I hope all 19 of you are having a lovely weekend! I had a little quiet time so I am answering another of the burning questions I get from folks. A huge thank you for asking!
Q. Have you ever used a dating site? Craigslist? OK Cupid? Ashley Madison? Plenty of Fish? Fetlife?
Well, that doesn’t make for a long enough post, does it?
Really… I have enough going on with Phil!
But I am tempted to try to find someone who can see me more often, so while I am sitting home on a Saturday, I decided to take a look at Craigslist, the site that’s the easiest to check out because you don’t have to set up a profile or answer any questions. I’ve heard that the ads are creepy and the photos worse, but what the heck!
So I go to the web site, click on personals. I am fascinated by the categories: strictly platonic, misc romance, casual encounters, missed connections, rants and raves. I’ll have to check those out another time. So I click on “men seeking women.” There’s a legal disclaimer, the adult content warning and the safe sex warning etc. but I go ahead to the ads undaunted.
I scroll down… oh – people put their ages! How interesting, since age doesn’t mean a lot, but whatever. and their location – fascinating! I’m surprised by the number of guys in their 20s. Then there are the abbreviations. I dig deep into my past and translate SWM seeking FWB etc.
I scroll through the ads:
Ticket offers – that’s a good angle – offer premium Red Sox seats or a sold-out concert!
Dancing partner, riding partner, hiking partner, sailing or skiing partner
Dinner and a movie
Shoot pool, play darts, get a beer
Kisses and Cash!
a Spanish woman
an Asian woman
a sexy cougar
a smart busty woman
or a polyamorous atheist nudist (oh my!)
I click on a few ads and find one with wording right out of a certain blog I used to read…dawg! It is oddly compelling… ah, R.D. I miss you so! Most of the text is fine. Just a few lines that makes me want to write back. MUST NOT WRITE BACK!
I am surprised by the photos. They are LOVELY! I heard horror stories of cock shots and ugly bodies, but there are some very handsome men in nice clothes! Wow! This is fun! I want to meet.. NO NO NO.
Then I see an acronym I don’t know. BBW. What is that? The ad says “any woman EXCEPT BBWs.” Can I google that? Oh yes… there’s even a wikipedia page! It stands for “Big Beautiful Woman.” Hunh. There are those words – overweight, fat, chubby, obese…but some of the kinder ones: plus-sized, full-figured, voluptuous, Rubenesque and even my favorite – ZAFTIG! That’s me! And that’s the word that has sent not one but three completely literate blogger gentlemen running for Google define after I used it! HA!
So this fellow who is, excuse me, desperate enough to advertise for a date, does not want to meet me. Okay… he’s just one guy. And if he doesn’t want to meet me, thank goodness he said so upfront. BBWs seem to be the one thing men feel comfortable saying they don’t want. Ugh. Little does he know the amazing emails, chats, texts, phone calls, kisses, blow jobs and HOT SEX he is missing. Not to mention a nice woman who might care for him as no other woman has. Grrrr…..
I take a deep breath and start clicking on more ads. But it is too late… all I see is slim, skinny, small, petite, little… I am not what men think they want. I don’t want to disappoint them with a photo or in person. They’d probably say they have a chubby wife – they deserve something better. You know the saying, “You settle in your marriage… don’t settle in your EMR*!” I understand that. I can’t ask them to look beyond my curvy shape, even though I know I could charm them and satisfy them. And men who know me tell me to stop worrying about my looks.
Now I remember why I am not on any of the dating sites. Thank goodness Phil likes this BBW! I will go back to heating up old flames! HA!
Best of luck to you Craigslist Dudes!