Sent: Friday, April 4, 2014 11:01 PM
Subject: answer to your question
You asked me a question while you were kissing and groping me in the parking garage (which is something I’ve never done before–and can’t believe I didn’t even care I was in a public place-but you just “got me going.”)…Do you remember what you asked me? You asked: “Can I be the one?”
My answer is “I want you to be…but you’d have to do something for me first.” I don’t want to play games with you…but because I “kind of don’t even want to bring it up”……plus had at least one woman “rip my head off” for even bringing it up…..and because I think you’re REALLY HOT….and very nice to boot…..I kind of don’t want to bring it up…..but have to. So forgive me for “beating around the bush” (no pun intended)—-but I’m going to make you guess what it is. I’ll give you a few clues. Before I “get into something” (physically and literally)—I want to know exactly–100% without any guessing or doubt—“what I’m getting into.”
It’s kind of like why I hardly ever go swimming at the ocean. I’m paranoid of sharks. I know the chances of ever getting attacked by a shark are rare—but people still do. And I just don’t want to be one of them. So I love being on the water in my boat—but don’t “jump in” to the water. My wife, on the other hand, stays in the water all day long and calls me a big wimp and baby for being so scared for nothing. But every once in a while there’s a story about a shark attack that killed someone (in fact there was a story just yesterday on my Yahoo homepage about a woman killed by a shark the other day in CA)–and my “paranoia” is justified.
Now if there were a way for the Coast Guard to “test the waters”—–and “give me the results”—–and show me that the “water was completely free of sharks”–I’d dive right in. But there’s no way they can do that. On the other hand, there is a way to know exactly what is or isn’t “swimming around” in the “pool of our bodies.” So if I had the results of a test showing that—then I wouldn’t fear any “shark bites”—and would jump right in.
Ok….so you’ve probably already figured it out. But here’s another clue. It’s kind of like what actually saved your life. Someone cared enough about you to suggest a routine test that women should have regularly after a certain age. Because you listened to your friend—you caught something soon enough to have it treated. So as painful as the treatment was—it saved your life. This is like that.
Finally, let me tell you why this matters so much to me. I REALLY don’t want to hurt anyone—especially not my wife—-or my extended family. If it were only me—-I would take even bigger risks every day. But truthfully—-I both love my wife and owe her a lot. For one thing—I owe her my sobriety more than anyone else. She has been a good and faithful wife to me. She’s the mother of my children—and even raised my daughter by my first wife for the first two years of our marriage. It’s not just that I don’t want to hurt her by having her catch me cheat on her—-I don’t want to expose her to anything that could potentially hurt her health—or kill her (and you or me).
Ok….now this isn’t rocket science. So you’ve figured it out. If you would do that one thing for me—-I would be happy to pay for half of it. I’ve researched it and a “full battery” covering all the bases doesn’t really cost that much. It would just give me peace of mind—-which I won’t have without it—–no matter what is said. Like when my wife says, “What’s the matter with you? There are no sharks around here—you wimp! Just come swimming!” But I stay in the boat.
Enough of that. I’m one of the few men you’ll probably ever meet that can find a way to say something by writing a whole chapter of a book—- that could have been asked in one, simple, direct sentence. But I’m afraid to ask it……and here’s the reason why:
I DO want you to be the one…….because…..
I liked being with you and you were fun to talk to…..
You have a certain “honest sweetness” about you….a transparency that is unpretentious…..almost a little “naive”….but more like “willing to be vulnerable”…..
You are very eager to please……which is good……but leaves you open to being hurt easily…..but still makes you someone who a man can expect to be treated REALLY WELL by…..
Every act of affection (holding hands and rubbing and caressing them), teasing (sucking my fingers like you would my cock) and direct sex (omg—my balls have been literally aching all night and I’m not going to take care of it myself)………..ALL OF IT was initiated by you…..surprised me…..and I REALLY LIKED IT…….
You are a GREAT KISSER…..(I’m sorry…but when you told me you were before…I thought “That’s got to be b.s.—kissing is kissing—-why does she think she’s so good at it?) But you really ARE…………I’m trying to describe it and it’s hard….I felt like I was being “hypnotized” and stimulated all at the same time. I felt at ease and not uncomfortable—-but I was “off balance” and almost “blushing with excitement”—-like this was all some new experience (which it WAS)……
Then you deeply kissed me right in front of the restaurant…..and I liked it and didn’t even care it was right out in the open…..
And then when you groped and touched and kissed and hugged me in the parking lot……you touched my cock in a way that was in it’s most sensitive spot, and I’m thinking…..”She either got lucky with how she’s doing this….or she knows exactly what she’s doing” (my guess is it was the latter and not the former)……
If you really like sex as much as it appeared you do….like how much you seemed to be enjoying it……that’s what I’m looking for….Part of me was thinking….”Is this an act–or does she really enjoy this this much?” The way you gently started rubbing my chest—it was like you were hypnotizing me or something—–I wanted to be in bed with you someplace—but wouldn’t be able to figure out whether I wanted to fuck you for 3 hours—–or let you put me to sleep…..it was the weirdest feeling…..
Let me go on a little…..
I like your eyes…..
I like your hair—–and that it’s long—-I’m glad it’s not short—–
I know you’re not so sure about it—-but I’ve got a fantasy of you with your hair braided in a pony tail—–and you’re on the back of my bike in leather—-with your long braided hair in a pony tail is flying behind you as we SAFELY cruise along listening to music….
I like your hands—-and your nails are pretty the way you had them done…..
You tasted good……and I don’t know what it was—-but you left some scent on my beard after kissing me that I could keep smelling after….
It seemed a little “kinky”—but I couldn’t help smelling my fingers after touching you….and it was definitely “pussy juice” (or “Sassy Juice!”)—-but clean and sweet—-not “nasty”…….
So now I REALLY WANT YOU……but I need to know 100% first…..then I can really “jump in all the way”……
One last thing……..I can deal with however you want to define “polyamorous” in terms of any kind of “possessive jealousy” or “exclusive rights” issues that could come up. After all—-I would be planning on having sex with two women on a regular basis—-my wife and you. So do I expect to be “your only one”? You asked me: “Can I be the one?” But that’s a different question than if you had asked: “Can you be the one?” That assumes I would be the only one—-which you may not want—-and may need more. So my point is—-it’s not about needing an exclusive relationship with you—-but about “who’s in the pool”—-and what are they bringing in there. It’s about “plain safety”—-not “exclusive rights to someone.”
Ok……so you don’t have to try to answer in an email. I almost didn’t want to try and do this this way. I thought maybe we could meet again and talk about it. But I’m afraid the next time we meet I’ll just forget everything above……and forgive me for saying this……and being so crude…..but just want to fuck your brains out for a whole day in every way possible. (Sorry).
And the reason this is so long (other than that’s just the way I am anyhow)—-is that I already want you so badly for a lover I’m afraid of how you’re going to respond to this. But there’s no way I can’t bring it up—-hope you understand.
Hoping for more groping,
P.S—I’m so nervous about how you’re going to respond to this I’m going to shut my computer off and wait until tomorrow to read your reply. All that being said————I had a GREAT TIME WITH YOU TODAY————THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!