Actually Like Me

   Thursday, April 10, 2014 

     Kris: Just left last meeting…going to gym…home by 10:20…can u/want to chat then? 8:21 PM
     Me: Sure! Sounds great! 8:22 PM
     Kris: Big hug & kiss…huge smile…can’t stop thinking of u…fantasizing…later…mwah! 8:26 PM
·       Apr 10 10:37 PM Kris: Hi!…haven’t been online all day…want to check something…be right back!
·       Apr 10 10:37 PM Sassy: Okay
·       Apr 10 10:42 PM Kris: back…tests all negative!!!!…read your email…makes me want you more.
·       Apr 10 10:42 PM Sassy: I gave them the samples late this afternoon.
·       Apr 10 10:42 PM Sassy: Not sure when I’ll hear… probably Monday?
·       Apr 10 10:43 PM Sassy: They didn’t make me schedule a visit, just popped in to the lab. So it was free.
·       Apr 10 10:43 PM Sassy: I got all 8 tests, I think
·       Apr 10 10:44 PM Kris: to answer your question in your email about how i felt about getting the first 6 negative results…
·       Apr 10 10:45 PM Kris: not surprised…and expected the same from the last 2…but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have a tiny bit of “concern”…but NOT lying about my sexual history…so there is no reason they should have been positive
·       Apr 10 10:46 PM Kris: besides you now knowing i can’t hurt your health in any way…one thing you said in your email is very important to me…
·       Apr 10 10:46 PM Kris: you said “i’m learning about std testing…and i’m learning about you…
·       Apr 10 10:46 PM Kris: just before i got on i thought to myself…i want her to know she can trust me…that i’m not going to lie to her
·       Apr 10 10:47 PM Sassy: You are different
·       Apr 10 10:48 PM Kris: from?
·       Apr 10 10:48 PM Sassy: Every other man I’ve met
·       Apr 10 10:48 PM Sassy: And I like that
·       Apr 10 10:48 PM Kris: ok…i was thinking about that too…
·       Apr 10 10:49 PM Kris: in order to have “fun cheating” people have to do all kinds of “mental gymnastics” it seems to me…
·       Apr 10 10:49 PM Kris: be super casual…non-committal…no strings attached…blah, blah, blah…and i get it…
·       Apr 10 10:49 PM Kris: but the truth is I don’t do “casual” so well.
·       Apr 10 10:50 PM Kris: but at the same time I don’t want to scare you away with “too intense”…
·       Apr 10 10:50 PM Kris: I WANT TO HAVE FUN…
·       Apr 10 10:50 PM Kris: but it’s in my nature to be committed.
·       Apr 10 10:50 PM Kris: of course i lie too
·       Apr 10 10:50 PM Kris: i’m lying to my wife.
·       Apr 10 10:50 PM Kris: but so far i haven’t lied to you
·       Apr 10 10:50 PM Kris: and i hope i don’t
·       Apr 10 10:52 PM Sassy: I hope that can remain true
·       Apr 10 10:52 PM Kris: if i thought i wanted to have sex with another woman…that would be hard for me to deal with…i don’t have your experience with that…
·       Apr 10 10:53 PM Kris: other than my wife…
·        Apr 10 10:55 PM Sassy: two years ago I had never had sex except as an expression of my love for a man
·       Apr 10 10:55 PM Kris: did you mean for “one” man?
·       Apr 10 10:56 PM Sassy: Definitely
·       Apr 10 10:56 PM Kris: i was afraid you were going to say…”but then i started seeing what women could do for me…LOL
·       Apr 10 10:57 PM Sassy: No… I am completely het
·       Apr 10 10:57 PM Sassy: I’ve tried to act on girl crushes and it just doesn’t work
·       Apr 10 10:57 PM Kris: random interruption…change of subject
·       Apr 10 10:58 PM Kris: i could be wrong but i think the more you trust me the hotter the sex is going to be…so…
·       Apr 10 10:59 PM Kris: if i don’t put any kind of pressure on you about anything you’re not ready for…that helps you trust me…and makes the sex better in the long run…at least that’s my theory…so…
·       Apr 10 10:59 PM Kris: don’t worry about telling me your real name…
·       Apr 10 10:59 PM Sassy: I do worry
·       Apr 10 11:00 PM Kris: no…i mean you don’t have to tell me it…
·       Apr 10 11:00 PM Sassy: Not about you, but about others who could see your email.
·       Apr 10 11:00 PM Sassy: Oh?
·       Apr 10 11:00 PM Kris: yes…don’t feel that you do…
·       Apr 10 11:00 PM Kris: don’t think i’m going to interpret it as you don’t trust me…
·       Apr 10 11:00 PM Sassy: It will be on the tests
·       Apr 10 11:01 PM Kris: you can white it out and do what i did…
·       Apr 10 11:01 PM Kris: copy and paste it to an MS Word doc…i don’t need to know if you don’t want me to
·       Apr 10 11:02 PM Sassy: Okay. Thanks.
·       Apr 10 11:02 PM Sassy: Just heard too many scary stories about mad spouses
·       Apr 10 11:03 PM Kris: or…if you want to tell me in person…i could know it that way…but only use Sassy online…but again…it’s up to you…really…
·       Apr 10 11:04 PM Kris: what scary stories of mad spouses have you hears?
·       Apr 10 11:04 PM Sassy: They are endless… awful. I’ll tell you some in person if you want.
·       Apr 10 11:05 PM Sassy: Betrayed spouses are big trouble
·       Apr 10 11:07 PM Kris: ok…again…me saying this may not “reassure” you…but i’ve already betrayed my wife…been caught…and she had absolutely no interest in even knowing who the women were…and she would never seek to find them…her only concern would be her hurt at my betrayal…that may not reassure you…but it’s as true as everything else i’ve told you…and she’s already shown how she will react…and it’s not by “going after” someone I cheated with…she would only be very hurt and ask how I could do that to her…and hold me 100% responsible for it…
·       Apr 10 11:08 PM Sassy: Interesting
·       Apr 10 11:08 PM Kris: what?
·       Apr 10 11:08 PM Sassy: That is good. Unusual.
·       Apr 10 11:10 PM Kris: my wife is a really good person…a very kind and merciful person…a very forgiving person…i was extremely bad as a drunk…she’s forgiven me a lot…compared to what i’ve already done to her…she would consider some woman i cheated with “small potatoes”…but ME she’d hold responsible…not a woman i cheated with…
·       Apr 10 11:11 PM Sassy: Sounds like me
·       Apr 10 11:11 PM Kris: in what way?
·       Apr 10 11:12 PM Sassy: Good person, forgiving, blame husband
·       Apr 10 11:12 PM Sassy: He made out with a hotwife while her H watched tonight
·       Apr 10 11:12 PM Kris: your H did?
·       Apr 10 11:13 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Apr 10 11:13 PM Kris: how do u know?
·       Apr 10 11:13 PM Sassy: He told me
·       Apr 10 11:14 PM Kris: is that normal in your relationship?
·       Apr 10 11:14 PM Sassy: that he tells me about his adventures? Yes
·       Apr 10 11:14 PM Sassy: Not a lot of details, just the high points or different stuff
·       Apr 10 11:14 PM Kris: do u tell him about yours?
·       Apr 10 11:15 PM Sassy: Not much
·       Apr 10 11:15 PM Kris: why do you say you forgive him but blame him…does it still hurt a little?
·       Apr 10 11:16 PM Sassy: I forgave him when he was cheating. I don’t think about it much now.
·       Apr 10 11:16 PM Kris: what do you mean when he was cheating…in the distant past…before you knew he was…but the found out?
·       Apr 10 11:16 PM Sassy: right
·       Apr 10 11:16 PM Kris: how did you find out?
·       Apr 10 11:16 PM Sassy: Did not blame the women
·       Apr 10 11:17 PM Sassy: He would admit it eventually
·       Apr 10 11:17 PM Kris: did you ask him…or did he just tell you?
·       Apr 10 11:17 PM Sassy: He would say
·       Apr 10 11:17 PM Sassy: He doesn’t know how to spell discreet
·       Apr 10 11:18 PM Kris: sorry…but lol…what do you mean?
·       Apr 10 11:18 PM Sassy: He can’t keep a secret in a bucket with a lid on it
·       Apr 10 11:19 PM Kris: so how did you first find out…what did he do specifically that gave himself away?
·       Apr 10 11:19 PM Sassy: He’d get very morose
·       Apr 10 11:19 PM Sassy: Start doing extra chores around the house or buying me a present
·       Apr 10 11:20 PM Sassy: GUILT!
·        Apr 10 11:20 PM Kris: that got you suspicious…you’re THAT “intuitive”!?
·       Apr 10 11:21 PM Sassy: He is very predictable
·       Apr 10 11:21 PM Sassy: Differences speak volumes
·       Apr 10 11:22 PM Kris: but there must have been the moment of “indisputable evidence”…or did he just fess up?
·       Apr 10 11:22 PM Sassy: You need to be very careful at home. Don’t be all giddy in a new way.
·       Apr 10 11:22 PM Sassy: He’d fess up pretty quickly
·       Apr 10 11:22 PM Kris: my wife already asked me if the next thing is an affair
·       Apr 10 11:22 PM Sassy: What?
·       Apr 10 11:22 PM Kris: she asked me that about a month ago
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Sassy: Why?
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Kris: losing weight…
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Kris: working out…
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Sassy: Ah yes
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Kris: listening to different music…and loud…
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Kris: dancing to the music…
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Kris: acting crazy…
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Kris: buying leather jacket…
·       Apr 10 11:23 PM Sassy: OMG, not a leather jacket! Description: )
·       Apr 10 11:24 PM Kris: today i bought new chaps…like a picture with just those on?
·       Apr 10 11:24 PM Sassy: You are so frisky!
·       Apr 10 11:25 PM Kris: a really hot biker chick helped me buy the chaps, new helmet (bluetooth in helmet to stream music from phone or ipod), gloves and new boots…she rides too so knew how to direct me to the right gear…
·       Apr 10 11:26 PM Kris: she works in the store i bought my bike at…
·       Apr 10 11:26 PM Kris: but i’m a “one woman man”…(ok…two woman…but not three)…
·       Apr 10 11:26 PM Sassy: Ask her to go for a ride?
·       Apr 10 11:27 PM Kris: no…she was “out of my league”…but i did flirt with her a little when she was watching me struggle to put on the chaps…
·       Apr 10 11:27 PM Kris: i was having trouble zippering them up…
·       Apr 10 11:27 PM Sassy: Flirting is good
·       Apr 10 11:27 PM Kris: she said to me…want some help?
·       Apr 10 11:28 PM Sassy: I’m better at unzipping
·       Apr 10 11:28 PM Kris: i said…no…i need to learn to do this myself…unless you’re going to be there all the time to do it for me…which would be nice.
·       Apr 10 11:28 PM Sassy: Ooh… smooth
·       Apr 10 11:28 PM Kris: she ignored the last sentence…but that was flirting.
·       Apr 10 11:29 PM Kris: yeah…i said it kind of fast and soft…smooth flirting that she just ignored.
·       Apr 10 11:30 PM Sassy: Red head?
·       Apr 10 11:30 PM Kris: truth is…it was “just business”…what was really helpful was that she said to me: “forget about trying to look cool…buy what’s most comfortable and safe.” so i got the right stuff
·       Apr 10 11:31 PM Kris: she said…i ride all the time…in cold weather too…i bundle all up…i don’t care what i look like…and if someone doesn’t like how i look…they don’t have to look at me.
·       Apr 10 11:32 PM Kris: that made me laugh…she knew what she was talking about and i didn’t make bad choices to “look cool”…but the stuff i bought does look cool…but is very functional.
·       Apr 10 11:32 PM Kris: to answer your question…
·       Apr 10 11:33 PM Kris: she had long dirty blonde hair with streaks of red or purple or something…doesn’t matter…this is weird…i want to focus on you…sorry i even brought it up…
·       Apr 10 11:33 PM Sassy: no worries
·       Apr 10 11:33 PM Sassy: It’s fun to see you spreading your wings
·       Apr 10 11:34 PM Kris: i’m just your ordinary weak man…but that doesn’t mean i’m going to do anything about it.
·       Apr 10 11:35 PM : )
Kris: what did you mean about sending you 3 pictures after we meet…did you mean don’t want to see nude pics till after you see in person?
·       Apr 10 11:35 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Apr 10 11:35 PM Kris: i would have sent them now…but honestly am a little relieved you said that…and thought you might…as i get to know you
·       Apr 10 11:35 PM Sassy: I like to see in the flesh first
·       Apr 10 11:36 PM Sassy: like opening a present
·       Apr 10 11:36 PM Sassy: don’t want to know what’s in the box
·       Apr 10 11:36 PM Kris: i like that way of thinking…and there’s something i would add to that…
·       Apr 10 11:37 PM Kris: which is…to me it’s not “what it looks like” so much as “how you use it” and “what it does for me in the moment”…
·       Apr 10 11:37 PM Sassy: right
·       Apr 10 11:37 PM Kris: and then “how i see you” is joined to how you make me feel…
·       Apr 10 11:37 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Apr 10 11:37 PM Kris: so if you make me feel good…you are by definition “hot” and “attractive” to me…
·       Apr 10 11:37 PM Sassy: I don’t judge or compare.. just another part of the puzzle
·       Apr 10 11:37 PM Sassy: Ha… I’ll be smoking hot then
·       Apr 10 11:38 PM Kris: that’s what i’m counting on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…and why i’m getting impatient…but you’re not teasing me…we’ll get there.
·       Apr 10 11:39 PM Kris: well…your’e teasing me a little…but in a fun way…
·       Apr 10 11:39 PM Sassy: It’s not a tease… it’s a preview. or something
·       Apr 10 11:39 PM Kris: right…better way to put it…
·        Apr 10 11:39 PM Sassy: tantalizing
·       Apr 10 11:39 PM Kris: yes
·       Apr 10 11:40 PM Sassy: You haven’t known me two weeks yet!
·       Apr 10 11:40 PM Kris: meaning?
·       Apr 10 11:41 PM Sassy: this is a not a long, drawn out thing yet..
·       Apr 10 11:42 PM Kris: i know…but i’m a little “hung over” from my 3 month of chatting by an AM woman only to be abruptly dumped…
·       Apr 10 11:43 PM Kris: but you’re right…and we’re “moving right along”…aren’t we?
·       Apr 10 11:43 PM Sassy: Sure
·       Apr 10 11:43 PM Sassy: Yes indeed
·       Apr 10 11:43 PM Sassy: It’s good to talk first, so it isn’t like I could be anyone
·       Apr 10 11:44 PM Kris: meaning i’m not just having sex with “just anyone”…but you…because i know you…to some degree?
·       Apr 10 11:44 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Apr 10 11:45 PM Kris: and the more i get to know you the more i like you and the more i like you the more i want to have sex with you…especially after you “attacked” me in public…and sucked on my finger at lunch…omg
·       Apr 10 11:46 PM Kris: and grabbed me in a public parking lot…
·       Apr 10 11:46 PM Sassy: You inspired me
·       Apr 10 11:46 PM Sassy: I need to teach you about where to park!
·       Apr 10 11:46 PM Kris: what do you mean?
·       Apr 10 11:47 PM Sassy: Out of the stream of things, high up or low down… away from most cars but not too isolated, facing a wall
·       Apr 10 11:48 PM Kris: if i come into town on my Harley we’ll have to use your car…so you can pick the spot next time…lol
·       Apr 10 11:48 PM Sassy: But with some luck we won’t have to deal with that again
·       Apr 10 11:48 PM Kris: right…we’ll be in bed…
·       Apr 10 11:48 PM Sassy: naked
·       Apr 10 11:49 PM Kris: yummmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!
·       Apr 10 11:49 PM Sassy: amazing how one word can do magic things, eh?
·       Apr 10 11:49 PM Kris: like?
·       Apr 10 11:50 PM Kris: naked?
·       Apr 10 11:51 PM Sassy: Yes
·       Apr 10 11:52 PM Kris: right!
·       Apr 10 11:52 PM Sassy: Were you imagining it?
·       Apr 10 11:54 PM Kris: yes but not in a lot of detail…it helps when you describe things more specifically…when you were describing “basics” that you liked it was very exciting…partly because it was very…trying to find the right words…it wasn’t only about “hot and fast and heavy”…(want that too!)…but about more subtle…and details like you could get off just by me finding the right spot on your back…tells me what you like.
·        Apr 10 11:57 PM Sassy: Fascinates me what you focus on
·       Apr 10 11:57 PM Kris: why?
·       Apr 10 11:57 PM Sassy: Helps me learn to please you
·       Apr 10 11:57 PM Kris: how so…example please
·       Apr 10 11:57 PM Sassy: Lets me look inside your mind
·       Apr 10 11:58 PM Sassy: Which is where most of the pleasure happens
·       Apr 10 11:58 PM Sassy: examples of what?
·       Apr 10 11:58 PM Kris: what have you learned so far…that you think would help you please me?
·       Apr 10 11:59 PM Sassy: Knowing little quirky things about me
·       Apr 11 12:00 AM Kris: continue…i’m losing our train of thought.
·       Apr 11 12:01 AM Sassy: me too… getting late
·       Apr 11 12:01 AM Kris: question before we go
·       Apr 11 12:01 AM Sassy: Sure
·       Apr 11 12:01 AM Sassy: I want to talk forever but I can’t…
·       Apr 11 12:01 AM Kris: what did you mean when you said you thought they would test for 8 but weren’t sure?
·       Apr 11 12:02 AM Sassy: I talked to the nurse twice, wasn’t sure the second part would get communicated before I got there. But they did all 8
·       Apr 11 12:02 AM Sassy: HIV Hep B & C, Chlamydia Gonnorhea Syphilis Herpes 1 & 2
·       Apr 11 12:03 AM Kris: those are fine…ones i had done…
·       Apr 11 12:03 AM Kris: let me say just one more thing…then i’ll let you go…ok?
·       Apr 11 12:04 AM Sassy: Yes
·       Apr 11 12:05 AM Kris: every time i email you i worry that i’ve annoyed you…and your answers are always so sweet and nice…and every time i ask if you want to chat you seem to…i expect you to not want to…but i’m going to try and stop worrying and assume you actually like me…but tell me if you just can’t…and i’ll just have to trust i’m not dreaming.
·       Apr 11 12:06 AM Kris: that’s it…
·       Apr 11 12:06 AM Sassy: Yes. Please relax.
·       Apr 11 12:07 AM Sassy: If thing change, I will say.
·       Apr 11 12:07 AM Sassy: I hate silence.
·       Apr 11 12:07 AM Kris: ok…you’re like a snake charmer…i’m falling asleep on your naked breasts now…goodnight Sassy…Mwahh!
·       Apr 11 12:07 AM Sassy: Goodnight Kris. Sleep well.
·       Apr 11 12:08 AM Kris: Thanks…you too…smile…bye.

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