Welcome to the third part of my stories about the men in my pants, oops!… ahem…past.
If you haven’t read the first two parts and want to catch up on my exploits, click over to
I was alone most of 1978, trying to get over Teddy, the first guy I went all the way with. And not succeeding. There were three guys I tried to like.
#2 The Kissing Cousin
I went to visit my cousin for Spring break in the South. She was at a big state university. She introduced me to our distant cousin, a couple of years older than I was. He cornered me in her dorm room, kissed me very sweetly, then said he was a virgin and wanted to not be. I decided to help him out. He dragged me up to the top of the bunk bed. He was one of those men you hear about…a pencil dick. Literally. Long but thinner than my pinky. And then he couldn’t stay hard.
This was my lesson in “Length isn’t everything.” Whenever a guy tells me he’s 9″ long, I remember Cous and ask how big around he is, too. Not sure whether to count him or not, but we would have if he could have, so I do. Because he was so sweet. I never saw him again. Yes, he’s on Facebook. Yes, he’s lives with a man.
We were pals in high school. He was a year older. I always thought he hung around because he had the hots for my best friend. He moved away in the middle of his senior year (when I was a junior) and then went into the military. We wrote letters back and forth. He asked to visit me at college Veteran’s Day weekend, said he had leave and just wanted to get away. I was puzzled. He walked into my dorm and we were walking up the stairs to put his backback in my room before going out to dinner. He grabbed me on the stairs, pressed me against the wall and kissed me silly. Without unlocking lips, he pushed me up into my room and was incredibly sweet and sexy and inside me very quickly. We spent that entire evening, most of the night and the next morning in bed playing. And then he was gone. I heard that he was killed in the first Gulf War in the early ’90s.
So I was very surprised when I got a note from Classmates.com in late 2010 that he had clicked on my profile! We email back and forth now and then about this and that. He admitted he had been searching for me online for a year! I couldn’t figure out why he remembered me or would spend so much effort searching. Eventually he admitted that he visited me with the express purpose of losing his virginity! I guess you never forget the first one.
He looks very similar to Phil on paper – married, lives in the Midwest with his wife, has two kids, wives both named Sally, Republican, Yankees fan! But he is everything I was afraid Phil would be and isn’t. He is very old-fashioned, conservative and narrow. We are Facebook friends, though his wife is mad that he talks to me about cancer and dealing with doctors. I make it my mission to rock his world view. And thank goodness Phil found me first!
When I was home for Thanksgiving in 1978, I ran into the older brother of my classmates at the grocery store. He had the most gorgeous blue sports car. I asked him if I could go for a ride. He obliged. And kissed me. And took me to a dark park along the river. And had his way with me. It wasn’t any fun. He asked me out to the movies. I went, but we did not click. I was very relieved when he told me two weeks later that he’d met the girl he wanted to marry. The trend continues!
I don’t remember much about him, but I often drool thinking of that car. He’s not on Facebook as far as I can tell.
Please stay tuned for the next installment Sassy’s Past Part 4: Martin.