Thanksgiving Tips

To: Scot
Sat, Nov 17, 2012 at 12:31 AM
From: Sassy 
Hiya Scot, 
Wow… I bet you are something when you get in the zone in lecture.  Do you have class next week or will you be all mentally constipated from not lecturing?  We have to work until 12:30 pm Wednesday, then have the rest of the week off!  I am looking forward to a quiet weekend… hope you have a good one!  
-S
=============
From: Scot
To: Sassy
Saturday, November 17, 2012 2:44 AM
Hey, S.,
I have to work until Tuesday at 5:00 pm.  Then the REAL ordeal begins, when my sister and her husband and two kids; my OTHER sister and her INSUFFERABLE husband; and my brother and his fiancee come to stay at my house.  My parents, bless their hearts, actually sprung for a hotel, but otherwise I’m hosting my whole dysfunctional family.  Fun, fun, fun.  It’s moments like this that make me want to open a vein.
Can I give you a call on Monday?  I have a window from 4:00 to 4:30.
================
From: Sassy
Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 12:29 AM
To: Scot
Hiya Scot, 
I hope you had a relaxing Saturday.  I sat at the computer catching up with old friends.  Something about Thanksgiving makes me want to know how they’re doing and let them know I am grateful we keep in touch.  I feel as if I’ve traveled to so many places!  I heard from folks from Australia to Wales and many states in between.  
Wow!  That was quite a stream of disdain! Ah, family.  I hope this year will be better because you have a sassy woman to think about.  🙂   Look into using Google Voice so you can call me from your cell without it appearing on your phone bills?  Then you can escape to the porch or go for a post-prandial constitutional and vent to me.  
I used to despise family gatherings, as my older sister and father considered them the perfect occasion for a debate on the philosophical implications of… whatever.  And it would devolve into shouting that sent the rest of the family scurrying away with indigestion and mental anguish.  To fix that, I made us go out to such fine buffets as the Boston Harbor Hotel or Turner Fisheries. Amazing what doesn’t happen when you’re out in public!  And no days of work for my mother, no clean up but alas.. no leftovers.  And I made us go to the movies – no talking there and then a debrief that was amicable for the most part.  It broke the pattern and brought peace.   That is the role of the middle child… peacemaker! 
Now my little sister with the big house hosts (she has the Martha Stewart gene) and invites orphans.  The presence of “strangers” as my mother calls them, makes everyone behave!  And I taught my husband, who gets horribly offended easily, to think, “It’s interesting that they think that,” instead of jumping on people for their wacky ideas.  There was a glitch two years ago when everyone WOULD NOT SHUT UP about cancer two weeks after I was diagnosed and before I knew what the treatment plan would entail and I was very frightened and did not want to think about it.  I ate in the kitchen with my tiny niece who sang Alice’s Restaurant with me!  So now I consider holidays a mild inconvenience.  A free meal.  A day off work.  I am very lucky not to have to travel or cook or host… just clean up until my hands turn into prunes and my back aches.  
Please don’t open a vein before I meet you!  Wait… that didn’t come out right.  I don’t recommend blood-letting at any point.  Perhaps just some leeches? I know… I should not joke.  But I want to make it easier.  I can’t seem to improve my own life this week, but maybe I can add a few smiles to yours?  
Thank you very much for making time to call, but with things so crappy at the office, I don’t dare disappear to talk.  Believe me, I would much rather be talking to you!  Is there any time around the lunch hour?  I know this week is odd, so if not I understand.  I suppose leaving our talks for a rare treat will keep me from taking them for granted.  Hmmm… as with sex, I’d like to get them all the time and see how long it would take to have that happen!  
If all else fails, this time next week it will all be over! 
Hugs with groping!
 -S

================
From: Scot
Nov 18, 2012
To: Sassy
Hey S,
That was a GREAT email.  Thank you.
I’m really sorry things are so unpleasant at work.  Some of my colleagues are jerks, but basically I love my job and wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Still, there are times when I want to quit in frustration and storm out.
Actually, that strategy of inviting strangers to act as a pacifying influence sounds very effective.  Maybe I’ll try it.  I have some Ph.D. students who are too broke to go home for the holidays; perhaps I’ll invite them over on Thanksgiving or subsequent days.  Their presence probably would prevent my sister’s husband from being the all-out ass he normally is.  And they’d get some free food out of it, which, Lord knows, they need.  Good idea.
Lunchtime on Monday is, I regret to report, booked solid.  Lunch is a luxury where I teach.  I guess we’ll have to communicate via email until the holidays are over.  Bet I have to wash more dishes than you!
–Scot

Published by

Sassy Girl

It's the gal you knew in high school that you've wondered about. And she's got something to say! Time to heat up old flames!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *