Here’s a question I’ve gotten from several of you lately:
Q. Why do men say they’re going to do something and then they don’t?
A. I don’t know! I’m hoping you can tell me!
I saw this proverb on Jonathan Carroll’s Facebook page this morning and it perfectly sums up an issue that I’ve been thinking about a lot and meaning to blog about.
Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.
You may have noticed in my communications that men often say things that don’t happen. I was really flummoxed by this when it started happening. He’d say, “We should meet next week! I’ll call you to talk about the details. It will be so fun!” And then I don’t hear from him for three weeks. Or he talks about visiting me in Boston – where we’d eat, what we’d do behind closed doors. Sometimes he even talks about a trip he’s planning and how I should meet him and we’d play! Wow! That would be something! Even in small ways… local guys say they will take me out to eat and when I get in the car? Somehow kissing and other stuff turn out to be more important and it turns out they made a hotel reservation and it’s all good except I am STARVING. I bring cereal bars now, just in case!
I used to get my hopes up, start planning and fantasizing and… it didn’t happen. ARRRGH! For awhile, it felt like they were chasing and the moment I said yes, that was it. No need to follow through.
Now I know that it’s “a thing.” Men dream and ask questions to see what’s possible. “Could you fly out to see me?” They don’t mean it. And that’s fine. Now I know that it’s just dreaming. It’s good to make clear what I can do or can’t do. I don’t take it seriously anymore. I don’t believe them until they are here in my arms with their cock in my mouth!
I also know that it is rarely about me. Life happens. They get a new project at work, or a sick child or their grandmother dies or they get caught and re-focus on their marriage and I am no longer a priority. As it should be. Or maybe they mean it at that moment and then start thinking of the logistics and it really is not possible. I get it now.
So I relax. I play along. Maybe I still fantasize a little… and every now and then, dreams do come true!