally broke us apart, kissed my forehead and said, “Drive safe.  Text me when you get home?”  I nodded.  He dashed to his car.  I got into mine and followed him out of town.  He turned off toward the base, and I went on down the dark, empty roads and highways back to Boston. 

TEXTS
1:22 am to Hubby “Headed north, home soon”

1:29 am Philip: â€śThanks for a very enjoyable evening.  Please let me know when you are home and safe.”
(with a photo of the boston cream pie in a heart)  


1:30 am Philip: â€śYummy”
(with a photo of the baked stuffed lobster)


2:45 am Home
I unpacked the cooler, putting the cheese back into the fridge.  Hubby was asleep in the recliner, so I tucked him into bed.  But I was too too keyed up to sleep, so I stayed up writing it all down, wanting to treasure every moment. 
TEXTS
3:39 am â€śThank you very much for a lovely evening!  Fabulous dinner, thought-provoking stories, and so many sweet moments… it’s so great being with you.”
3:47 am “Made it home easily, so keyed up, couldn’t sleep… up writing down everything, to clear my head.  So special… Thanks for sharing so much with me, Philip.  Must sleep now.  Sleep well, sweet man.”
4:15 am bed
Final thoughts:

Thank you that I did not get sick, have a period or a cold sore, get into a car crash with him in the car or by myself, get too lost, run into anyone I knew at dinner.  
My cat did not make him sneeze.  
He liked the t-shirt I gave him and it fit.

I was able to put off my surgery a few days so I could see him. 
I went to D.C. in October, so this was not our only interaction. 
He didn’t give me any “and now good-bye” speech.
Not sure whether I should have told him I love him or not.  Didn’t seem to be a moment to do it.  But when he shared his heart cath story, and I realized he could die before I ever see him again, or when he talked about such intense moments in his career and the burdens, I was very close.   
It is so nice to be with a man who will let me touch him and kiss him.  
I was also very happy to have few hours where I was not “the person whose dad is dying” or “the woman with cancer.”  I was Philip’s “high school sweetheart.”  
Swoon
Now what?


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Visit #2 – part 6 The road back

11:35 pm Headed Out


I drove off down the highway.  I kept one hand on the wheel and put the other hand on his knee, making little circles on his soft jeans.  I played David Wilcox’s “East Ashville Hardware” CD for him – he liked it!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvOgyJt_Xts

He fell asleep for about 30 minutes.  It validated my decision to drive, so he could drink if he liked, and sleep if he needed to, and not worry his head about directions or traffic etc.  He apologized for nodding off, but I told him it was okay.  I thought it was kind of sweet, that he trusted me to drive and could be himself.  He said he’d been in cabs in Israel – no driver scared him after that.  
12:15 pm Stopped for gas at the rest stop  

I got out to pump gas.  No one else was around.  It was so cold and windy… I thought I might freeze!  He got out and hugged me from behind, blocked the wind, put the gas cap back while I was getting my receipt.  Then he pressed me against the car and kissed me.  I wrapped my leg around him and wondered how far we could go standing outside before we froze solid.  But the cold got to us and we hopped back into the car. He kissed me and I felt warmer very quickly! 

12: 25 am Stories as we roll along

He told me stories about the conference, mentoring other officers with tips and learning from them, too.  
He told me the stories of his hardest hours in the service, being in hot spots around the world, or during an emergency when he had to be awake for 36 hours and keep his team awake.  He said it taught him not to have more than 2 drinks except when he’s on vacation and away.  He has to be ready for the phone to ring at 2 am, to race back to duty, be in command and work until it’s over.  A heavy burden.  

I told him about the lessons I learned from my work… nothing quite as dramatic, but still telling him why I am the way I am. 

I felt so close to him, driving down the road in the dark in the middle of the night, sharing the deepest moments that made us who we are, the road we’ve traveled since we were teenagers.  


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Visit #2 – part 5 On my desk

11:00 pm Office visit


We made our way back down the stairs to the garage, found my car and drove over to my office building.  He pressed me against the wall of the elevator and kissed me, slipping his hands inside my pants to squeeze my ass.  We went to my office, and I showed him my desk in the corner.  He admired the view out the window while I sat on the edge of my desk.  The lights went off – they do that when no one is moving around.  

He turned to me and gathered me into his arms for a long kiss, whispering, “I’ve wanted to bend you over this desk for a long time.”  We shared a passionate kiss and then he said, “There isn’t enough time.”  He sighed, then whispered, “If I could, I’d flip you around, bend you at the waist, lower your pants and press a finger inside you.” 

I whimpered as the sound of his voice poured over me, and the images he evoked took root in my imagination.  

“Hmmmm… I’d reach deep inside.  Mmm…. so wet already,” he sighed again.  “Then I’d kneel down and lick my way down the crack of that gorgeous ass, circle the rim and move lower and shove my tongue inside.”  He was panting a bit at the thought! 

He reached down and pressed my most sensitive spot, rubbing gently back and forth with his finger.  My hips began to press toward him, and he sucked and teased my earlobe.  My hips ground against him, and I thought I might lose my mind.  

He continued whispering, “Then you’ll hear the clink of my belt buckle.  You can twist your head around to watch me release my cock.  It’s going to spring out and up, and I’m going to guide it into you, pulling your hips to mine and pounding you into this desk.”

I raked my fingers down his back and moaned into his ear, and the shaking started.  Damn, this man can make me peak just whispering to me! 

He kissed me deeply, squeezing my ass with both hands.  The lights popped back on!  

He looked at his watch, gave me a sad smile and said, “We really should go.”  I nodded and took his hand to lead him back to the elevator.  

He held me in the elevator and we giggled at the feminine voice announcing, “Going down,” as we descended.  He leered at me, whispering, “Oh, I’d love to do that right here!”  

I headed for the car as fast as I could to escape the cold.  He said, “Give me a minute,” and stood on the front steps of the building, taking in the surroundings as I dashed to open and start the car.  He joined me and buckled himself in to the passenger seat.  I put the car in gear and headed out.