Red Solo Cup

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKZqGJONH68&ob=av2e

“Red Solo Cup”
performed by Toby Keith 
Now red solo cup is the best receptacle
From barbecues, tailgates, fairs and festivals
And you sir do not have a pair of testicles
If you prefer drinkin’ from glass
Hey red solo cup is cheap and disposable
In fourteen years they are decomposable
And unlike my home they are not foreclosable
Freddie Mac can kiss my ass, woo!
Red solo cup, I fill you up
Let’s have a party, let’s have a party
I love you red solo cup, I lift you up,
Proceed to party, proceed to party
Now I really love how you’re easy to stack
But I really hate how you’re easy to crack
Cause when beer runs down, in front of my back
Well, that, my friends, is quite yucky
But I have to admit that the ladies get smitten
Admirin’ at how sharply my first name is written
On you with a Sharpie when I get to hittin’
On them, to help me get lucky
Red solo cup, I fill you up
Let’s have a party, let’s have a party
I love you red solo cup, I lift you up,
Proceed to party, proceed to party
Now I’ve seen you in blue and I’ve seen you in yellow
But only you red will do for this fellow
Cause you are the Abbott into my Costello
And you are the Fruit to my Loom
Red solo cup, you’re more than just plastic
More than amazing, you’re more than fantastic
And believe me that I’m not the least bit sarcastic
When I look at you and say:
“Red solo cup, you’re not just a cup (No, no, God no)
You’re my friend, yea (Lifelong)
Thank you for being my friend”
Red solo cup, I fill you up
Let’s have a party, let’s have a party
I love you red solo cup, I lift you up,
Proceed to party, proceed to party
[repeat]

All I Want For Christmas

The crew of the HMS Ocean have fun to Mariah Carey’s peppy cover of a Christmas tune
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDZcGz4vmJc&feature=youtu.be

“All I Want For Christmas Is You”
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is you
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don’t need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby
Oh I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for snow
And I’m just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won’t even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
‘Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You Baby
Oh all the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children’s
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won’t you bring me the one I really need?
Won’t you please bring my baby to me?
Oh I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You baby
All I want for Christmas is you baby
All I want for Christmas is you baby
All I want for Christmas is you baby

Royal Proclamation

Sunday October 23, 2011

2:21 pm
Hiya kid.  Saw this joke about our relationship with the British… every single one made me giggle!  I wonder what that means?  It mentions beer and football!

To: the citizens of the United States of America
From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
(You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns or lawyers. The fact that you need so many lawyers shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). 
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside ofAmerica. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

Visit #3 Football funny

Wednesday, September 14

9:00am
Football funny – A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don’t get why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, “hello? It’s only 25 cents!”…

10:03am
Looked at the menu for your dinner – very fancy and pricy. They have a lobster pasta > Lobster Pappardelle: Steamed lobster, fresh pasta, oyster mushrooms, spring peas, apple wood bacon, lemon-garlic-herb butter      $30

12:23pm
heading to Bristol.  Hope you’re having a great day!

12:52pm Phil
Lobster Mac and Cheese and the scallop chowder I think. Gonna jump in the pool, grab a beer and go enjoy an evening with the boys. Been a great day, better rested today.

Philip 12:59pm 
Like the joke
2:51pm  
Heading back now.  See you soon.