Christmas Comes

December 24, 2016 Saturday

7:14AM Sassy
Happy Christmas Eve Philip!

7:24AM Sassy
Whether we are ready or not…truth from my favorite poet.
Christmas comes 
by Maren Tirabassi
Christmas comes to detainees
waiting for deportation
at the Strafford County House of Correction,
and ninety-seven year old Helen 
in hospice who used to jump
out of parachutes until she was eighty.
It comes to the beagle who bays at the skunk,
and then is sorry,
balsams and frasiers leaning wrapped 
against the fence in the Christmas tree lot,
and many children who also – for some reason —
have not been chosen.
Christmas comes to the shoppers who pause 
to listen to the bell-ringing 
and put a little money in the kettle.
It comes even if they do it
because a child is watching,
and it comes even for those too busy to stop.
Christmas comes to the man 
who mourns his wife, 
and to the woman who mourns her mother,
and Christmas comes to the wife and the mother –
differently, of course – 
less fruitcake, more angels.
Christmas comes to pageant planners 
and the soldier deployed.
It comes to those who those who weep 
for Aleppo,
or shake uncontrollably
at the thought of more nuclear weapons.
It comes to those who voted for Trump
those who voted for Clinton,
and those who voted
on either side of Brexit.
It comes to amateur actors
performing A Christmas Carol
hoping the audience really hears —
they haven’t missed it!
Christmas comes in old words and new ones.
It comes whether we are ready or not; 
it comes whether we want it or not;
it comes whether we used to believe, 
or try to believe, or are afraid to believe.
Christmas comes with presents and with absence.
It comes as expected, 
and it comes as a nearly unbearable surprise.
7:52AM Phil
Happy Christmas Eve!
7:53AM Sassy
You ready?
8:41AM Phil

10:02AM Sassy
At Dunkin Donuts – Energy for the last errands!

10:39AM Sassy
Charcuterie and accoutrements acquired from Savenor’s!

11:15AM Sassy
Whole Foods has beautiful shrimp cocktail!  And store-made cocktail sauce!  
11:51AM Sassy

Pate acquired! Mousse truffee FTW! Wine & Cheese Cask is the best! 

12:06PM Sassy

Mission Christmas Nosh Accomplished! The woman who never goes to the store went to three this morning! In the rain! I am home and staying here. It was getting nutty out there!

Psalm 37

April 30, 2016 Saturday

7:29AM Sassy
Good morning kid!
Mom was in fine form today!  She read me Psalm 37 and told me it applies to the current political situation!  Hmmm…

Holy Bible, New International Version

Psalm 37
     Of David.

1 Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.

11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them;

13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose ways are upright.

15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts, and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked;

17 for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous.

18 The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care, and their inheritance will endure forever.

19 In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish: Though the Lord’s enemies are like the flowers of the field, they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously;

22 those the Lord blesses will inherit the land, but those he curses will be destroyed.

23 The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him;

24 though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.

26 They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be a blessing.

27 Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever.

28 For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones.

Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed; the offspring of the wicked will perish.

29 The righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just.

31 The law of their God is in their hearts; their feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous, intent on putting them to death;

33 but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Hope in the Lord and keep his way.

He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man flourishing like a luxuriant native tree,

36 but he soon passed away and was no more; though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace.

38 But all sinners will be destroyed; there will be no future for the wicked.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

40 The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.

This psalm is an acrostic poem, the stanzas of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

12:15PM Phil

4:08PM Sassy

Something about this photo… reminds me of yesterday.  ; )
Jonathan Carroll added a new photo.

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Joe Strummer (guitarist and singer from The Clash) 
kissing Gabby, the mother of his two daughters Jazzy and Lola.

5:49PM Phil
: )

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Ravenous Butterflies

A friend recommended I check out a Facebook page called Ravenous Butterflies 

It lists its purpose as
To nourish and illuminate with art, creating love and light in an ever darkening world, welcome.and “To enlighten with a passionate aesthetic that inspires or provokes.”
There are over 88,000 people liking it! 
It’s filled with lovely paintings and photos and pithy quotes, mostly of beautiful people, but this photo stood out because of the quote. 
“When you have come to the edge of all the light you have 
And step into the darkness of the unknown 
Believe that one of the two will happen to you 
Either you’ll find something solid to stand on 
Or you’ll be taught how to fly!” 
Richard Bach

The Journey

March 24, 2015 Tuesday

“Margae” from the Breaking Free of the Frame collection 

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.

“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Mary Oliver

from her book “Dream Work”(1986)

Memories, Music and Poetry

Saturday, April 5, 2014
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Saturday, April 5, 2014 11:00 AM
Re: answer to your question
Hiya Kris,
Thank you for this beautiful message!  You are the most talented wordsmith I’ve seen, and that is saying a lot!  Your analysis of why you like me was so intuitive… it made me feel incredibly special and think special thoughts about you!  
Friday was such fun!!  So many fantastic memories!  Such potential!  You made me want MORE! SOON!  I felt this incredible mixture of excitement and comfort.  I have never been so crazy out in the open but you inspired me, made me feel like there was just you and me – the rest of the world was not there.  And I had to touch you.  Dangerous… fun… I blush and smile today.  My demure side is giving the Sassy side hell.  But it was so worth it!  One lunch and some fantastic groping can’t tell me if you and I are a match, but I see the seeds of something that could grow into a beautiful thing.
I’m sorry other women were weird to you about your testing request.  It seems completely reasonable and sensible.  Noble.  I want you to have peace of mind.  I do get tested and it’s time for another round. I can go to my health clinic, pay the co-pay, not a big deal. 
I am not poly.  I’m over my wild phase.  I may need a “hall pass” to see old flame if he ever gets here again, but, as AM women go, I think I am lower risk than most.  I don’t want to get in too deep, need you too much but I hope we can find the right balance. 
Is this the answer you want? 
I wish I had time to write more, but this is a crazy day and tomorrow is worse!  My life is usually much quieter, so bear with me! 

Me: Good morning hot stuff! Short answer – testing Yes! Longer answer, see Yahoo mail. 11:02 AM

Kris: That’s good news…i was worried u say no….have to resist reading or replying to email till later…have a ton of work…all online. which is why i can discreetly chat w u even w wife sitting next to me….she’s gone all day today….so stop by anytime for a roll in the hay (wish i wasn’t kidding)…on to business…and trying not to think of u for a while…not easy teasing sassy11:15 AM
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Saturday, April 5, 2014 2:30 PM 
Re: answer to your question
Hi Sassy,
Yes–that was the answer I was looking for.  Just want to make sure the testing covers “all the bases”–and not just one or two.  Can explain that further later.
Thanks for your patience with how long I can go on sometimes–but you didn’t seem to mind–and seemed to actually enjoy reading it.  So thank you for your kind words—and “good thoughts sent my way.”
As far a “hall pass” to see old flame—-again, it’s not at all about needing an exclusive relationship.  It’s only about not taking health risks.  Of course, the more partners–the higher the risk.  But if you know for sure where someone is (like right after being tested)—you have a little peace of mind—at least for awhile.  After that–whether anyone would keep “telling the truth” is a little “dicey”.  Most people lie—maybe you’ll be the exception.  
But in general—-I’d like more too—-and soon!  No worries about your availability for anything—whether emails or anything else.  I want it to work for both of us—and we’ll naturally have different commitments at different times.
Right now I’m still bogged down with work.  But had to read this and respond to it–resisted as long as I could.
• Apr 05 2:58 PM Kris
hope you have a nice day….any chance of chatting later….or maybe tonite…..i’m ok with whatever works… relax and “like me”……smile….Kris
• Apr 05 3:01 PM Kris
i know you have your project….and maybe you’ll be too tired….and i may still be working late.  anyhow…….big hug and kiss………Kris
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Saturday, April 5, 2014 3:01 PM
Subject: Two poems
Every mouth you’ve ever kissed was just practice. 
All the bodies you’ve ever undressed and ploughed into 
were preparing you for me. 
I don’t mind tasting them in the memory of your mouth. 
Was it a long journey? Did it take you long to find me? 
You’re here now, welcome home.
—Warsan Shire
As though touching her
might make him known to himself,
as though his hand moving
over her body might find who
he is, as though he lay inside her, a country
his hand’s traveling uncovered,
as though such a country arose
continually up out of her
to meet his hand’s setting forth and setting forth.
And the places on her body have no names.
And she is what’s immense about the night.
And their clothes on the floor are arranged
for forgetfulness.
Li-Young Lee, “Dwelling”

Kris: I read your email…thanks! replied & tried not to write a book. big hug & kiss…Kris 3:11 PM


From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Saturday, April 5, 2014 3:45 PM
Re: answer to your question
Hiya Kris!  Hope you’re making great progress on your work.  Thanks for taking a break to write! 
I know about the “full panel.”  If there is something in particular that you think is usually skipped that you want, let me know.  I plan to call Monday for an appointment.  I believe I am doing the right things to guard my health – requiring condoms and not the riskiest positions, not drunk, regular doctor visits etc. 
Question – are you going to get tested also? 
Yesterday is running like a romantic movie in my mind… causing a certain pulsing between my legs!  
Almost time to go off to another project event!  Whee!  We have company in from CT today staying over with us, so I can’t be on the computer much.  Tomorrow is a wacky day – brunch with CT pal, lunch with best college pal in town on a rare visit, then dinner with another friend!  Whee!  I will be thinking of you.
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Saturday, April 5, 2014 4:14 PM
Re: answer to your question
Hi Sassie,
I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon—but am glad!   
I don’t pretend to be an expert–but my understanding is that in order to test for all the STDs—individual tests have to be given to “hit” specific ones.  I will send you a list of ones I’d like to know about—if that’s ok.
I don’t feel a need to get tested for my own peace of mind.  But I will get tested if it will put your mind at ease–fair is fair.  I was tested after I had sex with the women I had affairs with 25 years ago.  I haven’t had ANY kind of sex with anyone other than my wife since then. (UNTIL YESTERDAY WITH YOU IN A PUBLIC PARKING GARAGE FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!!!!—which wasn’t “high risk” in any way)—but was still sex—and GREAT FUN!!!!!!!! 
Again—I’m no expert in all of it—but I don’t think “positions” really matter.  It’s “fluid to fluid” contact that causes the transmission.  Potentially even kissing could transmit Hepatitis (but that’s not going to kill us–and the risk is pretty low).  Wearing a condom protects you and me (with you probably being at slightly higher risk).  But unless I used an oral dam (latex designed to be used over your clit while going down on you)—-going down on you puts me at risk.   If you want me to wear a condom I will—but I really don’t want anything but my naked tongue on your clit.  And what about the risk to you giving me oral?  I’m assuming you don’t want to be sucking on a condom.  So it would be nice to know I’m not going to “get anything” (other than a squealing woman) from you–and certainly don’t want to “give anything” to anyone (though I’m 99.999999% sure I don’t have anything).  25 years is a long time—and neither I nor my wife have symptoms of anything.  I rarely even get a cold.  If you think my medical facts are in error—please feel free to correct me.   
The movie is running continually in my head too–and causing the same problem between my legs.  My resolve to not “take care of it myself” was lost before I went to sleep last night in bed.  Next time finish what you start—so I don’t have to myself!!!! 
I’ll assume all your friends are women—-and none of your lunches or dinner will lead to hot sex in public parking garages.  JUST KIDDING!  Again—-not possessive—just want to be safe.  Have fun—-understand you won’t be available much this weekend.  Maybe chat tomorrow night sometime?
Serious hugging, kissing, and want much more SO BAD!
P.S.—Had another fantasy.  You let me take you to a concert with music of my choice (selfish request since you might not like my taste in music).  Then next time you let me take you to a concert of your choice—which I might not like so much—but I want to “enter your world”.  To me being a “match” doesn’t mean we have to like everything the same.  Music is like food.  But the sex definitely has to be good—and I have a feeling that’s NOT going to be a problem  “Just sayin’.”  
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Saturday, April 5, 2014 4:30 PM
Re: Two poems
Cool poems!………….Thanks!
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Apr 5, 2014 6:10 PM 
Subject: rushing ahead and out of control
Ok….so I’m rushing way ahead of us and getting totally out of control.  You haven’t even decided if we’re a real match yet—even though “there’s potential.”  But my “Wild Man” is “stomping at the bit. Don’t be frightened though—I can keep him on a leash.  If nothing else–just “be amused.”
So you’re in my head and you’re quite a “pest” in there.  After this I’m going to try and “swat you away” so I can get some things done I need to.  But here’s “too much more”….
This is just me “rambling on”—wanting to know you and you know me—-until we get to the really good stuff (more sex hopefully soon).  Like I said before—music is like food.  We may have different tastes.  But hopefully that’s not a “deal breaker” for you.  It isn’t for me.
I have a feeling that while my politics are more “conservative” than yours–that in musical taste I’m probably more to the wild, loud and “darker” side than you.  I used to listen to only classical music for a long time.  Now I listen only either to classic rock (Stones, Hendrix, Doors, Clapton, Traffic, Aerosmith, Allman Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, etc., etc.—or contemporary blues (Stevie Ray Vaughn, Robert Cray, Albert King, Buddy Guy, Joe Bonamassa, etc., etc.).  One of today’s greatest, contemporary-blues artists in his generation (he’s only in his 30s) is Joe Bonamassa.  
I am dead serious about this proposition (here’s where I’m “crazy” and getting way ahead of us)—-I would seriously go online and buy two tickets to see him WITH YOU—at either the Providence Performing Arts Center, Thursday, May 15 at 8:00 pm—-or at The Bushnell in Harford, CT on Saturday, May 17 at 8:00 pm.
He is almost a “musical prodigy.”  He used to open for B. B. King when he was only 12 years old.  The first song he ever taught himself to play on the electric guitar was “Further On Up the Road” by Eric Clapton.  Clapton was a huge influence in how he plays guitar.  Clapton himself loves and plays lots of blues music—even though most people think of him as a “rock” star.
Bonamassa is so good that he played at the Royal Albert Hall in London in 2010.  And Clapton–recognizing how good he is–agreed to come out and play “Further On Up the Road” with him at that performance.  You can see Clapton and Bonamassa playing at the Royal Albert Hall in London in 2010 by going to Bonamassa’s website, scrolling down to the video that has a picture of Clapton and Bonamassa on it—and is titled:  “Eric Clapton Plays with Joe Bonamassa LIVE on Joe’s Euro Tour.”  (You probably already know this–but if you double click on the video it will fill your whole monitor screen.)
Check it out.  If you do, watch how Clapton admires Bonamassa’s playing as they “trade licks” during their duet.  For Bonamassa it was a “double dream come true”–both playing at the Royal Albert Hall (which only the “most elite” get to play at)–and playing with his musical idol–Eric Clapton:
So want to go to one of the above shows with me?  I’m serious (and crazy)—-and just “aching”…….stop it, I like it!
Wild Man 
P.S.—-Ok, I know….it’s too much too fast.  I’m trusting you to be able to just “laugh it off” (even though I’m serious).

Two ships passing

Yahoo IM 
to The Lawyer
Dec 29, 2013 8:26 PM Sassy: Boo?
From: Sassy
To: The Lawyer
Sent: Thu, Jan 2, 2014 2:32 PM
Subject: Let’s say
Happy New Year hot stuff!  I hope your 2014 is off to a grand start. 
Let’s say… you’re back from your holiday travels.  And the snow is canceling meetings, so there might be a gap in your schedule.  And my office is closed now and tomorrow.  The driving will be bad but not that bad.  So we could make it to a certain hotel has rooms available.  For not too much.  And you would be interested in seeing me… touching me… tasting me.  Naked. 
If any of that is true… and leads you to invite me to see you… I’d like that.  🙂 
If not, have a great weekend!  Mwah!
Yahoo IM 
from The Lawyer 
Jan 06, 2014 5:14 PM The Lawyer: Happy new year!!!

The Journey

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

by Mary Oliver
b. 1935
American poet who has won the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize. The New York Times described her as “far and away, [America’s] best-selling poet”

Lube is good

Sunday, May 20
11:04am Phil
morning, 2 hour bike ride at a brutal pace, was awesome! Another gorgeous day!
Lube is good.
Hiya!  Here’s a sappy poem that’s floating around the net.  The words spoke to me, “Send me to PHILIP!”  So here they are to make you go awwwww….
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you’re feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things, I’m finding,
Are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who’s always there.
I’ve never played with lube. One guy talked about a warming lube called System Jo.  Expensive but you only need a few drops to make things interesting, so the bottle is good for a lot of play.
Hope you had a good Sunday.  Was at the place with fish tacos tonight.  Thought of you.  🙂

It’s all about sex

Pensive Gaze 
by Miriam Briks Polish/American born 1957

Sun and Moon
by Gina Zeitlin

It’s all about sex,
we both know that.
But what I wonder is
after every molecule of desire
in my body has been satisfied-
the sudden moistening, the deep
fierce aching and rising heat,
the throbbing glory of release and the cries
of need and pleasure have dissolved
into the air,
Something like my soul slips from me
and goes to you,
without choice or question,
and wraps itself around you
all night, like the breath
of the moon
And why
I carry the thought of you
as constant as any sun
in my heart.