What If In California

From: Sassy Girl
Subject: 2000 in Santa Rosa
Date: April 15, 2011 12:48:10 AM EDT
To: Phil

HI, Philip,
I finished a story – “2000 in Santa Rosa.”  
I tried something new – this one has photos of a winery, an elegant meal and a whirlpool tub!
Enjoy!  Comment?
(You should be able to see it in the gmail documents folder.  It’s the 5th story (1975, 1977, 1980, 1990, 2000).  If it doesn’t work, let me know.
Have a great weekend! 
-S
=======================

September 2000 in Santa Rosa
It was a perfect late September afternoon in the California wine country.  I was lounging by the hotel pool of the Fountaingrove Inn, looking out at the vineyards of the Paradise Ridge Winery up the hill where a friend got married yesterday.  
Paradise Ridge Winery 
http://www.prwinery.com/

Paradise Ridge vineyards

I stayed an extra day to relax after the festivities, spent the morning driving around the Sonoma hills, and then relaxed at the pool.  I was leafing through a AAA Guidebook, trying to decide where to have dinner, when a dark-haired man sat down on the next chaise over.  I noticed his handsome shoulders in a football team tank top, and his wild floral trunks, then went back to my guidebook, not wanting him to catch me staring.  But he was definitely staring at me.  I wished I had on my more modest swimsuit. 
The waiter came by and he ordered a scotch.  He turned to me.  “Gorgeous day, isn’t it?”
I looked over, nodded and smiled to be polite, then went back to reading.  
“It is you, isn’t it?” he asked.  I looked at his face.  He smiled.  I couldn’t place it.  I had just turned 40, and wondered if my memory was going.  Maybe he’d been at the wedding? 
“Pardon me?” I replied, wondering if this was a new pick-up line angle I hadn’t heard.  
“Sassy?” he said my name.  Oh, dear… this was someone I should know.  I concentrated, staring into his beautiful brown eyes with a very cute twinkle in them, but nothing came to mind.  
“I’m sorry… you are?” I asked, hoping the name would jar something loose.  
“Phil…” he replied.  When I still didn’t reply, he added, “Philip…. from high school,” and suddenly a rush of memories flooded over me.  Flashes of a tall boy with long brown hair, laughing, singing, kissing me…my first grown-up kisses!
“Oh my God,” slipped out as I clapped my hand over my mouth.  This was no wedding guest.
“It is you…” he said in wonder, looking me up and down but returning to my eyes.  “I’ve been standing over there for ages, trying to decide if it could possibly be you, trying to figure out what to do if it was and…damn,” he said.  
Here sat my first high school sweetheart.  We dated… 27 years ago.  Yikes.  For a very intense three weeks.  We didn’t go all the way, but just as I decided I was madly in love with him, he told me he was in love with someone else and wanted to be friends.  So I was his friend and kept my feelings to myself for two years.  Then he disappeared to the military.  Twenty-five years ago.  Holy cow.  
“What are you doing here?” I asked, making it clear I knew who he was.
“I’m here for a military conference.  I decided to tour a winery before I go back,” he said.  “What about you?” he asked.
“A friend got married here yesterday and I took an extra day to relax,” I answered.
“So you’re still in Boston?” he asked.  I was surprised he knew that.  “I read the home town paper,” he said, naming the incredibly nosy newspaper from our little hometown in upstate New York. 
“You’re still in the military?” I asked.  
“Yes, ma’am.  It’s been a good life for me, taken me all over the world,” he said.  “What do you do for work?” he asked.
“I’m an office manager,” I answered.
“Are you married?” he asked, looking down at my left hand with the tell-tale gold band.  
“Yes, four years ago next month,” I said.  “And you?”
“Oh, 20 years for me,” he said.  “You remember Sally?  We have two kids,” he added.  So he married his girlfriend from high school.  And was still with her.  “You have kids?”  
“No kids, two cats,” was all I could think to say to that.
“Where’s your husband?” he asked.  
“At home.  He doesn’t fly,” I said.  He looked surprised, but changed the subject. 
“I’ve thought about you a lot over the years,” he admitted, lowering his voice a bit and leaning closer to me.  That puzzled me.  
“I remember we dated when I was a freshman, and you broke my heart, but it all seems like a long time ago,” I shrugged, trying to make light of it.  
Luckily, he let that go and went on to, “Please have dinner with me?” with the sweetest look I’d ever seen.  I wanted to.  I felt completely comfortable.  Not sure why, because I wasn’t much for keeping up with high school friends or even thinking about that time in my life, but there was no hesitation.  He’d been a good kid, and seemed like a nice man.  He was easy to talk with.  
“Sure, I’d like that,” I answered.  He looked incredibly relieved.  
“I know a great seafood and steak place, just up the road,” he said.  
“I can meet you in the lobby in half an hour?” I offered.  
“Sounds good,” he replied.  
I got up and threw on my big t-shirt and flip flops.  He rose, too.  I had forgotten how tall he was.  He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me, whispering in my ear, “It is so good to see you again.”  
I felt this electric charge go through me.  I thought that was only in the movies or bad romance novels.  I glanced up and I swear he was feeling the same thing.  He smiled and said, “Go put some clothes on before I…” I didn’t let him finish, taking off to my room.  I could hear him chuckling as I ran away.  
I washed up in record time and stood looking at my clothes.  I never think much about what I am going to wear, but it suddenly seemed very important.  I thumbed through everything I’d brought… then decided I was being silly, and put on the dark blue blouse and floral skirt I’d worn this morning.  I put my hair up as always, then looked in the mirror and took it down again.  I was never going to get downstairs at this rate.  I grabbed my purse and took off.  
Philip was leaning against a pillar in the lobby, and looked up the second I came out of the elevator.  He smiled.  He has a beautiful smile.  I could see the kid I had loved so desperately when he smiled.  He had changed into a crisp blue and white striped dress shirt and charcoal slacks, managing to look casual yet elegant at the same time.  
He offered me his arm and asked, “You have a rental car?  Want to drive or should I?” giving me the chance to choose.  I didn’t own a car at home, and didn’t drive much, so I was always glad to have someone else do the honors.  
“You drive,” I said.  He led me out to a gold Chrysler Sebring convertible.  I whistled.
“It was on special at Hertz,” he said, shrugging.  He opened my door and guided me into the seat like a very proper gentleman.  I had not seen that for awhile.  
He started the car and glanced over at me, smiled and drove off down to the road.  He turned on the radio and a 50’s tune poured out from the speakers.  We started singing along.  I watched him drive, marveling at how handsome he was, still trim and tan.  I listened to his silky tenor voice and flashed back to magic evenings I spent listening to him sing with a quartet at church.  I always wished he was singing to me.  
In less than 15 minutes, he pulled into the parking lot of the Villa Restaurant.  He looked over at me and smiled. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he got out and came around to open my door.  He took my hand to help me out of the car, and closed the door for me.  
He didn’t let go, but stood holding my hand and staring at me.  I smiled at him, and he pulled me toward him.  He wrapped his arm around my waist, put the other hand behind my neck and kissed me, very gently, pressing me close with his hand on my back.  He twisted his head and stuck his tongue in my mouth, moaning softly as he flicked my tongue.  Oh my!  He tasted so good!  I added my tongue to his and ran my hands down his back, squeezing his ass.  He gasped and drew back, panting.  He gauged my reaction.  My face probably held equal measures of surprise and lust.  He pressed his forehead against mine.  
“I…wow… that was incredible.  You always were the most amazing kisser,” he said.  “Sorry to spring that on you out here, but I’ve waited 25 years and I couldn’t hold back another moment,” he admitted.  I stared at him, astonished.  I could barely recall anything about us, and he had been pining for me all this time?  Wow.  It was a great kiss…
“What do you want?” I asked, trying to figure out what this was about.
“I want you…” he stated very simply and clearly.  “I want to finish what we started as teenagers, and do it right this time.”  I stared at him, not believing what I was hearing.  
“That’s crazy,” I whispered.  “We’re old, married people…” I pointed out quietly.  
“I know…but this feels separate,” he said.  “Doesn’t it?” He rubbed my back and pressed me back against the car.  There was no mistaking my effect on him.  It made me ache inside.  That had not happened to me in a long time.  In fact, I had thought those feelings were over for me.  
“It does feel… amazing, but I don’t know…” I trailed off.  
“Do you remember how good we were?” he asked.  
“No, I…” I started to say, but then some long-dormant area of my brain piped up, “there was chemistry.”  
“That’s right.  Don’t worry… we’ll figure it out.  We’ll eat, we’ll talk… I won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he assured me. 
He stepped back and offered me his arm again, guiding me into the restaurant.  He spoke with the hostess, and we were seated at the white leather banquet in a quiet corner near the window, beside each other at a circular table, with a spectacular view of a vineyard and the hills in the twilight.
  
She handed us the leather-bound menus, then retreated.  A waiter came over to get our drink order.  Philip ordered a beer and I got iced tea.  
He glanced around the restaurant, checking to see if anyone was watching us.  It was still early, so we were mostly alone and the others were facing the windows.  He turned and kissed me quickly, putting his hand on my knee under the table.  “I don’t know how I am going to get through this dinner,” he whispered.  “All I can think about is being alone with you…” he sighed.  
He played with my hair, twirling a lock of it around his fingers.  “I can’t believe you still have your gorgeous long hair,” he said, his eyes glowing.  “I remember…” he trailed off.  “I’ve thought about you…what we did.  What might have happened.  When I’m alone… when I touch myself… I think of your hands on me,” he admitted.  “I wanted to find you, see if we still have the chemistry.”
“You… used me as your jumping off point all these years?” I asked, flattered and astonished.  He nodded. “I’m amazed that you’re still interested now that you’ve seen me… I feel like such a chubby old lady these days,” I confessed.  
“Hey, we’re all a little thicker in the middle!  It’s you… I can see the same sassy girl, easily,” he said.  “And most of the appeal is in your attitude, anyway.”  His eyes glowed with the truth of it.  “Your husband is a lucky guy,” he added.  
I closed my eyes, trying to decide if I could tell him one of my biggest secrets.  It seemed completely natural to tell him, even if it would make me look bad.  “I don’t know why I trust you to tell you this.  I haven’t told anyone else.  But…we don’t, I mean he doesn’t…want me anymore.  He says I’m not attractive.  He won’t let me touch him or…anything.”  I looked down at the table.
Philip let out a snort.  “What?! He’s an idiot!” he exclaimed forcefully.  “You are one sexy woman… you deserve better than that!  And you can touch me whenever you like…” he offered.  “Wherever you like,” he added, winking at me.  “My wife and I never clicked in bed.  We’re good friends, we do it out of habit but it’s not… like we are,” he explained.  I shook my head sadly that neither of us had what we needed at home.  
He got a very devilish look on his face.  He ran his finger up my leg under my skirt.  I trembled and crossed my legs, trapping his hand.  He grinned and gave me a saucy look.  I relented and spread my legs for him.  He ran a finger along the edge of my underwear.  My eyes grew wide and he paused briefly.  I thought he was done so I let out a relieved sigh, but he stuck his finger inside me!  He held my gaze as he dipped in and out.  I suddenly felt so warm, I thought I would set the tablecloth on fire!  He took his hand away and licked his finger!  
“Oh, girl.  You taste so good… just like I remember,” he sighed.  I searched my memory for when he might have touched me like that before, but nothing surfaced.  
“The school bus,” he whispered.  I gave him a blank look.  “We were returning from a field trip, cuddled in the back row?  You were leaning back against me, with a coat over your lap, classmates all around us… and I put my fingers inside you.”  I shook my head.  I had no idea I had been such a hussy!  “You were so hot…so wet,” he sighed. 
The waiter coughed at his elbow.  “Are you ready to order?” he asked.  Neither of us had cracked the menu.
“Two minutes more,” Philip told him.  He picked up the menu.  I tried to focus on mine, but the text swam in front of my eyes.
“What about starting with the Oysters Rockefeller, Caesar salads, then the filet mignon and lobster tail?” he asked. 
“Sounds delicious,” I said, too keyed up to care.  But I wasn’t surprised that he chose my favorites. 
“And some red wine…hmmm…” he said, flipping to the other menu.  
“Oh, I don’t drink liquor, but you go right ahead,” I said.  The waiter reappeared and Philip ordered, pleasantly chatting and making a new friend of the server.  They conferred about wines while I took in the view.  
“I love lobster,” he said wistfully.
“Oh, yes,” I replied.  “I like it the simple way – steamed and dipped in butter!” 
“Oh, yeah.  Though I eat it any way it comes – bisque, stuffed, fra diablo, sushi… Whenever I get to New England, I eat it every night.  And sometimes a lobster roll for lunch,” he admitted.  
“I go through spells like that, especially in the summer,” I agreed.  “One year I had three lobsters in four days over my birthday weekend!”  
“I remember your 14th birthday… your dad sent me to help you out with odd jobs around the Fall Fair at church… we had a great time! I think it was the first time I noticed how cute you were, and how much fun you were,” he mused.  
“I loved it when the fair was on my birthday… felt like the entire event was for me!”  I remembered. 
“My birthday is coming up.  So this could count as my birthday lobster!” he said.  “Can I have you for dessert?” he whispered.  I looked at his face, so earnest, maybe even a little nervous.  
“We’ll see,” I said, smiling.  It began to seem more and more possible.  Though it was hard for me to believe he’d really want to do anything when he saw how much my body had changed since we were in high school.  The waiter brought the oysters appetizer.  We savored the crispy bacon and spinach mixed with delicious oysters.  

I wondered if he’d ordered them for their aphrodisiac properties.  As if I needed anything to increase my attraction to him!  
“I want to make love to you, every way we can think of,” he whispered sweetly.  “I want you to taste you.  You never let me do it right,” he said.  
“I thought nice girls didn’t allow that,” I explained. “So strange what we could and couldn’t do.”  
“And I want you to touch me,” he said.  “You never touched me,” he mused. 
“I didn’t?  Hmmmm… probably more of that ‘don’t be a slut’ stuff,” I pondered.  But I wanted to do it now.  
“But you’ll touch me now, yes?” he asked.  I reached under the table and pressed my hand at his crotch.  He inhaled suddenly, closed his eyes and worried his lips with his teeth.  I very quietly unzipped his fly and his eyes sprang open.  He stared into my eyes as I pressed my fingers inside and touched his skin, running my finger up and down his hard shaft.  
“That may be the most direct and satisfying answer I’ve ever gotten in my life,” he joked.  I decided to tantalize him even more.  
“If you ask me very nicely, I’ll put my hands on you, find that special spot on the underside and make you throb until you think you’ll explode.  And then I will put my mouth on you and suck your cock so far down my throat…” His eyes grew wide, and I winked at him as I ran my finger around the tip of his cock and licked my lips slowly.  
“Wench,” he whispered fiercely, looking very pleased.  He pushed my hand away as the waiter set our salads on the table.  I sat there wondering where on earth those sentences had come from.  He certainly inspired a very different side of me!
I munched my way through the Caesar salad, marveling at the garlic and creamy dressing. 

I somehow “lost” a crouton down inside my blouse, so I had to unbutton a couple of buttons to retrieve it.  The look on Philip’s face when I revealed my ample cleavage was quite rewarding!  I had never done anything like that before.  He generously offered to help me button it back up, and touched me in a way that made me resolve to get sloppy with my food more often!
He told me about amazing meals he’d had all over the world.  He had a way of describing a meal that took me there, filled my senses with the sights and smells and sounds of another place – Italy, Turkey, St. Thomas… he had definitely taken advantage of the places the military had sent him!  I told him about my favorite restaurants around Boston and my travels in the U.S.  It was incredible how far we both had come from our small town origins!
We fed each other bites of steak…perfectly cooked.  And the delicious stuffed lobster.  

I twirled a spear of asparagus into my mouth in a certain way that made him smile and roll his eyes.  He held my hand, and kissed me several times when we just could not resist a moment longer.  I could not believe how comfortable, and sexy, he made me feel!  
Finally, the waiter asked if we were ready for dessert.  Philip asked if I wanted anything.  I wondered aloud if we had time.  He said we did.  So I asked for the chocolate raspberry cake, and he ordered the affogato with espresso, and a scotch, the Glenmorangie 10 year.  
“Would you like coffee or tea?” the waiter asked me. 
“No thanks,” I responded to the waiter.  He headed off.  “I don’t do hot beverages,” I explained to Philip.  

We savored the sweet tastes, and he told me about trying Highland versus Lowland scotch, and how great it was to find a restaurant with his favorite.  
He asked the waiter for the bill.  My mobile phone rang.  He looked surprised – they were still a rare thing in many areas.  I grabbed it from my purse and answered it quietly.
“Hi, hang on a sec,” I told my husband.  I looked at Philip apologetically, and he shrugged as I took off toward the ladies room.  I popped into the phone booth in the hallway and closed the door.   We caught up on our day.  He told me about our cats’ latest antics, and how much he missed me.  I told him about the beautiful weather, and the pool, and running into an old boyfriend from high school and my incredible dinner.  I did leave out certain details about where my hands had been during that dinner.  He agreed to meet me at the airport tomorrow.  I expected a wave of guilt to pour over me.  But it never surfaced.  
Philip was paying the bill when I returned.  “Everything okay?” he asked.  I nodded and smiled.  He took my hand to lead me out of the restaurant.  
“How long have you had that phone?” he asked.  
“Since April.  I’m not usually an early adopter on the technology front, but my husband had surgery and I had to be reachable, trying to balance working and taking care of him,” I explained. 
“Do you have a computer at home? Email?” he asked.  
“Oh, yes…been doing that for ages… let’s see… almost seven years now,” I remembered.  “I met my husband on the internet,” I told him.  He raised an eyebrow.  “He moved to Boston from the Midwest to be with me,” I told him.  That was getting more common now, but back then it had been unheard of.  
“So I could email you?” he asked.  
“Sure, as long as you don’t send me those awful forwards,” I joked.  He groaned.  
“So… you’re room or mine?” he asked as we reached the car.  This was it.  I had to decide.  Except I had already decided.  It seemed completely natural to be alone with him.  
“My plane is at 10:30 am, so I have to be out of the room by about 7 am,” I said.  
“Yeah…mine is later.  So your place.  Are you flying out of SFO?  I could drive you down there,” he offered.  
“Yes… that would be lovely.  That means I could leave a little later,” I said, wondering how big a mess I would be trying to say good-bye to him by that point. 
“There’s no one around the hotel to cause you a problem if they see us, is there?” he asked, being very courteous to think of that. 
“No… I don’t think so.  But that’s a good question,” I complimented him.  
He opened the car door for me, but held me for a long kiss, pressing his body against me, so I could feel him hard against me.  He kissed his way down my neck and put his hand on my breast, squeezing gently.  “I ache to be inside you,” he whispered.  “It’s been that way for years, and I thought it was a bad as it could be, but seeing you has made it ten times worse.”
He pushed himself away and tucked me into the seat, then strode around the car and jumped in, taking off to drive back to the hotel.  I put my hand on his knee and made little circles while he drove.  He smiled over at me.  It was such a luxury to be able to touch a man!   He parked and turned to me, taking my hand.  
“You okay?  Want to change your mind?” he asked.
“I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time,” I told him.  I stroked his cheek and kissed him.  He popped out of the car and raced around to help me out.  We went in, straight to the elevator.  He held my hand, stroking my wrist with his thumb.  
I got out my keycard and opened the door with him pressed against my back.  The moment the door closed, he turned me around and wrapped me in his embrace, kissing me deeply and starting to take off my blouse.  He unbuttoned it in record time, pulled it off my shoulders, then unsnapped my bra from the back with both hands and took that away as well.  He stared at my chest, lifting each breast with his hands and putting his mouth on one nipple while tweaking the other.  I thought my knees would buckle.  The electricity shot straight between my legs.  
“You still have gorgeous tits,” he said in awe.  It was hard to believe he could find them attractive, but the look on his face was convincing.  He wrapped his arms around me and put his hands inside my slacks, grabbing my ass.  “Oh, baby…I always had a thing for your ass…” he admitted.  “It looked so hot in the tight jeans your wore… and I’ll never forget the overalls you had on at camp… how easy it was to get my hands down the back of those!” he sighed.  I couldn’t believe the details his mind had retained!  I squirmed as one of his fingers found its way around to the front and inside me.  My hips rolled toward his hand.  
“Oh, girl… you are so wet…” he reported.  I was relieved that my body still knew how to react. He pressed me against the wall.  He rolled my slacks and underwear down as he knelt and put his mouth on me.  I gasped.  He bit me gently and started sucking on me… using his tongue on my sensitive spot to drive me absolutely crazy!   I was surprised that he would pleasure me first…
I thought I was going pass out.  But he held me up, teasing me until I could feel the muscles inside me start to react.  I clawed the wall.  I knew I should be talking, telling how he made me feel so fabulous, but my brain refused to do anything but take in his every move and make my hips buck toward his tongue.  I put my hands on his head and drew him even closer, running my fingers through his hair and moaning softly. 
“I have wanted to do this for so long… you are so hot… I remember your taste… let go, girl… come on my tongue,” he urged me and I relaxed, letting the waves of heat pour over me.  My breathing was out of control and my body twitched, my head thrashing against the wall.  
“You… are… driving me… crazy,” I managed to say.  “So good…” then only little squeaks and moaning, as he increased the pace and I exploded, shaking all over as every nerve reacted to his work inside me.  
“That’s the way…” he told me.  “Damn, you are so gorgeous when you come…” he sighed.  He drew back, smiling and I panted, smiling back.  He rose and kissed me.  I tasted my juices on his lips.  I held on to him and started aching for him to fill me.  
“Mmmmm… very good start,” I managed to say at last.  
“Yes… you… it’s easy to tell that you liked that,” he chuckled.  
He stepped back and looked around the room for the first time, noticing the huge whirlpool tub.

“Oh, wow…” he whistled.  
“Yeah… the joys of California,” I giggled. 

“Can we try it?” he asked.

“Sure,” I replied.  I turned on the water.  He took off his clothes. I ogled his beautiful body… he had obviously kept working out all these years.  It made my fingers itch to touch him.  And I could see that I was having a certain effect on him.  He caught me staring and smiled.  

“Like something you see, Sass?”  I had forgotten that he called me that.  He was the only one in the world.  It made me tingle!  I smiled at him and he helped me finish taking off my clothes.  He hopped into the tub and offered me his hand.  
He settled in on one of the molded shelves and pulled me down on top of him.  He kissed me and I kissed him back as the warm water swirled around us.  The feel of our bodies, wet and sliding together, was incredible!  I marveled at how we fit together… and suddenly remembered that it has always been that way.  
“I planned to do all sorts of things first, but you have me so hot, right now I just want to be inside you,” he said.  “I can’t get you pregnant… had a vasectomy.  And I’m clean… no diseases.  But if you worried about it, I have condoms,” he said.  It suddenly became very clear what we were about to do.
“It’s okay.  I’m clean, too, got tested recently for life insurance,” I was amazed we were able to be so practical at such a moment, but very relieved he’d brought it up.  “I’m just… out of practice,” I admitted.  
“I’ve heard it’s like riding a bicycle… it will come back to you,” he advised.  I moved him over a bit, so one of the warm water jets pounded his ass.  He moaned.  He pulled me up so the jet landed between my legs.  I let out a sigh of pleasure.  We both turned so our shoulders got pounded.  
He turned to sit on the shelf and pulled me up so my knees were on either side of his hips.  He put my hand on his cock and I circled him, pumping him gently.  He smiled as I pressed gently on the underside and pulled a bit. 
“Sassy… I should tell you why I… mmmmm…. I love you,” he told me for the first time.  My eyes grew wide.  I had always wanted to hear those words from him!  He added, “I’ve always loved you,” and I thought my heart would explode out of my chest.  I was taken aback.  It was time to tell him another big secret I had kept for years.  
“I love you, Philip,” I replied.  It felt so good to finally tell him.  His smile was so bright!  
“And…” he prompted me, teasing my nipple between his fingers.  
“And I’ve loved you since I was 14 years old,” I admitted.  
“I knew it… I was counting on that,” he said.  
“I thought I hid it so well!” I sighed.
“You couldn’t hide how you looked at me, how you reacted when I touched you, or how you touched me,” he explained.  
“I’ve forgotten a lot, but not the most important thing,” I assured him. 
He moaned…and I pressed him up inside me.  I sank down until he was deep inside.  He stared into my eyes.  I had this strange and wonderful feeling, like a missing piece of my life had clicked into place.  The water was pounding around us, and we started pounding each other, me rising and sinking down over him, his hips rising up to meet me… thrust after thrust.  
“Oh, girl, I have played this over in my mind hundreds of times, but it was never… I didn’t know how good… damn, you were made for me,” he said so beautifully.  I was beyond most deep thought, with only three words playing in my mind.
“Wow.  We fit…,” I whispered, shifting slightly, coming down with him even deeper inside me.  His head rolled back against the side of the tub, and he had the most fabulous smile on his face.  He breathed a bit faster. 
“You are so tight…so good around me,” he sighed.  
“You are so hot…so hard…” I murmured.  It seemed very important to make him understand… “this is…by far… the best… ever,” I told him.  I started to melt… I couldn’t think anymore, with all the blood from my brain rushing lower.  I squeezed his hips with my knees and could feel the muscles inside me start to contract.  He felt it, too, and took it as his signal to go wild, bucking against me.  I arched my back and drove down one last time.  He shuddered, and thrust up and pulsed inside me.  The jets from the tub stopped as we did… timing out as we reached our climax.  We sat panting and smiling.  I was stunned.  
“That was…incredible,” Philip told me.  “You okay?” 
“Oh,  yes.  I’ve never been better in my entire life,” I said, so filled with joy that I had to laugh.  I hugged him and kissed him, nibbling on his lower lip.  
“Bed?” he asked.
“Mmmm… sounds good, kid,” I answered, stretching like a satisfied cat.  
“You do make me feel like a kid again, in the best possible way,” he mused. 
“Good,” I sassed him, tweaking his left nipple. 
“Come on, girl,” he said, lifting me up and out of the water, setting me gently on the floor.  I grabbed a couple of towels and started drying him off in a rather provocative way.  He returned the favor until we were both dry but overheated!
“What next?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“What do you want to do… what do you dream about?” I explained. 
“Oh… I have a vivid imagination,” he said, winking.
“Tell me… “ I coaxed him.
“I dunno… I have some pretty wild ideas,” he demurred.  “I don’t want to freak you out.”  
“Say it…you know you can,” I assured him.  “Complete this sentence: ‘I would love if it you would….” I said, trying to make it easier.
“Anything to do with my ass drives me wild.  Don’t know why, just always wanted it…” he said.

“Well, let’s see what I can do about that,” I answered playfully, winking at him.  
I lay down on the bed and he started to stretch out beside me, but I guided him to roll over on his stomach.  I straddled him and massaged his shoulders, kissing the back of his neck on each side.  Then I rubbed his back, taking handfuls of muscles, kneading and pummeling.  He relaxed, breathing deeply and sighed.  I worked my way down his back, until I had his cheeks in each hand – lifting, separating, rubbing… he moaned softly.  
I moved down his body, sliding my breasts against his back, making my way down until my head was between his legs.  I licked my way down the crack in his ass and his hips popped off the bed.

“Hmmmm….. that was interesting,” I sassed him. 
“Ahhh… Mmmmm…” was all he could manage with my mouth on him.  I bit him very gently on either side of the crack and he squirmed.  I put one hand under him to stroke his balls and he moaned again.   I took a couple of deep breaths and blew on his ass.  Then waited a couple of moments to make him wonder what would be next…  he twitched.  
I stuck my tongue in his ass and twirled around, dipping in and out.  
“Oh!”  He bucked up, squirming.  “I love it when you read my mind…” he sighed.  
“I’m going to put my finger inside me…” I told him and he moaned.  “Then put it inside you,” I added.  He trembled.  I carried out my plan, using my juices to wet my finger, then pressing it inside him.   I established a rhythm, then stopped when he was about to peak.  Then started again.  He was panting and rocking against my finger.  
“Damn, girl, that… that is so hot,” he complimented me.  I carried on with it for a bit longer, then shifted around to get my face between his legs and pull him up onto his knees.  I stroked his balls and licked them, and he moaned sweetly.  I put my hands on him and pumped him into my mouth.  He gasped and shifted to give me better access.   
“Oh…that feels so… so good..mmmmm….” he encouraged me.  I licked and teased the tip, then pressed him deeper into my throat.  I sucked on him, tasting sweet pre-cum.  Seems like everything about him is sweet!  
I moved up under him, and put his cock between my breasts, using my elbows to press them around him.  
“Oh, yeah… been imagining this, too,” he told me, twisting his hips to move up and down my chest.   
He sat up against the headboard and urged me onto his lap, with my back against his chest.  He put a hand on each of my breasts and pulled me back against him.  He kissed and bit his way from my neck out to my shoulder on one side, then did the same for the other side.  
“You are the most incredible, generous…I can’t believe what you’ll do with me…I…I want to…mmmm… be inside you again,” he said and pressed against me, testing and teasing me.  
He licked my ear, and tweaked my nipples, then pressed inside me, spreading my legs to get a better angle.  He moved very slowly… taking his time, massaging my right breast with one hand and fingering my clit with the other hand.  My head lolled back against his shoulder and I arched my back as the heat began to pour through me.  What an interesting position!  
“You like having me inside you?” he asked. 
“No…” I said, in a sassy way to let him know I was teasing.  “I adore having you inside me,” I stated.  
“Vixen,” he cooed. “Dark-haired…busty vixen… with a fabulous ass!” he chanted, moving in and out, bouncing me up and down to the same beat.
“You turn me into a big bundle of want,” I told him.  “And then you satisfy me… like no man ever has,” I told him.  “But you make it… fun!” I added, smiling and shaking my head in wonder.  I shifted my hips a bit and it gave him more access.  “And then you make me want you again….” I added, realizing that was an entirely new sensation for me.  Sex had mostly been a chore for me in the past, and that was changing fast at the hands of one man.  There was something really incredible about talking with him inside me…comfortable and sexy and wild in an entirely new way.  
“I love how you tell me how me how you feel… how you show me that what I’m doing affects you… tell me what you want…” he told me, rolling his hips around under me.
“Yes… you… talking… very good.   It makes it better…much better,” I confirmed, twisting to meet his latest thrust.  “I’m so glad you talked to me at the pool,” I told him, running my fingers across his face and into his hair behind me.  
“Yeah… that has worked out better than even I could imagine,” he chuckled.
“I wish you had found me earlier…” I sighed.  “Before I had so much time to make a fool of myself with other men… and get married to a…”  I stopped that train of thought before it got out-of-hand.  
“Life is strange,” he mused.  “But I’m here now… and we’re going to make the very best of it!” he crowed, shoving even deeper inside me.  
He rolled me off and onto my side, curling around me and kissing me deeply.  I put my leg over his hip and gently pressed him up and back inside me.  He grabbed my ass and squeezed each cheek.  I reached down to grab his ass, pressing him deeper and running my finger all the way down the crack and circling his most sensitive spot.  He growled in a very sexy way.  
“Mmmm…. girl… I can not talk when you do that…” he said.
“That’s okay,” I assured him.  “There are times for talking and there are times for fucking.”  He slapped my ass for that, and started moving like a wild man, thrusting deeper and deeper inside me, then rolling me onto my back and pulling my heels over his shoulders.  My hips popped off the bed to meet his, and the feel of him pounding inside me sent me off into outer space!  I watched his face… listened to the sounds of him slapping against me, and his moans… then I couldn’t anymore… my head was thrashing and I was shaking and clenching around him… and feeling like a woman as never before!  Wow… 
He thrust twice more and grabbed my hips as he reached his own climax.  His jaw tightened and he trembled… such a sight!  There is nothing sexier. He came inside me… pulsing over and over.  I could not believe the stamina of this man!  He took great gulping breaths then settled back on the bed on his back.  He held my hand and we stared at the ceiling. 
“Do you feel guilty?” he asked.  I wondered where that thought had come from.
“No.  To be completely honest, I haven’t thought about it, which surprises me.  I am usually such a ‘goody-two-shoes.’ You?”  I asked.  
  
“No… and same for me.   It’s odd, but nice.  This feels… right,” he stated.  We stayed there there calm and peaceful… with him making little circles on my wrist with his finger.  
“Will you tell him?” he asked.  
“Probably.  He’ll find it exciting and be happy for me,” I said. 
“That’s unusual…” he commented.  I don’t think he believed me.  
“I assume you can’t tell Sally?” I asked.
“Ah, no.  She’d be furious if she found out.”  He sighed.
“Well, she won’t hear it from me!” I assured him.  I rolled over to kiss his shoulder, and made little circles on his chest with my fingers.
“I want to see you again, Sass,” he said.  “I don’t know when or where, but…we’ll eat lobster!”
“I’d like that,” I told him.  
“You won’t forget me again, right?” he teased me.  
“I promise,” I said, hugging him.  He looked at the bedside clock and sighed.  I knew that meant it was time to get ready to go.  
“Shower?” he asked.  
“Sure!”  I rolled out of the bed and raced him to the bathroom.  There was a huge shower stall with three heads at various heights, and a shelf running around two sides.  I had never seen anything like that.  He turned on the water and extended a hand to me to drag me under the water.  We had a fun time with the soap, teasing and poking and laughing and rinsing.  
Suddenly the mood changed.  He pressed me against the shower wall, kissing me long and deep.

“Once more…” he said.  “I need you again,” he sighed.
“Aren’t you tired of me yet?” I kidded him.  
“Oh, girl, I don’t think that will ever happen.  I’ve never felt this way,” he whispered.  He moved me onto the shelf, lifted my legs around his waist, then pressed into me again.  We rocked together in the steamy air.  I tried to savor ever second, every moment, every sound… I knew would need these memories to keep me warm for a long time.  Then I pushed those thoughts away as his thrusts made my hips respond and he took me to new heights.  I stayed in his arms, panting, rubbing his back…he finally moved and pulled me under the water for a final rinse, then rinsed off himself.  We got out and he handed me a towel.  I dried my hair and then my body.  He watched me brush out my hair.  
“I’ll go get my stuff.  Back in a few, okay?” he asked.  He kissed me and went to the other room to dress and disappeared.  I finished in the bathroom, then tossed my stuff into my suitcase and got dressed, trying to keep busy, be sure I was ready when he returned, and not think.  
He returned just as I was zipping up my suitcase.  He looked so handsome in a football shirt and worn jeans.  He set down his bag and grabbed me for a long kiss.  He had shaved and smelled amazing.  I held his face in my hands, and stroked his skin.  He grabbed a paper bag from the bed and pulled out an orange juice for me and a coffee for himself, and two ham and cheese croissants! 
“I hope you like ham and cheese croissants,” he said.  I grabbed it from him and hugged him.  
“These are one of my absolute favorite things!”  I told him.  
“It seems like you like what I like, so I took a chance,” he explained.
“Very good thought!” I told him.  I sat on the edge of the bed, savoring the taste of the warm pastry.  He sat next to me, sipping his coffee.  
I checked around to be sure I had everything.  I pulled a business card from my purse, wrote my home info, email and mobile phone on the back and gave it to him.  He put it in his wallet behind a photo.   He grabbed a pad from the nightstand and wrote his info down for me.  I folded it and put it in my purse.  Then we we wheeled our luggage out to the car. 
“You only brought that little suitcase?” he asked.  
“Yes, I travel light,” I replied.  
He piled the suitcases into the trunk and settled me into the passenger seat.  We cruised down the coast, singing to golden oldies and marveling at the view of the ocean in the morning sun.  I thought he would drop me off, but he parked in the short term lot and insisted on rolling my bag in for me.  He used his ticket to get through security with me and walked me all the way to the gate!  
He pulled me behind a pillar and hugged me tight.  
“You had a good time, didn’t you?” he asked.  I didn’t answer right away, lost in the incredible memories of the past few hours.  How could it be less than 24 hours ago that he first spoke to me?  He pulled my chin up so he could see my face and I realized he was concerned that I had not answered.  “Sass?”  
“Yes, kid.  It was incredible,” I assured him. I squeezed his ass, and slipped a mushy note into his back pocket.  He patted it and smiled.  I hoped he’d remember to take it out before his wife did the laundry.  But I had not signed my name… 
“Me, too.  No regrets.  I’ll be in touch when I can,” he promised. “I love you,” he whispered and hugged me tightly again.
“I will always love you,” I told him.  I kissed him.  The pre-boarding announcement started.
“Go now.  I’ll be okay,” I said.  
“I wish…” he started.
“I know.”  He kissed me and stepped back.
“Bye, girl.  Have a good flight,” he wished me.  And he walked away.  
I watched him go up the concourse, smiling at his gorgeous butt.  Then turned to get in line to board.  I thought I’d be crying, but my heart was filled with so much love, I smiled and smiled.  I pondered why God would send me such a bright shiny love and sexy man, only to take him away again so quickly.  But it had been 35 years… I couldn’t hope to make sense of it so quickly.  Patience… patience… all good things come to those who wait?  
There was a tap on my shoulder, and Philip was hugging me tight again.
“I just couldn’t go without…” he whispered in my ear, “touching you once more.”  
“Oh, you wonderful man,” I told him.  I rubbed his back and kissed his neck.
“How can I stand it?  Being away from you?” he asked in the most agonized voice. 
“You do what you have to do.  You know how to do that, right?” I asked. 
“Yes, but this feels different,” he said.
“Call me.  Email me.  Send post cards,” I suggested.  “Look for a time to get together.  I can come to you.  Or you can visit me whenever.”  
“Yes, yes… I know that with my head.  But my heart… my body…” he said.  
“We’ll figure it out. You have all sorts of good, new memories. And you gave me back some very interesting old ones.”  He smiled at that.  
“Yes…true,” he said.  That seemed to calm him down a bit.  
They announced my row to board.  I hugged him tightly and stepped away.  I smiled at him.  He squeezed my hand.  
He stood back and watched me until I went up the gangway.  I turned and blew him a kiss.  He smiled and waved.  
I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.  

Lobster porn

April 13 8:04 am 
Good morning! Rainy 40s all day…ah, April showers! 
Hope you have a wicked wonderful Wednesday!

April 13 2:58 pm
Still raining. Assistant took 2 hr lunch w/o calling to tell us why 
she was late, missed a meeting she “forgot” then argued w/ me
about what we assigned her to do in the meeting she missed.
Ah, being a boss is so much fun! 
I bet you don’t have to deal with crap like this!

April 13 9:33 pm 
Hope you had a good day!
Amazing dinner out at a new place… Brunella Bistro.
We had a groupon. 
lobster bisque and lobster gnocchi with 1/2 a lobster tail.

Good, but I won’t pine for it.
Doesn’t fill that “steamed with butter” craving.

April 13 11:11 pm
Headed to bed.
Still smiling about your toes. Silly me. 
Fun to see your desk at last.
Ah, the ideas that spawns.
Sleep well, sweet man.

Late Night Shoulder chat

Chat February 1, 2011

12:17am 
You want to talk about it?
Or something else to forget?
12:18am Phil
He was gonna get tossed out on Friday. Million calls to make. 
It’s a shame
12:19am
I hear you.
Does this happen often there?
12:20am Phil
Hope not but it’s not the first, won’t be the last
12:21am
There’s a standard procedure to follow now?
12:21am Phil
Oh yeah
12:21am
People to help you with it?
12:22am Phil
Will be a week of phone calls and questions
12:22am
I’m so sorry…
12:23am Phil
It’s ok. Comes with the job
12:23am
I know.  Still sucks.  
But I’m glad it’s you in that chair.  You have a heart.
12:24am Phil
I try
12:25am
You in the office?
12:28am Phil
We get a couple a year. Lots of stress
12:29am
Lots of snow?
12:30am Phil
Just starting
12:30am
They’re saying 21 inches here, mostly late Tuesday/into Wed
I’m trying not to take it personally…
I had all these plans that are now scuttled…
I wish you had been with me at dinner tonight…
Incredible food
Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese…



12:32am Phil
Cool. Lobster maki rolls looked amazing
12:32am
They had about a dozen different lobster things… so hard to choose.  
I went for the simplest thing. 
wanted the pure taste… 
not some black bean, super chili or crispyfied thing
12:33am Phil
That’s how I like it
12:33am
It’s an odd little storefront in a suburb, 



then inside is this chic pan Asian bistro


12:33am Phil
Just lobster and butter please
12:34am
yup
Have you tried any out there?
12:35am Phil
No, have not been many places but will
12:37am
New kitties are hiding. typical
12:38am Phil
Yeah, cute cats
12:39am
do you know the Harry Potter books?
12:39am Phil
Yup
12:39am
Someone said we should call them Fred and George. 
12:40am Phil
Geez
12:40am
Not doing that.
someone else said Merry and Pippin, after Lord of the Rings
12:42am Phil
They are really cute
12:42am
one is very shy, the other very forward
Can you sleep soon?
12:48am Phil
Gonna hit the hay. Pooped
12:48am
Good to gear up for tomorrow. 
Thanks for sharing with me…
Wish I could do more for you.
12:49am Phil
It’s ok. Thank you
12:49am
Ping if you need to blow off steam or whatever, you know?
12:50am Phil
K
12:50am
I’m here for you. 
Sleep well. 

Dinners

Phil December 17 at 1:38pm
Huh?
Phil December 17 at 1:39pm 
On my way west to see the folks! Wearing my new t-shirt 🙂

December 17 at 2:24pm
Yay! You survived the conference!
Feel like talking? Call me? I have nothing to do at work, as usual. Had a busy morning. Went to out for lunch with a senior staffer. Would love to tell you about it…
December 17 at 3:55pm
Great to chat. Turkey trot = Abby’s dance on NCIS. Hope the new shirt is comfy. Get someone to take a photo? Would love to see you in it!
December 17 at 11:35pm
Hiya, kid. Did you have a grand night with the family?
I went to see my dad at the nursing home. He seems well cared for. Hubby and I had dinner with my sister and her familiy at this Colonial home in Woburn that looks the furthest thing from a Chinese restaurant – bright yellow with frilly trim. But it houses the most authentic Sichuan place around. I ate hot & sour soup, pork dumplings and stir-fried filet mignon with mushrooms and onions and spinach. Yum.
Sleep well, sweet man.


Phil December 18 at 6:56am
Having dinner at the Land and Sea Grill Steak House in Saugerties. Oh my God!

December 18 at 8:45am
OMG! That menu looks amazing! Did you add to your lobster count? (your msg came thru Saturday morning…)

Phil December 18 at 8:53am
I did

December 18 at 8:54am
Good morning! Pretty morning here.. 25 degrees, sun, high clouds, calm… need to get a bunch of errands done – post office, bank, then go to project meetings. What are you up to?

Phil December 18 at 8:59am
The lobster bisque came with a lobster tail in it. I had the seafood fra diablo, escargo with button mushrooms


TEXT
9:03 am Phil: [photo of plate of food]

December 18 at 9:03am
I can’t believe how far you folks drive for dinner! My older sister’s partner is from near there. They were just there, as his mom is not well. It still manages to surprise me how tightly intertwined our lives are, in terms of places you know that I know etc. but when you’re up here, it gets really clear.
December 18 at 9:05am
OMG. I may have to get in the car. Lobster in the bisque? That is decadent! (I had a very strong feeling that you had bisque when I saw that menu…) And snails? Yum. I would’ve begged for tastes of all that! Oh, man… drooling now.

TEXTS
9:25 am Me: Whoa!  What is that?
9:26 am Phil: Lobster Fra diavlo
9:26 am Me: Envy!
9:28 am Phil: Was amazing!
9:29 am Me: Spicy? I’ve never had it…
9:31 am Phil: Oh yeah, was awesome

Phil December 18 at 9:59am
Saugerties is so pretty. All the lights. Not that far a drive, have eaten there before. One of my favorites. Great people own and run it. Amazing food, great service, very friendly.

TEXTS
9:59 am Me: Dessert?
10:03 am Phil: Crème Brule
10:12 am Me: Scotch?
10:43 am Phil: Of course
December 18 at 11:28am
Hope it wasn’t too much FB msgs and texts. It’s so fun!
Sadly, idea of surgery Tuesday is getting to me. Got out my health care proxy, and fell into “what if I die on table?” Eep. Who would take care of practical matters? So I made a list for Hubby and sis of where to find important documents. If I do it, he won’t need it, right?
Then on to “What do I need to say?” Dangerous territory. But a few texts from you, and I am back out of that pit. Laughing! Thank you, Philip. Photos of lobster are a guaranteed way to perk me up! 🙂
Off to work on my project!
TEXTS
4:32 pm Phil [photo of his family doing a holiday toast]
4:32 pm Me: Awesome!  Cheers!
4:38 pm Phil: [He sent me the same photo again. Drunk?]
5:26 pm Me: Cuter than lobster!
6:40 pm Me: Having sushi and Korean tonight!
Sent photo of a painting of JP Seafood in Jamaica Plain




Visit #2 – part 7 Farewell

1:15 am The farewell


I dropped him at his car, and got out for one last hug and kisses.  I did not want to let go!  I had this horrible feeling that I would never see or hear from him again, whether by some peril in my upcoming battle with cancer or some twist to his move and new post or the vagaries of life in general.  I tried to pour all my feelings into that last touch, but I could not speak. 


He finally broke us apart, kissed my forehead and said, “Drive safe.  Text me when you get home?”  I nodded.  He dashed to his car.  I got into mine and followed him out of town.  He turned off toward the base, and I went on down the dark, empty roads and highways back to Boston. 

TEXTS
1:22 am to Hubby “Headed north, home soon”

1:29 am Philip: “Thanks for a very enjoyable evening.  Please let me know when you are home and safe.”
(with a photo of the boston cream pie in a heart)  


1:30 am Philip: “Yummy”
(with a photo of the baked stuffed lobster)


2:45 am Home
I unpacked the cooler, putting the cheese back into the fridge.  Hubby was asleep in the recliner, so I tucked him into bed.  But I was too too keyed up to sleep, so I stayed up writing it all down, wanting to treasure every moment. 
TEXTS
3:39 am “Thank you very much for a lovely evening!  Fabulous dinner, thought-provoking stories, and so many sweet moments… it’s so great being with you.”
3:47 am “Made it home easily, so keyed up, couldn’t sleep… up writing down everything, to clear my head.  So special… Thanks for sharing so much with me, Philip.  Must sleep now.  Sleep well, sweet man.”
4:15 am bed
Final thoughts:

Thank you that I did not get sick, have a period or a cold sore, get into a car crash with him in the car or by myself, get too lost, run into anyone I knew at dinner.  
My cat did not make him sneeze.  
He liked the t-shirt I gave him and it fit.

I was able to put off my surgery a few days so I could see him. 
I went to D.C. in October, so this was not our only interaction. 
He didn’t give me any “and now good-bye” speech.
Not sure whether I should have told him I love him or not.  Didn’t seem to be a moment to do it.  But when he shared his heart cath story, and I realized he could die before I ever see him again, or when he talked about such intense moments in his career and the burdens, I was very close.   
It is so nice to be with a man who will let me touch him and kiss him.  
I was also very happy to have few hours where I was not “the person whose dad is dying” or “the woman with cancer.”  I was Philip’s “high school sweetheart.”  
Swoon
Now what?