For a special Valentine’s week treat, I will tell you the story of Simon, my Valentine for 2012.
[Caveat: For those of you who only want to read about Philip and Sassy, skip the Simon posts this week! My life took a brief detour from the fairy tale a year ago, so if you don’t want to read about another man and me, move along!]
— Part I Simon’s picnic plan
A friend of mine online asked me to talk to a friend of hers who needed cheering up. He was shy and didn’t want me to know much real life info about him, so he called himself Simon Templar. When I asked him about it, he pointed me to the wikipedia article
about the old TV show “The Saint.” The lead character was a suave do-gooder, a mixture of James Bond and Robin Hood, played by Roger Moore, of the James Bond movies fame.
We chatted many nights until the wee hours. He was in Texas, so it was earlier for him, though he never seemed to sleep. He was smart, sweet and funny! He admitted he worked for a biotech company based in Boston, and would be traveling here for training at some point. He offered to buy me a lobster dinner! He had no idea that was my favorite thing…
I told him about years of no sex with my husband, and my adventures with Philip. He shared the sad tale of his marriage – his wife had locked him out of the bedroom after their second son was born years ago. It’s a story I hear all too often in my travels around the infidelity support world. I worked my magic, making him laugh and not being shocked that he was trying to find a married lady online who would be a “friend with benefits.” I helped him work on his ad, hoping he would find a lovely lady. Like me, he had very little confidence anyone would be interested.
I fantasized about a tall dark slim handsome older man, kissing me pressed up against his rental car after dinner. He sent me a photo. He had beautiful dark hair, but he was young, short, and chubby! And Hispanic! Wow! It made me realize how white-bread my lovers have been. It had never occurred to me to wonder about someone’s ethnic or racial background. It didn’t matter – I would have been interested in any race – but it was another variable to consider. I didn’t have a sexy response to the photo at all – he looked like a chocolate lab puppy I’d like to pat on the head! But he had a great smile and was very cute. So I thought of him as a friend.
He pestered me for a photo or video chat, but I steadfastly refused, sure that my very short gray hair (still not grown out much from chemo) and curvy body were not going to entice him, and might kill his fantasies as his photo had mine. And I never shared my face with anyone online except Philip.
Ten days ago, Simon IM’d me to say that he was going to say something I probably didn’t want to here. He said he was going to kill my fantasies by asking to have dinner on Valentine’s Day. I was really excited to meet him! I explained that it wasn’t my fantasies I was worried about but his, and that it would be great to see him. He seemed very surprised and pleased, though worried that I wouldn’t be able to make it on the holiday. I assured I could celebrate earlier with Hubby.
We made plans slowly, focusing on little details day-by-day. It turned out that his flight would get in late… dinner out was going to be tough. So I volunteered to bring a picnic to his hotel room. I know, I am an idiot, saying I’d go to the room of a strange man. But I had been talking to him for 2 months, and I checked with my friend, who said he is a shy, nice guy. We were very clear that it would be fun to talk and if more developed, fine. And if not, fine. We joked about how it might be the only way either of us would get a hug on Valentine’s Day. I had no expectation that he would want more.
I planned the picnic, making lists of food to buy and what clothes to bring for any eventuality, fantasizing over the first few moments, and agonizing endlessly about whether he’d be attracted to me. I think Philip wants me because he remembers what I looked like at age 14. So many questions! Would another man want me for other reasons? And if he did, would I be attracted to him and want to do anything? Would he tell me his real name? Would it matter? If not, could I be with someone I didn’t know? Due to the nature of things online, very little personal info gets exchanged. I wondered what sort of girl I am. And what effect would it have on my relationship with Philip? If I had some commitment from Philip, I wouldn’t need anything more. But I don’t. So many ifs!