Mr Scat

From: Archie
To: Sassy
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 9:00 AM
Re: Connections
Hi Sassy,
I fibbed about one thing on AM. My zip code. I’m two towns over.   
I find your fib amusing for a couple of reasons. First that you would add years instead of subtracting years and second that you would add only 2 years. I’ve been trying to convince people that I’m 48 for the last 6 years but to no avail. 
I will send a picture if you want me to but I have to warn you that I take the worst picture in the world. My license picture makes me look like a homeless person who was arrested for DUI. It could end a budding relationship but I’ll send it. 
I don’t crave anything sexually in particular. I love to play in bed. One woman loved her armpits being licked. There is no area of a woman’s body that I wouldn’t touch, lick or insert my erection if the woman desired it. All parts of a woman’s body is a turn on for me. 
I got married at age 29. I had a number of serious relationships between age 16 and 29. After I got married I was faithfull for 10 years. I really worked at being a Brady Bunch father but as I said before, I wasn’t built that way. I had one affair that lasted from 1987( I met her in 1986 but the dance took a year) and the affair ended in 1989. Then I was the Brady Bunch father again for 11 years. In 2000 I began another affair that lasted until 2008. 
As far as food goes, there is a saying that some people live to eat and some people eat to live. I’m in the latter category. My favorite drink is a large coffee from Dunkin Donuts and my favorite food is a handful of dry roasted cashews and that isn’t too far from the truth. My favorite restaurants are casual seaside places with fresh seafood.  
Do you have any children? 
Did I tell you that I watch porn on the net? I sometimes look at some of the fetish ones. I have a coule of fetishes. For one – I like feet. I like to suck a womans toes but only if it turns her on. For me, I get turned on by doing to a woman the things that turn her on. I hope I explained that right.
This is great fun.
Archie
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From: Sassy
To: Archie 
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 12:58 PM
Good morning!  What a great way to start my day, reading about you.  
Ah, the town fib!  I’ve seen that in every man I’ve talked to, except one.  Most men make themselves 2-3 younger, 2 inches taller and 20 pounds lighter!  I’ve learned that stats don’t tell me much about a guy.  I do like him to be taller than me, but have even bent that rule sometimes.  Even age doesn’t say much… I changed my age so my pals on AM wouldn’t automatically recognize me, and I would have some good news to tell a guy.  I thought being older could protect me from the young creeps, but no.  I have met older men.. I think the oldest was 61 or 62 (59 on AM) so you would be a new high if you decide you want to see me.  Have you usually been with younger or older women?  
I’ve never been to your town, other than whizzing through on the highways.  Have you always lived around there?  I was raised in upstate NY, came to MA for college then settled in Boston.  
If you feel nervous about sending a photo, don’t worry about it, unless you really want to see mine.  I was very nervous about mine at first, but have loosened up lately.  I am not a supermodel, but not a troll.  I am not great with the camera, but hand it off to others at various occasions and use those.  Except the racier photos – I take those myself with the help of the bathroom mirrors.  
I do live to eat – I find food and restaurants fascinating, and tend to think in metaphors mixing sex and food.  And since I am not getting much sex, I channel it into food!  I can’t drink liquor.  My favorite drink is a tall, cold glass of iced tea.  I also like iced chai lattes from Starbucks but only when someone is going for coffee and demands to buy me something. 
Having an answer to “what do you crave” is important!  Even if you don’t, pick something you enjoy.  I don’t judge, just want to know which p0rn I should send.  🙂   It is rare to find a man who is interested in what I want, how I feel, so I would relish that!  
You are making me smile – a very good thing!  
-Sassy
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From: Archie
To: Sassy
Sent: Friday, January 4, 2013 2:32 PM
Subject: Re: Connections
Hi Sassy,
I don’t mind sending a picture. I just took this picture after visiting a building site. The girls/women whom I have dated have been my age or one or two years younger or older. I have grown kids. 
What kind of porn do you like? 
Archie
[He attached an awful photo of him sitting on a couch in a sweatshirt and jeans, wrinkled face with huge bags under his eyes, receding hairline, scraggly gray beard. Oddly, it made me want to see him, to compare because no one can pick this photo as their best shot!]
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From: Sassy
To: Archie
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 3:26 PM
Hiya Archie!
Thanks for the photo!  So great to see you, know who I’m talking to.  Here’s one of me in return.  Hope you don’t run screaming.  It’s from March – my hair is longer now but otherwise about the same.  
So I’d be much younger compared to your other ladies… I wonder if that matters at all?  Once people get above about 50, it usually doesn’t.
Do you and your wife get along for the most part?  How did you meet her?  I am probably very different from her.
I like p0rn with real people, men and women in the frame, being nice to each other.  But I find it’s tough to find that.  So I look for stuff I know men will like.  Lately I’ve found some great .gifs, the little 10-sec loops, that set off my imagination.  I’ve learned a lot from p0rn.  It is bizarre the things I did not know about my body and how to please men just a year ago.  Is it safe for me to send you links?  
Any fun plans for the weekend? 
-S
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From: Archie
To: Sassy
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 3:53 PM 
Hi Sassy,
Very cute photo. I can tell that you are an apple shape. I actually look younger and better in person. the camera has always managed to find the bad parts of my face and amplify them. i knew a woman who was average looking but the camera loved her. She looked like a movie star in pictures. I can’t believe that anyone would let themselves go to get so large. If I gain 3 pounds I cut back. I have weighed between 175 and 180 since high school. I can still fit into my high school football jacket and my army fatigue coat. 
By the way I like women who don’t shave their armpits. I got hooked on that when I was in the army in Germany. Most of the german women don’t shave. Or at least they didn’t when I was there. 
Do you also send x rated pictures of yourself? I could send a couple. 
I like fetish porn. I love to hear women fart and take a shit. It goes back to when I was little and my mother would take me into the bathroom while she went. She was a big breasted woman with a thick bush. She had no problem farting and shitting while she talked to me. Even as a kid, it turned me on. I used to listen as my father would give her an enema. I hope I haven’t grossed you out but I may as well put everything on the table so to speak.
Archie
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From: Archie 
To: Sassy
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 10:37 pm 
hi Sassy,
I guess I grossed you out. Sorry
Archie
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From: Sassy
To: Archie
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 10:50 pm 
No!  Sorry for the delay.  I didn’t mean to worry you.  That was fascinating!  I adore it when a man lets me inside his head and I get to see things he doesn’t tell most people, and that I’ve never heard before.  
We helped a co-worker move some bookcases tonight and went off for spicy Chinese food.  
Here’s a demure sexy photo of my best feature to make up for my tardiness.  Enjoy!  
-S
[I attached my cleavage shot in the black bra]
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From: Archie
To: Sassy
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 10:53 PM
Those are beautiful! did I tell you that I love an apple shape woman. What sort of sexy picture would you like to see of me?
Archie
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From: Sassy
To: Archie
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 10:57 PM
Thank you for the compliment!  I fought hard to keep them so I figure I get to show them off now!  
Hmmm… whatever you think is best.  I am a sucker for shoulders, toes and belly buttons.  🙂  but a great erect cock is always good too! 
-S
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From: Archie
To: Sassy
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 11:00 PM 
I’ll get you something tomorrow. Perhaps an erect cock or big low hangers. What do you think of my women shitting fetish? I hope it’s not a deal breaker?
Archie
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From: Sassy
To: Archie
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 11:13 PM 
I’ll look forward to seeing them. 
Very interesting.  Is it a deal breaker if I am not sure if I can help you with that?  Whatever turns you on.  It is what it is.  I am really not judgmental.  I am not squeamish about leaving the bathroom door open.  Has it been a problem with other women? 
I have run into men with all sorts of things that turn them on that are not mainstream.  One of the nicest guys I met was wearing women’s panties!  I could’ve dealt with some silky fabric and lace, but he wanted to be humiliated for it like his mother did.  Being mean is not in my nature.   The breath of human sexuality is an amazing thing!
-S
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From: Archie
To: Sassy
Sent: Jan 4, 2013 11:21 PM 
No it is not a deal breaker if you can’t do it. I always told my girlfriends but it was later in the relationship. At this point in my life, I would rather put it all on the table up front. I’m not into wearing panties or being humiliated. I’m too much of a man for that. 
If you would leave the bathroom door open when you went, that would be ok with me. I have never pushed any woman to do anything she didn’t want to do. I’m just putting it out there. I won’t mention it again. If you want to act on it that would be great. If not so be it. You look good to me either way.
Archie

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Sassy Girl

It's the gal you knew in high school that you've wondered about. And she's got something to say! Time to heat up old flames!

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