If you missed the posts about my meeting the Dancing Man, start here.
It is so stunning to be wanted!!!!
And for men to do nice things for me and pay for lunch or a hotel room to get me! And they are nice, smart, sexy, beautiful men! I can get online and find a man, get to know him and be in bed with him less than two weeks later! Why didn’t I do this YEARS AGO?
Sex with a stranger. A new milestone. Of a dubious nature. I certainly feel a long way from the mundane old married woman I’d rather be. But it is so lovely to have physical release, to meet a new man, to feel that calm and confidence. I can please a man even if I don’t have romantic feelings for him. He can please me!
I am learning that the rules are different in the EMR world (extra-marital relations). It’s not about forever or going places together or children or whatever other long term things we think of on the marriage track. It’s about searching for what you want, enjoying each other for as long as it works. Reaffirming your sexuality and desirability, physical satisfaction, experimentation, passion. This week feels like a big fork in the road. This is not where I want to stay, but I hope it is moving me to where I want to be and giving me the tools to get there.
I waited 90 minutes after we parted to see if he’d write, but no. I sent him a short email – two sentences of thanks for the drink and all that followed. No response. Nothing today. It is the weekend but… hmmm. It is not going to surprise me if this was a one night stand. and I am amazingly calm about that. I suppose it is the lack of emotional connection between us, and the possibility of other men.
So… I never heard another word from him. Not one word. That was tough. I HATE SILENCE!
I spent a long time wondering if there was something wrong with me. I was puzzled that I thought it went so well and he didn’t think it was even worth one email more. I wondered if that had been his plan all along, or if something I did or said changed him from a “seeking something long-term” into a one-and-done man?
Note to gentlemen – even if you have made up your mind that you don’t want to see me again – write one email. Thank me, say it was fun, but I’m not the one, best of luck. Don’t make silence the capstone of our encounter.