Dear sweet readers,
It’s time once again for an exciting post in the amazing series of “Sassy Answers” when I try to answer a burning question from one of you! Except there’s a problem… I don’t know the answer! But I am going to let that stop me? NO! I’ll blather on for a bit and then you can add your two cents!
Q. When looking for someone to fool around with (big term is Extra-Marital Relations) do you raise or lower your standards?
A. It depends.
(Don’t you love it when I am so clear?!)
I know that no one understands the laws of attraction… but I’ve heard two schools of thought on searching for that special someone for a night or a month or a while. Do you only go for the ones that match your ideal? Or do you broaden out, take chances, check out a wider range of choices?
a. Raise your standards
The conventional wisdom is… don’t settle. Decide what you want and go for it. You probably have to do a lot of compromising at home and deal with a spouse who is not a super model, so when you go out prowling, go for the gusto! Find that person with the big shoulders or perfect tits or the hair color of your dreams! The dating sites encourage this, letting you categorize people by age or hair color or height or weight. In my humble opinion, none of those factors will guarantee you a fabulous affair but whatever – get what you want this time! And it won’t last, so if it doesn’t work, you can try something else next time! You deserve it!
I was astonished by a man who told me, “I only date women who are at least 6 inches shorter than I am, weigh between 110-120 pounds, blonde, my race, my religion, like my music and dance well and can meet during the day at least once a week.” Wow. There’s a guy with standards! My devilish side wishes he’d fall for a dark-haired amazon and discover she gives the best blow job he’s ever had, but that’s just the way I am. I know men are very visual creatures and if that’s what it takes to turn you on, more power to ya. Whatever makes you burn, go for it!
b. Lower your standards
This probably should be widen your standards…. but speaking of not lasting, several people have told me it doesn’t matter what the person looks like, or how old they are or how much they weigh. You aren’t going to be seen in public with them or stay with them forever, so the usual standards don’t matter. And some people find super-attractive people intimidating, and don’t want to get into the competition. There is something interesting and sexy about each person you meet, and it’s fun to find out, so go for it. There are some people you just can’t get into, but that is rare. So go ahead and meet them. Kiss her! He may not look like George Clooney, but he may be the best kisser you’ve ever kissed. Or she may not be Selma Hayek, but have the most incredible hands ever to touch your private parts and a gorgeous voice that whispers the dirtiest secrets in your ear. And suddenly, they look a whole lot better!
As I look back over the men I’ve been with, there is no pattern. They are short, tall, skinny, fat, red-haired, blonde, dark and bald! Much older, much younger… even some my own age! White, black, Asian… and often the more unlike my ideal they were, the more sexy and special they turned out to be!
This is the route I hope you will follow, because, believe it or not, Sassy is not a super model! She is the woman who hides in plain sight, that no one notices. No man ever looks twice at me. And if I sent you a photo, you’d probably run screaming from the gray-haired curvy older lady. Phil had no idea what I looked like before we met (other than my tits). But if you take a chance? Ooh la la… I am happy with Phil, who, bless him, believes that attitude is more important than how I look. I’m not on the prowl, but there are a lot of us out here – lonely, passionate women who will rock your world if you take a chance.
So what’s your theory? Do you have an ideal? Were your best EMRs with people who fit your ideal?