Helping Landshark sleep

December 26, 2016 Monday
8:59 PM Landshark
Hey you
9:03 PM Landshark
I can’t believe I just sent a dick pic instead of one of my more creative shots to someone
9:04 PM Landshark
Figure out who this is?
9:10 PM Sassy
Happens to the best of us!  
Need more clues.  🙂
9:12 PM Landshark
And I was going to send it to you to see if you could identify me
9:18 PM Sassy
No one’s tried that before…
9:20 PM Landshark
So do you know who this is?  
Your favorite photographer…
9:30 PM Sassy
Aha!  Still nope.  ;).
 I’m going to feel like a doofus when I figure it out, right?  
9:35 PM Landshark
Think old Saturday night live sketch
9:37 PM Sassy
I was heading in that direction Landshark.  :). 
9:38 PM Landshark
Ding ding ding. We have a winner!
9:40 PM Sassy
Yay!  What’s the haps?
9:41 PM Landshark
I was chatting with someone I met online 
and I sent her a picture of my cock. Maybe I shouldn’t drink and text!  🙂
Though it was after she sent me an explicit pic.
9:47 PM Sassy
You have the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen. Should bring her running.  
So I get leg pic and she gets cock…hmm
Is this an AM gal?  CL?  
9:48 PM Landshark
Really?  Why do you hold it in such high regard?
9:57PM Sassy
It’s long and wide and smooth and straight, with the classic mushroom crown.  
The first moment I saw it in that parking lot, I swooned!
Geez… Probably swollen both your heads with that!
9:58 PM Landshark
You made me so hard that night
Am laying here stroking my cock reminiscing…
10:10 PM Sassy 
Me too… Using my new vibe. 😉
10:11 PM Landshark
Can I sneak in a call?  If you promise not to publish it I’ll send you a pic…
10:16 PM Sassy
Sure.  I can call you?  
I’ve never published any photos of you… 

10:18 PM Landshark
[photo of his erect cock]

At attention.  
Waiting for your call…
I called him.  He was far away visiting family, lying naked on the guest bed, texting ladies photos of his beautiful body parts.  He lives less than 20 miles from me, but I only hear from him when he’s far away.  *sigh
I talked to him about what I’d do if I was there – a nice, slow Sassy blow job!  I listened to him moan and then cum. Then he fell asleep.  


10:47 PM Sassy
I licked the screen.  Mmm… mmm… mmm

10:52 PM Landshark
You definitely bring something out in me …
Could be that a compliment about my cock will get you just about anything!

I hope you were able to find time to experiment with that new purple toy of yours and that my cock played a starring role in your thoughts!

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 17.0px} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} span.s1 {font-kerning: none}

Talking sexy

September 9, 2016 Friday
From: Sassy
To: Usual Man
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 9:51 AM
Subject: short email
Good morning,!  Happy Friday!  Mwah!

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
From: Usual Man
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 10:19 AM
Re: short email
Good morning to you! I’m on my way to Ground Zero. I read your message last night. Thank you for sharing so much. I don’t have my reading glasses. I’m taking part in a parade! I love that you like massages! I know that I’ll get to massage your feet someday! I feel it in my bones! 
I hate typing on my phone! I work in Boston so it’s a short trip to visit you!! 
I’ll send you my phone number if you think you’d like to talk instead of type!
I’m going to be busy until probably 3:00 PM but I’m free after that. XXOO
From: Usual Man
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 3:18 PM
Re: That day
I forgot to wish you a belated Happy Birthday!
From: Sassy
To: Usual Man
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 7:08 PM
Re: That day
Thanks!  That’s sweet.  I am still celebrating, out for dinner again.  I hope to be home by 9ish. Could you talk that late?  If not, no worries.  Hope NY is being fun!  

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
From: Usual Man
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 7:29 PM
Re: That day
I don’t know what we’re doing tonight but you can call if you’d like. If I can’t answer, I’ll have some free time tomorrow. Enjoy your birthday dinner!!
As you requested, I’ve attached a picture of my feet. They’re not much to look at but they get me around!
My phone number is [redacted]. 
Long, soft silver hair! Spectacular! XXOO
[photo of his handsome feet attached]
From: Sassy
To: Usual Man
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 7:37 PM
Subject: The black
Thanks for your feet phoro!  That was fun!!
Here’s my best feature.  I worked hard to keep them, so I get to show them off, right?

From: Usual Man
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 8:27 PM
Re: The black
Spectacular! You absolutely get to show them off!
From: Sassy
To: Usual Man
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 8:59 PM
Awww… thanks!  I feel like a hussy sending those out to you, but I do like to give you some hints of the fun we could have.  
I am finally home, full of Asian food. We went to All Seasons Table in Malden, a hidden gem.  
I’ve never had sex at the office, but I will send you a little snippet I wrote years ago about what it might be like. Be careful where you read it! 
From: Sassy
To: Usual Man
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 9:00 PM
Subject: The view
Just as I was finishing my last meeting of the day yesterday, 
gathering my papers off the marble table in the conference 
room on the 36th floor, the sound of sirens wafted up from 
the expressway below.  Everyone else had left the room, so 
I took a minute to lean over the marble counter and stare 
down at the roadway.  There was a horrible wreck of mangled 
metal and shattered glass, several cars and a tractor trailer 
twisted together.  The traffic was stopped behind the mess, 
and the cars on the other side barely moved, rubbernecking.
Suddenly, I heard the door close. I straightened up, but before I
could turn, I felt your arm around my waist, and felt the heat of you
on my back through my dress.  You were already hard, pressed
tightly against my ass.  I started to speak, but you put a finger
on my lips and teased a corner.  I licked your thumb, and you moved
your hand down to unbutton my dress.  Just enough to slip
your hand inside and tease a hard nipple.  I moaned and let my head
fall back against your shoulder.  You bit my neck and ran your
tongue across my skin.
You slipped your hand under my skirt and inside my underwear,
teasing my most sensitive spot.  You pressed a finger inside,
unsurprised at the moisture gathered there.  I was startled
as you lowered my underwear.  I felt like my knees would
buckle, but you tightened your grip and spread my legs to
balance me against the counter.  I panicked when I heard
the rasping sound of your zipper, but before I could form the
words in my mind to stop you, I felt you hot and hard against
my skin, and a low moan was all that escaped my lips.  You
shoved it inside me, and your breathing grew ragged as you
watched yourself slide in and out.  You kneaded the flesh of
my hips as you moved, then reached around me to rub the top
of my slit in time with your strokes.  I was trying to be
quiet, but could not hold in all the gasps of pleasure as
you thrust deeper and deeper inside me, your balls slapping
against me.  You felt the trembling start inside me, and
the clenching around you.  You felt the pulsing, the searing
heat and suddenly lost control, pounding me into the wood
and stone, spurting up inside me over and over.
The only sound was our uneven breathing and the whirring
air conditioning.  You pressed your cheek to my back and
whispered, “What a view…”
From: Usual Man
To: Sassy 
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 11:23 PM
Subject: The view
You missed your calling! I was there in the office having sex with you while I was reading that!  It’s great writing as well as being exceptionality sensual. Thank you for sending that.
     I’ll be tied up until about 11:15 – will email when I can talk. You have my number, you know what to do!

From: Sassy
To: Usual Man
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 11:25 PM
Re: The view
Hiya!  That is the highest compliment you could say… that you could see yourself there… doing that… with me.  Wow.  I’m so glad you understand it.  You are most welcome. 
Sweet sexy dreams! 
From: Usual Man
To: Sassy 
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 11:29 PM
Re: The black
I’m back in my room alone and re-reading your sex episode! If you’re still up and can talk, I’m here! 
I’d love to see more photos of you and you’re not a “hussey.” Would you like to see more of me?XXOO
I called him.  We talked for almost 90 minutes!  He has a beautiful voice.  He speaks well and he listens!  He is so easy to talk with and so sexy!  So so hot… Wow!  I like this man!!!

He was alone in his hotel room.  It was strange – I felt comfortable right away. And turned on. I feel like I know him. But I don’t. I don’t even know his name… not that it matters. He put me at ease and we quickly transitioned into talking about sex.

He described in great detail how he was alone in his room and naked and he wished I was there and he’d kiss me and touch me and learn my body and kiss his way up and down and around and lick my clit while his fingers played and tell me how beautiful I am and how hot I make him feel and how much he wants me to feel good and… WOW! He made me feel like I have a clear picture of what he’d be like in bed… and it was all things I would like to do RIGHT NOW!

I tried to listen carefully, insert a sigh or a moan or a word here and there. He was on a roll so I listened and let myself float along…. Mmm… Toward the end, he put the phone down so he could stroke his cock and I couldn’t hear him so well… I finally had to say it was time for me to go because I couldn’t hear enough to respond properly. He told me how amazing it had been talking to me… how if it was this good on the phone he thought we’d be fabulous together. I do hope so! Then he said goodnight and was gone.  

I stared at the ceiling… wondering what had just happened… was it real? WOW!
From: Sassy
To: Usual Man
Sent: Saturday, September 10, 2016 1:30 AM
Subject: Speechless
You… I… mmmm…. 
Talking to you… mmm
Thank you.  
From: Usual Man
To: Sassy
Sent: Saturday, September 10, 2016 1:33 AM
Re: Speechless
I can’t wait to meet you!XXOO

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 17.0px} span.s1 {font-kerning: none}
p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 17.0px} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} span.s1 {font-kerning: none}

My purple friend

May 17, 2016 Tuesday
8:46PM Phil
Hey lady, how you doing?
Hope your day was good
8:48PM Sassy
I’m great.  You?
8:49PM Phil
I’m very good
8:49PM Sassy
You home?
8:50PM Phil
Yup!  : ) 
8:53PM Phil
8:53PM Sassy
8:55PM Phil
Cold rainy night, inside tonight
Mmm, like that photo 
[photo of his naked lower half]
8:58PM Sassy
9:00 PM Phil
[10-second video of him jerking off]
9:03PM Sassy

9:03PM Phil
Ooh yes
9:03PM Sassy
My purple friend
9:04PM Phil
I like your friend
9:04PM Sassy
Sad substitute for what’s in your hand, but fun in its way!
9:04PM Phil
My phone rang! He was breathing heavy… talking sweet and sexy!  Oh man… that makes me so hot.

I talked back… about what I would do if I was there…. helped him finish.  There is nothing like hearing him cum!!

9:40PM Sassy
So hot to hear your voice!
Sleep well dear man.

Blow job and politics

March 1, 2016 Tuesday “Super Tuesday”

I voted in the presidential primary!  No line! 
[photo of me outside the polling place with the “I Voted” sticker on my jacket]

8:20PM Phil
I see you voted, congrats!
8:24PM Sassy
Are you registered where you live?

8:24 PM Phil
8:25PM Sassy

8:25PM Phil
Oh hell no

8:26PM Sassy
Now I remember why we don’t talk politics much

8:26PM Phil
I did not vote for Trump though
8:27PM Sassy
All of the GOP are scary
8:27PM Phil
Dems too

8:27PM Sassy
You watching results?
8:32PM Phil
Yup. Pretty close so far
8:34PM Sassy
Who did you pick?

8:34PM Phil

8:34PM Sassy

8:35PM Phil
Seems to have the experience, like where he stands on govt and he’s not the other two

[photo of his naked legs propped up on a chair outside on his balcony]

Sitting out on a pretty night
8:36PM Sassy
mmm… toes…
8:36PM Phil

[photo of his naked leg propped up on a chair outside on his balcony, with his erect cock too!]
8:38PM Sassy

8:38PM Phil
Yeah, nice to sit out naked

8:40PM Phil
I have been known to be naughty
8:42PM Sassy
Mmm… in the nicest way

8:42PM Phil
Nothing like getting off outside  😛
8:455PM Sassy
What are you thinking about tonight?

8:46PM Phil
Blow jobs
8:56PM Phil
Watch a little porn and just playing
8:56PM Sassy

8:58PM Phil
Mmm, nice

8:59PM Phi
[He sent me a photo I had sent him of me naked just out of the shower with my hair up in a towel]
8:49PM Phil
Looking at this sexy girl
8:59PM Sassy
Oh my…

9:00PM Phil
Great tits and I know that pussy’s wet and tight

9:01PM Phil
Hope you don’t mind

9:01PM Sassy
I’m so happy to help.
9:02PM Phil
Thank you
9:04PM Phil
I like to think of a little baby oil and sliding between them
9:05PM Sassy
9:07PM back and forth….
maybe a lick at the top?

9:08PM Phil
Yes please
Licking up pre cum now
Wish it was you
9:09PM Sassy
Me too

9:09PM Phil
Sweet tonight, tastes good

9:13PM Phil
9:15PM Phil 
Can almost smell your pussy. Let me make love to you and feel your heat
9:15PM Sassy
No let… join in gladly!

9:16PM Phil
Slowing pumping my cock in and out while kissing you deeply
9:17PM Phil
Balls slapping against your ass, mmm

Lean forward so my cock hits your clit on every stroke
9:19PM Sassy
You set my on fire from hours away…. going to burn up when you’re closer!
9:47PM Phil
Phil called you.
[We were on the phone for about 5 minutes while I talked dirty to him and listened to him cum!) 
9:54PM Sassy

Stew can’t wait

October 20, 2014 Monday

Stew: Good morning! I am so excited we r going to meet – it is going to be a very long day today – Tuesday seems so far away 7:05 AM
Stew: I can’t wait to cu but it will b very difficult for me to control myself when I am with you because I will so much want to see the “girls” in their full glory! thinking of those beautiful bodacious boobies in your white and black bras – they need to be set free so I handle suck on them and play with your nipples with my tongue 7:43 AM
Me: Good morning Mr. Frisky! I feel like “Annie” singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow!” 8:15 AM
Stew: Yes it will be a long day today but so excited that we r taking the next step in our journey together. So Annie what do u want to do with your “Daddy Warbucks” when u do finally get me alone sometime in the future 8:18 AM
Me: Savor the anticipation…luxuriate in the fantasies! I want to fill my senses with you… look into your eyes, take in your scent, listen to your ecstasy, touch you in unusual places and taste your lips! Then give you a Sassy blow job! 8:27 AM
Stew: Oh my I hope that happens real soon because I am rock hard just thinking about it 8:37 AM
Stew: And I so much want to return the favor and drive you crazy with my tongue and have u squirt your beautiful funky love juices all over my face as you climax like u have never climaxed before  8:39 AM
Stew: What r some of your favorite positions – I would love to have u sit on me so that I could watch your beautiful, bodacious and bountiful boobs bounce up and down as u move up and down my shaft 8:59 AM
Stew: I keep thinking about a Sassy Blow job – I picture us both naked u facing me with ruby red nails and lipstick – your fingers look so sexy with the red nail polish wrapped around my engorged cock u take me I. Your mouth your red lips swallowing me whole and your head moves up and down my shaft as u do that your beautiful bodacious breasts swing back and forth. U speed up taking all of me in your mouth your boobs furiously swinging back and forth and then I explode shooting warm cum into your mouth as I have the most incredible orgasm in my life and u eagerly suck up every last drop of my spunk – I am literally completely drained 11:00 AM
Me: Ah, the fun we’ll have! Hope you decide I’m someone you want. The nerves are hitting me. 1:38 PM
Stew: Can u talk now I am driving alone for about an hour and would love to talk with u 1:48 PM
Me: Can’t right now but might in a few minutes. I’ll call if I can. 1:49 PM
Stew: Hope u can no worries if u can’t 1:51 PM
2:15 PM
I called to tell him I’ve decided to take tomorrow off and meet him.  We talked for 20 minutes,  ironing out the details.  He is making it easy, coming into town to get together at an easy place for me to get to
Stew: So excited about tomorrow can’t wait to cu want to hug -and not like an old friend – like the lovers we will be and want to kiss u and so much more but realize will have to start with the hugs and kisses But very soon I will want to be sucking Sassy boobs, licking Sassy Pussy, getting Sassy blow jobs . . . Speaking of Sassy Boobies 3:46 PM
Stew: love those cleavage shots any chance u can send me a photo of the girls in all their glory?  : ) 3:46 PM
Me: Just checked – Starbucks opens at 6 am… so no problem meeting there at 10 am if that works for you. It’s on the far end on the first floor. Whee! 4:12 PM
Stew: I will be there at 10 can’t wait 4:13 PM
Stew: I am so excited about tomorrow – I can’t wait to cu – I want to hug u kiss u and so much more but I guess that will cum later : )  7:44 PM
Me: I’m thinking about it too… doing laundry so I will have my favorite black underwear to put on! 7:50 PM
Stew: I wish I was in your large bed with u right now I want to explore every inch of your body with my fingers and tongue to find all of your erogenous zones and apply my best technique to them so I can bring u great pleasure 8:18 PM
Stew: BTW love black panties and bra but even better like taking them off of you : )  8:18 PM
Me: Ooooh! That sounds so fantastic! Soon… yes… please… 8:19 PM
Stew: If things go well over coffee as I know they will I will not object to u taking me home to allow me to do just that and to show u just how much u have inspired me. I want to show u just how much I mean it when I say all I want is to meet your every need and desire and to please you 8:24 PM
Me: Nice to know you’d be ready and flexible! Probably can’t tomorrow… but if we hit it off we should talk about getting together again soon! 8:27 PM
Stew: Just letting u know my feelings have not changed since u were getting nervous as u said I am content with just meeting u and hugging and kissing 8:28 PM
Me: It is lovely to be wanted. I am trying hard to hope, to fantasize, to savor but not get too far ahead of myself… It is refreshing to see your glee! 8:34 PM
Stew: I will be happy to go at your pace – I want u to be comfortable and fulfilled so I will not push 8:49 PM
Me: Ah… don’t filter. Let it pour… I like knowing what’s going on in that head of yours… both of them! 8:57 PM
Stew: Well I want u to take one of my heads into your Sassy lips with Ruby red lipstick and suck on it until I spew my warm cum into your mouth – how Is that for unfiltered : )  9:01 PM
Me: Fabulous! 🙂 9:03 PM
Me: I am thinking of a back rub. Sometimes it is the simple things I miss most… 9:31 PM
Stew: Well then take me back to your place and will give u a back rub u will not forget  : ) 9:43 PM
Stew: I of course would prefer to “rub” your front – but am happy to start with your back 9:50 PM
Me: Less than 12 hours now… 10:38 PM
Stew: Yes so excited can hardly wait 10:42 PM
Me: What will you have on? 10:44 PM
Me: Are you a boxers or briefs man? 10:45 PM
Stew: I will text u in the morning so u know 10:45 PM
Me: Not a lay it out the night before guy, huh? 10:46 PM
Me: I plan to wear blue… with a silk scarf. Long gray hair. Boobs! 10:48 PM
Stew: U have seen the picture of me – short gray hair with a mustache – no boobs – wish there was a way I could get to play with those boobs tomorrow 10:53 PM
Me: We’ll see… there may be a way! 10:55 PM
Stew: There is always hope : ) 11:03 PM
Stew: As for clothes I’ll figure it out in the morning but there will be tight boxers like what were in the photo I sent 11:05 PM
Me: Ooh… I liked those! 11:07 PM
Stew: Well maybe we can arrange a viewing tomorrow : )  11:08 PM

Me: Coffee… lunch… making a scene in the garage… mmmm 11:09 PM

Meet #25 Sassy seduction

July 15, 2014 Tuesday 

Kris had not been in touch since he left Sunday morning.  I was missing him and hating that.  I was so revved up!  I had woken up from a very hot dream about trying out a vibrator at a sex shop… argh… and spent the day telling my mentourage about it.  

I had just gotten home from having dinner with Mom when Kris called about 8 pm and asked to come over.  He said he shouldn’t, but he wanted to.  I gave him an emphatic YES!  He said no sex, but I was desperate.  I was determined to get him to give me some relief.  
When he arrived, I stood behind him in the living room, rubbing his shoulders.  Every time I strayed anywhere near an erogenous zone, he pushed my hands back.  I rubbed and scratched… he says his wife won’t scratch his back for more than 10 seconds so I try to keep going until he says stop.  He leaned against me, and I went on and on.  He finally said enough.  I went to hug him but he walked away.  He said he wasn’t here to see Sassy, he wanted to talk with the real me.  I told him real me wasn’t around, Sassy needed him.  He kept calling my real name, searching for my boring, demure side.  Poor man. 
So I sat at my desk.  He ate some leftover pork lo mein from my fridge and asked me about my day.  He came over to rub on my back.  I was very bad… I unbuttoned my top.  He said “No skin!”  I explained I wanted to feel his hands on my bare shoulders, and demurely pulled my top across my chest while baring my shoulders.  He massaged my shoulders… then my neck… then my head and face… I tilted my head a bit and let my top slip so he could see my cleavage.  I took my bra straps down.  He kept rubbing my shoulders.  I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I pulled my left breast out and started rubbing it myself.  He rubbed my neck and came around to the front, but stayed high.  This was an incredible game of “where will he touch me?  Will he keep going if I touch my chest?  Will he keep going if I…”  I had been quiet so far, but I couldn’t keep the moans inside any longer.  He groaned a bit, like I was torturing him but kept rubbing my upper chest, watching me.  I put my other hand inside my slacks.  I was sooo wet!  I started asking questions.  
Can I undo your belt?
So I can’t lick you?
Or suck you?
I’m just asking, figuring out where the line is…
So why are you here?
You can tell me, I can take it.
So definitely no slow fucking?
I swiveled in my desk chair and hugged him around the waist.  He said this was a lot like tantric sex, touching all over the body, building the anticipation.  I stared into his eyes.  He said it’s a checkbox on Ashley Madison that men don’t understand but check because it sounds exotic. 
I finally could not stand it anymore.  I stood up and marched him into my bedroom!  He said it was wrong, he had made up his mind he could not lie anymore, he could not have sex anymore.  I asked who will ask him?  Who will care?  He said he would.  Ugh.  I said, “I need you to help me.”  I was in full evil seductress mode as I have never been before, but I swear it is the best thing for him, to get some release, to forget his troubles… and his protests seemed like he was trying them on for size, not committed to them.  Whatever.  I gently pressed him down on the bed, came down on top of him and started kissing him fiercely.  One thing led to another and he took very good care of me with his fingers and the little silver bullet.  
I was wondering if he would want my attentions, or consider that over this line he has built.  I took the silver bullet and ran it over his forehead, down his neck… he sighed.  I’ve never used a toy on him.  I put it on his nipple, then his belly button, then over his cock on the outside of his jeans. I moved it around his waist, and he unzipped his jeans.  I pressed it on his cock… said, “I don’t know what I’m doing… tell me…please” and he said it felt good on the underside.  So I held it there, then moved it back and forth.  “Still or moving?” I asked.  “Move,” he replied.  So I went back and forth, letting the buzzing radiate from the sensitive spot under the crown.  I moved down his body kissing and finally took him in my mouth, licking and sucking while keeping the bullet on his cock.  He got a blissful look on his face.  He said, “That… is… poetry.”  It wasn’t long before I had a mouth full of salted caramel.  🙂 
We had a good cuddle before Hubby got home and Kris moved to the couch to sleep.  
Geesh… reading this… I may have attained a new level of HUSSY!  
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
I  woke up to the sounds of Kris stirring around, eating a bowl of cereal… I got up just as he was leaving and gave him a quick hug.  He left at 7:30 am. 

Sad Sunday

Sunday, July 13, 2014
Kris left before I got up this morning, let me note that amounted to “I’m going away, putting on my big boy pants, going to deal with all the crap I have to deal with to sell the house and get back in at church and salvage my relationships with my children.”   Well then.
I made breakfast for Hubby and me – a comforting plate of blueberry pancakes and kielbasa.  Yum.

I called Kris to check on his plan for this evening, since I will be in and out all day – he said not tonight and seemed eager to get off the phone.  He said he was going to try to deal alone but this wouldn’t be our last conversation.  Okay then.

I was very sad… thinking of him dealing all alone, and for myself not having his smiling face around.  But I don’t think it’s up to me to be his sole support.  If I loved him and wanted to be with him when the dust settles, it might be different.  But the last thing I need is another man who needs so much and won’t touch me! 

I shudder thinking of starting again, so I will wait until I am so desperate it seems like a good idea.  Kris has really spoiled me with the trips and the dinners and wanting to be part of my life… don’t think I will see that again. But who knows what adventures are around the corner?  🙂 
Phillip called!  He was driving to the beach.  He is very sympathetic, has been where Kris is. 
I got organized, went to the grocery store to pick up bbq supplies.  I got cocktail shrimp and the ingredients for a caprese salad, and some big jugs of iced teas.  I took Hubby to work on his project, then zoomed out to the burbs for a project team BBQ.  I was very early but texted the host who invited me in to motivate her to make the final preparations.  I sliced tomatoes and mozzarella and elegantly displayed the shrimp on a platter while she finished setting up the back yard.

I wandered outside to hob knob and catch up on whatever project any particular person is doing.  Our alums are involved in so many things!  Someone brought a huge white bird – a cockatoo!  I had fun talking to the bird, who talks back!  
It got too hot so I ducked inside to bask in the a/c.  Several others joined me in the living room and we had a lively conversation.    
Too soon it was time for me to leave to pick up Hubby in Boston at 5:30 pm.  He wanted Chinese, so we popped over to a new place, Dumpling House, and he ordered take-out.  Sadly they were swamped, and it took 45 minutes!  I caught up on Facebook sitting in the car.  We finally made it home at 7:30 pm.  I had yummy chicken corn soup and peking ravioli.  I chatted with another blogger.  Nice to have a sympathetic ear!  
Not a word from Kris… I wonder when I will hear from him again?

Silly stickers

Sunday, July 13. 2014
Homemade breakfast!
De Wafelbakkers blueberry pancakes, maple syrup, kielbasa and OJ!  Discovered the frozen pancakes from Shaw’s on Instacart – microwave for 1 minute and nom!


11:22am Phil 
Enjoy the afternoon!


You too kid!  I wish I was beside you at the beach!  
Thanks for calling back… I had toddled off to shower by then.  
Thought of you and let the water pound me!

11:59am Phil 

Ha ha

I am so sad today… you know that’s rare for me!  But I feel like I’ve grown a bit.  I want to help Kris, hate to see him suffering… but if he can’t help me, sees touching me as some moral failing?  I can’t be someone’s bad habit.  Or help a guy who won’t help me with the one thing I need.  Is that bad of me?

12:10pm Phil 

I have been there. Kids, friends all treating me like some creep. Beach Gal used to call herself my dirty little secret. She got so depressed and angry and sad, it ruined what we had. I needed time to sort it out. It’s not bad of you! This is hard.  Help if you can. His world just fell apart. He needs to talk and he has no one he can talk about this too. Sex is the last thing on his mind.

Thanks for that perspective… it makes things make more sense.  I’ve worked really hard to make our time fun, a break from the rest of his crap,  not to mention my side… so you get to hear it.

12:16pm Phil 
12:44pm Phil
I’m always happy to listen. I’ve been down this road and I get it

12:51pm Phil 

I am sitting on the beach with a cold beer, nice breeze blowing, oysters coming, surrounded by lovelies in bikinis!
rough!  I just braved the grocery!  Whee! 
They changed owners so I couldn’t find anything!


Taking Hubby in to Boston to help out on a project,  then run the monthly project meeting, then BBQ, then back to get Hubby.  Whee!

1:40pm Phil 

1:51pm Phil

[11-second VIDEO of the beach and the ocean from the deck of a restaurant]
2:28pm Phil 
[PHOTO of him smiling, wearing shades and sitting on the beach]
2:50pm Phil 
my favorite beach bar

2:51pm Phil 

[PHOTO of his toes in the sand with the beach, the surf, the ocean]

3:13pm Phil 
[PHOTO of the beach with houses and vendors under umbrellas]

Meet #23 Part 2 – Sharing

Friday, July 11, 2014
My alarm went off about 7:20 am.  I hit the snooze button, then dragged myself out of bed.  I went out to wake Kris up, but he was already up and dressed, having showered and eaten cereal!  I hugged him in the kitchen as he made coffee, then got ready for work.  
He is very nervous about anyone seeing him use the toilet.  He usually shuts and locks the door!  I keep telling him it is a natural thing, no big deal, he is welcome to come in when I am in the shower or at the sink.  He has never done it.  Today he really had to poop.  He was so worried about grossing me out, but could not wait.  I was brushing my teeth with the door open and he asked and I waved him in.  He talked as he did his business.  Apparently this was a huge first for him.  He was laughing.  I got him to try the wipes I like.  Ha!  I adore sharing the mundane moments of life with my guy!   I know this is one of those “there are two kinds of people” things, where some folks can’t imagine ever leaving the door open or sharing a bathroom, and others don’t see what the big deal is.  I am definitely in the latter camp!

I finished before he did, so I was half-naked in the midst of getting dressed and gave him a hug when he exited the bathroom.  I kissed him and pressed my naked chest against him.  He pulled away and chided me.  I can’t take much of that.  *sigh
Hubby was running late, so I sat at my desk.  I told Kris I’ll be home alone tonight.  He said there would be three options – he’d either pick me up at work at 4 pm, arrive later or not visit at all.  He would call me later.  I told him I am busy tomorrow and Sunday, so tonight is it if he wants to see me this weekend.  
I had hoped he would wait for me to walk him out, so I could see him off and let him out of the garage and squeeze a few more moments, as we always do.  But he seemed very antsy.  He kissed me on the forehead and left about 8:45 am. 
Kris called about 5:30 pm.  He’d tried to call me earlier in the day, left an odd message about 2:30 pm that got cut off.  Didn’t answer when I called back, so I just waited.  
He called in a panic – he said his wife had seen my trip photos.  So she is stalking me under my real name!  Argh.  I spent an hour on G+ locking everything down, making all my the photos “friends only.”  I googled myself and wished I was not so easy to find. Ugh.  I had thought Kris was on his way down when he called, but he didn’t show up until about 9 pm just as I was giving up.  
He came in and flumped on the sofa.  I made myself a late supper of pancakes and bacon.  He let me read his wife’s texts.  Geesh… one insult after another.  She wrote “You have defiled me, like a terminal disease.”  ugh.  Who writes that like?  She is doing the victim thing to the hilt. I get it but… wow.  

He slept with his head on my lap on the sofa.  I am guessing he doesn’t sleep much when he is alone, due to his brain racing over all he has to deal with.  I like giving him a safe place to rest.  However, it is so tough for me to have him here and not touching me! 

Meet #23 Part 1 Reality

Thursday, July 10, 2014 
I had a lovely supper with my older sister and her beau last night at Court House Seafood over across the river in Cambridge.  I had their very fresh fried fish and shrimp with a baked potato and a stuffed clam!  
I finally heard from Kris last night after more than two days of silence. He had not been in touch since he dropped me off on Tuesday midday and I was beginning to wonder.  He had not missed a day in a long time.  He called while I was eating.  I stepped outside to talk.  He arranged to come visit tonight. 
I noticed some beautiful lilies as I left the restaurant:
He came over about 7:30 pm.  I fed him a pear.  It’s his favorite fruit.  He worked on the floxx plant he gave me that is out on my balcony, pruning and watering.  I filled the watering can for him and watered my other plants.  
He is a total mess.  We sat on the sofa with his head in my lap and he vented for about four hours.  He did not want to “do anything sexy.”  He told me he wrote the letter to his wife that the pastor recommended, attached it to an email since he doesn’t know where she is to mail it.  He sent it this morning and she has not responded.  
He is facing the nitty-gritty reality of life alone.  Completely alone.

  • No one to cut his hair.  He hasn’t been to a barber for 35 years.  
  • No one to pick him up when he drops off his motorcycle to be serviced, or take him back to pick it up when it’s done.  
  • Worrying about his wife “breaking into their house and taking things.”  
  • Being placed in an adversarial position over money.  
  • Finding a realtor to advise him on selling the house, what to fix or not worry about. 
  • His son suing him to get back trust money he thinks was mismanaged.  
  • Where will he live when the house sells? 

Ugh.  I stroked his hair and listened and offered suggestions.  He dozed on and off.  He grabbed swiss cheese and crackers to munch on. 

He told me the odd story of locking his house for the first time ever, to have some control over when his wife and son come to take things.  Then he didn’t take his keys, so he was locked out!  So he had to call the police to ask if they could get him in.  They sent the firetruck!  They have a door-spreader that pops the edges enough to unseat the door and they can push in.  Wow.  They gave him a hard time and laughed over it, told him there was no charge.  
He told me about trying to time his mortgage payment, being on a conference call with Quicken Loans and his bank and Checkfree about the payment going and then being revoked twice.  He ended up having to go to the bank.  
He stated very clearly that he can not continue to see me and lie to the men in his church that will gather to support him.  I said I understand.  But I added that I hate to see him give up one of the two people left who care for him (me and his mother) and I am the only one he can really talk with, who will do things for him etc.  But only he can decide and I will abide by it.  Then he makes arrangements to see me again.  He sees it as a sign of weakness.  I don’t want to be his bad habit.  *sigh 
I want to help him, to be there for him but it adds up to… once again… NO SEX!  Argh.  I am trying to set the “one month grace” clock and not put up with this forever.
My other old flame contacted me again after almost a year.  I kept thinking he had some news or reason but he blathered along about his sons in the Little League Championships and his summer travels until I finally asked why he contacted me after almost a year.  “I missed you…” he says.  Hunh.  I texted with him while Kris slept on my lap and felt like a hussy!  
I woke Kris up at midnight so I could go to bed.  He had a cup of coffee and some potato chips.  I got ready for bed and came back out to find him sitting on the couch, staring into space.  I handed him some pillows and a blanket, kissed his forehead and left him to sleep.