Guilt King

Kevin, my AM #1, and I had been planning and fantasizing about meeting at a micro brewery, hugging, talking, touching and then finding somewhere to kiss.  He had me so revved up!  I was counting the hours until 7:30 pm when I could finally see him and touch him.  This would be our third attempt at a meet.  Third time the charm?

I had put off the first meeting, and he postponed our second try, so I was holding my breath, hoping that had been a fluke, but braced for a letdown.

3:07 pm

I’m out again. Had my first full-fledged AM hook-up on Sunday and I can’t come to grips with it morally. I am hating myself now and don’t want to. You were right. This is something that should be avoided if there is an option. Thanks for being a friend and I’m sorry, but I can’t lead a double life.


So…. no meet.  And he slammed the door in my face.
And he was meeting someone else yesterday?  He’s met EIGHT women and he won’t meet me? WTF?!
But I felt his pain.  If it was the truth.  I couldn’t resist writing back.

3:47 pm

Hiya Kevin, 
Thanks for your note.  I so sorry you are feeling the guilt.  I understand you feel what you feel, but please cut yourself some slack.  Take deep breaths.  This doesn’t make you a horrible person.  You are a good man with needs who is doing the best he can to meet them without hurting others.  Don’t burn your bridges.  I know a man who goes through this after every meet, then decides in a little while that he needs her again and has to beg his way back.  Take your time.  Think it through.  
If you have someone to talk to about this, do that.  If not, I am here to listen or I could connect you with guys in a similar situation for anonymous chat or email.  I want to help and I can be a friend.  I can even watch you drink a beer and cry into it if you like – I won’t pester you.  I have other possibilities… not as interesting as you, of course.  And I can help with ideas on less risky ways to meet your needs.  
If you don’t want any further contact, thank you for making me smile more than any other guy on AM.  Be happy.  You deserve it.

And then I cried.  Again.  What is it with this man?  The others make me sad or angry or puzzled but this one?  ARRRGH!

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Sassy Girl

It's the gal you knew in high school that you've wondered about. And she's got something to say! Time to heat up old flames!

2 thoughts on “Guilt King”

  1. Sassy you are so much more eloquent and generous than me. I really lambasted my guilt king via email after practically faking a heart attack from guilt at our first (and only) quack. He had two reasons to feel guilt after reading it. I am glad you mentally prepared for this happening. You do not need to be his friend. Hang in there sweetie!

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