[photo of me at my desk at work]
Not a word from the Usual Man since midday yesterday. No answer to three messages. No response to the perfect blow job video? Hmmm…
Why wouldn’t he write? He’s traveling. Driving. Busy with family. Right?
No time for a quick text? He can’t pop into the men’s room and send a sentence? Nothing? Really? He managed to keep in touch last weekend…
I am not panicking. It’s only been 24 hours.
Okay… I am panicking… a little. Okay… a lot. He wouldn’t just go silent after telling me our time on Monday was spectacular and writing every day since? Would he? The universe wouldn’t take away two men in less than a month, men I thought I had a special connection with? Right?
I’ll wait to really panic. There’s plenty of time over the weekend to panic. *sigh
Argh… I hate silence.
Here’s my question for today: Can I “fish in my own pond?”
I’ve faced so many questions – seems like every time I get approached by a guy there is some issue or kink or something that has to be pondered. Can I deal with that? or this other thing? Is sex worth dealing with it? Beyond the whole “being with a married man” thing that I talked myself through in the first weeks chatting with Philip, I’ve run into so many wrinkles! Most of which most people say are a bad idea. Or I haven’t done them and don’t know if I want to start! What matters? What doesn’t?
A guy who smokes weed all the time?
The guy who is into olive oil massage?
A guy who is a sub?
A guy who is a dom?
A guy who wants to listen to me poop?
A traveling man?
A single man?
A guy wearing women’s underwear?
The guy who wants me to ride his motorcycle?
The guy who only wants to write to set up meets?
The guy who wants me to visit his house?
The guy who can’t spell?
I’ve crossed a lot of lines, tried a lot of sexy stuff, broken rules, contradicted conventional wisdom… but I have never dated anyone I worked with. Never had an offer to do so!
So can I meet someone who works where I work? I keep thinking of course I can. And then thinking I absolutely can’t! Help!
It’s not a pond exactly… more like a Great Lake! And he is on the far shore. Not in my office, not a supervisor or even in my chain of command.
But still… is it worth the risk? What can happen? Could I lose my job? What if I break it off and he’s mean and tells people? It’s usually the woman who gets canned when these things come out. Ugh. That would really suck.
Okay… I admit it… I googled him. My Google fu is strong. If you give me two or three pieces of information about you? I can usually find you. So I know his first name, probably, and where he works. And what he does. It didn’t take me long to find a guy who could be him, and then find enough info to know it was the same guy.
Oh my… he’s a BIG FISH! Yikes! Does that change the question? Can I meet a Big Fish?
I had a moment of pride that I managed to attract someone so distinguished! Then I had a moment of terror imagining what might happen to him or to me if we were discovered. I usually have to worry about a guy’s wife finding out, but this is much bigger. If I am going to stop, I should stop now, right?
I realize I am getting ahead of myself. We may not even click in person. I should at least see what he looks like, listen to him… right? I have a special feeling about him.. a kindred spirit. *sigh* We can work this out, right?
What should I do?!!!
300,000… that is a BIG NUMBER! I don’t see that number very often but I saw it this evening because my humble blog reached a major milestone sometime today. It blows my mind. While I was having a wacky day at work, someone clicked on my blog for 300,000th time! Wowie zowie! Was that you? Thank you!
I so appreciate you reading and commenting, celebrating my best days with me, sticking with me when life is not great, and coming back to find out what wild adventure I get up to next!
I can’t tell anyone in my real life, so I hope you will celebrate with me! I’m doing the Sassy Happy Dance!
It took me a long time (over two years) to get to 100,000 hits on March 3, 2014… 27 months. And then another 17 months to get to 200,000! It’s been just over a year since I hit 250,000.
Here’s a fun graph from Blogger that shows my blog’s hits by month from December 2011 to now. Nothing like a great graph! Hard to believe it’s been almost six years since I discovered Riff Dawg’s sexy blog! I spent the entire Thanksgiving weekend reading it and realizing I had to start sharing the story of my sex life with the entire internet!
July 10, 2016 Sunday
“I will always be the virgin-prostitute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman.”
from Ravenous Butterflies on Facebook
July 3, 2016 Sunday
Fascinating bird witness to a murder.
Obituary writing raised to an art form, remembering one of the most important voices of our time. May his memory be a blessing.
Hiya Dear Readers!
Quick recommendation for you! James Break has a new blog! I am so excited! Check it out!!
Letters To Me
That’s right – the wonderful writer from Break Out is starting off in a different direction with a new premise. Join me in seeing what he has to say in this new corner of the blogosphere!