Sunday, April 21, 2013
I had a meltdown this morning. I feel like a firetruck with a big sign on my butt that says “Danger – Keep 300 ft back.” Sigh.
With all the craziness this week around the Marathon and the Lockdown, I felt the need to reaffirm that I am alive! I wanted to talk with a nice man.
1) I decided to try AM chat last night.
I haven’t done it before but I was home alone and bored. I got pinged by a local guy. He was so easy to talk with! I felt a great connection.
Maybe you can tell me why a guy would talk to me for two hours, tell me he wants to meet for lunch, tell me he will call in 15 minutes to settle the details and then…NOT CALL?! No call, no email, no message on AM. When did the lie start?
I’ve been emailing with Mr Truck for 6 months. We have fun sharing p0rn. He tells me when his wife is away and that we should meet, but it never happens. So this time I asked if he could call me. He has a great voice and speaks very well in a sexy way. Oh, great idea, he says. He is a morning person, so he picks 8 am today. So I get up early, get myself all psyched up and… NOTHING.
So I sit at my computer crying, wondering what is wrong with me that two guys in 12 hours can’t be bothered to call me at a time they chose? I ask for so little and I can’t even get that?
Another chatter had the misfortune to wish me a good morning on IM about 11 am and I whined all over him, poor man. But that seemed to help.
I need to lower my expectations a lot… and not saddle these men with my need for a special man when all they want is a little chit chat now and then.
Mr. Truck emailed me eventually – so sorry, has the flu, fell asleep on the couch about midnight and missed his alarm. Whatever.
Mr. Hyatt is asking when he can see me. I feel stupid not to do it… but I just don’t care. I should give him a second chance, I suppose. But he doesn’t listen to me… and sends me the oddest videos. I dunno.
I want to dump them all and focus on Philip. He thinks he can get here to see me again… which makes me sooo happy! But I know I mustn’t give up all my local options just because he might appear for a couple of days.
It was fascinating which of the AM men checked on me on Friday when all hell was breaking lose in my backyard. Two guys – Panties Man and Schenectady Sam, a guy who somehow ended up on my chat list and we’ve talked like… four times. So… marginal guys. Am I wrong to think that if the AM men can’t be bothered to contact me when it seems like the world is coming to an end, I can assume they really don’t care at all? Not sure why it bugs me so much, but it does.
Wow… that was wicked cranky sounding! Sorry. I need some time off from AM or some sort of miracle. This week is nutty at work with a big event, so perhaps I’ll just sit back and not think about AM.