In with the new

Thursday, January 3, 2013

At almost exactly the same moment I was mired in being dumped by two men on the same day to end 2012 with a whimper, another man (the first one in three weeks) was looking at my AM profile and writing to me.

I was not in the mood to log on to AM, so I didn’t see his note until later that evening.  I perused his profile and decided he was not the man for me.  He put right in his greeting “looking for a short term relationship.”  Bleh.  Does that mean – one night?  A few times?  Ugh.  Not what I want!  He says he is 64.  Hmmm.  If the usual applies, he’s 66 or 67.  Can’t tell much by age… maybe he looks 54?  6′ tall.  Okay.  180 pounds.  Too skinny.  What is it with all these skinny men?  He checked a bunch of boxes – good ones but not much clue to his real self.  They all looked like “boxes men think women want them to check.”  He wrote one sentence of his own, listing three interests that almost every guy puts.  And there were three typos.  Okay, I was cranky.  But there wan’t anything special there.

I was about to close that window when I realized that if silence is my pet peeve, it behooves me to write to someone who spent the time and money to write to me.  So I crafted a “thanks, but no thanks” reply.

This is a textbook example of how once you start talking to a guy, he will try his best to keep you talking and get you to meet him.  Can’t blame him.  Nothing else was going on, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to listen to him.  Maybe he’d surprise me?

Here’s our first messages on AM:

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Date:  Dec 31st – 3:58pm
From:  Archie
To: Sassy
Message:
Hi Sassy, My name is Archie. I’m a 64 yer old architect on the South Shore. i’d like to chat with you sometime.
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Date:  Dec 31st – 7:50pm
From:  Sassy
To: Archie 
Message:
Hi Archie. Thanks for your message! It doesn’t look like we’re compatible… I want someone long-term and not into games… but best of luck to you. Happy New Year! – Sassy
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Date:  Jan 2nd – 9:16am
From:  Archie
To: Sassy
Message:
We don’t have to play games. I checked that off because I thought it was more about being playful.
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Date:  Jan 2nd – 6:54pm
From:  Sassy
To: Archie 
Message:
Ah… that makes sense. Thanks for explaining. Now tell me your logic about wanting short-term deals?
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Date:  Jan 2nd – 7:15pm
From:  Archie
To: Sassy
Message:
Well I’m not sure how long a relationship will last. I have had two affairs before. One long term and the other for a short duration. It’s hard to know what to say in a profile. I would stay in a relationship as long as the woman wanted to provided that we were compatible. I’m looking for a relationship with someone who I can have fun with. It’s that simple.  
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Date:  Jan 2nd – 10:16pm
From:  Sassy
To: Archie 
Message:
Hiya Archie. Ah… I see! No one knows how long it can last. It is tough to know what to put here. The rest of your profile is quite nice! Sorry… the “short term” scared me… makes you look like a player. Which some women like? I am getting weary of the search… want a guy I can be nice to whenever there is time, and not be back on here again anytime soon! I want to have fun… having sex! I suppose that makes me sound like a hussy… ah well! 
So what would tell you if we’re compatible? I am well-educated, very smart. I like Heinz ketchup, not Hunt’s… McDonald’s, not Burger King. Hmmm… that may not be what you want to know! How’s this? Men say I am a fabulous kisser. I am very open to doing things, trying new things, try to keep it fresh and interesting. I watch p0rn and read blogs and learn as much as I can. I am multi-orgasmic. I like to know about kinky sex but mostly stick to the basics… not vanilla, not rocky road, maybe butter pecan? I adore lobster and shrimp and steak but a bacon cheeseburger is good, too. And all sorts of ethnic food. I swallow. I will make you laugh. What else would you like to you know? -Sassy
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Date:  Jan 3rd – 8:45am
From:  Archie
To: Sassy 
Message:
Hi Sassy, I would love to know as much about you as you are willing to divulge. As for me, I’m not Harvard School of Design. I’m the Boston Architectural Center. I’m not Symphony Hall. I’m the Boston Pops. I’m not Starbuck’s. I’m Dunkin Donuts. I’m well educated but I still have a lot to learn. 
I’m very upbeat. I can find humor in most things. I think that a great relationship can develop when two people have chemistry. I think of the 50’s song by Frank Sinatra “How little we know”. If we have chemistry then we are off to the races so to speak. 
As far as sex. Well I enjoy everything. I love foreplay. It’s always great when two people get beyond that initial awkardness and settle into a real ease and enjoyment of each other. That’s when the fun really starts.
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Date:  Jan 3rd – 12:13pm
From:  Sassy
To: Archie 
Message:
Hiya Archie, Thanks for sharing juicy tidbits! A awesome way to start my day! I looked up the Sinatra lyrics… I adore it when I think I am the only person in the world feeling something, and find a song where the artist knew and wrote beautifully about it. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqT-D2FTWnc
How little we know
How much to discover
What chemical forces flow
From lover to lover
How little we understand
what touches off that tingle
That sudden explosion 
when two tingles intermingle
Who cares to define
What chemistry this is
Who cares with your lips on mine 
How ignorant bliss is
So long as you kiss me – and the world around us shatters
How little it matters – how little we know
(How little we know, how little we know,…)
So why are you on AM? My husband is no longer interested in sex with me. I am starved for touch. I need to be wanted. I tried to turn off all that, but I survived breast cancer two years ago. I am whole and cancer free and I want a full life! I am demure and proper in real life… I want someone to look beyond that and unleash the wild woman! I can not leave him, so I want to find someone who will be happy filling that one missing piece in my life. 
So what do you want to know? Ask me anything. Really. What would tell you if we have chemistry? I like poking around in men’s heads, but haven’t found anything that gives me a clue to chemistry other than meeting and kissing. I agree – the most important interaction is the second time you have sex. If we can make it to the second meeting… relax… enjoy… great fun! It is good to talk about sex… understand where you’ve been, where you’d like to go, fantasies unfulfilled that I could help with. Hugs with groping! – Sassy
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Jan 3 – 3:44 pm
From: Archie
To: Sassy
Hi sassy, 
Why isn’t your husband interested in sex anymore? I’m married and we have sex once a week. I’m on AM because I find that life is more exciting when I am in an affair. I told you that I had a long term affair. It ended in 2008. Her husband found out. She was hoping to get back with me but he kept her on a short leash and monitored her calls and texts. The years with her were very good for me because she was in my life. She was intelligent and very sensual. Maybe it’s the artist in me but a conventional life is not completely satisfying. I did the conventional life as long as I could but it was like a square peg in a round hole. I love oral sex especially if the woman has a full bush. I love an apple shaped woman also.There are many things that I love to do in bed.
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Jan 3 – 5:04 pm
From: Archie
To: Sassy 
Hi Sassy,
I was never multi orgasmic. If I waited about 20 minutes, I would get hard again. I did with my paramour but not my wife. My wife wants her orgasms and then once I cum she is ready to call it a day. thirty six years of marriage will do that. Did i tell you that I love a full figured woman with a full bush. Do you have a thick busn? I love diving in. 
I’ll tell you what I would do with you. I would go over every inch of your body with my hands and tongue to find all of the places to drive you crazy.LOL. when you say that you have 9 orgasms, are you giving them to yourself or are you getting help? I can last a long time so all of the women that I have had sex with over these many years have been multi orgasmic. 
What colr hair do you have? If I ramble don’t mind me. I’m typing whatever comes into my head. Right now I’m not that busy but I just got a new job today. Designing a house. I can do those in my sleep. I must have done 100 of them in the 90’s. I’m very discreet also. My last lover got a little careless and that is how she got caught. I’ll send my email. [His Real name@ a community college].edu. I took some courses and they gave me a free email. I use it as my personal email and I have one for my business.
Archie
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From: Sassy
To: Archie
Sent: Thu, Jan 3, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Subject: Connection 
Hiya Archie, 
Whee!  We’re off AM.  Yay!  Thank you for email… I find it so much easier than AM.  I like what’s coming up in your head.  
Are there any “fibs” in your profile?  I know most people change a few stats for security reasons.  The only change in mine is my age – I am actually 53 (not 55).  Hope you don’t mind that I am a little younger.   
Ah… the hair questions!  I lost all my hair to cancer two years ago. I rocked a long dark wig that managed to fool most people.  I also lost hair everywhere else!  Interesting being bald down below!  My bush has grown back in dark and fuzzy soft.  My head hair came back silver and curly!  It is down below my shoulders now.
Do you want to exchange photos? I don’t put much faith in the photos people send from AM, and looks don’t matter much, but if you want to see me, I will trade. 
I adore men who explore…  I would also like to explore… find out what makes you smile… try different positions.  Is there anything in particular you crave? 
When I talk about me having multiple O’s, I mean with a man.
FYI – I will not “get caught” so you won’t have that problem with me.  I have my husband’s blessing.
Great that you have a new project!  I hear from other architect friends that these are lean times.  
Tell me about your favorite meal or restaurant?  Are you a steak man?  Or lobster?  Or a fine breakfast?  My special place to eat is Lobsta Land in Gloucester… so sad that they close in the winter!   But I have a wide range of favorites… everywhere from a hidden gem Thai to Olive Garden to an Irish breakfast in a pub.  
Hugs! and some ear nibbles for fun!
-Sassy

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Sassy Girl

It's the gal you knew in high school that you've wondered about. And she's got something to say! Time to heat up old flames!

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