From: Sassy

To: Kris

Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2014 10:06 AM

Subject: Positions

Happy Easter!  I hope you will have a wonderful time with your family today. 

For a treat in your Easter basket, here’s one of my favorite web sites.  I learned a lot! It’s a compendium of over 100 sexual positions, with oddly mesmerizing animation and names and instructions that run from droll to hilarious.  

Scroll down to click on the “folded deck chair” and get lost in the rhythm.  Or change categories on the left for more gems.  Tell me if you find anything you want to try?  Enjoy! 

Face to Face Sex Positions

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Kris: Here’s a sacrilegious “responsive reading” for which i should surely be sent to hell–which summarizes how u left me last night: “It is risen!..It is risen indeed!” I’m REALLY bad. 2:37 PM

Me: I like getting that kind of rise out of you. 2:44 PM

Kris: :)….just got to mom’s…eating in little while….got story later about almost getting caught by wife re: bike. 2:50 PM

Me: I’m still at table…full of duck…awaiting dessert 2:52 PM

Kris: Enjoy! 2:59 PM

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Kris: How’s it goin? boring…fun…ok….ho hum…when do I get to get outta here…time for nap? 4:18 PM

Me: Exactly! Done. Waiting to take Sis to Logan 4:19 PM

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Kris: Still at mom’s. tryin to get goin…dropping son off at park ‘n ride where he left his bike…his girlfriend doesn’t want cold ride on bike home…so have to drop her off elsewhere (arrgh!)…then hopefully home by 9. “images” popping up from someone’s “salacious storytelling” 7:00 PM

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Kris: U home? 9:07 PM

Kris: Son ran out of gas…rescuing him. kids!…arrgh!…won’t b home till closer to 10:30…chat a little then? 9:10 PM

Me: Yes. 9:10 PM

Kris: K 9:11 PM

Kris: asked two questions….sorry….yes to chat? 9:14 PM

Me: Yes please. 🙂 9:14 PM

Me: If you’re not too tired by then 9:15 PM

Kris: no….really want to…. 🙂 9:16 PM

Kris: omg. kids! just leaving son. home by 11 now, but still want to if u do. i dont have to get up early but know u do 10:03 PM

Me: I’ll be up and eager to chat. 10:05 PM

Kris: home. thank god. give me 10. kiss 11:04 PM

Me: Ok 11:06 PM

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·       Apr 20 11:18 PM Kris: Here…finally!

·       Apr 20 11:18 PM Sassy: Hiya!

·       Apr 20 11:18 PM Kris: Hi!

·       Apr 20 11:19 PM Kris: Checked email…thanks for the sexy positions website…be interested to explore different things and learn what you like.

·       Apr 20 11:20 PM Sassy: I learned a lot from it. Had no idea there are so many options!

·       Apr 20 11:20 PM Kris: will we need to be ready for Olympic gymnastics to qualify for some of them?

·       Apr 20 11:21 PM Sassy: Cirque de Soleil!

·       Apr 20 11:21 PM Kris: oh good…glad I’m still working out.

·       Apr 20 11:22 PM Sassy: I’m not into the pretzel ones… but fun to see there are more choices than missionary and doggie and cowgirl

·       Apr 20 11:22 PM Kris: only glanced at it briefly…but folded deck chair actually looks fun…interesting descriptions…including “psychological insights” like “gives men a sense of power”…or “good for hitting g-spot”…stuff like that

·       Apr 20 11:23 PM Sassy: Yes. Or “should not attempt with arthritic knees”

·       Apr 20 11:23 PM Kris: lol

·       Apr 20 11:24 PM Kris: help me out with talking…brain a little cooked…but want to chat.

·       Apr 20 11:25 PM Sassy: What would you like to talk about?

·       Apr 20 11:26 PM Sassy: You want sexy?  Or “my day?” or something else?

·       Apr 20 11:26 PM Sassy: How bout them Red Sox?!

·       Apr 20 11:26 PM Kris: don’t have anything in particular in mind…just was looking forward to this for the past 4 hours and things kept going wrong….but don’t want to waste time talking about it…anything you want to talk about is fine…you choose….NO not sports or the weather

·       Apr 20 11:27 PM Kris: unless you WANT to talk about sports…but would be surprised. lol

·       Apr 20 11:27 PM Sassy: Your mom doing okay?

·       Apr 20 11:28 PM Kris: she’s fine.. in good health…sharp mind…taught school until she retired only 2 years ago. bunch of other relatives…it was fine…but left a little late.

·       Apr 20 11:28 PM Kris: your mom…how was your day there?

·       Apr 20 11:29 PM Sassy: Went along well. Chefs cooked, served, cleaned… we just had to show up and eat.

·       Apr 20 11:29 PM Kris: it was at your mom’s?

·       Apr 20 11:29 PM Sassy: Sister’s

·       Apr 20 11:29 PM Kris: that’s right…sorry…you told me that

·       Apr 20 11:30 PM Sassy: no worries

·       Apr 20 11:30 PM Kris: any “drama”…or things go ok?

·       Apr 20 11:30 PM Sassy: rolled along

·       Apr 20 11:31 PM Kris: that’s good…every once in a while one person in particular in my family causes a scene…but not today

·       Apr 20 11:31 PM Sassy: Phew

·       Apr 20 11:31 PM Sassy: I took sister and her family to Logan… no one was around. Got there and back home in 35 min

·       Apr 20 11:31 PM Kris: that’s good

·       Apr 20 11:31 PM Sassy: They’re off to Disney World

·       Apr 20 11:32 PM Kris: that’s always fun…have you been there?

·       Apr 20 11:32 PM Sassy: in 1976. not my scene

·       Apr 20 11:33 PM Kris: how old were you at the time?

·       Apr 20 11:33 PM Sassy: 16

·       Apr 20 11:33 PM Kris: were you with your family?

·       Apr 20 11:33 PM Sassy: yes

·       Apr 20 11:33 PM Kris: interesting that you didn’t like it…why not?

·       Apr 20 11:33 PM Sassy: It’s an amusement park. Rides made me barf

·       Apr 20 11:34 PM Kris: oh…that wouldn’t be fun then…obviously

·       Apr 20 11:35 PM Sassy: It might be better now, with the other stuff like Epcot and Harry Potter etc.

·       Apr 20 11:35 PM Kris: right…there’s more to do than rides

·       Apr 20 11:35 PM Kris: change of subject….

·       Apr 20 11:35 PM Kris: hotel room adventure

·       Apr 20 11:36 PM Sassy: Yes?

·       Apr 20 11:36 PM Kris: so you were “painting a little picture”…not sure if you were done…picture included food, shrimp, treats, playing, eating, playing some more…anything to add?

·       Apr 20 11:38 PM Sassy: That’s the basics

·       Apr 20 11:38 PM Sassy: Sorry to be so slow planning… Hubby is helping with a project and is supposed to tell me when he will be out and hasn’t done it yet

·       Apr 20 11:39 PM Kris: or if you were picturing a hotel room, and Sunday works best…..do you want to wait until this coming Sunday? or were you thinking of something sooner at your place?

·       Apr 20 11:40 PM Sassy: depends on H’s schedule

·       Apr 20 11:40 PM Kris: ok

·       Apr 20 11:40 PM Sassy: I can ask him to be gone, but if he is already going to be out, much easier

·       Apr 20 11:41 PM Kris: if he goes out…how long do you/we have?

·       Apr 20 11:41 PM Sassy: Usually at least 2 hours and I can tell him to wait until I call

·       Apr 20 11:41 PM Sassy: Sometimes longer

·       Apr 20 11:42 PM Sassy: He is working with a new group so unsure

·       Apr 20 11:43 PM Kris: ok. you can let me know when you do. no problem .it’s not like I feel like you’ve “forgotten” or anything. I like chatting with you. this is kind of a dumb question…but do you too…really…..like chatting?

·       Apr 20 11:43 PM Sassy: Oh yes… very much.

·       Apr 20 11:44 PM Kris: what in particular is fun about it for you?

·       Apr 20 11:45 PM Sassy: Learning about you

·       Apr 20 11:45 PM Sassy: Feeling wanted

·       Apr 20 11:45 PM Kris: are you learning?

·       Apr 20 11:45 PM Kris: I DO want you….

·       Apr 20 11:45 PM Sassy: Exploring sexy stuff

·       Apr 20 11:45 PM Sassy: Distraction from my life

·       Apr 20 11:46 PM Kris: those are all things that make it fun for me too!

·       Apr 20 11:47 PM Kris: I’m not sure I’ve given you much to work with on the “sexy stuff” end but I’m eager to. just think moving from fantasy to reality will help with things…at least for me.

·       Apr 20 11:47 PM Sassy: What happened about you almost getting caught re: the bike?

·       Apr 20 11:48 PM Kris: omg…you’re not going to believe this…and don’t think part of this will “offend” you…but here it is.

·       Apr 20 11:48 PM Kris: my wife is a devout Christian.

·       Apr 20 11:49 PM Kris: I used to be too…but obviously not so much now.

·       Apr 20 11:49 PM Kris: anyhow…I go to church with her every Sunday.

·       Apr 20 11:49 PM Kris: we go to this big church in NH….

·       Apr 20 11:50 PM Kris: this year they decided to rent a huge auditorium

·       Apr 20 11:50 PM Kris: so this morning we went there. we’re pulling into the parking lot…

·       Apr 20 11:51 PM Kris: and there’s this really hot woman in a tight dress with 4 inch pumps walking right in front of my car…as I pull into the parking lot.  her ass is swaying in front of my horny nose…and I’m staring at it….

·       Apr 20 11:52 PM Kris: I can’t see her face but she has sexy, beautiful long reddish brown hair…and a tight sweater on.

·       Apr 20 11:52 PM Kris: I blurt out, “omg….look at that woman’s body!”…..just like that…out loud.  all of a sudden I realize what I’ve said.

·       Apr 20 11:53 PM Kris: my wife simply says, “I know that woman—I’ve sung with her on worship teams at the church before.”

·       Apr 20 11:53 PM Kris: she acts like my comment is perfectly fine…no reaction to lusting after this other woman.

·       Apr 20 11:54 PM Kris: then I say something completely stupid…I don’t know why…but I say to my wife…

·        Apr 20 11:54 PM Kris: tell her that your husband wants to take her for a ride on his bike.

·       Apr 20 11:54 PM Sassy: Ooops

·       Apr 20 11:55 PM Kris: right! and my wife doesn’t even react…like she didn’t even hear it…and I realize what I said…and think “omg, what’s wrong with you?”

·       Apr 20 11:55 PM Sassy: Easy enough…

·       Apr 20 11:55 PM Kris: what?

·       Apr 20 11:56 PM Sassy: to forget and say that

·       Apr 20 11:57 PM Kris: I know…but I don’t want to tell her yet…especially since she just lost her job and we’re all stressed out about money…she going to have a fit and rightfully so. but it’s done…and I’m looking forward to enjoying it.

·       Apr 20 11:58 PM Sassy: Can she get another job?

·       Apr 20 11:58 PM Kris: part of my “defense strategy” for hiding my affair is talking glibly about “finding a girlfriend” to go along with losing weight, and acting crazy, and so forth.

·       Apr 20 11:59 PM Kris: yes – she can find another job…but sometimes it takes a while…and puts a lot of stress on us in the meantime…with only my income it’s tough

·       Apr 21 12:00 AM Sassy: I hear you

·       Apr 21 12:01 AM Kris: my son is going to go with me to pick up my bike tomorrow…he may even drive it back to the storage shed for me…because right now he’s a more experienced rider than me. I want to take it out on back roads first, instead of the main roads tomorrow from the dealer to the storage shed.

·       Apr 21 12:02 AM Sassy: Sounds like a good plan. I am so bummed I have to work!

·       Apr 21 12:02 AM Kris: why?

·       Apr 21 12:03 AM Sassy: I usually take Patriots Day off but can’t this year

·       Apr 21 12:03 AM Kris: because of your boss being gone?

·       Apr 21 12:03 AM Sassy: Yes

·       Apr 21 12:04 AM Kris: because there are things he/she would be able to do if he/she were there—but now you have to do in his/her absence?

·       Apr 21 12:04 AM Sassy: Sort of

·       Apr 21 12:05 AM Sassy: Also, I got scheduled for a meeting with the big boss, only my 2nd one in over a year of him being there.

·       Apr 21 12:05 AM Sassy: So I have to be in for that

·       Apr 21 12:06 AM Sassy: I hate to say it but I probably should get to bed

·       Apr 21 12:07 AM Kris: no problem…it’s late. I’m glad we could chat just a little while. nite…sweet dreams Sassy

·       Apr 21 12:07 AM Sassy: Mwah!

·       Apr 21 12:07 AM Kris: Mwah!