Saturday, March 29, 2014
So… it gets to be a month since I’ve seen the NH Man… and he shows no sign of wanting to meet again. It seems fair to give up after a month? I am getting really frustrated! I need to be touched! But I don’t want to put myself out there again.
Then Ashley Madison sends me an email mid-afternoon. A man has written me a message. They say that whether the guy “winked” or “made you a favorite” or wrote an actual message. But they don’t tell you what or show you the message. Of course, I have to log in to see it. They used to send the message but now it’s all about the clicks.
I’ve been getting a lot of these emails, but no actual messages. I dutifully go look at the guy’s profile anyway and… I dunno. No one interests me. They don’t write enough for me to tell. Or they write way too much about role playing and one-night stands. Or there are 10 typos in the three sentences they wrote. *sigh
The email shows the stats from his profile and a photo. His profile name is fine – something like FreeSpirit77. Doesn’t mean much, but it’s way better than the Best69-4U or BigSchlongUdig guys.
I stare at the photo. It’s a color photo of the back of a man steering a boat. Not a cropped photo with his arm around a woman barely cut out or a strange selfie with a mask photoshopped over his eyes, but a great photo of a man and a body of water on a beautiful day! I am not into boating but he has nice shoulders.
I read that over the stats:
Location: [Small Town], New Hampshire, United States
Height: 5’10” (178cm)
Weight: 190 lbs (86kg) – A few extra pounds
My Limits Are: Something Long Term
Status: Attached Male seeking Females
Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
Hmm… 62. That’s about the same age as the NH Man. Age doesn’t mean much to me, except that I’ve had good luck with older men. It probably means he is a couple years older, at least.
Another NH Man? Never heard of the town. I check Google Maps for the location. It’s about an hour away. That sounds perfect. Not the coast but near the big highways. He probably lives somewhere around there. Most men pick the swankiest town near where they live, so they don’t give away their true location, and sound better than they are.
Hmmm… I ask for men 6’0. He’s close…
190 pounds? That seems skinny to me.
Something long term? Nice. Please let it be true! Men think women want to see that so they say it no matter what their real goals are.
Attached. Good. I don’t deal with single men. They have odd expectations.
And he is male. I like those!
Ethnicity: White… fine. Whatever. Most of the men on AM are.
So… definitely worth a look. I logged on to AM and read his profile.
No checkboxes! Yay! He wrote three complete paragraphs with no typos! He sounded wonderful. It had me smiling and nodding, even giggled a bit. It went something like this:
Preferences and encounters I am open to:
I like most of the check boxes. (Not all–I’m not into pain, and you’ll never see me in your underwear. Hope you have a sense of humor.) I’m an unselfish lover and good listener to what you like and want. I’m open to many things–but only what my partner’s interested in and comfortable with. I have high stamina. Your sexual pleasure and satisfaction are very important to me. Let’s get to know each other a little. If we’re a good match–the sex will be good.
What really turns me on:
I need to like you as a person to enjoy you in intimate ways. I want to get to know you. The main thing is just be yourself. If we like each other–we like each other. If we don’t–well, we keep looking.
What I am looking for:
“The thrill is gone”–so looking for a woman to get some of it back with. Not looking to change my situation or hurt anyone. I’m an intelligent, fun-loving, down-to-earth, man looking for a woman who’s fun to be with, easy to talk to, has a good sense of humor, and is looking to get some “lost passion” back in her life. To see what I look like ask for for the Key to my Private Showcase. We could meet for drinks, a cup of coffee, or even lunch or dinner (my treat)–just to see if there’s a spark there or not. Don’t feel we need to like EVERYTHING the same–and we may just not have time. But if time allows–I enjoy boating, downhill skiing, working out, camping, music, museums, arts, motorcycle, concerts, some sports, theater, shows, eating out–a wide variety of things. Don’t drink but am fine with a social drinker. Prefer a non-smoker–but as long as I don’t have to “practically smoke it with you” in an enclosed area–I can live with it. (Here’s where I show my flexibility–and where you need a sense of humor.)
Wow. I like this guy! And I could be the woman he describes. Interesting how he gives a woman clear indication of what he wants, what can happen, what he’s like. I was eager to read his first message to me.
5:06 pm via AM
Hi, Your profile sounds very appealing–both your description of your personality and alluring physical features. I’m a little older than you (8 years to be exact). But don’t count me out based on that. I have a GREAT PASSION for life, LOTS of energy, LOTS of STAMINA in bed–and workout regularly to stay fit. I’m just a little shorter than you say you prefer (5’10”)–but I’m in great shape for my age. I’m giving you my Key for access to my Showcase so you can see what I look like. I like eating at a variety of restaurants–plus enjoy doing many other things as well. Contact me if interested in getting to know me a little. I’d love to treat you to lunch or dinner–just to see if there’s that important “chemistry” needed to move forward. No pressure and no expectations–just a friendly, low-key lunch or dinner. Although I live in southern NH–I work in MA M-F. Traveling to your area is easy for me. My name is: [redacted]
Wow! What a great message! I wanted to write back! I wanted to know more! He sounds so… real. I don’t usually start with a longer message, but he made me want to use every single letter of the 2,000 characters AM will allow.
I noticed he had already given me access to his photo. There was a great one of his smile! It made me feel like he would be a lot of fun. And make my day better. He had white hair and beard and looked like… a skinny Santa Claus! Ho ho ho!
I set about crafting a message with random questions to learn more about him, and a few more tidbits about me.
6:52 pm via AM
Hiya [first name redacted],
Thanks for getting in touch! How are you this murky afternoon? You brightened my day with your great smile and wonderful words. I adore your profile without the checkboxes. Thank you for your kind offer of a meal. Please talk to me just a bit more before I decide? Here’s five quick questions:
1) Have you always lived in NH? I was raised in upstate NY, came here for college and stayed.
2) Do you have kids? Pets? I don’t have children but am owed by two cats.
3) What brings you to AM? Are you the “nothing at home, need something” type? Or “something at home, need something else?” Or “more more more!”
4) iPhone or Android? I’m Apple with my computers, Android on the smartphone. I can email, text, chat, calls… whatever works best. Tell me you know how to cover your tracks?
5) Say more about your sexual wishes. A favorite fantasy? I’ve run into the man wearing panties, the dom, sub… even a man who wanted to listen to me in the bathroom! Nice men but I could not help them. I am not vanilla… let’s say butter pecan? I want variety, exploration, equal shares of you do things, I do things, we do things. I read a lot of sexy and watch videos and want to experiment! No pain beyond a gentle bite or a slight spank. Men say I am the best kisser ever, but you’ll have to decide.
Here’s more about me:
I’ve been told I’m the nicest woman ever, a great sense of humor, discreet, no drama… just looking for fun and passion and a confidante. Is that you? Age doesn’t matter to me. If you’re ready to hug a big, tall woman, I’m fine with your height. Thanks for saying you can get down here. I’m an office manager. I help run a community project in my spare time. Hubby and I are great friends, but no sex. I beat cancer three years ago. I’m whole and healthy now, but want to live life to the fullest!
What else would you like to know? I want to be sure I don’t waste your time.
Hugs with groping!
And now I wait… will he write back?! Please please please…