Sunday, November 11, 2012
Subject: Those moments
One of those moments… amazing what happens on a quiet Sunday morning in November.
A blog post
I am reading your Sunday blog post. Trying to gloss over the typos. Thinking of you teasing and writing with that woman. Smiling that you got to play with her. Getting very wet. Wishing I could find you to play. Knowing you are surrounded by your family, on your way to church.
My phone pings – Google Voice text coming in. The man I am meeting at a hotel tomorrow. He wants to call and cum for me. But he has to get work done, be with his kids, ride his bike on the last warm day of the year. And he wants to save it for tomorrow. I tell him not to think about it, go work, play, relax… don’t think about my chest, or my hot holes or my tongue. He says I am so bad. He is going to cum in all my holes. And then have me suck him clean and cum again. He says he is going to put his fingers in my holes and his swollen cock in my mouth and kiss my nose, so I’m airtight. He says my needs are deeper than I say. He wants me to let go tomorrow.
I look at the cock shot he just emailed. I think about how that will be to play with and I am excited. And frightened. He was an experiment. Lots of talk in chat about not looking at stats – find a good profile and respond even if the guy isn’t tall or big or young enough or close by. Trust the content. And he is wonderful… calls, texts, sexy voice, beautiful words, considerate, fun… and he wants me. Other guys have been talking for six weeks without a meet. He wants to meet 9 days after he first saw my words on AM. Please let him want me. And let me want him. Chemistry. I smell a one-time thing – the flames are burning too hot to last, but at this point, that’s fine if it will get a man in my arms and all my holes. I try to remember why that is so important… worth the nerves and the risk and the mess. But I know when I get there, it will be clear. If.. if…
I look back at the screen. Read over the last words again. Yes… email is grand. The internet is fabulous!
My phone pings again… a different sound. It’s Philip on Facebook. Just back from placing flags at the cemetery. Veteran’s Day. A very emotional day for those in the service of this country as they remember those who never made it home, wonder why they did, soak up the rare appreciation for all sacrifices they make – not doing the work they want, wearing what they want or living where they want or being home for occasions, rarely being themselves, taking orders, being around the best men and women and the seeing the worst of human nature. But he talks of football and chili and working out. Half-expected some crack about Petraeus but no. Always wonder if a story like that will silence him forever. But no. In our third year of making each other smile. I search for any hint that he’ll let me talk sexy to him. See none. Offer anyway. I want him so fiercely. Would give up everything to be with him. But he doesn’t want me. He is a man of honor who will stay with the wife who is lazy, mean and won’t have sex with him. Or leave her for the younger woman at the beach. Not me. And I cry. Why God? Why did you show me this amazing man and how he could make me feel and then never let me touch him again? I know the answer… he saved your life. You can’t expect more.
I look back at the hot post on the screen. I smile and think of the intricate man and woman who wrote those words. Who find something special in each other across the miles that makes them a little less lonely. And remember what he makes me feel, what he taught me. How I shared his blog with everyone in chat last night and said read what this man writes. They were in awe. And I smile. Yes. The internet is fabulous!
My foot hurts. I can’t walk without excruciating pain… plantar fasciitis. My body is falling apart… started insulin shots on Wednesday. HATE THAT! Boss is being a total jerk at work… threatening to bring in HR because I can’t do the work of 2 people way beyond my pay grade or job description… scared out of my wits that I will get fired, and all my health care providers are tied to my job… and I don’t have any money in savings… it is too much. I am standing at a fork and can’t move. Hubby caught me crying yesterday and actually came over to hug me. Adds to his feeling of worthlessness and despair that he can’t support me in any way. Always been a good girl who worked hard and just wants to be appreciated. Don’t want to admit to anyone that I am a bad employee that my boss would rather have gone. I should be looking for a new job but how can I when I can’t walk? And I don’t want to work anymore… at least not for The Man, 9-5 in an office. The very pillars of my life are crashing around me. Can’t tell any of the men in my life except maybe… one.
I look back at the screen. I think about the next time I will write to him. I’ll be less serious. How he will make me smile. Unlike any of these tin men on AM. They are here. Ready. Willing. Simple. Sexy. Shallow.
He is there. Faithful. Fierce. Sweet. Sexy. Complicated. Deep.
Yes… the internet is incredible!
November 13, 2012
Subject: Re: Those moments
These are the things that you should be posting. These are powerful, sad, wonderful, erotic, fantastic words.
This is what you should share.